Ken Penders
| Ken Penders | ||
|---|---|---|
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Alias(es) |
The Worst Sonic Writer of All Time | |
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Pronouns |
He/him | |
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Birth date |
September 28, 1958 | |
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Birth place |
Ruckersville, Virginia | |
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Occupation(s) |
Nickelodeon Comic Writer | |
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Education |
US Air Force | |
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Friends |
Archie Staff (formerly) | |
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Employer |
Colonel Miles Quaritch (80s Saga / Act 1 ~ 5730s) | |
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Affiliation(s) |
World Purification Committee (Unknowingly) | |
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Previous affiliation(s) |
Archie Staff | |
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Enemies |
Karl Bollers / Chef Pee Pee | |
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Ethnicity |
White | |
Ken Penders is a writer and later director of the Fanboy and Chum Chum comics, writer for Doki Doki Literature Club's bonus DLC content, and most prominently; The Masturbation Diaries Series, where he tried to slowly make Sky Lark the main protagonist and Bob Bobowski the primary villain (he killed off Kyle). Tired of all the goofy shit the show is known for, he decided to take the comics into a paint by the numbers mythological narrative driven soap opera, full of consequence, death, and flawed heroes, also adding a shit ton of characters of questionable necessity. He was later replaced by the legendary Stephen Hillenburg. Ken Penders would later enter a gay relationship with Satan during the Meme Saga. He also held a few lesser known roles in writing comics for Star Trek and being a story-boarder for King of the Hill. His short lived story-board position for King of the Hill would get him into working for Nickelodeon as a full-time employee.
Hillenburg who was brought into the seat of directing SpongeBob again would soon arise with a new era that would be as short as his first reign. Hillenburg who began writing the SpongeBob manga in September 10, 2006 with irregular serialization following the release of the 2004 SpongeBob Movie, in his spare time would write a few one-shot stories, but after seeing Penders ruin Nickelodeon as well as the SpongeBob IP, Ken Penders and his network of influencers were fired in 2015, resulting in Hillenburg stepping in and rebranding Fanboy & Chum Chum Comics to CrösS;OVEr and reboot the timeline, however, Hillenburg would later state in an interview expressing his discomfort of being forced to return to Nick as series director, "I would rather just draw things, I hate writing. If I don’t draw it, I will start to feel sick when it doesn’t take form. You don’t want to leave ideas idle in your mind," showing massive creative burnout, this later lead to early cancellation of the SpongeBob Manga with a rushed ending with it's final arcs, the Asgard War and the Collapse of Bikini Bottom, being rushed following his death in 2018, citing Nickelodeon as a terrible place to work with overworked employees and long work hours. Doctors noticed a torn tendon in his shoulder, severe back pain, carpal tunnel, and other physical ailments, sometimes he’d be bedridden for a week, and rest didn’t seem to break the cycle. The weekly serialization schedule within Nickelodeon (which is very demanding) took a toll on Hillenburg physically and mentally. In 2025, a new director stepped in Hillenburg's place named ________, following his death in 2018 with a long history of documented ALS.
He was also the one to make a whole schizo timeline and overarching plot to the whole series of stories, including the ones that are not meant to be connected with each other into a coherent narrative at all. Inspired after watching a bunch of YouTube videos by The Theorizer.
He had penned characters such as Smokey 2.22, Sky Lark, Ruby Rose (Sky's love interest), Dr. Hämsterviel, The Harlot of the Flies, and Timmy Huckerdoo just to name a few. He was gonna pitch a FB&CC movie to Nickelodeon, but they were not impressed and seeing his comics, quickly cancel the series. His reception is mixed, as Smokey 2.22 was his most popular character by fans. But he was also heavily criticized for Harlot of The Flies, being the most disgusting thing created for FB&CC, if not in all of media, that and how spends too much time going over the history and art of slushies and its importance to men like Chum Chum. Surprisingly he won due to Nickelodeon's own incompetency and kept his creations, however like the FineBros, he failed to copyright the concept of "slushies" in general. He is now writing his own comic, which is pretty much the same shit as before; writing about a knockoff Sky Lark saving the day and the struggling to maintain his marriage with his wife.
After The Arc series were cancelled, he made an arse of himself trying to take the copyright of the various types of slushies and other shit shown in the comic. Surprisingly he won due to Nickelodeon's own incompetency and kept his creations, however like the FineBros, he failed to copyright the concept of "slushies" in general. He is now writing his own comic, which is pretty much the same shit as before; writing about a knockoff Sky Lark named Dexter Fishery saving the day and the struggling to maintain his marriage with his wife. Penders would not actually be the one to conceive Dexter and would only force Monika as his own creation after making a deal with both CommanderNemex and Team Salvato who were important workers for his plans on getting the Masturbation Dairies finished. He would then reveal that he was in reality working for Rooster Teeth and that his protagonists, Team CRDL were what he called fake 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers in hopes to demonize 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 and 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism and promote NPCism instead and had ruined the cast flanderizing and ruining them to promote his real protagonists. The writing team at both RoosterTeeth and Team Salvato were horrified what he had done with their characters. Penders would then announce the Masturbation Dairies as his true end project and that he and Game & Watch have taken over an island renaming it Pee Pee Island to forever disrespect the former co-worker Penders ruined to the ground. Penders then unveils a massive torture device called "the Slap" to slap everyone who had ever offended him. Satan is also tortured, but says the slap hits good. Penders then talks more about how much he loves Satan as the public in South Park are shocked. The character Dexter Fishery would later inspire Nintendo to rip Penders off creating the character, Myles MacKenzie, after seeing Penders successfully copy the MCU for his Fanboy & Chum Chum comics.
At some point Penders would finish the Masturbation Dairies, but it would take him several centuries and require other more competent NPC writers to complete the work. Within the lore of the Masturbation Dairies, which would later become a play sometime in the future of the 5700s where Dr. Eggman as a new user named Rotciv would produce a play with various USERs with Ken Penders at the helm watching the audience praise his NPC AI Slop, as a rip-off artist.
