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| Capa Simulator 2015 | ||
|---|---|---|
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| The game's front cover | ||
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Developer |
??? | |
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Publisher |
Microsoft | |
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Engine |
Very Real Engine 3 | |
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Platforms |
PC (Windows 108) | |
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Genres |
Open World, Action, Simulator, RPG | |
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Release Date |
July 15th, 2011 | |
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Age Rating |
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Reviews |
Mostly Positive ☺ | |
Caparezzonionachovich vs. the Neo Scary Overlords: Evil Demon Molesters and StrAngels Among the Masses in Big Italy Simulator 2015: Gold Edition, otherwise known by its shortened name, Capa Simulator 2015, is an open-world game designed for Microsoft's Games for Windows 108 Live. Released in 2011, the game received mixed reviews from critics and audiences alike for its shady marketing and development, but engaging and immersive gameplay, good graphics, and overall interesting experience. The game was nominated for a Scammy, but it did not win the award due to lack of evidence of the game existing outside of widespread anecdotal rumors, and some strange incidents that nobody could connect to the game without knowledge of who played it. Scientists are still convinced that the game was a mass hallucination brought upon by God as punishment for destroying the psyche of Chris Chan and plunging the timeline into darkness.
The game follows the titular Caparezzonionachovich traversing Big Italy. The town is attacked by Evil Demon Molesters after the lord of darkness, supreme Neo Scary Overlord, and villain of the game "Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ" opens a portal in the sky. The demons begin molesting the citizens of Big Italy almost instantly, with Capa being targeted by a well-endowed imp. Right before the imp is about to shove its giant demon schlong up Capa's poophole, Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine flies in and tears the imp's genitalia clean off, causing it to implode and disintegrate, its remains being sucked back up into the sky and through the portal. This establishes the way to destroy enemies.
After narrowly avoiding rape, Capa and Drix pair up to find the rest of their friend group to stop the demon invasion, and destroy Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ to save the earth from destruction. After this point, the game becomes fully open world and the story is procedurally generated depending on the player's actions. The only real set goal is to destroy as many demons as possible and kill Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ to beat the game.
The gameplay centers around roaming Big Italy and killing demons. To do so, the player must use different characters and items to most effectively destroy them and gain experience to beat the game.
Being a simulator, the game is entirely open world, and the player can progress at their own pace. The game world is filled with unique background characters, and every building is interactive. The player can interact with different buildings and characters to gather resources, gain experience, and learn more about the game's world. Some building act as a safeguard to demon attacks, while others can be fully destroyed or invaded by them. Background NPCs will also attempt to fight the demons with the player, albeit in a non-effective manner as to not offset the game's difficulty; Think Alyx shooting at enemies in Half Life 2.
Demons will sometimes attack the player, even if the player does not engage first. Demons are always patrolling the world and will attempt to attack on sight, so long as the demon's confidence stat is high enough in relation to the player's experience and abilities.
The player can switch between any of the main characters at any time, similar to GTA V, with the only exception being when the player is actively engaged in combat and the character they want to switch to is not in the same fight.
The player can create weapons and gadgets to help them progress. These items require different materials to create, with different characters having certain items only they could create. The wide variety of items allows players to create their own playstyle.
Despite not having a set-in-stone story, the game features multiple cutscenes when specific conditions are fulfilled.
At the very beginning of the game, Capa is seen in his house. He is drinking a rather large cup of coffee and eating a wide array of Italian pastries while staring at static on his TV. After a few seconds, he hears a loud whirring outside, which irritates him and causes him to storm out of his house. After exiting his house, Capa sees multiple the demons cooming out of the portal before they start attacking people off in the distance. He then is grabbed by surprise by an imp. Right before Capa is molested, Drix flies in from the sky and grabs the imp, pulling it away from Capa, hitting it upside the head, then forcefully removing its genitalia and throwing it on the ground. The imp proceeds to scream, and implode a second later before disintegrating. The resulting ashes then begin floating up into the air, eventually swirling back into the portal the demons came through. Capa thanks Drix and says they have to team up to stop the invasion. Drix agrees instantly and says they should find their other friends across the country to help.
When the player reaches the main office of the Black House, the main government building of Big Italy, Cory is seen sitting in the big chair holding a shotgun. Capa and Drix (and any other characters the player has met, should the player meet the main characters in a different order) announce that they're present as to not alarm Cory. Cory then spins around in his chair with a smile, and gets up to happily greet the characters. Drix asks Cory if he'll come along with them to fight the demons, to which Cory says he'll gladly help. After this point, Cory becomes available in the player's roster.
| Caparezzonionachovich | ||
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Attack |
65 | |
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Defense |
35 | |
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Speed |
70 | |
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Max Health |
300 | |
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Type |
Jack-of-all-trades | |
Capa is the first playable character in the game. He is first seen sitting in his home eating various pastries and drinking a coffee while watching the static on his non-functioning television. When he hears the sky portal being opened, he steps outside and stares at it. After a few seconds, he sees multiple people on the streets being molested by demons before promptly being grabbed by the aforementioned imp.
He is seen to be somewhat irritable, first demonstrated when he became angry at the loud sound the portal made when it was opened, angrily storming out of his house. Throughout the game, he rarely goes 3 lines in a conversation with someone who is trying to test him without snapping.
Being the first playable character, he has a mixed set of abilities to get the player familiar with the game's mechanics. The items that he can create are somewhat shoddy and break with prolonged use, but cover every category of item and can mostly be made with common materials. He also has the highest increase threshold for max health, starting at 300 and the max being 1500 (not including temporary buffs).
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| Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine | ||
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Attack |
85 | |
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Defense |
95 | |
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Speed |
30 | |
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Max Health |
4000 | |
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Type |
Ice | |
Drix is a character available alongside Capa at the very start of gameplay. Unlike Capa, he is able to destroy imps without the aid of weapons by simply freezing them and grabbing them. Despite how tanky he is, though, he is limited by being an ice-type character. Fire-type demons are resistant to ice attacks and will thus be more difficult to take down without weapons.
Despite his somewhat arrogant nature, Drix is a very well-intentioned character who never attacks or gets angry at anybody other than the demons. He is seen holding Capa back from attacking multiple side characters throughout the game, and even temporarily freezes him when he gets too angry in the game's 13th cutscene before apologizing to the people he was threatening.
His attacks and abilities are mostly based around freezing enemies and the environment around them, since he is a cold medicine and was originally made to fight off flu symptoms. His crafting abilities are very limited, having only 3 items he can build that are meant to enhance his arm gun abilities.
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| Cory Baxter | ||
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Attack |
75 | |
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Defense |
99 | |
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Speed |
20 | |
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Max Health |
1200 | |
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Type |
Brute | |
Cory is a character that is unlocked upon visiting the Black House in Rome. Upon visiting the main office, he will appear in a spinning chair and greet the character you are playing as. His method of killing demons is to wrestle them down and tear them apart. He specializes in 1 on 1 combat, and will struggle when encountering groups. The lower his health is, the closer his attack stat will increase to 95, and his speed to 40. Both stats go back to normal upon healing to full health.
Cory is without a doubt the most confident character in the game. When fighting enemies, he will spout quips and crack jokes at the demons' expense, with some insults being directly tailored to the enemy type. He immediately takes to joining the main heroes and states that he's excited to fight alongside them.
He is an attack-focused character, having the most combo moves of any character in the game. When he hits enemies, there's a high chance of stunning them, which is useful when coming across grouped-up enemies. Often, he's able to kill smaller enemies with a single hit. His crafting abilities are fairly limited, being mostly pastry-oriented. However, items are not always necessary for him, as his strength and durability more than makes up for it.
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| Captain Flynn | ||
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Attack |
80 | |
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Defense |
60 | |
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Speed |
45 | |
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Max Health |
900 | |
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Type |
Mechanic | |
឴
឴Flynn is unlocked by going atop the highest tower in Big Italy and lighting off a flare, which will lead to Flynn flying in almost immediately and jamming his anime-girl wrapped, gun-wielding biplane into the top floor of the tower. Upon going down from the roof to the top floor, a cutscene will trigger where the player's current roster asks him to tag along, to which he agrees to. Having been a pilot most of his life, he has gained great knowledge on how flying machines work, and by proxy has gained some knowledge of machines in general. His playstyle is very focused around machinery and strategy over brute force.
He is somewhat airheaded and arrogant, which does not make him super unique among the playable characters, but his good-hearted nature and love for adventure and camaraderie make him more lovable, especially in comparison to characters like Stefan "MC Ride" Burnett, Super Macho Man, or even Capa. It is seen throughout the game that he gets along with Drix the best.
Flynn had the most items to create in the game. His craftable items vary widely from weapons to support items, with the unique attribute of being able to make items that are usable by every other character. He can also make fully autonomous drones that fly or drive on treads alongside a designated character and can attack enemies, heal, or enhance abilities.
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| Stefan "MC Ride" Burnett | ||
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Attack |
75 | |
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Defense |
70 | |
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Speed |
65 | |
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Max Health |
750 | |
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Type |
Sneaky | |
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឴឴឴឴឴
឴឴឴឴឴
឴឴឴឴឴
឴឴឴឴឴
឴឴឴឴឴
឴឴឴឴឴
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| Super Macho Man | ||
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Attack |
85 | |
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Defense |
60 | |
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Speed |
70 | |
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Max Health |
1000 | |
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Type |
Brute | |
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A little version of Caparezzonionachovich that can appear when called by the player to aid with abilities and navigation. He can only be summoned as Capa and will disappear as soon as the player switches to another character. He floats in the air alongside Capa and is invincible to damage due to being non-physical.
When Capa gets fatally injured, Caparezzonionachovizinno will attempt to vigorously mock Capa in order to make him get up. This mockery combined with Capa's explosive temper will more often than not make Capa get up again and restore 50% of his max health.
StrAngels are special Angels sent by the in-game God to aid in defeating the Neo Scary Overlords and stopping the invasion. They each possess special abilities and specialize in destroying certain types of demons.
ᏵዪᏖ፱𐌍ነ𐌊ፕ𐋄ጎ can cause time to slow down, and even freeze for certain enemies. He can also rewind time by 20 seconds while giving advice on how to handle the situation better.
🝍⎎⍧⅁☊⏙⎾⍓ has the ability to almost completely offset debuffs and limitations of the main characters for a short period of time.
| Icon | Name | Description | Condition |
|---|---|---|---|
| Et tu, Capa? | Your first step in stopping the invasion. | Destroy your first demon. | |
| Right back at ya! | Give those demons a taste of their own medicine. | Use the severed phallus of defeated demons to molest other demons 10 times. | |
Capa Simulator 2015 is perhaps the strangest, most elusive video game to ever "release." It had an official release date, and initially seemed to be a normal game. However, as time went on, weirder and weirder things happened which gave the game its mythical status, and a somewhat disturbing ambience.
Strangely enough, despite how much is known about the game, the entire thing seems to be entirely in the heads of the world's population. Past January of 2012, nobody, not even the people who supposedly owned the game, was able to find a physical copy of it. It's as if the game disappeared off the face of the Earth. Nobody could actually pinpoint any day or hour that the game vanished, and when security footage at game stores were checked, footage of people buying the game did not exist. This made headlines on every game journalism website and even many mainstream news sources. However, two weeks after this had happened, the Great Indian Ocean Fire of 2012 occurred, where the government of "Africa" somehow managed to set fire to an entire ocean by demolishing multiple old oil rigs. This caused the game to be removed from the masses' attention entirely, leaving the whole situation lost to time.
Reviews praised the game for being immersive. However, there were times it got too immersive for the sake of the players' safety. Many players reported that after a few hours of playtime, the borders of their monitors seemed to blend with their physical rooms, eventually resulting in the distinction between the real world and the game world being lost. The two realities were now one.
Some people claim to have had a special edition of the game called "Caparezzonionachovich vs. the Neo Scary Overlords: Evil Demon Molesters and ExchAngels Among the Masses in Big Italy Simulator 2012: Mold Edition" with slightly different box art. The game itself is said to be just different enough to warrant being a different edition.
Completely random popup
