Olie Polie

WARNING: THIS PAGE IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF CRACKTASTIC! YOU WILL GET A BRAIN TUMOR READING THIS.

“

“In the time of great suffering, there shall come an unidentifiable and demonically enigmatic detity beyond all known horrors and comprehension named Olie Polie. His powers shall be great, he shall cause chaos throughout the land, and only the most stout of heart shall be able to stand against his forces of evil. Let those with weak hearts stand and fight, but those with strong hearts shall be granted to watch. And should they not perish, they will be given the power of the strong heart, should they wish it. And so let those who have ears, hear, and those who have hearts, understand the true nature of Olie.”

— John, 3:16

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“I will drink your tears and the blood of your children. I will make your wife beg me to sleep with her.”

— Olie

p̶̪̼̈́̈́o̴̡̞̺̳͖̕ĺ̶̝͕̠̪̪͝ĭ̵̩̥̟͍͖̭̺̖̇̿̓̇̾̂͛̌͘ͅė̶͖̜̗̘̙̗̞̺͍̍̓́͆͂̇͝ ̶̢͚̤̒̂ö̵̘́̐̾̿̔ḷ̶̢̜̮͈͚̘̫̤̽̏̃̔͆͌i̴̛̖̘͒̏̍̄̈́ͅé̷̝͇̀̿͒̉̈̌͌͊͒͜
First Appearance:	The Bible (mentioned) Your closet (physically)
Voiced by:	Cole Caplan Jack Black
Biographical Information
Chronological Age:	Yeah
Birthday:	Tuesday
Sex:	Terrorist
Sexual Orientation(s):	Pollie Pi
Fantasy Race:	Bender
Occupation(s):	Pollie Pi enjoyer Olie Chaos causer
Characteristic Traits
Favourite Food(s):	All chemical elements
Goal(s):	Pollie Pi Be ZASED as fuck drugs
Familial Information
Sister(s):	Zowie

Olie Polie (オリエ・ポリエ, Orie Porie), also known as Rolie Polie Olie (ローリー・ポーリー・オリー, Rōrī Pōrī Orī), is a character within the Fanboy and Chum Chum franchise and the current ruler of the Netherlands. Although he first started out as a preschooler show character and an innocent young boy, after he awakened his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 gene in the 2020s, our boi Olie went bad shit insane started doing some weird ass activity. He's well known for going to some random universe and causing the Black Death in Europe from 1346 to 1353 and currently leads his own crew that is just as chaotic as him. He currently lives in a mansion in Europe, more specifically in the Netherlands.

He enjoys getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 and will fuck pretty much anyone until they have been edged to death. A notable case being Chipbuck, who he very violently banged to death in Olie's favorite country, the Netherlands. When Olie retires, his successor will be his best friend, Sans Undertale.

First introduced in 1998 to coincide with his spin-off series, he was originally voiced by Cole Caplan (who also voices 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴lin Turtle) before later on being voiced by Jack Black (who also voices A1 Steak Sauce). The reception of the recast was very, very bad. It's surprising how they haven't recast Jack Black with somebody else more suitable for the role. Pussies. Change back the voice right fucking now. And please give us the 2 hours olie and pollie pi kiss scene please.

History

do you really want all of it lmao, it's complicated so here's a handful of it

Olie was created as an unintentional accident by the god of chaos and war. Originally, he was supposed to be named Tadpole, but it turned out to be impossible to rhyme. At some point when he was young, his parents kept trying to kill him because he was "possessed by demons."

He used to be a boy, but in the mid 2010s, a huge group of gays had a discussion on whether he should be considered a man or a boy. This conversation resulted in the gayest thing ever: an eight hour debate on Discord on whether the term "Man" should be used to refer to him. It was decided, that yes, Olie was indeed a man.

1st President Debate

Beginning in the 2020s, people have begun to find out that the true first president of the United States was Olie and not George Washington. He served from 1776 to 1777. He's known as the daddy of the United States, earning this title from being the only one that the Founding Fathers listened to.

This has also led to many conspiracy theories, with people who still believe the first president was George Washington being called "Olie deniers". Some Olie deniers in Mongolia have been arrested for believing that he was never the true president, but was later erased from history. It is illegal to be an Olie denier there because Olie is Bean Khan's diddy blud.

List of Deaths

all of these had him resurrect almost immediately, as listed below

• Ironically, once died of testicular cancer at the White House
• Heard his own voice in a recording and died of cringe
• Shot dead by Simon Cowell
• случайно возродил советский союз
• He rode a firework hoping to get to space
• Crushed by Luigi's ballsack
• Shit exploded while sitting on the toilet
• Had all his flesh burned off with molten metal in his crotch
• Dropped off the Taj Mahal and died to severe head trauma
• Shot himself in the head with an AK-47 (he thought it was a nerf gun)
• His intestines were removed and his face was smashed into a mirror with it
• Got run over by a car with a nuclear bomb in it
• Choked on his own semen
• Got his dick ripped off by an elephant and bled to death
• Burned to death by execution
• Had a really bad stomachache and died of it
• Died of a brain aneurysm
• Hanged to death by his own balls with a rope
• Pollie Pi tricked him into thinking she ate the yellow Starburst and fucking died. Olie fucking killed himself he was that miserable
• He accidentally ripped off his penis after jerking too hard and died
• He was possessed by the souls of dead Ancient Egyptian pharaohs after eating the 900,000,000 year old honey stored in some random ass pyramid and they drove him to become a monstrous, eldritch being uncontrolled by man - eventually he was by being tranquilized by a secret underground organization and was surgically dissected by unknown figures in order to harvest his organs to scientifically discover how he became the horror he has become (they had no fucking idea about the pharaoh souls)

Skills, Powers and Abilities

• He breaks the laws of physics since he sees it LAME AF
• Does this Dry Bones ass thing where if he dies, he immediately comes back to life.
• He knows your search history and IP.
• Can spawn anything he wants.
• He can call upon all spirits in the universe and summon a trillion of them at once.
• His scream is more powerful than the Big Bang and can melt the bones in your body.
• He has 3000 genders and is a bicycle.
• Can call upon the spirits of the unborn and the nonliving.
• Has 125 trillion IQ.
• He has 100% omnipotence and omnipresence.
• He can time travel by just looking in a mirror.
• Is immune to anything and is 5 million times stronger than anybody on Earth. Or is he? It doesn't matter because it's impossible to hurt him.
• His crotch is made of a supercomputer.
• If you kill him, his body will still move. Seriously, try it out.
• He can be in two places at once.
• When he blinks, all other beings around him die.
• He can send you into the sun.
• His laugh is more powerful than nuclear weapons and you will die from it instantly.
• His dick is 461 trillion feet long and can kill you with a single touch.

Gallery

• 

  Olie

Trivia

Story

• Olie appears in all Season 95 episodes (sound familiar?)
• Olie is a real person.
• Some think his last name is actually Griffin.
• His hobbies are going on the treadmill and reading Playbean.
• Olie is currently on trial for attempted rape and pedophilia in a courthouse in the United States.
• He's the reason that everybody is at war with each other.
• He helped Bean Khan become khan of Mongolia.
• Olie was never meant to appear in RIP: Mario.
• There are statues of Olie all around the world.
• Olie may or may not have killed Freaky Patrick by accident. 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 forgives him though.
• He's been known to cause the death of children in a certain incident involving the words "birthday party".
• Once, Olie broke the 4th wall and was seen by the director, who died instantly and became undead. He is now a walking corpse.
• Olie can kill you with his bare hands.
• He wants to find an octagon.
• Olie has more lives than cats.
• Olie has appeared on all seasons of American Idol, and currently has an all-star contract.
  • He has sexually harassed all of the contestants of American Idol.
• Olie was once an ant.
• An unexplained incident has Olie's size become so huge that he became infinite, which is bad for Fanboy and Chum Chum's universe because it's too big for their universe. Fanboy got stuck in his crotch.
• Olie is also responsible for the Spanish Flu pandemic.
• Olie loves making people uncomfortable.

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