Talking Ben

Biographical Information
Alias(es):	Ben Talking Ben God in the Save-Ums Fanon and SBFW Universes djKaktus
Chronological Age:	Infinite
Physiological Age:	Infinite
Birthday:	September 5
Ethnicity:	Dog Swann Author Variant of the Supreme Aeon
Occupation(s):	God's Mascot Selling Data to the FEDs Alcoholic
Signature:	The Murders
Colour Scheme:	Tan
Familial Information
Brother(s):	Yeat (twizzy)
Wives:	Ren(Formerly)
Son(s):	Mr. Game & Watch SCP-3812
Pet(s):	Mr. Game & Watch(Technically)
Descendant(s):	Kumoko (grandchild)
Relationship Statuses
Friend(s):	IShowSpeed Juancarlo Albaez
Enemies:	IShowSpeed Ren 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 Vermillion E Juancarlo Albaez

“	Hohoho, this is Ben here, I'm the El in Elohiem, I'm Elohiem BEN.	”

Talking Ben (トーキング・ベン, Tōkingu ben), also known as God (神様, Kami-sama), Skeebo Seltzer (スキーボ・セルツァー, Sukībo serutsu~ā), is the central character of the app of the same name.

He is God, he is El Shaddai. We stan Talking Ben.

He was formerly just El before seeking to represent YHWH as a cartoon mascot as one of his Sephirotic forms.

Within the Save-Ums lore, he is the true overarching antagonist prior to the final serial and also serves as the main God of all the Abrahamic Religions and is an extremely anomalous being capable of overpowering even the most powerful of all beings. Even Omniversal threats like 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 and Mr. Bean do not stand a chance against him alone. He is de-facto creator of the entire Omniverse since it was his bipolar fracturing of ego that resulted in the birth of the Omniverse. He created a shit ton of stuff within the entirety of all realities, inspiring sapient beings to mathematics, sophisticated musical instruments, weapons of mass destruction, and lots of war. He is the oldest character in the franchise and has the largest amount of fans within all realities.

He originally started off as a character featured in the Daddy Pig Cinematic Universe #RIPSBFW where it was revealed that Ben is literally a God and responsible for deciding whether or not someone gets into Heaven or Hell. In the SCP Universe, he was the name for the being that lived inside SCP-3812's mind being known as "Ben." In the Omniverse Saga, the events of the story unfold, it is slowly revealed that he is a split entity separate from God similar to Mort whose knowledge of the universe made him dangerous giving him goals that were long chess plans similar to Xehanort's schemes, Talking Ben is chill and chooses to simply explore and watch the universe with no real end goal other than amusement. During pre-timeskip who along with the Phantom Troupe and PWHNIWGO, both Ren Höek and Talking Ben, would both be characters that would have true moral ambiguity not be aligned with either the Imperium / Light, Chaos, or Xenos, at least until later in the second half of the narrative, where it was revealed that Ren Höek is an insane psycopath that runs a Death Squad while Talking Ben is linked to a higher level of BnL disconnected from the NPC activities within Dimension 1218 serving another side of the Imperium. Talking Ben siphons off hard working Americans to fuel his vacations around the globe, however due to retiring early as a God most are unaware of the theft that goes on whenever he siphons off taxpayers globally. Despite him being a data harvester and selling data to NPCs, he is not just a regular member of the NPCs. Instead he watches his creations above then who are NPCs to govern themselves and laugh at their stupidity watching them beat each other laugh while he explores the universe like it is all some vacation to him.

He is also the star of The Talking Ben Show, Talking About Ben. And several other shows. He was intended to appear as a feature on rapper Yeat's 2023 album, Aftërlyfe, on the song "How it go", but when his contributions were removed when Yeat asked him if he was ready for the song to be released and Ben replied "no". His only verse was saying "Ben". Talking Ben got married to _ on February 28, 2023. He is also an alcoholic and provided Ren Höek with the immortal elixirs created in the 1920s as a result Ren Höek is forced to be with him for dependency. In The Ren and Talking Ben Show, he is depicted as a sarcastic, often detached dog who finds himself thrown into increasingly absurd situations alongside Ren. He tries to keep his composure even when Ren tells him outlandish stories about being a robotic superweapon from Venus, going so far as to call a lunatic asylum to deal with Ren's madness.

Despite his usually calm demeanor, Ben can be impulsive. When he gets his first credit card, he goes on a reckless shopping spree, filling the entire house with purchases until salesmen show up to reclaim everything. He also joins Ren and an absurd mix of characters on a camping trip where they face the Frosted Flakes Mafia and other surreal threats, treating the chaos almost casually. Ben occasionally indulges in bizarre curiosity, like when he presses a "pointless" button and ends up transforming. He also finds himself dragged into Ren’s destructive antics, such as being chased during Ren’s insane outburst that leads to the Empire State Building’s destruction.

An old as fuck silver coin with Yahweh depicted on it. Most notably one of the first ever fan art of Ben.

Yet, there are softer moments showing Ben’s loyalty and emotional depth. He bonds with old friends like Talking Tom, helps Ren on their strange holiday journey to the North Pole, and even has an entire day dedicated to his raw, unfiltered sadness. In every case—whether battling alien invasions, enduring nonsensical adventures like pickle jar struggles, or reluctantly becoming Ren’s servant when he mistakes him for a ghost—Ben remains the grounded but oddly adaptable counterpart to Ren’s chaos. At some point in Act 4, it would be revealed that he isn't a regular NPC nor a retired board member of Buy N Large staging the events to make sure Ren Hoek remains deranged and an abuser to him, Talking Ben is one of the aliens that completed BnL's mission to reach Infinity and beyond as BnL advertised. Talking Ben owns several charities to push messages for Disney and is harvesting organs for his own twisted plans. The SCP he created SCP-3812 reflects on BnL's larger message to climb the narrative stack and become God in which Dimension 1218's BnL failed to accomplish. Throughout the Freaky Saga he guides various characters to both destroy and aid NPCs in order to keep his position in the narrative stack as a God. Some of his efforts include creating portals on Earth most significant of which being the Bermuda Triangle in which he aids in bringing his agenda between Isekai and reality. In Act 1 many portals between worlds would close leaving Earth to figure things out for themslves. He constantly fights against Dotar Surk for supremacy as well as attacking his own creations to teach them a lesson and punish them for their sins.

Ben is a very jealous being, hating other beings with more power or the potential to become more powerful than him and he is always finding ways to stop them. Despite many of his fanboys being conservatives, he is not. His true sole purpose is to destroy the entirety of all realities. He is not woke, conservative, chaotic, orderly, darkness, or even truly light, nor 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. He is completely Neutral but that does not mean he is chill. Instead, he hates all three categories with a passion and sees himself as superior to everyone of them. Ben hates all three of them. Talking Ben uses his position of power to feel superior to others who need to use age verification for daily activities. He has good relations and connections with Mark Zuckerberg who lobbied politicians billions for Talking Ben to rake money for his private jets, money, corporate assets, stock bonds, ETFs, using every normies face to rake for cash so that he can brag about his wealth as a "non-Normie" to the NPC masses.

It is commonly theorized he might be Jazzi and B.B. Jammies' actual father.

Overview

The Ren and Talking Ben Show

Talking Ben binging on immortal alcoholic elixirs that he sometimes provides to Ren Höek

Talking Ben is one of the two main protagonists of The Ren and Talking Ben Show, a lazy, coffee-obsessed dog whose deadpan personality contrasts perfectly with Ren’s unhinged energy. While he usually prefers sitting in his chair reading the newspaper, Ben frequently gets dragged into bizarre adventures, from helping Ren destroy every Arby’s restaurant in "Arby’s Catastrophe" to joining him on a universe-ending rampage in "Destroy All Humans". Though his default responses are usually “Yes,” “No,” or his iconic laugh, Ben often reveals a darker sense of humor, particularly when experimenting in his chemistry lab or assisting Ren in morally questionable schemes.

Despite his laziness, Ben has proven himself surprisingly resourceful and adaptable in chaotic situations. In "Talking Bin" and "Talking Bin 2", Ben willingly lives in a trash bin just to see what he can find, while in "Sleepy-Time Ben", he spends an entire night attempting—and failing—to fall asleep, ultimately resorting to absurd experiments involving caffeine. Even when faced with the horrors of Ren’s madness, such as in "Rhapsody of Insanity", Ben stays relatively calm, showing that his apathy is both his greatest weakness and his greatest strength.

Ben’s relationship with Ren is strange but unshakable. Whether they’re trespassing into Shrek’s swamp in "Swamp of Doom" or accidentally ending up in another cartoon dimension in "Stimpy?", Ben rarely questions Ren’s plans and often plays the role of a reluctant partner-in-crime. Though he sometimes mocks or annoys Ren, episodes like "I’M SORRY REN!" prove that Ben genuinely cares for him, even if he would rather be drinking coffee than saving the world.

Biography

Part 1X

Genesis

A typical DPCU spinoff on SBFW featuring Talking Ben.

A long, long, long, long ass time ago, Ben created many children for his own personal use that would later be called the Sky Gods. As time went on, for unknown reasons, Ben and his young offspring began to distance themselves from each other like a typical dysfunctional family. Things went from bad to worse, when the Sky Gods decided to create a revolution against Ben which began a massive omniversal war to defeat their abusive tyrannical father.

Talking Ben created the heavens and the earth. In the beginning, the world was a formless void, and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from Talking Ben swept over the waters. Then, with a single word, Ben brought forth light, separating it from the darkness. He called the light Day and the darkness Night. Thus, evening passed, and morning came—the first day of creation and he said, "Hohoho!"

On the second day, Talking Ben made the dome of the sky, dividing the waters above from the waters below. He looked upon it with quiet satisfaction, approving his work with a single nod and said, "No!" Then came the third day: Ben gathered the waters together, calling them Seas, and brought forth dry land, which he named Earth. From the earth, vegetation sprang forth—plants yielding seeds and trees bearing fruit of every kind. Ben regarded it all with his signature calm shouting, "Ugh" and saw that it was good and said "Yes!"

By the sixth day, Ben had shaped the world in its fullness shouting, "Hohoho!" He created humankind in his image, naming them Adam and Steve, and blessed them with his peculiar sense of divine approval. When he had seen everything he had made, he declared it very good. And so, on the seventh day, Talking Ben rested, sipping coffee in silent triumph, for his work was complete and the universe—absurd as it was—belonged to him.

Subaru Saga

Introduced in the 1980s, Talking Ben’s relationship with his son, Mr. Game & Watch, is one of the most bizarre and strained dynamics in the multiverse. Though Ben insists he “loves him in his own way,” he struggles to connect with Mr. Game & Watch’s flat, two-dimensional nature—both literally and emotionally. Their disagreements often escalate into surreal arguments, with Ben angrily shouting “Yes!” and “No!” while Mr. Game & Watch simply responds with unsettling beeps and the occasional frying pan. Ben has admitted in several interviews on The Talking Ben Show that he feels overshadowed by his son’s strange, cryptic existence and is haunted by the fact that he can never fully understand him. Meanwhile, Mr. Game & Watch reportedly views his father’s alcohol addiction and apathetic attitude as furfag shit. Despite these rifts, there are rare moments where the two share a quiet bond—usually while watching static on an old TV, where words and dimensions no longer matter. Talking Ben occasionally visits Flat Zone to spend time with him along with his good frenemy, Bill Cipher. Ren Höek is Mr. Game & Watch's other parent, both are abusive and seeded his deep hatred of furries.

90s and Moccasins Saga

Not much happened here, but Talking Ben often interacted with Ren Höek and Stimpy often being defined with their strange mix of surreal humor and unlikely friendships. Most of their encounters revolved around odd experiments gone wrong, nonsensical arguments, and the occasional slapstick disaster involving moccasins—an oddly recurring theme during this time.

Part 2X

The Great Crossover Divide

TBA

Characteristics

Personality & Traits

[REDACTED]

Relationships

His Chosen Ones (Victims of Schizophrenia :))

Donkey Ollie

The first test subject of Ben for his new experiment known as schizophrenia. A once loved paladin of Ben, similar to Chris-Chan, he would become too delusional for Ben's own good and would think of himself as the true god which God was angered by such thoughts. He now sees Donkey Ollie as a simple failed first experiment which he doesn't really mind since he always has more people he could use.

"No need to threat, there are plenty more bugs in the world to truly harbour thy name of 'Chosen One'".

Chris-Chan

The prophet he mourns and screams "TRAITOR!!" over the most, as he falsely envisioned him to be the pioneer to Christianize millions of dimensions beyond Chris-Chan's but failed to realize he would really lose faith in God, in favour of the CPU Goddess; Emanuelle.

Terry A. Davis

God's favourite paladin. He was the man about to single-handedly bring about his millennial kingdom after the rapture. He was deeply hurt and vengeful towards Mr. Bean and Ka-Chung after the two wasted him.

Enemies

𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 𝓓𝓾𝓬𝓴

His most HATED peer and the one he loathes the most. He is shown to be reviled when anyone mentions him. For he is the rivalling power who fucks up his iron grip of law and order placed upon the world, and giving the animal kingdom the power of free will, miscommunication, and the chances of birth defects. He became even MORE pissed when Daffy created Autism to combat the norm of reality. It has been hinted throughout the story that both share a long past with each other before the creation of the Omniverse.

Quotes

“	Ben.	”

“	Yes.	”

“- - -“ (Left on hold.)

“	No.	”

“📳📳📳”

“	Hohoho!	”

Gallery

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Trivia

• He robs banks under a fake name and disguise he named "Mew2King".
• Despite being a vengeful god, he is surprisingly the least racist god in his tier.
• The only other things he invented are angels, homosexuality and Chicken Tiki.

Comments

we all stan talking ben
-- Ozzie T. Floridian (talk) 22:32, 19 April 2026 (EDT)