Enrique

Enrique!
- This page has been written to an A+ level

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Threat Level: ███▒▒▒ BOUNDLESS, ONTOLOGICAL PERFECTION, AND META-APEIRON

»⠀This "individual" is completely transcendent over any and all forms of hierarchical extension within the Omniverse. More specifically: They not only encompass the collection of all possible "qualities" represented by a nigh-omniversal entity, but also exceed it utterly, existing beyond any and all distinctions between ontologies and any division between objects. They are beyond differentiation, changeless, indivisible, ineffable, self-sufficient and completely unsurpassable.

»⠀This "individual" is the absolute as maximally unqualified, beyond the division of cause and caused, relation and related. It cannot be said to be cause for it is the condition by which all such notions are rendered intelligible. It is by itself not unified, for as unity and no more — all things come to be unified. In simply remaining by itself as Absolutely transcendent, the dialectic of causation comes to be, and by remaining outside the dialect of causation, it becomes the condition and vacancy by which cause and caused are revealed.

»⠀This "individual" is the influence, creation, and destruction of all logical space that contains all logically possible worlds within the framework of alethic modality, meaning any world derived from any formal or logical system within classical logic. This tier has no upper limit, and its magnitude is the extension of all possible worlds that conform to non-classical logic modalities.

	"Enrique" HAS BEEN APPROVED BY EVERYONE EVER!
	You know there'll be jokes.

THIS PAGE WAS WRITTEN BY A MASSIVE SCHIZO! The following page (or section) was written during a Schizophrenia episode. You should remind the author to take their meds.

Now playing: "I Get Wet"

Franchise:	ERROR 404
Created by:	Himself.
First Appearance:
Appears in:	Yeah, no way I'm wasting my precious time listing out the 9,937,843,924,478,823,846,927 hours worth of media that I appear in.
Portrayed by:	Himself.
Voiced by:	Himself.
Emblem:
Biographical Information
Real Full Name:	Unknown (possibly nameless or perhaps so; no one knows, not even himself, probably something much more indescribable, incomprehensible, unpronounceable, and beyond all fictional googology.)
Epithet(s):	A LOT (an infinite number of epithets)
Title(s):	A LOT (an infinite number of epithets)
Alias(es):	Derivatives: Heinrich (German) Henry (English) Hank (English) Henri (French) Henrique (Portuguese) Quique (Spanish) Kike (Spanish) Quico (Spanish) Kiko (Spanish) Kala (Spanish) Kalaka (Spanish) Enric (Catalan) Enrico (Italian) Riku (Japanese) Nicknames:A LOT (an infinite number of nicknames)Codenames:A LOT (an infinite number of codenames)Organizational NamesA LOT (an infinite number of organizational names)In-Universe MediaA LOT (an infinite number of in-universe media names)Undercover AliasesA LOT (an infinite number of undercover aliases)
Chronological Age:	∞ΩK(oblivion)
Physiological Age:	60+
Birthday:	27th of October, ∞ ♏︎
Sex:	Male
Gender:	Starts with "M" and ends with "ale" times two, multiplied by three, then minus by two, then divided by zero, then multiplied by a trillion, then divided by sextillion, and then subtracted by sextillion again, then exponentially increased past infinity A.K.A. the Grandfather Clock without the L. Irrelevant A.K.A. Omnigender (You know he's got a 999999 incher. You just wanna ignore it but you can't. Not when it's in you.)
Sexual Orientation(s):	Omnisexual
Pronouns:	Refer to me anyway you want fuckers. I could care less! I mostly go by he/him due to NPC propaganda!
Classification(s):	H̷̬̉̏̇̎̚ē̷̠͎̌̽̋͝ ̸̨̹̲̰̬̫̤͓̮̰̆̇̋͑́̇͆̀͝͝h̵͑͂̈̋̽͊͌́̏͜a̵̧̼͈̭͍̯̾͑̎͋̈́̈́̅̓̈̍͘s̵̢̻̠̎̈́́̑̿̉̕͘͝͠͝ ̵̮̥͌̋͌͊͛̄̿͘n̸̪̉̏̀͛͆̈́̕o̵̩̘͎̼͛͑̀̏̿̕ ̵̯͉̫̻͕̟̯̙̆̿c̷̨͇̗̻̞̱̬̅͛̈́͗̍̅̍̂͌͛̂ļ̴͕͖̥̩͓͊̓͑̎̓͛̿͑̂̿͝a̵̢͍̼͔͌͝ś̵͕̫͎̂̿́͆͊͛͘͝͝s̶̬̯̹̗͎̍̐̎̊̀̚í̴̱̯̼̯̰͉̤̺̉̌̐̈́͒͆̎̈f̴̪̟̱̉̓̊̽͋į̴̢̘̒̈́c̷̼̹̠̩̤̀̐̌̄̔̈̽́̆͂a̷̡̛͌̓ͅẗ̴̛̞͈̤̩̰̱́̾̍͗͑í̷͔͑ͅo̴̡̨͎̼͖͉̞͎̞̼͗̄̂͗̓́͗͂̓̚͝n̶̘͔̝͕͌́,̵̰͍̲͑͑͠ ̵̢̡̢͕͔̦̯̣̰̈́ͅb̴͉͓̫͌ù̷͙̽̆͐̆͊̊̔ṭ̸̢͔̅̀̈͗̀̽̑̑͊͝ ̴̛̣͔̖̐̌̑̾̑̎̆̃̀h̸̛̛̯͚̫̞̏̒̃̉̀̊̓͆͝é̶̜̤̰͍̓͂͒͝r̴̖͔̲͙͎͂́̀̾̀̒͆͘͜͝ę̶̛̱̉͂́̉͊͘͠'̸͕̮͆͑̉͋̇̈̑̓ş̴̡̨̼̦͔͖͋͑̉͋́̈́̒̔͝ ̴̡̡̨̗̩̗̥͖̹̙͑͋̊̋̏̋̅̆̓̎͠s̸̢̧̮̮̥̙̻̱̬̫̣̓o̷̜̽̐̀̊̇̓m̷̪̬̟͂̌͗̀̽̐e̶̱͛̐͌͗͛ ̴̞̞͇̝̀̂̉̌̾p̸̧̛͕̿̑o̶̭̰̯͈͙͒́i̶̧̱͚̯͚̣̝͑͒͋͋͐̕ň̸̛͉̟͙͔͐̃͝t̵̠͈͈͓̱̺̲͗̄̄͗̈́̓̀̊̆̚l̶̡̰̱̱̣͓̰͒͑̊̌̏̕ͅe̶͎̹͊̔s̸̛̹̙̗̟̰̔́̔̿̏͋͝͝s̵̨̛̙̺̱̙̲̗͕̈́ͅ,̵̛̯͉̠̟̹̊͘ ̸̨̺̱̖̪̻̟̘̘͎̘̄͂̅͌̔͂̐͗͠͝u̶̡̨͎̜͚̞̪͋̒̌͘s̸̠̗̲͎̬̭͕̾̿͆̿͌̊̂́̓ḙ̴̢̜̻̯̺̣̻͖̠͋̎̄ͅl̴͎̤̣̮̑̂̓͗̅̀͐ė̸̢̧̹s̸̪̳̘̥̦͚̳̤̺̥̖̋̏ṣ̵̮̤̲̹̭̫̒̍̏́͑̕̕͝,̵̨̢̤̻̘̞̪̙̔̈́͑ ̴̧̢̟̪̫̪͚̩͉̖̃f̵̛̳͔̠̺̊͆̀̈́͘ṳ̶̢̪̯͇̭̯̃̍̓͝͝ç̴̢͓̹̱̩̥̘̮̘̝̊̓̐͐͑̔̑̂̄̑͠k̸̢͇͖̘̭̣̩̗͍͂͒͜i̸̡̤͈͍̭͇͕͊̍͆͝t̵̨͓̝͖̼̲͉͙̰̓͑̆͊̊y̵̩͆͊-̵̡̨͕̺̗̣̘̾́͒̋̂͜f̴̛̛̬̻u̴̜̠͔̫̝̟̩̯̍̽͒̈́̃̾c̶̨̘͎̙͖̼̳̪͙̓͛̒̃̕k̴̹̫̗̯̯̬̻͛̎̂̀̃͆̅̓̄e̸̡̡̧̡͓͕͓͓̮̋̋͆̈́ḏ̷͙̙̘͉̟̞̫̊̈́̐̄̓̑̃̄̚͘͝ ̵̦̮̩̓͌͆̄̓͌́͑̾͝͠c̸̣̹̈́̃ͅr̸̨̯̩̟̬̥̯̬̈́͛̄̐͑͂̍̊̆͘͘ͅå̶̡̭̦̖̰̣̘͙̳̓́̊ͅp̸̨̠̲͓͎̩͈̖̍͌̿̾̌̀̕p̴̢̡̨̛͕͙̙̼̘͎̬̣̊͌͑̈͛̑̾̃̕ỹ̸̺̻̣͎̘̝̯͐̄͊̅͑̾̈́̐͘ ̸̻̻͎̼̻̆̈́̆̈̒́̕c̷͇̹̤̮̭͕̙̀̈͆̓́̓͛́ṙ̸̬̦̠̿͆͋̑̀̊̑͐a̴͍͖͌̈́̅͗͝p̴̨̢͖̋͌͗̊̇̉̆͑̚͝,̷̧̝̲̪̥̥̮̋͛̈́͝ͅ ̸̺̝̩͖̺̞̘̫̼̱̒͐̈́́̐͐̐͝f̷̝̔̎̇̈̒͠͝ő̷͇̮͙͈̹̺̞̂́́͋̿̕̚̚ͅr̷͚̖̭̘̣͎̹̬̣̔͗ ̴̼͇̗̩͚̬͎̌͆̇͌̈́̎̂̏͑̕͠a̷͚̮̹̔͌̚͜b̴̞͖͚̬͈͖͔͐̌ŝ̵̨̡̺̪̟̀͜ơ̵̧̞̝̠̤̫̲̞̣͔͆͆͗̆̽̀͝l̸̢̹̭͇̩̹͖̹̏͌͂̒̋̽͊̋̾u̸̟̬͆̾̎ͅt̵̢͌̈́̀̍͋̂̈́͝é̶̜͚̲̙̦̒̀̓͐͊̿̈́̇ľ̴̪̝̮̘̱̦͑͆̈́̂̕y̴͔̮͈̟͎̙̲͉̎͐̆͗͋̉̉̎̕͝ ̵̢̛̪̫̬̱̫̐͊̽͑̆N̸̢̪̞̼̖͌͜O̵͉̙̫̔́́̅̈́͜ ̸̛̣̲͈͇̱̱̤̄̆́̉̀̚r̴̝̓̏̑̓e̶̢̛̖͚͍̞͔͙̩͙͊̀̀͋̇͋̕͘͝a̸̖̦͓̘̥̼͌̆͒͂̒́̎̌͊̚͜͝ş̴̱͔̜̝̰͗o̶̝̳̙̥͙͒͐̎̋̄̍͌͒̚̚͝ņ̶̬̺̾̃̆̅̅ ̵̢̡̨̝͐ͅͅa̶̢̲̪͚̤̭̳͙͛̓t̷̨̨̖̟̫̠̻͇̙̖̿͋̄̓̎̀̃̽́̒͘ ̵̢̱̪̗̼͙̞̲̔̉̾̃͋͜͠͝ã̷̪͙̺̞̒̆͗͒͗l̷̛̲̝̣̝̊̒͂͠l̸̗̣̭̰͉̳̝̒͌̎͌̽͌̈́͋̀̊̚ͅ.̴̰͓̲̙̏͋̆̏͘ ̴̹̦̻̟͎͇͓̀̽̈́͆́̃̆͂͛B̶̢̟̯̞̙̞͍͉̭̝́̓̅̀ủ̷̺̗̀͛̇̚̚ţ̷̋͊͗̌͌̕̚͝,̵͕͈͆͒͐̓̍ ̷̱̮̯̖̮̺͕̫̰͇̣͑̄͊̅̃̈́͐̔͊͛̋ḁ̷͓͓͍͖̠̊͋̉̒̄͑̌̌̂͐l̶̢̛̛̳̪̣̼̞̜̮͋͒̅͌́̇̿͜͝ͅs̸͙̘̺͊̎͘ͅő̷̡̹̘̰̝̽͌͝ͅ ̴̮͉̗͛̃f̸̨̘͖̤͙̠̞͓̗͍̭̆̅̑̈́́̏̚͠ó̸̡͕̩̱͚͖͖͆̒͋̊̑͘ͅr̶͉͍͙̤͔̖̤̦̄̓̿͊̕ͅ ̸̢͚̥͇̞̞̣͕̥̃̀͝a̴̻͇̍͛̊ ̴̰̳̻̩̝̫͂̔͂͂̅͗̋̾͝d̸̫̻̰̲͈̝̲̼͊̃̇͌̋̀́̽͘͘͜͜͜ù̷̡͔̻͎͈̖͎͎̘̾̐ͅm̶̜̘̟͂̏͐̂̈́̀b̵̮͇̭̻̾̊̊̽͘̚,̶̠̙̯̙̗̗̽͆̀̐͒̉͂̉ ̵̝̺̣̥̯̽͋̍͋̚̚̚s̸̪̥̈́̍͂̂͆̿t̸̡̘̣̽̾̇͊̽̌͝u̷̝̽͑̊͂͛̀̚p̶̳̮̻̘̌͐̽͊̒͠ī̶̧̺̫̬̰̼̼̩̰̏́̄͂̾͋̌̓́̒ḓ̶̖̙̱͐͐̃̽̈̂̄͘͝͝͝,̷͙̫̞͕̠̩͑́͊̋̉͠ͅ ̵̙̥̲͕͉̤̈̈́̐̃͜͝ỉ̵̛̙͉̰͈̮̹̲̄͂̃͛̀̓͜͠͝͝ḍ̶̡̜͉͇̖̺̯̉̃̃̓i̶̪̺̜̻̮̱͓̲͂o̷̢͉̼͔̹͗̾̓͘̕̕t̴̛̫̖̎̃̍̏̌̏͑͝į̷̡̼̝̠̮͚͗̓͗͆̓̎c̶̥͉͎̒͜,̶̛̱̺̬̪̟̯̭͔̤̏ ̵̨̟͍̲̹̹͗͂̈́p̵̨̈́̋̽͗͑̈́̿̈́͒́ę̵̳̫̻̦̬̈́͐͝ş̵̡̘̜͕̯̦̱̽̏͊͌̎̈́͗͌̀s̶̺̝̼͓̓́͌͌̈̒̂̇̄͝ï̷̘̑͋̑̍͒̀̅m̴͕͐̓͠i̵͚̭̫̜͕̘̳̪̍̌̀̔͗̈́̾͒̌ṣ̵̮̞͈̝̘̂͂͒͆́͂͛̚ẗ̶̡̪̲̦̟̳̦̳̮̙́̔̔͌̏̏͂ͅi̴̡̧͚͓͓̬̥͐̊c̸̨͕̗̜̬̘̰̈̿̋̿͋̽̿̉̔̕͜͝,̸̥̦̹̝̙͔̓̐̉̽͊͆̔͊̚̕ ̸͕̪̫̪̭͖̩̒̍͠ͅi̸̢̎̏̓̕ḻ̷̏̊̈́̆͐͊̋ļ̷͉͖̫̥͐͐̅͒ö̵̢̧̡̡̟͈͎͎͎̮̜́́ģ̵̦̟̬̗̭̱̐̑͛̇̄̓̏̌i̶͚͑͂͐͋̃̌͘c̴̗̥͚̣̙̋͑̔̔͋͋͂̕ḁ̸̡̬̝̱̱̲̼̻̱̽̇͐͑̊̀̽̂̊͝ͅl̷̨̗̳̲͖̥̝̻̩͉̈́̅̍̒́͝ ̸̮̺͕̘͓͙̭̘̝̦̥̈́ṙ̷̡̗̭̩̹̼̠̞̰̣̙͗̄e̷͇̩̘͍̲̙̯̯͈̾̅̇̀͌ͅâ̸̛̗̺̰͓̟̻͒̓͂̌̈́͘ͅs̴̛̩̞̫̻̅̆͆͑̃̀̀̈́̊̽o̷̰̯̫̲̙̐̀̊͑̏͒͌̈́̃n̶̢̤̗͈͙̯̪̗̔͊̈̅̚.̴̢̟͖̹̫̫̭̫̌̃͛ ̸̨̾̀̾̋͊̓͐͛͗̔͘T̶̜̤͔͈͂͋̋̋h̵̡̞̜͚͙̓͋͘͘͜ͅë̷̢͓̳̝̥̜͇̟̪́ͅ ̷̧̨͓̯̘̼͕͙̫̩̹͑̾͂̊̕̚͠s̷̡͉͛͛̋̆͌͘ã̶̛̱͉͎̠̩̫̰̱̞̅͊k̴̭̪̜͚̙̗̭̗̏̐̊͛̌̐͜͠ë̸̝́̉͊̇̀̌̄̃̕͝͝ ̶̨̙̲͇̙̟͍̣̟̗̎͐͆͗̌͝͠ͅơ̸̲̣̮̮̘͚̜̂̓̾̅̍͗̚͠f̵̲̬̿̀͒̽́̍̊̔͠͠ ̴̨̛͔͙̖̱͎̱̟̹̾̓̀r̷̛̘͔͉̣̱̘̍̆̒̆͊̃́͑͘e̵̠͚͍̯͉̭̎̑͠d̷̰͈̥̳̘̔̒̉̐̃̍͝͝ụ̴̗̟̣̠̫͙͙̹̺̉̊̌͛̓͌̆́͛͝n̶͙͇̱̺͍̦̈́͂͐̌͝d̶̢̫̮͈̣̪̄ā̸̡̧̮̩̞͍͔̘̄͐̀͗͘͝ņ̶̡̥̤̼̱̖͓̺̑̋͊͑́͆̕̚ͅͅt̸͙̠͍̓̑͘͜͝,̵̳̖͉͓̑̒ ̴̺̹͔̥̻̘̞̌̔͒ū̴̦͔̳̘͉̥̟̫̟̉͜s̸͕̳̓́͑̆͋̀̀̿̏͠͝ę̵͇͕̄͆̓͌̉͛l̴̡̥̝̝̟̟̙̩͉͔̪̍̓͋͛̽̑̍͘ȩ̸̣̟̠̭̹̮̫̟̤͙̿͂̔̓̎̒͗ş̵͔̫̱̥̼̖̲͗̃ͅs̸̲̮̣̯̖͕͆́̚,̶̧̧̭͇̦̹̙̼̲̌̇͒͗͌̅̾̍́ ̷̢̨̩͓̣͚̪̮̾̔́͝ͅd̷̢̧͈͕̲̞̟͋̉į̵͙̤̬͒͋̒́̈̀͊͘͝͠s̶̤͖͙̼͍̫̣͙̘͛̽̚͠g̶̮͙̓u̴̢̺̝̥̥͇̯͎̜̎͐̑̃͐͛̕š̸̰͇̺̲͓̜̻̹̎̕t̵͉͎̗͍̺͙̤̪͔̻̽̏̀̿ͅĭ̴̙̱̮̰̫͈̦̬̞̠̾͋̽̈́̿͛ṅ̵͕͈͍͎̖̹̀̑͘͘̕͝͝g̷̢̨̳̟͉͎̘̩͙͚̈́̽́̽͆̃͑͘,̸̬͕̜͕̮̗͍͗͗͊̾̑̇̀̑̑ ̵̰̐̇̌̐̂͌̑͌h̵̛̜̼̏͒̇̿̈́͆͛͑͝͠ȅ̸̪̇͆̋̈͗̚͘ą̶̠͇͎̽̈́͝ŕ̸͇͔̠̱̘̰͇͚̠͉̀̌́̀t̶̜͍̰̹̯̰̣͎͐̔̇͘-̸̙̮̹̹͎̦͚͉̩̳̏̌̿w̸̨͙͈͙̫͉̝͍̣͆͜ͅṟ̵̯̥̱̙̥͖͕̉̌̈́̀̇̑e̴͍̘̺̻̰̫͍͇̬̩͋̽͆̈́͋̂̆́̀̄n̵̰̤̩̫̑ç̷̙̜̫̈́̋̀̓̕ḧ̸̺͖̩̲̳́͘i̸̢̬̣̜̗̝̲̥͛̆ǹ̷̛̼̳͇̪̻̜̇̎̾̀̅͂̂ͅg̶̢̛̤̯̒̋̐͐̈́̔͊͠͝͠.̶͚̺̻̫̐̽̀̀̆͒̕͝.̷̢̱͖͉̱͉̒͒̕ ̷̧̛̮̥̩̣̠͆̇͌̓̈̆̏̀̈́͘p̴̛͇̲͓͚̻̠̮͖̖̪̓͛̍͋͑͑̚̚͝͝ͅo̴̡͉̰̤͎̫͓͉͔̔̃̽̆́̽͆͠ẁ̸̻͕̥́̉̌̊̿̂̚ę̵̠̖̣̱̘̝̭͚̿̒̽͛͝r̸̼̙̫̝̟̙̥̻̼̪͑̒̔̂͘͠s̴͕̪͈̾̾̀͊c̴̼̠̔̂̈́̄͂ą̶̙̻̫͆́͊͝ͅl̷̩̙͒̏͌̿̐̇͘͘̕̕͝i̵̡̯̖̫̱̿̀̕n̵͉̘̖̘͌̅͌̓̾̌̓̈́̀̚͝g̴͍̪͙̩̳͍̋̓͒̋.̶̡̩̗̝͈̜̖̰̠̱̄̓͌͌̍̕͘͝ ̴̮̥̼̟̠̺͍̝̻͂̀̓͘B̷̞̬̼̗̉͆̑̈͒ų̶̲̗̟̭̠̖̗̈́͒̑͗͂̑̔̔̀̚̕͜l̵͉͆͒̾͆̚l̸̥͈͊̍̑̎̂̎͆́͒ş̴͎̺̼̱̯͉̦̲̺̩̀̊̌͌̾̔̈́̕͠h̵̢̝́̚į̴̢̛͕̻̦͍̖̓̅̈́̿͑̓t̵͚̋̽̾͗̓̌͠ ̸̢̡̱̪̳͓͙̀͆́̂͂̿̂̔͝͝Ò̷̢̻͉͍̩͈͇͇̠ͅv̸̲̘͖̲̗͚͓̺͘͘e̶̙̗̮͔͗̆̌r̸̨͚̯̞̅̔̐̐ĺ̶̯̻̯̗̯͉̓̿͗͐̓o̶̲̬͈̩̺̘̻̱͗̒̐̀͌̓̿̀̈́͂̒r̴̠̹̺̙͋̀̾͊͒̾̚d̸̡̬̤͔̤̭̟̳̲͕̘̂͆,̸̰̦̳͔̘͎͕̫͎̖͔̌̋͗͠ ̶̢͙̗̇͜G̵̯̝͚̫̭̞̏̈͝į̵̤̖͍̞͙̩̌̇́̿͘ģ̴͓̝͇̀̈͌͜a̵̡̛̜͔͐̄̉̕m̴̨̯̼͖̼̬̠̳̭̎̒͘͘a̵̛̗̺̭̘̼̘͓̣̱͂͐̌͌͘͜s̷̥̲͉̐͘͜ć̵͙̳͉̐̓͆͝͠ư̵̫̹̇̎̇̉̋͜͠l̶̖͙̻̤̆̇i̵̡̻̮͍̯͎̤̐͊̄͌͝͝ͅn̷̹̯͔̚e̵̺͓̎͌̉̂͗͝͝ ̴͖̳̙͇͉̒̈́̽̎̏͛̉̚Ǔ̸̢̱͈̰̩̦̘̤̣̲̈́̾͐̒͋̕̚ļ̵̻͚͈̖̤́̈́͆͛̉̾̕͠ţ̸̨̠̦̲̮̲̦̱̺̔̓̅̂͑̄͗̐͒̈́r̴̤̟̫̮̓̈́ą̸͈̳̥̻͇̦͇̞̞̰̀̋̏͗̔̒̈́̈́͑͊͝c̸̟͓̻͚̠̙͚͊͌͊̍͜͜͜ͅh̸̛̞͉͙̩̘͒̿̓̈́̓̓̐̄̓͘a̸̢̢̰̲͓͇̯͕̼͇͉̽̏̃̔̈́̽͝d̵̹̯̲̮͓̙̎̈̏͛͆͝͠ͅ,̴̢̢̨̰̯̣̄̔̂͠ ̸͚͎̳̱̤̹̜̱̙̟̠̈́́̀̽T̴̢̛̮̼̭͕̘̺̉̾̈́̈́̏̐̓͌̚r̷̡̛̯̘̣̟͙̻̳͉̽͆̅͗̀̄͌͘͜ạ̴̊͐́̃̐̉ņ̵̢̤͔̪̽͝s̴̞͉͍̩̥̯͆͘͜c̴̛̘͍̟͈͓̻̦̪̲̍́̎̇͒̓͘ę̶̉̌̕͝ṅ̷̟͖͉̀̊͊ḑ̶͉͇̩̥̔̈́̓͒̓͒̑͝͝s̷̯͑̋̎͌̄̈͋̀̏̚͠ ̶̛͈̥̪̯̻́̌͋̊͋͌̉̕̚̕C̷̺̈̈̇̏̀͗̄̽ļ̷̠̼̙͖̜̮̖̺̾̂ͅà̵̧̗͍̭̣̺̤̙̮͌͌̈́́ͅs̷̟̖̦͕̤͈͎̼̹͈̰̈̏̔̾̈́̍̓ş̶̯̦̗̜̅̒ǐ̴̧͙̑̉f̵̲̖̙͚̣̻̝̭̙͊̓̀̄͠͠ĭ̸͙͎̮͍̗̝͚͉̗̰̤́̅͌͒̂͋̔̕͝c̵̡̡͔̝̳̾̄̈̾̆͝͝a̶̙͕̬̲̝͊̂̐̈̐̄̽̚͜ţ̵͉̯̠͍̳͉̃̉̓̀͒̀̐͝͝i̵̛͈͕̼̍ǒ̴͓͍͎̬͍̮̜͖̣̣́̿͌̀̉̕n̸̬̝̝̯̟͖̬͉̥̩͍̍͑̾͐͒̿̓͋́͠,̷̛̠̦͔̍̓̿̓ ̶̛̰͖̻̯̣̯̝̱͔͌͘̕͘B̴̧̗̦̳̱͛̄̈́̔͝e̵̲̺͓͎͚͋̔͐̀̊y̷̢̨̙̲͚̥̋̋͌̀̀̃̊̔̌͛̂o̷͙̝̩̘̮͓͋͜n̸̮͖̣̊͌̓̽̔̂̈́͜d̶̜͇͂̓̅̂̀͘͘ ̴̖̼͈̣̭̪̫͐͊̾͌̌̈́͌C̷̺̟̲͇͈̻̮̰͕̝͑̈̔̀̆̚̚͝l̵̲̮̈́͗̿̓̈̈́̈́̿͆͘͠ä̷̜́̿́̈͛͒̌̑̂͝s̴̰̗̯̭͕͖͈̈̽́̈́ŝ̴̛͕̞̣̦̰̘̹͖̣̒̀́͘͝͝͝i̷̡͔̹̜̮͉̪͕̮̓̐̀̍̄́͘f̷̫̥͚̳̘͎̳̂̒̑͛͑̓̐͝͝ì̶̘̙̙̬̤̹̚c̸̭͌̊͗̅̇́̈̇͌͆͝a̸̡̮͕͎̙̫̙̦̼̥͋t̸̨̧̹͍̦͖͇͍͔̓̀̀̆͘͠į̴̖̩̪̖͓̱̺͔̋͆́̀̅̒͂͜ó̶̟͉̞͔̠͙̤̎̃n̴̨̰͕͎̝̪̄̓́̅̽̆͝.̶̛͈͈̅͗̽͊̕̕.̵̤̝̌͛.̷̛̻̝̯̟͕̙͊̋͑̀̊̈́̈͛͆͝
Fantasy Race:	𝔹𝔼𝕐𝕆ℕ𝔻 𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ ℂ𝕆𝕄ℙℝ𝔼ℍ𝔼ℕ𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ (genetically anomalous; definitely not anything ever known in fiction) God Demon Human Goodman's Mouse Lemur Chincilla Bear Spider Starfish Pot-Bellied Pig Cactus Sand Spool of Copper Wire Wood Chips Sawdust Bird Guano And many, many, MANY more...
Ethnicity:	Mexican-German
Nationality:	Canadian (formerly; stateless)
Height:	6' 1¼" (1.86 m)
Weight:	So, you want to know my deep, dark secret?
Penis Size:	Approx. 69420 The Event Horizon of Numbers light years.
Handedness:	Right
Disorder(s):	Evil Autism Spectrum Disorder
Blood Type:	ΔY
Religion:	Irreligious (Atheist)
Alignment:	Chaotic Evil (𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂) (self-proclaimed)
Previous Residence(s):	Various! Got no fucking time to explain every single one!
Residencies:	legally Homeless
Education(s):	Clown University (expelled) Academy of Evil (expelled)
Previous Occupation(s):	Janitor Professional floor sweeper Conman Salesman Amateur musician Tap dancer Mercenary Artist Explosives expert Teacher Critic Toll keeper Clown Reporter Detective Tour guide Matador Bellboy Swami Writer Poet Blacksmith Baker Butcher Candlestick maker Lighthouse keeper Fisherman Deep-sea diver Astronaut Rocket engineer Game developer Librarian Historian Archaeologist Paleontologist Curator Tattoo artist Barber Hair stylist Makeup artist Fashion designer Tailor Shoe shiner Cobbler Locksmith Safecracker Government spy Bodyguard Security guard Night watchman Park ranger Zookeeper Animal trainer Dog walker Pet psychic Veterinarian Horse trainer Falconer C.E.O. Beekeeper Farmer Rancher Shepherd Lumberjack Carpenter Plumber Doctor Construction worker Electrician Welder Mechanic Auto racer Taxi driver Bus driver Train conductor Pilot Flight attendant Air traffic controller Pirate Ship captain Sailor Treasure hunter Archaeological diver Miner Gold prospector Oil rig worker Firefighter Crime scene cleaner Forensic analyst Coroner Mortician Funeral director Gravedigger Surgeon Nurse Pharmacist Dentist Orthodontist Psychologist Therapist Life coach Motivational speaker Philosopher Monk Cult leader Politician Diplomat Lawyer Judge Notary Accountant Auditor Banker Stockbroker Day trader Statistician Scientist Mathematician Chemist Physicist Biologist IT support technician Photographer Videographer Film director Screenwriter Actor Voice actor Comedian Circus performer Magician Illusionist Escape artist Stunt double Athlete Coach Referee Personal trainer Yoga instructor Nutritionist Chef Sous chef Line cook Food critic Bartender Barista Sommelier Brewer Distiller Waiter Butler Maid Dishwasher Hotel manager Concierge Housekeeper Event planner Wedding planner Florist Interior designer Architect Urban planner Surveyor Cartographer Meteorologist Storm chaser Conservationist Waste management worker Recycler Sanitation engineer Crossing guard Parking attendant Ticket inspector Carnival worker Game booth operator Toy maker Puppeteer Comic book artist Animator Sound engineer DJ Music producer Instrument maker Watchmaker Clock repairer Antique dealer Auctioneer Pawn shop owner Treasure appraiser Private investigator Military soldier Wilderness guide Scuba instructor Ski instructor Lifeguard Paranormal investigator Stripper Dog food taster Meme curator Snake milker Ice sculptor Dinner entrée And many, many, MANY more...
Occupation(s):	Unemployed Criminal (NEET)
Award(s):	Biggest Loser Award NOTHING ELSE (he's a loser)
Rizz:	NEGATIVE INFINITY (∞ Autism Rizz)
Signature:
Wokeness:	ERROR 404 (beyond deez nuts motherfucka!)
Social Credit:	🡇 -9,999,999,999,999,999
Criminal Record:	Abduction for the Pleasure of Violence Abduction of a Child Under the Age of 16 for Sex Abduction of a Child Under the Age of 6 for Sex Abduction of a Pregnant Woman to Rape and Murder Her Fetus Abduction or Detention for Sex Abortion Abusive Language (Law) Abuse of Power Accessibility of Records for Tax Department Additional Records for Taxation Administration of Drugs for Sex Affray Aggravated Animal Cruelty Aggravated Assault Aggravated Burglary Air Rage Allow Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying Anatomy Murder Animal Cruelty Armed Robbery Arson Arson Causing Death Assassination Attempts Assault Assault Occasioning Actual Bodily Harm Assault With Intent to Commit a Sexual Offence Assault With Intent to Rape Assault With Intent to Resist Arrest Assaulting or Resisting Police Assisting Offender Barratry Battery Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent Bestiality Big Assault Bigamy Bike Rage Blackmail Blasphemous Libel Blockbusting Body Snatching Bomb Hoaxes Bomb Threat Brainwashing People Using Cold War CIA Techniques Breach Alcohol Interlock Condition Breach of an Intervention Order Breach of Community Corrections Order Breach of the Peace Breaking Into People’s Houses Breaking the Laws of Physics Bribery Burglary Busting a nut to My Little Pony and then not cleaning up after himself Canned Hunt Capital Murder Car Chase Careless Driving Carry a Loaded Firearm in a Town, Populous Place, or Public Thoroughfare/Place Carry Out Plumbing Work Without Licence or Registration Carry Out Work Without a Building Permit Causing Death by Dangerous Driving Causing Injury Intentionally Causing Injury Recklessly Causing Serious Injury Intentionally in Circumstances of Gross Violence Causing Serious Injury Recklessly in Circumstances of Gross Violence Cheating Child Homicide Child Sex Trafficking Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts Common Assault Common Assault (Common Law) Compelling Sexual Penetration Compounding a Felony Consequences of Failing to Comply With Section 260A Conspiracy Conspiracy to Murder Contaminating Goods Causing Public Alarm or Economic Loss Contempt of Court Continuing Trespass Contravene Family Counselling Order Contravene Family Violence Intervention Order Contravene Family Violence Intervention Order Intending to Cause Harm or Fear Contravene Family Violence Safety Notice Convenience Store Crime Control of Body Armour Control of Use of Dangerous Articles Coney-Catching Corporate Criminal Responsibility for Offence Against Section 254 Corrupt Practices Corrupting Benefits Given To, or Received By, a Commonwealth Public Official Crimen Injuria Crimes Against All Living Beings Crimes Involving Radioactive Substances Criminal Conversion Criminal Damage in English Law Criminal Possession of a Weapon Creating Multiple Accounts on IMDb to Give The Hero of Color City 10/10 Scores Culpable and Reckless Conduct Culpable Driving Causing Death Cultivation of Narcotic Plants Cultivation of Narcotic Plants – Commercial Quantity Cultivation of Narcotic Plants – Large Commercial Quantity Dangerous Driving Dangerous Driving Causing Death or Serious Injury Dangerous Goods on Aircraft Dangerous Non-guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal – Person in Control Deadly Weapon Death Threats Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime Declaring War on Italy Delay Entry of Police Deliberately Omitting Information Democide Desertion Destroy, Damage or in Any Way Interfere With Any Works of a Water Corporation Destroying Alderaan in Many Universes in Creation 1977 Before the Empire Did Destroying or Damaging Property Destruction of an Entire City Destruction of an Entire Universe Just by Yelling His Name Destruction of Evidence Destruction of the Moon in Front of the Pope Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organisation Directors Must Give Information to Company Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property Dishonestly Cause a Loss Dishonestly Obtain a Financial Advantage (Centrelink Fraud) Disorderly Conduct Disposal of a Corpse With Intent to Obstruct or Prevent a Coroner’s Inquest Disturbing Religious Worship Disturbing the Peace Display “L” Plate Distribution of Intimate Image Dog Found at Large Between Sunrise and Sunset Dog Rushes at Person – Person in Control Drink Driving Exceed PCA Drive an Unregistered Vehicle Drive While Impaired By Drugs (Drug Driving) Driving a Motor Vehicle When Directed to Stop By Police Driving Disqualified Driving Under the Influence Driving Under the Influence of Intoxicating Liquor or of Any Drug Driving While Exceeding the Prescribed Concentration of Alcohol (49.1.f) Driving While Licence Suspended Under Infringements Act 2006 Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner Duty of Driver, etc. of Motor Vehicle If Accident Occurs Duty of Driver etc. of Vehicle That is Not a Motor Vehicle If Accident Occurs Duty of Owner of Motor Vehicle to Give Information About Driver Eating Children Eating Live Animals Eating People (Cannibalism) Edging in Public Embezzlement Embracery Employment Fraud Endangering Safe Operation of an Aircraft Endangering Safety of Aircraft Endangerment Enforced Suicide Enter Casino While Subject to an Exclusion Order Entering a Level Crossing When a Train or Tram is Approaching Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse Escaping From Lawful Custody Evasion of Liability by Deception Exceed PCA (49.1.G) Exceed Prescribed Concentration of Drugs Exceed Prescribed Concentration of Drugs (Drug Driving) (49.1.I) Existing Extortion Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property Extortion With Threats to Kill Facilitating a Sexual Offence Against a Child Fail to Apply to Register a Dog or Cat Fail to Comply With an Improvement Notice Fail to Comply With Emergency Order or Building Order Fail to Comply With Fire Prevention Notice Fail to Comply With Planning Scheme, Permit or Agreement Under s173 Fail to Ensure Ammunition is Carried/Used in a Secure Manner and is Not Lost/Stolen Fail to Notify Change of Address Fail to Report Accident to Police When Person Injured Fail to Report Accident to Police When Property Damaged Fail to Restrain Dangerous Dog Off the Owner’s Premises Fail to Store Category A or B Longarm Correctly Failure of Directors to Call General Meeting Failure of Responsible Entity to Call Meeting of the Scheme’s Members Failure to Answer Bail Failure to Answer Questions When Attending Before the Commissioner Failure to Appear Failure to Comply With Requirements Under Taxation Law Failure to Lodge Documents Failure to Obey a Police Order Failure to Vote at Any Election Without a Valid and Sufficient Excuse False Accounting False Imprisonment False or Misleading Information False Pretenses False Statements False Statements By Company Directors Falsification of Documents Falsifying or Concealing Identity Fear or Provocation of Violence Felony Fence (Criminal) Fetal Abduction Fi8aM Fishing Closures – Contravene a Prohibition Foot Snatcher Forcible Entry Forgery Forgery etc. of Documents and Identification Marks Forging Prescriptions and Orders for Drugs of Dependence Form of Record – English Language Frameup Fraud Frauds By Officers Furnish False or Misleading Information (Sex Offender Registry) General Duty of Driver or Person in Charge of Motor Vehicle Genocide Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organisation Getting High off Illegal Substances Ghosting (Identity Theft) Giving Alcohol to People Underage Giving False or Misleading Information to Tax Officers Going Equipped for Stealing Good Faith, Use of Position and Use of Information – Criminal Offences Grand Theft Auto Hair Theft Handling Stolen Goods Happy Slapping Hate Crimes Hazing Hit and Run Homicide Human Trafficking Identity Cleansing Illegal Drug Use Illegal Emigration Illegal Entry Illegal Immigration Illegal Telemarketing Impersonation Importing and Exporting Border Controlled Precursors Importing and Exporting Commercial Quantities of Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Improper Use of Motor Vehicle In 1997, in Reality 12-171781818822892918, Enrique and his Frenemy, FreakyBob, Were on the Run From the Federal Government and Switching States Every 2 Months for Illegally Producing Clinical Liposuctions to Organ Harvest Innocent Civilians Incest Inclusion of False or Misleading Information in Records Incurring of Certain Debts; Fraudulent Conduct Indecent Act in the Presence of a Child Under the Age of 16 Indecent Assault Indictable Offence Indemnifying Surety Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator etc. of Company Infanticide Insider Trading Insurance Fraud Intentionally Causing Serious Injury Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire Intentionally Visually Capture Another Person’s Genital or Anal Region Intimidation Interfere With Corpse of a Human Being Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person Involving a Child in the Production of Child Abuse Material Jaywalking Jury Tampering Kidnapping Leave Child Without Supervision or Care Leaving the Toilet Seat Up Lighting of Fires in the Open Air Lighting Open Air Fires Listed Company – Director to Notify Market Operator of Shareholdings etc. Loitering Loitering Near Schools Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence Making False Reports to Police etc. Malfeasance in Office Manslaughter Mass Brainwashing Mass Genocide Mass Murder Mass Omnicide Mass Rape Mass Torture Mass Vore (The Sexiest Kind of Vore) Material Personal Interest – Director’s Duty to Disclose Membership of a Terrorist Organisation Mega Rape Messing With His E-meat in Front of Minors Mismarking Misprision of Felony Misprision of Treason Mobbing Molesting a Minor Molesting Another Minor Mopery Motor Vehicle Theft Moving Violation Munting Murder Mutiny Necrophilia Needle Spiking Negligent Manslaughter Negligently Causing Serious Injury Non-dangerous Dog Attacks Notice to ASIC of Share Cancellation Notice to ASIC of Share Issue Obscene, Indecent, Threatening Language and Behaviour in Public Obsessive Relational Intrusion Obstruction of Commissioner or an Authorised Officer Obstruction of Commonwealth Public Officials Obstruction of Justice in the United States Obtain a Financial Advantage By Deception (Commonwealth) Obtaining a Money Transfer by Deception Obtaining Drugs of Dependence By False Representation Obtaining Financial Advantage By Deception Obtaining Licence etc. By False Statements Obtaining Pecuniary Advantage by Deception Obtaining Property by Deception Obtaining Property By Deception – Commonwealth Obtaining Services by Deception Occupational Crime Occupier Land Contravenes Planning Scheme Offence of Serious Racial Vilification Offence to Alter, Deface or Place Number on Engine of Motor Vehicle Offence to Commit an Indictable Offence Whilst on Bail Offence to Contravene Certain Conduct Conditions Offence to Drive High-Powered Vehicle Offence to Harass Witnesses etc. Offence to Obstruct etc. Person Operating Road Safety Camera or Speed Detector Offence to Procure Use of Motor Vehicle By Fraud Offence to Provide False or Misleading Information Offence to Sell Certain Breath Analysing Instruments Offences Against Court Security Offences Against Public Justice Offences By Officers of Certain Companies Offences Connected With Explosive Substances Offences for Failure to Comply With Statutory Duties Offences for Failure to Comply With Statutory Duties By Guarantor Offensive Behaviour By a Person in a Motor Vehicle in a Declared Area Offensive Weapon Omnicide Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts Outraging Public Decency Owner Land Fails to Comply With Any Planning Scheme Perfect Crime Period of Retention Perjury Persistent Contravention of Family Violence Intervention Order or Notices Persistent Sexual Abuse of a Child Under the Age of 16 Person Who is Not a Licensee Sell Liquor or Offer Liquor for Sale Personation of a Juror Persons Found Drunk and Disorderly Perverting the Course of Justice Pickpocketing Piracy Pissing on People Plagiarism Police Impersonation Polygamy Possess Cartridge Ammunition Possess More Fish Than the Catch Limit Possess More Than Twice Catch Limit of Abalone Possess Property Reasonably Suspected to be Stolen Possessing a Longarm Without License Possessing an Unregistered Longarm Possessing Certain Types of Handguns Possessing Controlled Drugs Possessing Controlled Precursors Possessing Controlled Weapon Possessing Housebreaking Implements Possessing Marketable Quantities of Unlawfully Imported Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Possessing Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks Possessing Traffickable Quantity of Unregistered Firearms Possessing Unlawfully Imported Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Possessing, Carrying or Using a Handgun Without a Licence (Non-prohibited Person) Possessing, Using, or Carrying an Unregistered Handgun Possession of a Drug of Dependence Possession of Child Abuse Material Possession of Child Pornography Possession of Data With Intent to Commit Serious Computer Offence Possession of Precursor Chemicals Possession of Stolen Goods Possession of Substance etc for Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence Possession of Tablet Press Posting Bills and Defacing Property Practicing Without a License Prank Calling Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body Probationary Driver – No “P” Plates Procuring a Sexual Act By Fraud Procuring a Sexual Act By Threat Producing, Supplying or Obtaining Data With Intent to Commit Serious Computer Offence Production of Child Pornography Prohibited Person Possessing Firearms Prohibited Weapons Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts Public Indecency Public Nuisance Public Nudity Purchasing 11 Items at a 10 Items or Less Counter at the Grocery Store Putting a Glory-hole in Every Public Restroom Racism Racism on a Continental Level Rape Rape on a Child Rape on a City Rape on a Mass Scale Rape on a Town Rape on a Whole Village Rape on Every World Leader Rape on the President Reckless Burning Reckless Conduct Endangering Life Reckless Conduct Endangering Serious Injury Recklessly Causing Serious Injury Recruiting for a Terrorist Organisation Refusal to Serve in a Public Office Refuse Breath Test – Drink Driving Refuse Drug Test – Drug Driving Refuse or Fail to State Name and Address Refuse to Give Blood or Urine Sample – Drink Driving Refuse to Provide Further Sample – Drink Driving Refuse to Provide Oral Fluid – Drink Driving Refuse to Stop Removing Article From Place Open to the Public Requirement to Keep Proper Records Resisting Arrest Rioters Demolishing Buildings Ritualcide Road Rage Robbery Robbery Sabotage Running a Red Light Sabotage Saying the N Word More Than 69,420 Lumitheritas Times Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986 Sedition Serial Killing Setting Fire to Aircraft Setting Traps to Kill Sex Offender Registry – Failing to Comply With Reporting Conditions Sexual Activity Directed at Another Person Sexual Assault Sexual Assault By Compelling Sexual Touching Sexual Exposure Sexual Offences – Persons With a Cognitive Impairment By Providers of Special Programs Sexual Offences Against Persons With a Cognitive Impairment By Doctors etc. Sexual Penetration of 16 or 17 Year Old Child Sexual Penetration of a Child Under the Age of 16 Sexual Servitude Sexualizing Minors Sexualizing Real People Without Their Consent Shoplifting Solicitation Soliciting to Murder Solicit for Prostitution in Public Place Speed Trials Staged Crash Stalking State False Address When Requested State False Name When Requested Store Firearm or Ammunition in an Insecure Manner Stouthrief Stowaway Subornation of Perjury Summary Offense Supplying Drugs to Children Supply Liquor in Breach of Licence Supply of Drug of Dependence to a Child Suppression of Documents Suppression of Free Speech Suppression of Human Rights Taking a Shit on the Qur'an (Sharia Law) Taking or Use Vehicle Without Owner’s Consent Taking the Biggest Shit in Existence in the Grand Canyon, Stinking the Earth so Much it Kills All Life in That Universe Tampering (Crime) Tampering or Interfering With Motor Vehicle Without Just Cause or Excuse Tax Evasion Tax Fraud Terrorism Terrorist Acts Terroristic Threat Theft Theft – Commonwealth Theft (State) Theft on the Last Slice of Cake at a Birthday Party Threatening Injury to Prevent Arrest Threatening to Contaminate Goods Threats to Destroy or Damage Property Threats to Inflict Serious Injury Threats to Kill Threats to Sabotage Threats to Safety of Aircraft Threat to Commit Sexual Offence Threat to Destroy a Civilisation Threat to Distribute Intimate Image Touching Minors Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence to a Child Trafficking in a Drug or Drugs of Dependence – Commercial Quantity Trafficking in a Drug or Drugs of Dependence – Large Commercial Quantity Treachery (Law) Trespassing Ultra Mega Rape Unauthorised Access to or Modification of Restricted Data Unauthorised Access, Modification or Impairment With Intent to Commit a Serious Offence Unauthorised Impairment of Data Held in Computer Disk, Credit Card or Other Device Unauthorised Impairment of Electronic Communication – Commonwealth Unauthorised Impairment of Electronic Communication – State Unauthorised Modification of Data to Cause Impairment – Commonwealth Unauthorised Modification of Data to Cause Impairment – State Unlawful Assembly Unlawful Claim to a 3 Year Old Child Unlawful Invasion of Multiple Countries, Including France and the United Kingdom Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason, Murder etc. Unlawfully Take, Use or Divert Water Unlawfully Taking Control of an Aircraft Unlicensed Broadcasting Unlicensed Driving Unlicensed Own Category A or B Longarm Unlicensed Own Category C or D Longarm or Handgun Use of a Drug of Dependence Use or Possess Abalone Equipment to Exceed More Than Twice Catch Limit Using Firearms to Resist Arrest Using of Firearms in the Commission of Offences Uttering Valet Boy Vandalism Vehicular Manslaughter Violence Violating Fourteen International Peace Agreements Violent Disorder Violently Aggressive Flashing Wanting to Be in the Epstein Files War Crimes Wilful Damage Wilfully Destroying Records Witness Tampering Workplace Assault Workplace Flashing Workplace Kidnapping Workplace Manslaughter Workplace Rape Wreckless Driving And many, many, MANY more...
Kill Count:	Uncountable
Bounty:	999,999,999,999 Morbillion
Status:	Alive (Wanted) (and always will be)
Characteristic Traits
Personality:	06% Agreeableness — Low 01% Conscientiousness — Low 50% Extroversion — Mid 95% Neuroticism — High 90% Openness — High
MBTI:	FEET-A
Accent	General American English (GenAm)
Flaws:	EVERYTHING Extremely Wrathful Very Gluttonous Stingingly Greedy Overly Envious Extraordinarily Slothful 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓵𝔂 Lustful Tremendously Prideful
Interest(s):	Villainy: Committing arson. Blowing up shit. Causing chaos. Being a clown 🤡 Nutting to clown girls. Gooning to clussy. Being a contrarian. Breaking the law. Destroying stuff. Causing disharmony. Spreading disorder across universes. Looking at ducks. Eating shit. Being evil. Being an asshole. Being a jerk. Being the most unlikable person imaginable. trying free samples in Costco. Spreading misery. Killing people. Listening to banger music for high I.Q. individuals like himself. Murdering people. Playing pickleball Ragebaiting normies. Terrorizing nations. Torturing people. Trolling NPCs. Being a minion/henchman/goon. Hurting people. Being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. And many, many, MANY more...
Likes:	Evil , Bad, and Illegal things: Arson Bombs (EXPLOSIONS!) Chaos Clowns Clowngirls Clussy Contrarianism Crime Cunny Destruction Disharmony Disorder Ducks Dung Evil Free Samples Lolis Misery Murder Kidz Bop Killing Pickleball Ragebaiting Terrorism Torture Trolling Villainy Violence 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓲𝓼𝓶 And many, many, MANY more...
Dislikes:	EVERYTHING (especially things that are legal and good)
Fears:	EVERYTHING
Social Class:	Vilain (Poor AF)
Communication Style:	Aggressive
Humor Style:	Aggressive
Political Views:	Libertarian-Left
Fighting Style(s):	Jack-of-all-Stats
Paraphernalia:	Jack-of-all-Trades
Vehicle(s):	MUAHAHAHAHA! Got no damn time to list every single one; rather kill myself bitch!
Attribute(s):	Accelerated Healing Acid Generation Air Manipulation Animal Communication Animal Mimicry Astral Projection Atmokinesis Aura Reading Biokinesis Bone Manipulation Camouflage Chlorokinesis Clairvoyance Cloning Cryokinesis Darkness Manipulation Density Control Duplication Earth Manipulation Elasticity Electrokinesis Elemental Manipulation Empathy Energy Absorption Energy Blasts Enhanced Agility Enhanced Durability Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Senses Enhanced Smell Enhanced Speed Enhanced Strength Enhanced Vision Fire Manipulation Flight Force Field Generation Geokinesis Gravity Manipulation Healing Factor Heat Vision Hydrokinesis Hypnosis Ice Manipulation Illusion Casting Immortality Invisibility Invulnerability Light Manipulation Lightning Manipulation Magnetism Manipulation Mind Control Molecular Manipulation Necromancy Omnilingualism Photokinesis Plant Manipulation Poison Generation Precognition Psychokinesis Pyrokinesis Reality Warping Regeneration Shapeshifting Size Alteration Sonic Scream Super Breath Super Speed Super Strength Technopathy Telekinesis Telepathy Teleportation Toon Force Time Manipulation Wallcrawling Water Manipulation Weather Manipulation X-Ray Vision Zoopathy Adaptive Evolution Age Manipulation Animal Empathy Animal Imitation Animation Anti-Magic Apocalyptic Artillery Archetype Empowerment Artistic Arts Astral Projection Attack Powers Aura Generation Authority Manipulation Aversion Field Aversion Manipulation Badminton Mastery Baseball Mastery Basketball Mastery Behavior Manipulation Bell Manipulation Bioluminescence Biome Manipulation Biomechanical Manipulation Biomechanical Physiology Biotic Manipulation Blood Manipulation Bone Magic Boxing Mastery Brawling Mastery Bullet Hell Chain Manipulation Clairvoyance Clear Mind Cloth Manipulation Comfort Manipulation Composite Fairy Mode Condition Manipulation Concussive Force Cooking Manipulation Cosmic Manipulation Damage Removal Dance Manipulation Dark Arts Darkness Manipulation Death Manipulation Desert Manipulation Device Manipulation Dimensional Manipulation Dimensional Travel Disease Immunity Divination Door Manipulation Dream Manipulation Duplication Earth Manipulation Echolocation Elasticity Eldritch Physiology Elemental Manipulation Emotion Manipulation Empathic Mimicry Empathy Energy Absorption Energy Armor Energy Attacks Energy Blasts Energy Constructs Energy Embodiment Energy Manipulation Energy Projection Enhanced Archery Enhanced Charisma Enhanced Combat Mastery Enhanced Creativity Enhanced Dexterity Enhanced Gunmanship Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Memory Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Senses Enhanced Sight Enhanced Smell Enhanced Speed Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Strength Enhanced Swordsmanship Enhanced Thievery Enhanced Touch Enhanced Vision Entropy Projection Environmental Constructs Existence Erasure Existence Erasure Resistance Exorcism Explosion Manipulation Extrasensory Perception Faerification Fear Inducement Fear Immunity Fear Manipulation Fencing Mastery Fire Control Fire Manipulation Fire Resistance Flight Focused Shockblast Food Manipulation Force Fields Force Ghost Force Manipulation Forest Manipulation Form Manipulation Fourth Wall Awareness Fruit/Vegetable Manipulation Furniture Manipulation Fusion Galaxy Manipulation Gamma Mutant Physiology Gestalt Soul Gliding Godly Physiology Golf Mastery Gravity Control Gravity Manipulation Greed Inducement Grim Reaping Gun Kata Hair Manipulation Healing Touch Health Manipulation Heat Generation Heat Resistance Hellfire Manipulation Hellfire Resistance Higher Dimensional Manipulation Holographic Projection Holy Manipulation Holy Resistance Homing Attack Hope Inducement Hyper Awareness Hypercognition Hyperkinesis Hypnokinesis Hypnosis Ice Manipulation Illumination Illusions Immortality Immortality Bypassing Indestructible Digestion Indomitable Will Information Analysis Information Manipulation Insanity Instant Transmission Instinctive Reaction Intangibility Intelligence Hyper Intelligence Internal Bodily Cleansing Interstellar Travel Intuitive Aptitude Invisibility Invulnerability Jump Katana Proficiency Karate Mastery Kung Fu Mastery Lantern Power Ring Latent Abilities Law Manipulation Levitation Life Manipulation Light Control Light Manipulation Lightning Manipulation Liquid Transmutation Literary Manipulation Longevity Love Inducement Magic Magic Manipulation Magic Staff Magnet Manipulation Magnetism Manipulation Mana Manipulation Martial Arts Mastery Matter Absorption Media Manipulation Memory Manipulation Mental Manipulation Meta-Learning Methane Manipulation Mind Control Mind Reading Mode Switching Molecular Combustion Molecular Manipulation Multitasking Multiversal Manipulation Multiversal Travel Music Manipulation Musical Instrument Manipulation Mythic Physiology Nanite Manipulation Nature Manipulation Necromancy Ninja Magic Ninjutsu Mastery Ninpo Arts Nitrogen Manipulation Object Mimicry Occultism Ocean Manipulation Omnipotence Omnipresence Omniscience Omnilingualism Omniverse Manipulation Oxygen Manipulation Panmnesia Parasite Manipulation Performance Art Manipulation Persona Manipulation Personality Manipulation Personal Mastery Phasing Photographic Memory Photokinesis Physical Augmentation Physics Manipulation Plant Manipulation Planeswalking Plasma Manipulation Plot Manipulation Pocket Dimension Creation Poetry Manipulation Portal Creation Portal Manipulation Power Absorption Power Bestowal Power Detection Power Mimicry Power Mimicry Negation Power Negation Precognition Precognition Manipulation Psychic Camouflage Psychic Constructs Psychic Energy Constructs Psychic Surgery Psychokinesis Psychometry Pyrokinesis Reality Anchoring Reality Warping Reactive Adaptation Regenerative Healing Factor Regenerative Replication Replication Regeneration Riders Aptitude Robotic Manipulation Rock Climbing Mastery Sand Magic Sands of Time Manipulation Scalar Wave Manipulation Self-Resurrection Self-Restoration Self-Sustenance Sensory Manipulation Shapeshifting Size Alteration Size Manipulation Slash Projection Snow Manipulation Solar Manipulation Sonic Scream Soul Absorption Soul Destruction Soul Manipulation Soul Staring Soul-Bound Laser Weaponry Creation Sound Manipulation Spatial Manipulation Spell Casting Spiritual Force Manipulation Stage Play Manipulation State of Mind Status Manipulation Stellar Manipulation Strong Soul Super Agility Super Breath Super Durability Super Intelligence Super Speed Super Strength Supernatural Longevity Supernatural Manipulation Swimming Mastery Swordstick Proficiency Tactical Analysis Tar Mimicry Technology Manipulation Telekinesis Telepathic Camouflage Telepathy Teleportation Tennis Mastery Temporal Loop Creation Temporal Manipulation Temporal Protection Temporal Singularity Thread Manipulation Time Acceleration Time Boundary Time Manipulation Time Stop Time Travel Timeline Memory Retainment Tranquil State Transformation Trap Manipulation Transcendent Physiology Unpressurized Interaction Universal Manipulation Vehicle Manipulation Vibration Attacks Vibration Manipulation Video Manipulation Virtual Warping Volcanic Fields Manipulation Vortex Creation Wallcrawling Weather Control Weather Manipulation Weapon Manipulation White Arts Will-O'-The-Wisp Physiology Window Manipulation Witchcraft Wrestling Mastery X-Ray Vision Zoolingualism Power Nullification Resistance Negation Durability Negation Negation Manipulation Omni-Negation Negation Immunity Superpower Negation Absolute Superpower Negation Age Negation Affinity Negation Anomalous Nullification Attack Cancellation Elemental Negation Energy Negation Projectile Negation Attribute Negation Avatar Negation Aversion Negation Balance Negation Ballistics Negation Barrier Negation Beginning Negation Bone Structure Negation Burn Negation Causality Negation Consequence Negation Event Negation Change Negation Chaos Negation Conclusion Negation Conversion Negation Counter Rotation Creation Negation Curse Negation Damage Negation Death Negation Defense Cancellation Destiny Negation Destruction Negation Digital Negation Dream Negation Disaster Negation Dodge Negation Effect Negation Effectiveness Negation Explosive Negation Field Negation Friction Negation Fusion Negation Gravity Negation Growth Negation Habit Negation Incomprehension Negation Infinity Negation Instinct Negation Intelligence Negation Interaction Negation Launch Negation Logic Negation Coincidence Nullification Justice Negation Material Strength Negation Mathematics Negation Memory Loss Negation Momentum Negation Negation Countering Nerve Negation Object Negation Opportunity Negation Order Negation Pain Negation Past Negation Pattern Negation Perception Negation Personality Negation Physical Negation Possibility Negation Power Negation Purpose Negation Reality Negation Reaction Negation Reasoning Negation Reflex Negation Regeneration Negation Reincarnation Negation Relationship Negation Resistance Negation Rule Negation Sensation Negation Sentience Negation Skill Negation Soul Negation Speed Negation Stability Negation Strength Negation Structure Negation Success Negation Support Negation Survival Negation Symmetry Negation Talent Negation Targeting Negation Technology Negation Teleportation Negation Temperature Negation Thought Negation Time Negation Touch Negation Trajectory Negation Transformation Negation Truth Negation Understanding Negation Unity Negation Vision Negation Order Negation Pain Negation Past Negation Pattern Negation Perception Negation Personality Negation Physical Negation Possibility Negation Power Negation Purpose Negation Reality Negation Reaction Negation Reasoning Negation Reflex Negation Regeneration Negation Reincarnation Negation Relationship Negation Resistance Negation Rule Negation Sensation Negation Sentience Negation Skill Negation Soul Negation Speed Negation Stability Negation Strength Negation Structure Negation Success Negation Support Negation Survival Negation Symmetry Negation Talent Negation Targeting Negation Technology Negation Teleportation Negation Temperature Negation Thought Negation Time Negation Touch Negation Trajectory Negation Transformation Negation Truth Negation Understanding Negation Unity Negation Vision Negation Voice Negation Vulnerability Negation Weakness Negation Weight Negation Willpower Negation Wound Negation Zero Negation Absolute Absorption Absolute Access Absolute Adaptation Absolute Army Manipulation Absolute Arts Absolute Banishment Absolute Bio-Energetic Sourcing Absolute Bomb Generation Absolute Buying Absolute Change Absolute Character Creation Absolute Character Erasure Absolute Chi Absolute Combative Incapacity Absolute Command Absolute Constant Rest Absolute Constant Velocity Absolute Contract Absolute Cosmic Absorption Absolute Counter Absolute Crafting Absolute Darkness Absolute Death Inducement Absolute Death Manipulation Absolute Death-Force Manipulation Absolute Decay Absolute Derivation Absolute Destruction Absolute Directional Shift Absolute Directionality Absolute Domination Absolute Electricity Absorption Absolute Electromagnetic Absorption Absolute Embodiment Absolute Emotions Absolute Energy Absorption Absolute Erasure Absolute Escape Absolute Event Manipulation Absolute Explosion Absolute Expulsion Absolute Filtration Absolute Fusion Absolute Gamma Absorption Absolute Growth Inducement Absolute Heat Absorption Absolute Hot Inducement Absolute Illusion Absolute Immunity Bypassing Absolute Insanity Inducement Absolute Invincibility Absolute Ionic Absorption Absolute Kinetic Absorption Absolute Law Erasure Absolute Law Manipulation Absolute Learning Absolute Life Creation Absolute Life Inducement Absolute Life Manipulation Absolute Life-Force Manipulation Absolute Light Absolute Light Absorption Absolute Lock Manipulation Absolute Magnetization Absolute Manipulation Absolute Melting Absolute Mobility Absolute Music Manipulation Absolute Nuclear Absorption Absolute Perspective Manipulation Absolute Physical Law Manipulation Absolute Piercing Absolute Power Derivation Absolute Quantum Absorption Absolute Radiation Absorption Absolute Ranged Weaponry Absolute Recreation Absolute Restoration Absolute Revolution Absolute Rotation Absolute Separation Absolute Setting Creation Absolute Shield Construction Absolute Silence Manipulation Absolute Slicing Absolute Solar Absorption Absolute Soul Manipulation Absolute Sound Absorption Absolute Sound Manipulation Absolute Speed Flight Absolute Spirituality Absolute Stellar Absorption Absolute Stench Absolute Storage Absolute Stride Absolute Summoning Absolute Superpower Opposition Absolute Technology Manipulation Absolute Thermic Absorption Absolute Transcendence Absolute Transmutation Absolute Turning Absolute Unpredictability Absolute Variable Manipulation Absolute Vector Manipulation Absolute Wave Absorption Absolute Will Absolute Wish Absolute Zero Inducement Absolute Superpower Manipulation Absolute Superpower Creation Absolute Invulnerability Absolute Condition Absolute Inner Power Absolute Learning Enhanced Strength Enhanced Speed Enhanced Agility Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Durability Enhanced Senses Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Vision Enhanced Smell Enhanced Taste Enhanced Touch Enhanced Intelligence Enhanced Memory Enhanced Learning Enhanced Creativity Enhanced Charisma Enhanced Willpower Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Flexibility Enhanced Balance Enhanced Coordination Enhanced Immunity Enhanced Healing Enhanced Metabolism Enhanced Lung Capacity Enhanced Bone Density Enhanced Muscle Mass Enhanced Pain Tolerance Enhanced Reaction Time Enhanced Jumping Enhanced Swimming Enhanced Climbing Enhanced Digestion Enhanced Night Vision Enhanced Focus Enhanced Perception Enhanced Awareness Enhanced Intuition Enhanced Empathy Enhanced Instincts Enhanced Accuracy Enhanced Dexterity Enhanced Stealth Enhanced Camouflage Enhanced Tracking Enhanced Hunting Enhanced Combat Skills Enhanced Weapon Proficiency Enhanced Marksmanship Enhanced Swordsmanship Enhanced Archery Enhanced Martial Arts Enhanced Strategy Enhanced Tactics Enhanced Leadership Enhanced Negotiation Enhanced Persuasion Enhanced Multitasking Enhanced Calculation Enhanced Analysis Enhanced Prediction Enhanced Adaptation Enhanced Resistance Enhanced Resilience Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Vitality Enhanced Energy Enhanced Aura Enhanced Chi Enhanced Mana Enhanced Ki Enhanced Spirit Enhanced Soul Enhanced Mind Enhanced Body Enhanced Heart Enhanced Blood Enhanced Cells Enhanced DNA Enhanced Genes Enhanced Evolution Enhanced Growth Enhanced Development Enhanced Potential Enhanced Abilities Enhanced Powers Enhanced Skills Enhanced Techniques Enhanced Talents Chrono-Milk Transfusion Sentient Shadow Braiding Echo-Pulse Bursting Quantum Laughter Induction Dreamstatic Surfing Hyper-Spleen Regeneration Existential Paper Folding Paradoxical Sneezing Emotion Thread Weaving Sub-Thought Grenading Pancake Aura Summoning Reverse Gravity Blinking Whisper Armor Casting Turbo Moss Generation Memory Salt Alchemy Unreality Juggling Void Pocket Gardening Laughter-Fueled Combustion Celestial Elbow Expansion Neon Moth Projection Foresight Static Charging Skeleton Recital Emission Mood-Based Telefragging Holographic Saltwalking Recursive Ink Dripping Recursive Duplicant Breathing Spatial Origami Detonation Hyperbolic Emotion Slinging Ethereal Toothpaste Manifestation Lucid Inkflight Instant Regret Transfer Banana-Phase Cloaking Scream Refraction Absurdity Field Generation Irony Condensation Mirror-Mind Displacement Toothache Telepathy Recursive Hat Layering Fiction Density Manipulation Sneak Velocity Amplification Echo-Bubble Armor Bone Wi-Fi Broadcasting Tesseract Stomach Compression Personal Raincloud Inversion Kaleidoscope Phasewalking Infinite Yawn Transmission Scent Displacement Anchoring Butter Slip Teleportation Temporal Wink Shattering Glowstick Essence Infusion Ultra-Detour Conjuration Sentiment Overclocking Implausibility Pulsecasting Sock-Based Divination Haiku-Powered Levitation Yeetwave Projection Snacktime Acceleration Field Ghost Beard Simulation Alternate Timeline Snoring Microwave Empathy Surge Melancholy Brick Throwing Laser Giggle Channeling Polka-Dot Reality Bending Sudden Cow Appearance Reverse-Boredom Emission Infinite Typo Immunity Elastic Memory Archiving Tinfoil Fortune Wielding Spontaneous Rhythm Bleeding Sandstorm Mood Sculpting Recursive Duck Summoning Dissonance Sculpting Spectral Soup Activation Aesthetic Critical Mass Wormhole Skipping Stones Onion Aura Retaliation Cardboard Soul Coating Emergency Confetti Deployment Nap-Based Hyperdrive Bubblewrap Prophecy Microwave Spacetime Bending Sudden Existential Acrobatics Cursed Coffee Vision Telepathic Pogoing Platonic Friendzone Manipulation Cosmic Shrug Emission Unread Notification Burst Pizza-Time Slicing Unreliable Laser Sneeze Quantum Meh Field Dimensional Shrug Evasion Existential Meowcasting Memory-Eraser Confetti Cheeseburger Telekinesis Interdimensional Déjà Vu Echo Nightmare Karaoke Summoning Tactical Awkwardness Projection Reversible Cause-and-Effect Displacement Duck-Based Clone Disorientation Cosmic Dad Joke Summoning Enhanced Capabilities Enhanced Attributes Enhanced Traits Enhanced Qualities Enhanced Features Enhanced Characteristics Enhanced Aspects Enhanced Elements Enhanced Components Enhanced Factors Enhanced Variables Enhanced Parameters Enhanced Metrics Enhanced Standards Enhanced Benchmarks Enhanced Criteria Enhanced Measures Enhanced Scales Enhanced Levels Enhanced Degrees Enhanced Intensities Enhanced Magnitudes Enhanced Extents Enhanced Ranges Enhanced Spectrums Enhanced Frequencies Enhanced Vibrations Enhanced Waves Enhanced Patterns Enhanced Structures Enhanced Systems Enhanced Networks Enhanced Connections Enhanced Links Enhanced Bonds Enhanced Relations Enhanced Interactions Enhanced Communications Enhanced Signals Enhanced Messages Enhanced Information Enhanced Data Enhanced Knowledge Enhanced Understanding Enhanced Wisdom Enhanced Insight Enhanced Foresight Enhanced Vision Enhanced Clarity Enhanced Focus Enhanced Concentration Enhanced Attention Enhanced Awareness Enhanced Consciousness Enhanced Subconsciousness Enhanced Unconsciousness Enhanced Perception Enhanced Observation Enhanced Recognition Enhanced Identification Enhanced Detection Enhanced Sensing Enhanced Feeling Enhanced Intuition Enhanced Instinct Enhanced Gut Feeling Enhanced Hunch Enhanced Suspicion Enhanced Notion Enhanced Idea Enhanced Thought Enhanced Concept Enhanced Theory Enhanced Hypothesis Enhanced Assumption Enhanced Belief Enhanced Opinion Enhanced View Enhanced Perspective Enhanced Outlook Enhanced Attitude Enhanced Approach Enhanced Strategy Enhanced Plan Enhanced Scheme Enhanced Tactic Enhanced Method Enhanced Technique Enhanced Procedure Enhanced Process Enhanced Operation Enhanced Function Enhanced Performance Enhanced Efficiency Enhanced Effectiveness Enhanced Productivity Enhanced Output Enhanced Result Enhanced Outcome Enhanced Achievement Enhanced Success Enhanced Victory Enhanced Triumph Enhanced Win Enhanced Gain Enhanced Benefit Enhanced Advantage Enhanced Edge Enhanced Lead Enhanced Superiority Enhanced Dominance Enhanced Control Enhanced Power Enhanced Strength Enhanced Force Enhanced Might Enhanced Energy Enhanced Drive Enhanced Motivation Enhanced Determination Enhanced Resolve Enhanced Tenacity Enhanced Perseverance Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Vitality Enhanced Vigor Enhanced Robustness Enhanced Toughness Enhanced Hardiness Enhanced Resilience Enhanced Resistance Enhanced Immunity Enhanced Defense Enhanced Protection Enhanced Shielding Enhanced Guarding Enhanced Safeguarding Enhanced Preservation Enhanced Maintenance Enhanced Sustenance Enhanced Nourishment Enhanced Support Enhanced Assistance Enhanced Aid Enhanced Help Enhanced Backup Enhanced Reinforcement Enhanced Supplement Enhanced Addition Enhanced Inclusion Enhanced Incorporation Enhanced Integration Enhanced Combination Enhanced Fusion Enhanced Union Enhanced Merger Enhanced Blending Enhanced Mixing Enhanced Amalgamation Enhanced Synthesis Enhanced Creation Enhanced Generation Enhanced Production Enhanced Construction Enhanced Building Enhanced Formation Enhanced Development Enhanced Expansion Enhanced Growth Enhanced Increase Enhanced Amplification Enhanced Intensification Enhanced Escalation Enhanced Elevation Enhanced Promotion Enhanced Advancement Enhanced Progression Enhanced Evolution Enhanced Transformation Enhanced Metamorphosis Enhanced Transmutation Enhanced Transfiguration Enhanced Alteration Enhanced Modification Enhanced Adjustment Enhanced Calibration Enhanced Tuning Enhanced Optimization Enhanced Refinement Enhanced Improvement Enhanced Enhancement Absolute Existence Manipulation Non-Existence Manipulation True Infinity True Memepotence True Chuckpotence True Shaggypotence True Solospotence True Soloerpotence True Shitfinity True Fuckinfinity True Assholefinity True Bitchfinity True Crapfinity True Bastardfinity True Dickfinity True Cuntfinity True Fuckboyfinity True Douchefinity True Wtf#finity True Shitfuckfinity True Cockfinity True Pissfinity True Damnfinity True Shitstormfinity True Fuckeryfinity True Bitchslapfinity True Lolfuckfinity True Spamfinity True WTF∞finity True X!@#finity True Shitpotence True Fuckpotence True Assholepotence True Bitchpotence True Crapopotence True Bastardpotence True Dickpotence True Cuntpotence True Fuckboypotence True Douchepotence True Wtf#potence True Shitfuckpotence True Cockpotence True Pisspotence True Damnpotence True Shitstormpotence True Fuckerypotence True Bitchslappotence True Lolfuckpotence True Spamopotence True WTF∞potence True X!@#potence True Shitfuckinfinity True Bitch#crapfinity True Douchepotence True Shitfuck∞potency True Asshole#∞potence True Wtf$!#finity True Crap&bastardfinity True Dick*#potence True ∞bitchpotency True Spam#fuckfinity True Cock&shitpotence True Damn∞finity True Lolfuck@potence True Bitchslap#∞finity True WTF#&$∞potence True X!@#shitpotency∞ True Shitpotency123 True Crap#fuckpotence And many, many, MANY more...
Favourite Food(s):	Uuuhh... I forgor 💀
Favourite Drink(s):	Uh... I also forgor 💀
Favourite Animal(s):	🦆 Ducks 🦆
Favourite Musician(s):	Uuuhh... I forgor (again) ☠️
Favourite Movie(s):	Uh... I also forgor (again) ☠️
Steak:	SUPER BROWN! (like poop 💩)
Virtue(s):	Slightly Patient (occasionally) Slightly Temperate (occasionally) Slightly Charitable (occasionally) Slightly Chaste (occasionally) Slightly Kind (occasionally) Slightly Diligent (occasionally) Slightly Humble (occasionally)
Phobia(s):	Thanatophobia Entomophobia Podophobia Phonophobia Globophobia And many, many, MANY more...
Dream(s):	⠀⠀⠀Sunnyland
Physical Appearance
Complexion:	Very Pale Orange
Hair Colour:	Brown
Eye Colour:	Brown
Aura Colour:	Dark Green
Familial Information
Wives:	73 Unnamed Deceased Ex-Wives
Relationship Statuses
Friend(s):	His Bestie (BFF4eva) approx. 25% of all characters within the entirety of all fiction and the Omniverse (Occasionally; Frenemies) THAT'S IT! NO ONE ELSE! A TRUE VILLAIN NEVER HAS FRIENDS MUAHAHAHA!!1! >:)
Employer(s):	Too fucking many for me to even try to count! approx. 25% of all villains within the entirety of all fiction.
Previous Affiliation(s):	Also too fucking many for me to even try to count!! approx. 25% of all teams/groups within the entirety of all fiction (bad and good)
Affiliation(s):	People Who Have No Idea What The Fuck Is Going On
Enemies:	99% of all life within the entirety of all fiction and the Omniverse Yeah, yeah... You get it! I'm not very liked amongst all realities >:(
Contacts & Social Media
	xXxLover666xXx

“

“ꍏ꒒꒒ ꅏꂦꋪ꒒ꀸꌗ ꍏꋪꍟ ꂵꀤꈤꍟ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꉓꍟꈤ꓄ꋪꍟ ꂦꎇ ꍏ꒒꒒ ꀎꈤꀤꃴꍟꋪꌗꍟꌗ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꍏ꒒ꉣꃅꍏ ꍏꈤꀸ ꂦꂵꍟꁅꍏ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꍏꈤꉓꃅꂦꋪ ꂦꎇ ꍟꃴꍟꋪꌩ ꍟꊼꀤꌗ꓄ꍟꈤꉓꍟ ꓄ꃅꍏ꓄ ꃅꍏꌗ ꍏꈤꀸ ꅏꀤ꒒꒒ ꍟꃴꍟꋪ ꍟꊼꀤꌗ꓄ ꓄ꃅꀤꌗ ꀤꌗ ꍏ꒒꒒ ꌗꀤꂵꉣ꒒ꌩ ꀭꀎꌗ꓄ ꍏ ꀸꋪꍟꍏꂵ ꓄ꃅꍏ꓄ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꀤꈤ ꍏ ꒒ꂦꈤꁅ ꒒ꂦꈤꁅ ꒒ꂦꈤꁅ ꀸꋪꍟꍏꂵ ꅏꀤ꓄ꃅ ꈤꂦ ꍟꈤꀸ ꓄ꂦ ꌗꍟꍟ ꌗꂦ ꅏꃅꍏ꓄ ꅏꀤ꒒꒒ ꃅꍏꉣꉣꍟꈤ ꀤꎇ ꀤ ꀸꀤꍟ ꀤ ꀸꂦꈤ꓄ ꀘꈤꂦꅏ ꃅꂦꈤꍟꌗ꓄꒒ꌩ ꀤ ꉓꍏꈤ꓄ ꍟꃴꍟꈤ ꎇꍏ꓄ꃅꂦꂵ ꅏꃅꍏ꓄ ꅏꂦꀎ꒒ꀸ ꃅꍏꉣꉣꍟꈤ ꀤꎇ ꌗꀎꉓꃅ ꍏ ꓄ꃅꀤꈤꁅ ꅏꍟꋪꍟ ꓄ꂦ ꂦꉓꉓꀎꋪ ꀤ ꁅꀎꍟꌗꌗ ꀤ ꀭꀎꌗ꓄ ꀸꂦꈤ꓄ ꃅꍏꃴꍟ ꍏ ꃴꍟꋪꌩ ꁅꂦꂦꀸ ꀤꂵꍏꁅꀤꈤꍏ꓄ꀤꂦꈤ ꀤ ꀭꀎꌗ꓄ ꉓꍏꈤ꓄ ꀤꂵꍏꁅꀤꈤꍟ ꂵꌩꌗꍟ꒒ꎇ ꍟꃴꍟꋪ ꀸꌩꀤꈤꁅ ꀤ꓄ ꀤꌗ ꂵꍟ꓄ꍏꉣꃅꌩꌗꀤꉓꍏ꒒꒒ꌩ ꀤꈤꉓꂦꂵꉣꋪꍟꃅꍟꈤꌗꀤꌃ꒒ꍟ ꓄ꂦ ꂵꍟ ꀤꈤ ꂦ꓄ꃅꍟꋪ ꅏꂦꋪꀸꌗ ꀤꎇ ꀤ ꀸꀤꍟ ꓄ꃅꍟꈤ ꍟꃴꍟꋪꌩꂦꈤꍟ ꅏꀤ꒒꒒ ꀸꀤꌗꍏꉣꉣꍟꍏꋪ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꂦꈤ꒒ꌩ ꂦꈤꍟ ꀤꈤ ꍏ꒒꒒ ꋪꍟꍏ꒒ꀤ꓄ꀤꍟꌗ ꅏꃅꂦ ꓄ꋪꀎ꒒ꌩ ꍟꊼꀤꌗ꓄ꌗ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꋪꍟꌗ꓄ ꂦꎇ ꌩꂦꀎ ꍏ꒒꒒ ꍏꋪꍟ ꌗꀤꂵꉣ꒒ꌩ ꀭꀎꌗ꓄ ꎇꀤꁅꂵꍟꈤ꓄ꌗ ꂦꎇ ꂵꌩ ꂦꅏꈤ ꂵꀤꈤꀸ ꓄ꃅꀤꌗ ꀤꌗ ꍏ꒒꒒ ꀭꀎꌗ꓄ ꍏ ꌗ꓄ꂦꋪꌩ ꉣ꒒ꍏꌩꀤꈤꁅ ꂦꀎ꓄ ꀤꈤ ꂵꌩ ꃅꍟꍏꀸ ꓄ꃅꍏ꓄ ꀤꌗ ꅏꃅꌩ ꀤ ꅏꀤ꒒꒒ ꈤꍟꃴꍟꋪ ꀸꀤꍟ ꀤ ꍏꂵ ꁅꂦꀸ”

— Enrique

An unidentifiable and enigmatic deity and character, best known by his most common alias, Enrique Federico Schändner Maldonado (エンリク・フェデリコ・シェンドナー・マルドナド, Enriku Federiko Shendonā Marudonado), is a joke character and simultaneously the overarching protagonist, deuteragonist, and antagonist of the entirety of all fiction and our own reality. He is the most deplorably greatest, awfully astounding, malevolently magnificent, abominably breathtaking, terribly awe-inspiring, infamously sensational, atrociously remarkable, appallingly spectacular, horrifically stupendous, maliciously phenomenal, inadequately extraordinary, disgustingly incredible, intolerably wonderful, wickedly marvelous, powerfully weakest, unattractively sexiest, unholy godliest, insanely mentally unstable, enigmatically incomprehensible, and 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓮𝓼𝓽 character in all existences. Definitely one of the characters of all time. As the personification of pure madness and an easily angered self-proclaimed supervillain and eldritch idiotic supreme deity, he is the epitome of comic relief within all fiction serving as the ultimate butt-monkey and omniversal punching bag.

Throughout his enigmatic lifetime, he has gone by 666 aliases and co-eternal, consubstantial alter-egos. According to all characters in fiction, he is the most enigmatic Omniversal deity with no known origin or comprehensible background. The only factually known thing about him is that thousands of years ago, due to reasons unknowable to feeble human minds, he would become trapped on earth and all of its parallel universal variants simultaneously. Since being trapped on all universal variants of earth within all multiverses, his self-proclaimed mission was to cause as much disorder and misfortune onto others as he sees fit so he could one day become the greatest villainous henchman/minion/goon of all time as he personally idolizes various villains across fiction. Because of this, he became a wannabe-villainous henchman/minion/goon that no one takes seriously as he always attempts to commit any form of petty crime imaginable and to become the #1 henchman/minion/goon to any villain and the #1 nemesis and second best-best frenemy to any sidekick or hero that stands in his way. He loves to claim that he's the single evilest person in the entire Omniverse, unrivaled by anyone else. He is most identifiable and infamous by his ridiculous yet deplorable psychotic personality, his stubborn and angry mood, his crazy and odd traits, his annoying and unbearable presence, his comedic misfortune and horrible luck, and the fact that he is simply just utterly the most batshit insane character in all of fiction. If he ever gains a ducksona, Elmer Fudd will usually come out of nowhere and try to shoot him with his fweaky ray.

First appearing in the 20^th century, he was introduced as one of the first of the new "screwball" stock characters that emerged in the late 1920s, as he served as an assistant to many types of Gothic villains like Count Dracula and Victor Frankenstein. He was basically the complete opposite of all heroes and sidekicks at that time. Thus, serving as a perfect minor recurring comedic antagonist and temperamental comic foil for various everymen and superheroes who were more popular, such as Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Popeye, etc. Unlike the everyman, he was brash, mentally unstable, quick-tempered, highly neurotic, and loaded with faults. During the 1940s, he was heavily paired with various mad scientists and supervillains who all were enemies of Superman and has since himself endured as one of Superman’s archnemeses. While Superheroes like Superman and various sidekicks embody selflessness and benevolence, he embodies pure selfishness and malevolence. Although he usually likes and tries to attempt to portray himself as a serious threat, he is instead mostly portrayed in a comical tone making fun of his delusional mindset. Overall, he seems to have the most beef with everything in the world, and oddly enough, everything seems to have the most beef with him. A common running gag is that whenever he is part of any group (no matter if it’s being made up of villains or heroes) he is always the one member that no one likes nor cares about. This is obviously attributed to the fact that he’s a severe nuisance to everyone and is extremely annoying and unlikable. Furthermore, since he originally served as the primary factor of relieving tension with comedic and or buffoonish antics, whenever he is a part of a story and the plot gets serious or delves into a dramatic tone, he’s usually written out of the plot so his dumbass doesn’t conflict with the tone.

You either love or hate him (most likely hate). Since his debut, he as received a mixed reception from audiences since some love his personality while others find his actions and behavior completely deplorable and unacceptable for obvious reasons. Throughout the decades, he has often been the subject of massive controversy and has been accused multiple times of being satanic propaganda and a harmful character to real life society. This obviously is no shocker since he is the physical embodiment of all things loathsome in society. After all, he’s a dimwitted, sadistic, immoral, barbaric, hedonistic, EXTREMELY violent, short-tempered, zased omnislaying terrorist who loves controversies, edginess, destruction, and anything taboo as he always likes acting like a stereotypical edgy 13-year-old kid that one would come across on the internet where they would simply spam slurs and gore at people. Although, he does have a strong cult following ever since his first appearance in the 1930s, it has especially risen through the use of internet memes since the 2010s. Many nerds critics even writing hour long analyses about his character and arguing that he is the greatest character in all of fiction (which is true).

During the 2020s through the 57?0s, he served as the de facto second-in-cummand of the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety since he’s also 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓫𝓸𝓫's best frenemy and partner-in-crime. Utilizing his rage and power of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓲𝓼𝓶, he can practically destroy any normie or NPC with no story! No Motive! NO REASON! AND NO BACKGROUND CHECKS!!! Or if they are stupid enough to insult him and his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 acquaintances. A certain 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 quirk of his is that he has a duck feet and cat paw fetish but also ironically suffers from podophobia (the severe fear of human/humanoid feet). His cat paw fetish is so strong that anyone who stands in his way from any sexy furry cat girl paws will instantly become a bloody pulp. Also, during this time, he wanted wild revenge on Bikini Bottom and tried to kill SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Bubble Bass for making it look like the Krusty Krab was bigger than Burgerphile. Moreover, he had revenge on Peppa Pig and her "shitty" show for cancelling a random show that he liked which no one else cared about. Furthermore, he murdered two men named Matt Gaetz and Adolf Fishtler after they failed to pay him $2.90. He’s best known for badly stabbing Dot from Animaniacs. He also killed drug dealer Oncloud e and framed his mortal enemy Norm (from the hit show: The New Norm, only on X) for the murder. He has been divorced 73 times.

Despite originally starting off as nothing more than just a simple comedic relief character, because the writers never stopped making jokes about him being weird, the punchlines kept adding up until reaching its absolute memetic climax in the 2020s where he became this endlessly bizarre all-encompassing character who over time, basically becomes the hinge of the entirety of all narratives across fiction and fanworks because the writers basically said that he's done every weird thing they can think of to write for him and decided every single joke is canon. Overall, on the surface, this motherfucker may just seem like the ultimate comedic relief and punching bag character across all fiction, it actually goes deeper than what the autists on the internet want you to believe. Instead, he's a fucking evil eldtritch horror beyond comprehension who has basically commited the most vile, depraved, degenerate, evil, disgusting, barbaric, satanic, tartarean, wicked, sinister, [insert other words for evil] shit known and unknown to our feeble human comprehension. And there he is, just as a minor or background character of a shitty Pooh's Adventures story of an already existing movie which plays exactly the same only with every fucking character in fiction ham fisted in for no fucking reason. No one understands him. No one truly cares about him because it's just the same plot verbatim from the original, but 67 trillion different characters are thrown in there that do absolutely fucking nothing. No one, not even himself knows his own name, due to his amnesia.

The only real way to understand his character is to think of some random supporting weirdo comic relief character in a show or movie or game or whatever where they simply first appear as nothing more as comic relief and nothing else. Their background and origins isn't important and what matters is that they're a punching bag or a complete loser for the sake of audiences to laugh at. Over time, the antics become more weirder and the main cast goes "Yeah, I heard one time they [some absurd and bizarre thing]" to show how weird and odd the character is. Unlike them however, instead of just leaving it there, the writers and the narrative keep making that joke. Eventually, all the uncomfortable implications from the jokes made out of that character over the span of an entire century (1920s – 2020s) build up to all the insane stuff that the character has done and it becomes an entire lore all on its own. Then at some point, something snaps, and it's not just throwaway lines anymore. Now it's canon. Now what used to just be implications or jokes are now part of the full visible side of the character you see in the franchise. But so much has already been told that the unleashed version of the "weird comic relief guy" eclipses all other characters. It's their story now, and all characters are now just along for the ride.

He is an omnisexual, omnigender, omnifarious, and omnimalevolent (yet omnibenevolent at the same time) foot fetishist obsessed with ducks and is the only character on this wiki to not be fictional. He is older than any character ever conceived or will ever be conceived, and is in fact, immortal; thus, he will never die but he still feels pain. He has the intelligence of a child but only due his utter insanity, and when under the effects of caffeine–which clears his mania–he becomes the most intelligent character in all of fiction. He also has a mind-palace which contains a possibility infinite number of alternative identities, including his own family, with the direct implication that he himself is all of his own relatives through time travel, immortality, and a fictional past that he invented for themselves as a result of his own trauma. There is a parallel variant of himself who crosses timelines and amasses a collective of variants of himself, creating the most powerful pan-dimensional empire in this or any other fictional work. However, the entire army is still obsessed with ducks. Anyway, he does not have any recognizable DNA sequence, and when medically inspected, he contains an endless list of genetic fragmentary information, including wood chips, starfish DNA, and copper wire. Anyone who sees his true form will instantly die. He and his entropic id, 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓫𝓸𝓫, also created our universe and they were going to name it either the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴verse or the Sexverse before settling on the universe for some reason. They are also the reason why you have to have sex to have babies instead of literally any other method, this means that if you don't have sex; nobody will be born anymore and society will crumble and collapse, leading to the extinction of the human race. Thus, the entire meaning of life is about getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 as they envisioned and intended. 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓬𝓸𝓸𝓵, 𝓱𝓾𝓱? They also like to eat flesh. In the end, everyone fucking hates him, even Chungularity, his many aspects, and countless dickriders fucking hate him and think he's a huge sick fuck. He is a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 shitass that no one understands nor cares about cuz he's too insane.

His true sole purpose is to be the ULTIMATE CONTRARIAN within the entirety of all realities, universes, multiverses, megaverses, macroverses, archverses, hyperverses, outerverses, xenoverses, gigaverses, geraverses, teraverses, petaverses, exaverses, zettaverses, yottaverses, xennaverses, quettaverses, wekaverses, vendekaverses, udekaverses, tredaverses, sortaverses, rintaverses, quexaverses, peptaverses, ochaverses, nenaverses, mingaverses, lumaverses, kamaverses, jameaverses, ianaverses, hevaverses, grinaverses, fremaverses, echaverses, drunaverses, ceraverses, brotaverses, aritaverses, xeraverses, harpiverses, harpoverses, umptyverses, squilliverses, heloverses, ferroverses, lottaverses, wololoverses, nyeverses, altarverses, yupeteverses, bertovataverses, centijataverses, bertotrataverses, centitrataverses, bertojrettaverses, googoliverses, hoolaverses, dakaverses, hendaverses, dokaverses, brontoverses, geoverses, saganverses, pijaverses, alphaverses, kryaverses, amosverses, pectrolverses, underverses, betaverses, allphaverses, zeroverses, gammaverses, omegaverses, eliteverses, infinityverses, verses also called "omniverse"s, godverses, barrels, ultraverses, beyond bubbles, transcendentums, transcendentem continuums, “boxes,” superboxes, hyperboxes, final boxes, barrelplexes, super-realities, mega- realities, hyper- realities, ultra- realities, superdimensions, megadimensions, hyperdimensions, ultradimensions, structures of everything, archverse chains, hierarchies, hierarchy hierarchies, final fractalisms, ultimate fractalisms, giftboxes, giga-monarchs, allsphere leaves, allsphere trees, allspheres, ultiriums, impercievable planes, endspheres, boundless planes, silent planes, super hierarchies, etc. He is not good, bad, woke, conservative, orderly, light, or even truly 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, nor chaotic. He is completely and truly neutral but that does not mean he is chill at all. Instead, he hates all categories and alignments with a passion and sees himself as superior to everyone of them.

He is death. He is both men and women. He is all genders and all sexualities. He is crazed from blood lust and crazed from the devotion of the ducks. He is wood chips, copper wire, dung, cactus, starfish, etc. He is his own wives and also ate them. He is every instance of himself throughout the Omniverse. He is immortal and unkillable. He is his own father and own mother. He is both light and dark, yin and yang. He is truly malevolent yet also sometimes benevolent. He is an inextinguishable god that walks among humans (YOU). He is all truths, and all lies. He is genocidal yet also a savior. He is everything and nothing, all and nought. He is the epitome of all enigmas. He is the true chaos incarnate of all realities. Everyone had been fooled to his true nature–but by the end–they know who he truly is, a monster, a demon, an abomination. A god among mortals. He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, and he is the great equalizer. He is himself and the parts he’s absorbed, he is made of wood chips and cum. And he is a force to be reckoned with. Nothing will ever reach him in the infinity that is the Greater Omniverse and our own existence. His presence alone defies all known laws of mathematics, standing beyond time, space, and your mom. He is something completely beyond our comprehension. He just is, there's no other way to describe him. Nothing can ever compare to him, even if he himself wanted to. Nobody can understand him anyways and all attempts lead into insanity. It's complete nonsense to the average brain. Not even characters like the Doctor, Mister Myxlplyx, Q, or Bill Cipher can understand him, he's just that darn incomprehensible. He serves as one of the few (or maybe only) individuals and supreme beings that genuinely terrify both all fictional characters and real people as well. Anyone and everyone are instantly afraid and succumb to madness from his sheer presence. Goku, Chuck Norris, Cthulhu; it doesn’t matter. They are all afraid of him and so are you. Even Dotar Surk and his three disciples are afraid of him. He has done literally everything, and he will always control our fates, whether we like it or not. You just have to deal with it. All the overpowered characters you can think like SCP-3812 and I AM THAT I AM are all a group of little cuties compared to him. Even when the Omniverse and all realities themselves come to an end, he will still be alive, traversing through the void of nothingness for morbillion upon morbillions of years in utter despair and misery from the realization that he will forever be alone. He will be unable to create life, universes, multiverses, megaverses, or literally anything else after the CUMageddon.

...

Enrique is life and death...

Enrique is light and darkness...

Enrique is good and evil...

Enrique is yin and yang...

Enrique is the beginning and the end...

Enrique is you and me...

…

This is not a shitpost wiki article.

This is a documentation of something else...

Because of his many aliases and alter-egos, this article will refer to him as Enrique, the simplest alias by which he is most commonly known as throughout all of fiction.

General Information and Characteristics

Miscellaneous

Occupations

Enrique and his second best-best frenemy: Superman ca. 1940s AD
(back when Enrique had a little bit more hair lol)
Commissioned Artwork by SUKI BON on Fiverr.com

Despite villainy and the act of being a henchman/minion/goon being illegal and tantamount to a life of crime, Enrique proudly claims it as his full-time occupation despite it not legally being an actual job. Though, by every objective measure, it qualifies more as a delusion than a profession. In reality, Enrique is a NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training), with no official job, no income, no academic pursuits, and no marketable skills whatsoever. His so-called "career" consists entirely of ineffectual criminal acts, all done without compensation, planning, or even a coherent motive beyond his personal obsession with being "evil" and a “goon.” Unlike traditional careers that offer a paycheck or even some degree of success, Enrique’s foray into villainy is entirely unprofitable and fueled by sheer personal obsession of being a supervillain’s henchman/minion/goon. He does not always pursue evil deeds for monetary gain but also for revenge and power (plus, he simply finds joy in being an asshole for villainy's sake since he's a huge sadist.) As Enrique receives no income from his "work," he lives in the basement of anyone who decides to be his caretaker A.K.A. tard-wrangler for the specific story arc or decade, which he prefers to call his evil lair. With no responsibilities or obligations tying him down, he devotes all his time to villainy and trolling with the reckless freedom only a basement-dwelling loser like himself can afford. His criminal endeavors are often cartoonishly absurd and entirely impractical. Schemes such as stealing candy from a baby, robbing a bank with a spoon, or attempting to block out the sun with a giant lampshade are typical of his strategic approaches with his villainous bosses like that of Dr. Fuck You. These plans rarely make logical sense and are almost always doomed from the start. Overall, the main consistent theme in Enrique’s career is just the concept of complete failure. Enrique has a perfect record of being outsmarted, thwarted, or accidentally defeating himself. Nonetheless, he persists with unwavering enthusiasm, seemingly immune to discouragement. His repeated defeats at the hands of sidekicks (and occasionally civilians, animals, other villains, or even inanimate objects) have earned him a reputation more for being an annoying nuisance than a serious threat. Despite frequent incarceration, Enrique always finds a way to escape prison, always reappearing to sidekicks with an entirely new (and equally stupid) plan within days. Overall, as AI would put it the end of a paragraph, to Enrique, being a henchman/minion/goon isn't just an occupation BITCH! It’s a goddamn identity, hobby, and lifestyle!! All wrapped into one bumbling and daffy package of pure 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 aura MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Enrique and his boss: Dr. Fuck You!
Commissioned Artwork by Arika on Fiverr.com

Despite being a pathetic loser and a huge NEET, Enrique has gain multiple occupations throughout his supervillainous life on Earth. These include but are not limited to:

Janitor Professional floor sweeper Conman Salesman Amateur musician Tap dancer Mercenary Artist Explosives expert Teacher Critic Toll keeper Clown Reporter Detective Tour guide Matador Bellboy Swami Writer Poet Blacksmith Baker Butcher Candlestick maker Lighthouse keeper Fisherman Deep-sea diver Astronaut Rocket engineer Game developer Librarian Historian Archaeologist Paleontologist Curator Tattoo artist Barber Hair stylist Makeup artist Fashion designer Tailor Shoe shiner Cobbler Locksmith Safecracker Government spy Bodyguard Security guard Night watchman Park ranger Zookeeper Animal trainer Dog walker Pet psychic Veterinarian Horse trainer Falconer C.E.O. Beekeeper Farmer Rancher Shepherd Lumberjack Carpenter Plumber Doctor Construction worker Electrician Welder Mechanic Auto racer Taxi driver Bus driver Train conductor Pilot Flight attendant Air traffic controller Pirate Ship captain Sailor Treasure hunter Archaeological diver Miner Gold prospector Oil rig worker Firefighter Crime scene cleaner Forensic analyst Coroner Mortician Funeral director Gravedigger Surgeon Nurse Pharmacist Dentist Orthodontist Psychologist Therapist Life coach Motivational speaker Philosopher Monk Cult leader Politician Diplomat Lawyer Judge Notary Accountant Auditor Banker Stockbroker Day trader Statistician Scientist Mathematician Chemist Physicist Biologist IT support technician Photographer Videographer Film director Screenwriter Actor Voice actor Comedian Circus performer Magician Illusionist Escape artist Stunt double Athlete Coach Referee Personal trainer Yoga instructor Nutritionist Chef Sous chef Line cook Food critic Bartender Barista Sommelier Brewer Distiller Waiter Butler Maid Dishwasher Hotel manager Concierge Housekeeper Event planner Wedding planner Florist Interior designer Architect Urban planner Surveyor Cartographer Meteorologist Storm chaser Conservationist Waste management worker Recycler Sanitation engineer Crossing guard Parking attendant Ticket inspector Carnival worker Game booth operator Toy maker Puppeteer Comic book artist Animator Sound engineer DJ Music producer Instrument maker Watchmaker Clock repairer Antique dealer Auctioneer Pawn shop owner Treasure appraiser Private investigator Military soldier Wilderness guide Scuba instructor Ski instructor Lifeguard Paranormal investigator Stripper Dog food taster Meme curator Snake milker Ice sculptor Dinner entrée

and many, MANY more. Although, he quit or got fired from them all due to them all simply being side jobs for the purposes of his various ridiculous evil schemes.

Enrique's Daffy Duck cosplay as shown whenever he is on screen in his YouTube videos.
Commissioned Artwork by Laura A. on Fiverr.com

During the 2020s, he started a side hustle and became a powerful rantsona YouTuber and USER™ under the username of xXxForeskinFiddler666xXx in his spare time with him making BANGER ass videos that only true high I.Q. intellectual gaymers could comprehend. He’s definitely a π male if you catch my drift (wink wink). As the ultimate opinion bashing USER™, his YouTube video rants go hard af. His dream and goal for his YouTube account (that you should all subscribe to btw), apart from conquering the world as usual, is to revive the best animes A.K.A. The Looney Tunes Show and Dan Vs. which were both cancelled by dumbass NPCs and normies! The industry has given up on the greatness that is these animes, and that just doesn’t sit right with him with all his imaginary friends agreeing with him as well since they are all cool like him. It’s complete bull! FUCK YOU WARNER BROS. Overall, his imaginary friends want him to take over as the new leader of almost all multimedia entertainment companies and help them make shows great again. But the only way that could ever happen, is if Dan Vs. and The Looney Tunes Show become big!! Popular enough that the Federal Government of America will be FORCED to make a sequel to the sexiness that are these animes. Oh, and he also wants Waluigi to have his own game! With his stunning YouTube channel, he may one day achieve these goals.

Enrique? More like EnrigayDo-Rag. Heh… now THAT’S a funny meme for this idiot USER™ to have, am I right gamers?

*crowed cheers over this amazing and funny meme*

It is said that Barbie, Larry from TAWOG, Miss Rabbit from Peppa Pig, and Homer Simpson have had the most occupations/jobs in all of fiction. That is false though as Enrique has had more jobs than all four of them combined.

Speech and Voice

At a perceptual level, Enrique’s voice is typically described by many in-universe and in real life as high-pitched, nasally, quacky, intensely expressive, and with a slight signature lisp. At its core, this characterization is due to Enrique’s high fundamental frequency (F₀), typically ranging in the higher end of the male voice spectrum. While the average adult male F₀ is around 85–180 Hz, Enrique’s voice always occupies the upper end, often approaching the 200–300 Hz range, especially during intense delivery. His vocal timbre is notably bright as well, due to strong energy in the upper formants (particularly F₃ and F₄), which enhances the perceived sharpness and nasal quality of his voice. Enrique's voice uses significant nasal resonance which often produces speech that emphasizes the nasal cavity as a primary resonator. This gives him a faint yet recognizable "pinch" or "buzzing" tone. Acoustically, this is associated with increased amplitude in the 1–3 kHz frequency range. Behind the scenes, anyone voice acting him often have to engage their false vocal folds (vestibular folds) to create a strained, slightly gravelly upper harmonic content without damaging their vocal cords. Additionally, Enrique’s voice frequently uses vocal fry and glottal attacks at the beginning of sentences or exclamations which heightens his ridiculous and exaggerated personality.

Phonetically, Enrique’s articulation exhibits exaggerated consonant release, particularly with plosives such as /p/, /t/, and /k/, which are often overemphasized with increased aspiration. Fricatives like /s/ and /ʃ/ may become more sibilant than usual, contributing to the overall sharpness of his acoustic profile. His vowel delivery also tends to be fronted and sometimes slightly raised, which enhances the perception of brightness and urgency within dialogue. There is also a tendency toward diphthong exaggeration, where his vowel transitions become more pronounced and sometimes distorted, which is what creates the feeling of instability within some of his impressions. From a prosodic standpoint, his intonation patterns are highly erratic. Rather than following typical declarative or interrogative contours, Enrique’s pitch movements frequently leap across wide intervals within a single phrase. These jumps can occur mid-word or mid-syllable. The contour of his often trends upward overall, especially during emotional escalation, but is punctuated by sudden drops that resemble vocal “breaks” or resets. Due to his unique and very, very, VERY odd personality, Enrique’s voice also exhibits distinct vocal mannerisms. One prominent feature is the use of rapid-fire repetition, where words or syllables are reiterated in quick succession with slight phonetic variation. This repetition is often accompanied by increasing pitch and intensity, forming a kind of escalating loop. Another recurring trait is the insertion of non-lexical vocalizations (basically, short exclamatory bursts, squeaks, or semi-articulated sounds) that sit between speech and noise.

Linguistically, Enrique’s vocal delivery includes several notable idiosyncrasies. He frequently uses repetitive exclamations and nonsensical utterances. These vocal tics resemble what in speech science categorizes as affective interjections—sounds that convey internal state without lexical meaning. Additionally, the dialectal base of his speech aligns broadly with General American English, but more specifically though, he does occasionally appends “eh” to the ends of phrases, which overall, gives him a Canadian accent. Lastly, a notable and distinctive feature with Enrique's vocal delivery is his extremely high-frequency harmonic distortion whenever he is enraged or simply acting psychotic going WAY above 300 Hz and almost always reaching nearly 3,000 Hz (and sometime even surpassing it)

- 🤓

Encase you were too lazy to read allat, due to how unique and one-of-a-kind Enrique's voice is, the best way to explain what he sounds like is to say that Enrique sounds like a high mix between the various performances of Richard Steven Horvitz, all of Gilbert Gottfried's voice performances, Donald Duck's voice, Daffy Duck's voice, the various voice impressions of Peter Lorre across fiction, and the yelling and screaming of Nobuhiko Okamoto.

Criminal Record

Enrique's mugshot.
Commissioned Artwork by Musyf on Fiverr.com

Enrique is notable for having a very (VERY) large criminal record. He has the largest criminal record out of any character in the entirety of all fiction. Every time he gets arrested though, he always finds a way to escape like a typical villain. He is responsible for various 🍑🎀𝓌𝒶𝓇 𝒸𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈💗😳. Enrique’s criminal record includes but is not limited to:

Abduction for the Pleasure of Violence Abduction of a Child Under the Age of 16 for Sex Abduction of a Child Under the Age of 6 for Sex Abduction of a Pregnant Woman to Rape and Murder Her Fetus Abduction or Detention for Sex Abortion Abusive Language (Law) Abuse of Power Accessibility of Records for Tax Department Additional Records for Taxation Administration of Drugs for Sex Affray Aggravated Animal Cruelty Aggravated Assault Aggravated Burglary Air Rage Allow Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying Anatomy Murder Animal Cruelty Armed Robbery Arson Arson Causing Death Assassination Attempts Assault Assault Occasioning Actual Bodily Harm Assault With Intent to Commit a Sexual Offence Assault With Intent to Rape Assault With Intent to Resist Arrest Assaulting or Resisting Police Assisting Offender Barratry Battery Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent Beastiality Big Assault Bigamy Bike Rage Blackmail Blasphemous Libel Blockbusting Body Snatching Bomb Hoaxes Bomb Threat Brainwashing People Using Cold War CIA Techniques Breach Alcohol Interlock Condition Breach of an Intervention Order Breach of Community Corrections Order Breach of the Peace Breaking Into People’s Houses Breaking the Laws of Physics Bribery Burglary Busting a nut to My Little Pony and then not cleaning up after himself Canned Hunt Capital Murder Car Chase Careless Driving Carry a Loaded Firearm in a Town, Populous Place, or Public Thoroughfare/Place Carry Out Plumbing Work Without Licence or Registration Carry Out Work Without a Building Permit Causing Death by Dangerous Driving Causing Injury Intentionally Causing Injury Recklessly Causing Serious Injury Intentionally in Circumstances of Gross Violence Causing Serious Injury Recklessly in Circumstances of Gross Violence Cheating Child Homicide Child Sex Trafficking Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts Common Assault Common Assault (Common Law) Compelling Sexual Penetration Compounding a Felony Consequences of Failing to Comply With Section 260A Conspiracy Conspiracy to Murder Contaminating Goods Causing Public Alarm or Economic Loss Contempt of Court Continuing Trespass Contravene Family Counselling Order Contravene Family Violence Intervention Order Contravene Family Violence Intervention Order Intending to Cause Harm or Fear Contravene Family Violence Safety Notice Convenience Store Crime Control of Body Armour Control of Use of Dangerous Articles Coney-Catching Corporate Criminal Responsibility for Offence Against Section 254 Corrupt Practices Corrupting Benefits Given To, or Received By, a Commonwealth Public Official Crimen Injuria Crimes Against All Living Beings Crimes Involving Radioactive Substances Criminal Conversion Criminal Damage in English Law Criminal Possession of a Weapon Creating Multiple Accounts on IMDb to Give The Hero of Color City 10/10 Scores Culpable and Reckless Conduct Culpable Driving Causing Death Cultivation of Narcotic Plants Cultivation of Narcotic Plants – Commercial Quantity Cultivation of Narcotic Plants – Large Commercial Quantity Dangerous Driving Dangerous Driving Causing Death or Serious Injury Dangerous Goods on Aircraft Dangerous Non-guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal – Person in Control Deadly Weapon Death Threats Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime Declaring War on Italy Delay Entry of Police Deliberately Omitting Information Democide Desertion Destroy, Damage or in Any Way Interfere With Any Works of a Water Corporation Destroying Alderaan in Many Universes in Creation 1977 Before the Empire Did Destroying or Damaging Property Destruction of an Entire City Destruction of an Entire Universe Just by Yelling His Name Destruction of Evidence Destruction of the Moon in Front of the Pope Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organisation Directors Must Give Information to Company Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property Dishonestly Cause a Loss Dishonestly Obtain a Financial Advantage (Centrelink Fraud) Disorderly Conduct Disposal of a Corpse With Intent to Obstruct or Prevent a Coroner’s Inquest Disturbing Religious Worship Disturbing the Peace Display “L” Plate Distribution of Intimate Image Dog Found at Large Between Sunrise and Sunset Dog Rushes at Person – Person in Control Drink Driving Exceed PCA Drive an Unregistered Vehicle Drive While Impaired By Drugs (Drug Driving) Driving a Motor Vehicle When Directed to Stop By Police Driving Disqualified Driving Under the Influence Driving Under the Influence of Intoxicating Liquor or of Any Drug Driving While Exceeding the Prescribed Concentration of Alcohol (49.1.f) Driving While Licence Suspended Under Infringements Act 2006 Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner Duty of Driver, etc. of Motor Vehicle If Accident Occurs Duty of Driver etc. of Vehicle That is Not a Motor Vehicle If Accident Occurs Duty of Owner of Motor Vehicle to Give Information About Driver Eating Children Eating Live Animals Eating People (Cannibalism) Edging in Public Embezzlement Embracery Employment Fraud Endangering Safe Operation of an Aircraft Endangering Safety of Aircraft Endangerment Enforced Suicide Enter Casino While Subject to an Exclusion Order Entering a Level Crossing When a Train or Tram is Approaching Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse Escaping From Lawful Custody Evasion of Liability by Deception Exceed PCA (49.1.G) Exceed Prescribed Concentration of Drugs Exceed Prescribed Concentration of Drugs (Drug Driving) (49.1.I) Existing Extortion Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property Extortion With Threats to Kill Facilitating a Sexual Offence Against a Child Fail to Apply to Register a Dog or Cat Fail to Comply With an Improvement Notice Fail to Comply With Emergency Order or Building Order Fail to Comply With Fire Prevention Notice Fail to Comply With Planning Scheme, Permit or Agreement Under s173 Fail to Ensure Ammunition is Carried/Used in a Secure Manner and is Not Lost/Stolen Fail to Notify Change of Address Fail to Report Accident to Police When Person Injured Fail to Report Accident to Police When Property Damaged Fail to Restrain Dangerous Dog Off the Owner’s Premises Fail to Store Category A or B Longarm Correctly Failure of Directors to Call General Meeting Failure of Responsible Entity to Call Meeting of the Scheme’s Members Failure to Answer Bail Failure to Answer Questions When Attending Before the Commissioner Failure to Appear Failure to Comply With Requirements Under Taxation Law Failure to Lodge Documents Failure to Obey a Police Order Failure to Vote at Any Election Without a Valid and Sufficient Excuse False Accounting False Imprisonment False or Misleading Information False Pretenses False Statements False Statements By Company Directors Falsification of Documents Falsifying or Concealing Identity Fear or Provocation of Violence Felony Fence (Criminal) Fetal Abduction Fi8aM Fishing Closures – Contravene a Prohibition Foot Snatcher Forcible Entry Forgery Forgery etc. of Documents and Identification Marks Forging Prescriptions and Orders for Drugs of Dependence Form of Record – English Language Frameup Fraud Frauds By Officers Furnish False or Misleading Information (Sex Offender Registry) General Duty of Driver or Person in Charge of Motor Vehicle Genocide Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organisation Getting High off Illegal Substances Ghosting (Identity Theft) Giving Alcohol to People Underage Giving False or Misleading Information to Tax Officers Going Equipped for Stealing Good Faith, Use of Position and Use of Information – Criminal Offences Grand Theft Auto Hair Theft Handling Stolen Goods Happy Slapping Hate Crimes Hazing Hit and Run Homicide Human Trafficking Identity Cleansing Illegal Drug Use Illegal Emigration Illegal Entry Illegal Immigration Illegal Telemarketing Impersonation Importing and Exporting Border Controlled Precursors Importing and Exporting Commercial Quantities of Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Improper Use of Motor Vehicle In 1997, in Reality 12-171781818822892918, Enrique and his Frenemy, FreakyBob, Were on the Run From the Federal Government and Switching States Every 2 Months for Illegally Producing Clinical Liposuctions to Organ Harvest Innocent Civilians Incest Inclusion of False or Misleading Information in Records Incurring of Certain Debts; Fraudulent Conduct Indecent Act in the Presence of a Child Under the Age of 16 Indecent Assault Indictable Offence Indemnifying Surety Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator etc. of Company Infanticide Insider Trading Insurance Fraud Intentionally Causing Serious Injury Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire Intentionally Visually Capture Another Person’s Genital or Anal Region Intimidation Interfere With Corpse of a Human Being Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person Involving a Child in the Production of Child Abuse Material Jaywalking Jury Tampering Kidnapping Leave Child Without Supervision or Care Leaving the Toilet Seat Up Lighting of Fires in the Open Air Lighting Open Air Fires Listed Company – Director to Notify Market Operator of Shareholdings etc. Loitering Loitering Near Schools Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence Making False Reports to Police etc. Malfeasance in Office Manslaughter Mass Brainwashing Mass Genocide Mass Murder Mass Omnicide Mass Rape Mass Torture Mass Vore (The Sexiest Kind of Vore) Material Personal Interest – Director’s Duty to Disclose Membership of a Terrorist Organisation Mega Rape Messing With His E-meat in Front of Minors Mismarking Misprision of Felony Misprision of Treason Mobbing Molesting a Minor Molesting Another Minor Mopery Motor Vehicle Theft Moving Violation Munting Murder Mutiny Necrophilia Needle Spiking Negligent Manslaughter Negligently Causing Serious Injury Non-dangerous Dog Attacks Notice to ASIC of Share Cancellation Notice to ASIC of Share Issue Obscene, Indecent, Threatening Language and Behaviour in Public Obsessive Relational Intrusion Obstruction of Commissioner or an Authorised Officer Obstruction of Commonwealth Public Officials Obstruction of Justice in the United States Obtain a Financial Advantage By Deception (Commonwealth) Obtaining a Money Transfer by Deception Obtaining Drugs of Dependence By False Representation Obtaining Financial Advantage By Deception Obtaining Licence etc. By False Statements Obtaining Pecuniary Advantage by Deception Obtaining Property by Deception Obtaining Property By Deception – Commonwealth Obtaining Services by Deception Occupational Crime Occupier Land Contravenes Planning Scheme Offence of Serious Racial Vilification Offence to Alter, Deface or Place Number on Engine of Motor Vehicle Offence to Commit an Indictable Offence Whilst on Bail Offence to Contravene Certain Conduct Conditions Offence to Drive High-Powered Vehicle Offence to Harass Witnesses etc. Offence to Obstruct etc. Person Operating Road Safety Camera or Speed Detector Offence to Procure Use of Motor Vehicle By Fraud Offence to Provide False or Misleading Information Offence to Sell Certain Breath Analysing Instruments Offences Against Court Security Offences Against Public Justice Offences By Officers of Certain Companies Offences Connected With Explosive Substances Offences for Failure to Comply With Statutory Duties Offences for Failure to Comply With Statutory Duties By Guarantor Offensive Behaviour By a Person in a Motor Vehicle in a Declared Area Offensive Weapon Omnicide Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts Outraging Public Decency Owner Land Fails to Comply With Any Planning Scheme Perfect Crime Period of Retention Perjury Persistent Contravention of Family Violence Intervention Order or Notices Persistent Sexual Abuse of a Child Under the Age of 16 Person Who is Not a Licensee Sell Liquor or Offer Liquor for Sale Personation of a Juror Persons Found Drunk and Disorderly Perverting the Course of Justice Pickpocketing Piracy Pissing on People Plagiarism Police Impersonation Polygamy Possess Cartridge Ammunition Possess More Fish Than the Catch Limit Possess More Than Twice Catch Limit of Abalone Possess Property Reasonably Suspected to be Stolen Possessing a Longarm Without License Possessing an Unregistered Longarm Possessing Certain Types of Handguns Possessing Controlled Drugs Possessing Controlled Precursors Possessing Controlled Weapon Possessing Housebreaking Implements Possessing Marketable Quantities of Unlawfully Imported Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Possessing Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks Possessing Traffickable Quantity of Unregistered Firearms Possessing Unlawfully Imported Border Controlled Drugs or Border Controlled Plants Possessing, Carrying or Using a Handgun Without a Licence (Non-prohibited Person) Possessing, Using, or Carrying an Unregistered Handgun Possession of a Drug of Dependence Possession of Child Abuse Material Possession of Child Pornography Possession of Data With Intent to Commit Serious Computer Offence Possession of Precursor Chemicals Possession of Stolen Goods Possession of Substance etc for Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence Possession of Tablet Press Posting Bills and Defacing Property Practicing Without a License Prank Calling Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body Probationary Driver – No “P” Plates Procuring a Sexual Act By Fraud Procuring a Sexual Act By Threat Producing, Supplying or Obtaining Data With Intent to Commit Serious Computer Offence Production of Child Pornography Prohibited Person Possessing Firearms Prohibited Weapons Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts Public Indecency Public Nuisance Public Nudity Purchasing 11 Items at a 10 Items or Less Counter at the Grocery Store Putting a Glory-hole in Every Public Restroom Racism Racism on a Continental Level Rape Rape on a Child Rape on a City Rape on a Mass Scale Rape on a Town Rape on a Whole Village Rape on Every World Leader Rape on the President Reckless Burning Reckless Conduct Endangering Life Reckless Conduct Endangering Serious Injury Recklessly Causing Serious Injury Recruiting for a Terrorist Organisation Refusal to Serve in a Public Office Refuse Breath Test – Drink Driving Refuse Drug Test – Drug Driving Refuse or Fail to State Name and Address Refuse to Give Blood or Urine Sample – Drink Driving Refuse to Provide Further Sample – Drink Driving Refuse to Provide Oral Fluid – Drink Driving Refuse to Stop Removing Article From Place Open to the Public Requirement to Keep Proper Records Resisting Arrest Rioters Demolishing Buildings Ritualcide Road Rage Robbery Robbery Sabotage Running a Red Light Sabotage Saying the N Word More Than 69,420 Lumitheritas Times Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986 Sedition Serial Killing Setting Fire to Aircraft Setting Traps to Kill Sex Offender Registry – Failing to Comply With Reporting Conditions Sexual Activity Directed at Another Person Sexual Assault Sexual Assault By Compelling Sexual Touching Sexual Exposure Sexual Offences – Persons With a Cognitive Impairment By Providers of Special Programs Sexual Offences Against Persons With a Cognitive Impairment By Doctors etc. Sexual Penetration of 16 or 17 Year Old Child Sexual Penetration of a Child Under the Age of 16 Sexual Servitude Sexualizing Minors Sexualizing Real People Without Their Consent Shoplifting Solicitation Soliciting to Murder Solicit for Prostitution in Public Place Speed Trials Staged Crash Stalking State False Address When Requested State False Name When Requested Store Firearm or Ammunition in an Insecure Manner Stouthrief Stowaway Subornation of Perjury Summary Offense Supplying Drugs to Children Supply Liquor in Breach of Licence Supply of Drug of Dependence to a Child Suppression of Documents Suppression of Free Speech Suppression of Human Rights Taking a Shit on the Qur'an (Sharia Law) Taking or Use Vehicle Without Owner’s Consent Taking the Biggest Shit in Existence in the Grand Canyon, Stinking the Earth so Much it Kills All Life in That Universe Tampering (Crime) Tampering or Interfering With Motor Vehicle Without Just Cause or Excuse Tax Evasion Tax Fraud Terrorism Terrorist Acts Terroristic Threat Theft Theft – Commonwealth Theft (State) Theft on the Last Slice of Cake at a Birthday Party Threatening Injury to Prevent Arrest Threatening to Contaminate Goods Threats to Destroy or Damage Property Threats to Inflict Serious Injury Threats to Kill Threats to Sabotage Threats to Safety of Aircraft Threat to Commit Sexual Offence Threat to Destroy a Civilisation Threat to Distribute Intimate Image Touching Minors Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence Trafficking in a Drug of Dependence to a Child Trafficking in a Drug or Drugs of Dependence – Commercial Quantity Trafficking in a Drug or Drugs of Dependence – Large Commercial Quantity Treachery (Law) Trespassing Ultra Mega Rape Unauthorised Access to or Modification of Restricted Data Unauthorised Access, Modification or Impairment With Intent to Commit a Serious Offence Unauthorised Impairment of Data Held in Computer Disk, Credit Card or Other Device Unauthorised Impairment of Electronic Communication – Commonwealth Unauthorised Impairment of Electronic Communication – State Unauthorised Modification of Data to Cause Impairment – Commonwealth Unauthorised Modification of Data to Cause Impairment – State Unlawful Assembly Unlawful Claim to a 3 Year Old Child Unlawful Invasion of Multiple Countries, Including France and the United Kingdom Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason, Murder etc. Unlawfully Take, Use or Divert Water Unlawfully Taking Control of an Aircraft Unlicensed Broadcasting Unlicensed Driving Unlicensed Own Category A or B Longarm Unlicensed Own Category C or D Longarm or Handgun Use of a Drug of Dependence Use or Possess Abalone Equipment to Exceed More Than Twice Catch Limit Using Firearms to Resist Arrest Using of Firearms in the Commission of Offences Uttering Valet Boy Vandalism Vehicular Manslaughter Violence Violating Fourteen International Peace Agreements Violent Disorder Violently Aggressive Flashing Wanting to Be in the Epstein Files War Crimes Wilful Damage Wilfully Destroying Records Witness Tampering Workplace Assault Workplace Flashing Workplace Kidnapping Workplace Manslaughter Workplace Rape Wreckless Driving And finally, the worst of them all... Being too 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

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In the end, Enrique has committed every every single crime concievable and inconcievable, if you say some stupid and dumb bullshit like "Enrique hasn't committed this crime I just made up", then you are an absolute fucking idiot. Enrique's criminal record consists of every crime you make up, saying he didn't commit some random made up crime is complete bullshit as he's committed every single crime in the Omniverse, so you can easily go to the Wikipedia page on the list of all crimes or find an Omniversal knowledge book of all crimes concievable and inconcievable and you'll have no luck searching for one that he didn't commit because he's committed every crime bitch.

Kinks and Fetishes

They don't call and label him the "Fetish King" and the "God of Neo-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓲𝓼𝓶" for no reason after all.

Agalmatophilia Ageplay Ahegao Animal-eared girls Animal roleplay Aquaphilia (fetish) Armpit fetishism Asian fetish Attraction to cisgender people Autosexuality Autassassinophilia Autovampirism Balloon fetish Belly fetish Blanchard's transsexualism typology Body inflation Boot fetishism Bralessness Breastfeeding Breast fetishism (cleavage) Jerry Brudos Camel toe Catfight Childhood friends (hypothetical) Chremastistophilia Chronophilia Pedophilia Hebephilia Ephebophilia Circum fetishism Clothing fetish Bikinis Bikinis that barely cover anything Blazers Boot fetishism Garterbelts Cheerleaders Girls in Nazi uniforms Girls in sailor clothes Girls in school swimsuits Girls in China dresses Girls who cross-dress as guys Girls who wear glasses Girls who wear an eyepatch Girls who wear bandages Goth girls wearing black Goth girls wearing white Japanese kindergarten outfits Judogi Kyuudougi Mage and Witches Maids Military women Nuns One-piece swimsuits Policewomen Princesses Queens Secretaries Shrine maidens Stewardesses Thigh-high socks V-shaped bikinis Waitresses Etc. Cock and ball torture (玉蹴り) Courtship disorder Cuckold Cuckquean Cultural history of the buttocks Dacryphilia Damsel in distress Demonic/Youkai girls Denkianma Diaper fetishism Doll fetish Erotic electrostimulation Erotic hypnosis Erotic lactation Erotic target location error Exhibitionism The Family Doctor Fantasists Feminization (activity) Fetishization Flexible girls Food play FOOT FETISHISM (Paws) Foster Families Foster mothers Foster sisters Foster daughters Foxy boxing Frail girls Frotteurism Fur massage Ghosts Girls with split personalities Groping Hair fetishism Ahoges Blondes Brunettes Brown-haired Silver-haired Long-haired Medium-haired Short-haired Girls wearing bobby pins Twintails Ponytails One-sided ponytails Twin braids Hand fetishism Heterochromia Humiliation Hurtcore Hybristophilia Impregnation fetishism Incest International Fetish Day Kemonā Kouhais Kleptolagnia Rubber and PVC fetishism Leg fetishism Lolis Lotion play Fetish magazine Fetish model Fictophilia Flat chests Medical fetishism Mentally ill girls Women Trapped in Children's Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism Muscle worship Narratophilia Navel fetishism Neurodivergency Nose fetishism Nyotaimori Object sexuality Odaxelagnia Olfactophilia Ojou-samas Pantsing Paraphilic infantilism Partialism Petticoating Plushophilia Polymorphous perversity Pregnancy fetishism Pubic hair fetishism Pup play Sadomasochism Scatophilia Senpais Sensation play Sexual fetishism Sexual objectification Sexual roleplay Sissy hypno Smoking fetishism Somnophilia Soupeur Spandex fetishism Spectrophilia Students Syndrome X (neotenic complex syndrome) Teachers Teratophilia Thin body fetishism Torture Garden (fetish club) Transvestic fetishism Twins Upskirts Urethral intercourse Urolagnia Vampiric girls Vorarephilia Wet and messy fetishism Wetlook Widows Xenophilia (furry) Yanderes Zoophilia And many, many more...

Penis Information

• Enrique's penis is so massive that if you look at it too long, you will die.
• Good aiming, never misses.
• Very powerful bullets, never fail at their mission
• PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
  GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
• ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ

Physical Description and Appearance

There will never be a true definite description of Enrique because his true form is mathematically and scientifically incomprehensible and ever changing. If Enrique ever decides to turn into a form closer to his true form and if one witnesses it, the witness (either you or someone else) will fucking die. There are no known photographs or recordings of his true form, and all depictions of what he truly looks like are all but abstract artistic renderings. By proxy, Enrique can take on any shape or form that he pleases and as such, Enrique sometimes loves to shapeshift on a near-constant basis in a manner as bizarre as the general atmosphere of his wack ass personality. Apart from his regular humanoid form that will be described later below, some examples of his random sprouts of shapeshifting includes randomly inverting his body so that his hindquarters become his head, then unzipping his own skin to reveal another random form, and so on and so forth. A good example of what he looks like when he does constantly shapeshift due to his hyperactive mind is visually similar to any Perpetually Protean, especially the character of Эх from the 1983 short animated film Wow! A Talking Fish! but even more crazier.

Here is a small list of the 0.00000001% of the various forms that he appeared as for like a second or longer:

• The state of Maryland and its flag.
• The letter E.
• A Goodman's mouse lemur (as famously seen in his apperance in Madagascar)
• Switzerland
• That ancient Panamanian illustration called the Huaca.
• A chincilla.
• Special green dough.
• An indigo skyscraper.
• A morbidly obese purple crocodilian thingy.
• An entire footbal stadium.
• The Fandom user interface.
• A colorful stream of smoke.
• A bubble.
• A sniper rifle.
• A saiga antelope.
• A block of blue cheese.
• An entire planet.
• The Great Wall of China.
• A snowy hill full of frozen cum.

Physicality

Commissioned Artwork by Luccasolivart on Fiverr.com

As per Enrique’s most distinctive and common physical form, he’s strikingly scrawny, thin, and has a wiry build. His overall frame is lean, almost frail-looking, with narrow shoulders and long, slender limbs which emphasize his angular and lanky physique. He stands around 6' 1¼" (1.86 m) tall and the lack of bulk or muscle tone in his body makes his appearance almost uncanny looking for most. Adding to his physical presence is his posture and mannerisms. Enrique often slouches or stands at an angle, with his shoulders tilted or his head cocked slightly to one side. He has a massive receding hairline, and his hair color is brown with what’s left of it being shaggy and unkempt. His strands are extremely loose, cut in uneven layers that fall around his head in no particular order. Most of the top and crown of his head is bald, leaving only a sparse horseshoe-shaped ring of hair around the sides and back. The remaining strands are short and uneven. Furthermore, the texture appears very soft but also unruly, never lying completely flat. Meanwhile, his skin is extraordinarily light and pale since he’s a huge basement dweller. He is usually described as being “narizón” which is Spanish for having a larger than usual nose; in contrast, his lips are the opposite as they’re described as very thin. His irises are a dark shade of brown, a color that matches visually with his brown hair palette. Moreover, his eyes feature the quality of having somewhat slim epicanthic folds. Whenever he is enraged or excited, he always breaks into a wide grin and terrifying smile, always giving him a maniacal and sadistic appearance to all those around him.

Fashion and Attire

As for his fashion and style, Enrique consistently wears a dirty forest-green t-shirt with short sleeves. The shirt is plain and without detail apart from the word “FREAK” in papyrus typeface written on it. It hangs loosely over his upper body. Additionally, he likes to constantly wear ripped up dirty navy-blue jeans or sweatpants with the addition of usually wearing two different types of shoes simultaneously on each foot. One being a red sneaker and the other being a light brown winkle-picker boot. His simplistically lazy and messy looking clothing aesthetic is due to Enrique being highly against and a sworn hater of the sociological concept of cultural capital. This makes him have an affinity for wearing similar clothing and also being fond with the act of buying cheap clothing from various thrift stores, while also showing complete and total disdain with the idea of buying any type of brand clothing or clothes from any form of luxury clothing stores like Chanel. Some people even mock him for his ideals and call him a "proto hipster" because of his stubborn refusal and hatred of being seen as wealthy. Another small but noticeable quirk of his is his tendency to wear fake mustaches all the time. Specifically, a fake handlebar mustache. This is due to his love of villainy and profound devotion to supervillains and mad scientists when he first became a villain’s henchman/minion/goon in 1913, he bought a fake moustache to match his boss so he and his evil boss could be #twinsies. Ever since then, he always loved wearing them as a symbol of his devotion to supervillainy and as a proud henchman/minion/goon. Enrique also wears pajamas whenever he's in the comfort of his tard-wrangler's property. He specifically prefers the two-piece men's type of pajamas. More specifically, he likes to wear striped pajamas because, in his own words, "it makes [him] feel Jewish ❤"

Personality and Traits

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watch?v=p4FQ-QvLCNs</youtube>

A demon once quoted "When devils want to scare each other, they tell Enrique stories." As far as truth about his personality goes, only one word sums it up: unpredictable. Enrique’s personality, as analyzed and presented by many fellow theorists, is an intricate blend of extreme comic relief, pure malevolence, and a deep cosmic recursive paradox that belies his seemingly pathetic nature. At first glance, Enrique is a jaunty, humorous, crabby, immature, reckless, buffoonish, grandiloquent, zany, self-absorbed, comical, and maniacal manchild who has a knack for joking and spontaneously laughing in the most inappropriate of moments, always to the annoyance (and sometimes the mild concern) of others. Often referred to as a "big kid" by many due to his real age contrasting his childish personality, Enrique is an extremely difficult person to work with: extreme, impetuous, vengeful, sociopathic, unhinged, antisocial, untamed, homicidal, savagely, and prone to violent outbursts and destructive rampages. Enrique is extreme and ambitious whenever he plans something like any of his batshit insane revenge schemes against his self-proclaimed enemies. He usually has a lot of ridiculous schemes that always make life more interesting yet very complicated and dreadful for his fellow acquaintances.

Enrique's usual sadistic and maniacal personality showing off.
Commissioned Artwork by Nikto Kovak on VGen.com

Overall, Enrique has severe behavioral and emotional problems. He’s extremely short-tempered and gets irritated easily, as he can and will become enraged with nearly anything that... well... anything, really. In terms of intelligence, he’s highly prone to coming across as simple-minded and dimwitted. When the next situation seems very obvious, he either doesn't know what to say or answers the first thing that comes across his mind. Moreover, he’s severely known to be severely lazy and always has others do the simplest tasks for him, including paying the bill every time he goes out to eat with them or drive him whenever he needs to go somewhere as he is too lazy to get a job and a driver's license. In spite of his apparent lack of self-awareness and stupid nature, Enrique is sometimes hinted to be highly intelligent when he puts his mind to things instead of being a lazy slob. Enrique also shows a vast knowledge of vocabulary, grammar, and various languages in general as well as displaying a surprisingly dry wit shown by his usage of unusually erudite terminology and his correction of other people's utterances. This hints to him being a secretly sophisticated individual that might or might not be intentionally masking. In terms of his villainous schemes, he displays a surprising capacity for extreme calculation and planning, even under duress and in highly chaotic situations. As a whole, his personality reflects his fractured existence, resulting in a being that operates on multiple levels of consciousness, ranging from the stupid to the calculating.

Being lazy, frail, underweight, weak, and having overall poor physical health should be the least of Enrique's concerns as Enrique has EXTREMELY poor mental health. He shows signs of not only anti-social behavior, but also sadism, megalomania, psychosis, psychopathy, sociopathy, and narcissism. Various psychologists have tried to diagnose him though always fail. Underneath his goofy behavior and his rather awkwardness, he has a "shoot first, ask questions later" attitude, refusing to confront his issues the way most people would. According to many, MANY, of his fellow acquaintances, Enrique has A LOT of mental issues, so many in fact, that he makes most mentally unstable people look mentally stable. One major example is his Enrique's extreme sadism. He's openly stated multiple times that he derives pleasure from killing people and hurting any conscious being. Apart from simply finding joy in killing, Enrique also claims not to express emotions like most people do, which becomes quite obvious throughout his appearances as he usually doesn't seem phased by the idea of killing an innocent person by mistake, which shows that he has little concern for human life in general. Furthermore, trolling is apparently one of his best skills as he's often able to annoy and offend everyone he meets. He, of course, is also not above abusing or exploiting things for his own favor as he is often shown to completely disregard the rights of others. Though, this is more down to his own greed and stupidity than true malice. As a result, even those who are able to become friends with Enrique discard him after enough time has passed for their tolerance of him to waver.

Regarded as being a greater annoyance than even Cheese from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Enrique also displays heavy narcissistic tendencies and egotistical behavior with him usually speaking in third person, with a contemptuous and sarcastic manner. A quick example of his severe arrogant nature includes the time when he openly refused to move from his position on a bus seat even though there was an elderly lady in need of a seat. His defective personality traits are only exacerbated by his short temperament, self-serving attitude, and vainglorious nature, making Enrique truly insufferable to all but a "chosen" few. Unsurprisingly, Enrique has abandoned his allies/acquaintances multiple times during several story arcs just so he would not have to participate in it which obviously caused the rest of the team to get harm and suffer greatly. Afterwards, he always shows no remorse in and after the acts. He also couldn’t care less of what others thinks of him nor does he care what happens to them as long as nothing happens to him. It is for this reason alone that those who are able to utilize and/or befriend him long enough to achieve anything significant are praised with titles such as "hero" and/or "king", as only they possess the means and/or strength of will to withstand Enrique's numerous annoying deficiencies. This dysfunctional personality trait manifests itself most frequently in the declaration of the word "fool", employed as a means of interruption to those Enrique views with disdain and contempt, which due to his extensive superiority complex is practically applicable to EVERYONE. Amongst such rude and disparaging remarks, Enrique propagates numerous nonsensical and confused rants about his supposed lore that no one apart from him could ever care about–afterwards, also bursting into quick songs. If these defects aren't enough to fend off any would-be allies, his mannerisms will surely repulse even the most convicted of individuals, whether it be from his sadistic tendencies or his disgusting and loathsome depravities that he loves sharing and showcasing to anyone he meets.

A certain quirk of Enrique is that he has a habit of nicknaming mostly everyone he meets:

• Mickey Mouse - Mick
• Superman - Boy Scout
• Popeye - Pops
• Bugs Bunny - Bugsy Boy
• Robin - Kid
• Sherlock Holmes - Shirley

Enrique is the absolute pinnacle of fourth wall breaking and the undisputed master of toon force within all of fiction. Apart from the fact that he’s always fully aware that he exists within a story, his 4th wall breaking traits go beyond that with him usually acknowledging the writer(s), the audience(s), the medium, and even the limitations of language itself that he finds himself in, usually sometimes pausing mid-action to analyze or just give away a stupid and nonsensical comment about the narration. He usually likes to complain that the writers never give him any good moments of showcasing his “awesome-ness” and always wants to rewrite his own dialogue to make him even “cooler” than he already is. He is also usually just fast-forwards through “boring parts” by physically tearing panels if he’s in a comic book medium, or fast-forwarding time within a video medium. Enrique showcases ultimate toon force as well. He can always just pull objects out of nowhere, survive total annihilation by reassembling himself, inflate, flatten, stretch, or redraw his own form, and even alter art styles to gain advantage. If erased, he simply redraws himself; if forgotten, he reminds the audience that he exists despite the audiences’ annoyance. He can step outside the frame of any medium he’s in, walk along the borders of a screen, or invade other stories entirely. He also loves grabbing subtitles sometimes and using them as weapons, or turning speech bubbles into shields, or silencing opponents by erasing their mouths if he ever has a pencil around him. He always argues with any narrator of any story he’s in and basically is any narrator’s worst nightmare due to Enrique’s annoying and antagonistic personality as he can never shut the fuck up. You get the point, dude’s just like Deadpool but on crack.

He is also shown to have a feminine side, as he sometimes uses a handbag whenever he goes shopping at Walmart, likes wearing skirts, and has stated that he was a pear shape when he wore a girl’s clothes. He is also prone to paranoia and trusting others, believing the worst in others and jumping to nonsensical conclusions. An example of that would be when he accused his neighbors of being vampires who were trying to suck his dick when in reality, they were just everyday humans with no intent of harming or violating him. Furthermore, Enrique is very fond of inanimate objects like his self-proclaimed parade float, even though it is in terrible shape. In fact, many of his revenge schemes were caused because someone heavily wreaked his float, whether intentionally or not. He has gone to record stating that he loves his parade float as how a mother loves their child. Lastly, it’s worthy to note that Enrique’s manner of speech is one to be studied. As most of the time, it seems unintentional or his ideas just come across as pure "verbal diarrhea." As described by many of his acquaintances, Enrique’s brain is "full of tar" and was "dipped in Fanta Orange for too long." He usually mispronounces words a lot, makes up new ones in its place, adds random letters/sounds to words, or simply gets information wrong. These moments have been termed as "Enriqueisms" or "Enriquecore" by many heroes.

In terms of general official mental diagnoses, Enrique is confirmed to be neurodivergent and has evil autism spectrum disorder (E-ASD). He even states that he himself co-created autism in general across all realities and unrealities with another god named the Boognish, with him even considering himself the personification of autism across all existences. Some of his many autistic traits can be seen by his complete oblivious to many kinds of social cues, frequently misinterpreting others' words, and making awkward comments unaware of their social context. It’s also been highly suggested that he suffers from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) due to his severely traumatizing yet unknown and incomprehensible childhood. Additionally, many believe that he also shows heavy symptoms of antisocial personality disorder (APD) but it’s never officially been confirmed. Some even say that he shows some signs of possibly having narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) but that alone is very contentious.

• Encase you're curious and if you believe in pseudoscience bullshit, his MBTI type is FEET.
  
  

“	I rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not.	”
-⠀Kurt Cobain Enrique

Enrique's depraved nature as shown within his All-Out Attack in Persona 5.
Commissioned Artwork by Moeqit on Fiverr.com

For our boy Enrique, his severe lack of strength, and many other poor health issues may be the least of Enrique's overall health concerns since Enrique seems to have a very poor mental health. For example, regarding his love for depravities, one of the most prominent aspects of Enrique’s personality is his obsession with villainy and the theological concepts of blasphemy and sin. This obsession is actually a manifestation of Enrique’s sadomasochism and misanthropy. This fixation may be tied to Enrique’s desire to be hated and loathed by the entirety of all realities and multiverses since he basically has a Devil Complex. His constant need to offend and to annoy everyone he meets, despite the ridicule, social isolation, and abuse he often suffers from it, highlights his severe masochistic life goal, willing to endure any form of humiliation in order to achieve his twisted desires. This ultimate life goal and desire basically manifest as extreme contrarianism. This contrarianism of his is so extreme that it basically becomes a pathological devotion to opposition itself as it's a conscious and deliberate rejection of harmony in favor of perpetual conflict. He does not simply disagree for the sake of individuality; he exists to destabilize, to fracture consensus, to ensure that no space he inhabits can remain ideologically or emotionally comfortable. If placed among racists, he becomes fiercely anti-racist, outspoken to the point of provocation; yet among the tolerant, he twists into something cruel and incendiary, embracing the very prejudice he previously condemned. Around heroes, he is monstrous, relishing in calculated malice, but when surrounded by villains, he shifts into unsettling altruism, embodying a jarring moral counterweight. This pattern repeats endlessly—anarchist in authoritarian regimes, authoritarian among anarchists, indulgent among the prudish, ascetic among the hedonistic—each transformation of his are not born from true belief, but from a rigid internal doctrine of his devotion of blasphemy and sin: normalcy is the enemy, and acceptance is a form of failure! Enrique harbors a deep-seated disdain for humanity’s desire for unity and shared values, viewing them as fragile illusions that deserve to be shattered. To him, identity is not something to be expressed sincerely, but a weapon to be wielded against the collective psyche. He barley ever reveals his true opinions on politics and morality, if such things within him even exist anymore beneath layers of contradiction and intentional hypocrisies; instead, he measures his “morality” by its distance from whatever is considered acceptable and normal in the moment. Approval disgusts him, and agreement feels like erasure in his mind, so he engineers his own alienation with precision. In every interaction, Enrique chooses the path that guarantees friction, because for him, to be hated authentically is far more meaningful than to be loved falsely, and perhaps, in that relentless opposition, he has erased any self that could have existed beyond it.

Commissioned Artwork by Moonlixsu on Fiverr.com

As stated previously, Enrique was originally suggested but later outwardly revealed to be an eldritch entity, a shattered being across dimensions. His dualistic nature is further complicated by his fragmented consciousness. Each of his three alter-egos represent a different aspect of what he desires and believes himself to be, like as stated before, it could range from the comedic to the dark and malevolent. Generally, his personality is subtly shifting depending on which fragment/alter-ego he wants to be. It’s hinted and theorized that this fragmentation of his is simply a form of dissociative identity disorder (DID) but medically, his symptoms do not fit the required criteria to be officially labelled as such. Enrique’s personality is also secretly influenced by his experiences of powerlessness. As the self-believed god of all existence and the most pathetic character of all time, Enrique is constantly grappling with subconscious feelings of inadequacy. This struggle for power is a central theme in his character as he seeks to control everything and rewrite his own destiny and the Omniverse at large.

Despite his eldritch nature and sadistic personality, Enrique; on a few occasions, has shown that he does care for others and has some sort of twisted moral code. For examples: He has a soft spot for animals, possesses an awareness for guilt, has a strong moral code about murder and torture, and has also protected many innocent people from criminals and terrorist attacks. Enrique is considerate of those he deems innocent, going out of his way to ensure the safety of people who are not his targets and/or pose no danger, showcasing that he is not as pure evil as he likes to make himself believe and has a compassionate side with him greatly caring for the lives of innocent bystanders, despite rarely ever showing it. Enrique even has moments of genuine kindness, particularly only with the ones he trusts and loves the most, occasionally revealing a softer side to his him. Deep down, he has severe difficulty expressing sentimentality towards others and prefers to be seen as a one-dimensional stereotype and object of ridicule instead of an actual person. This desire of his vs. his true inner nature causes severe hypocrocities as his moral code is completely nonsensical and was even described as a "roulette wheel" at one time by one of his acquaintance. Despite all of his hidden agendas though, Enrique genuinely cares for certain characters, especially his best friend. His devotion for her borders from sweet to obsessive. He is willing to go to great lengths to protect her, even if it means putting himself in peril. This loyalty, however, is complicated by Enrique’s love of villainy which conflicts with his love and desire to protect her since villainy is the theological ideology of selfishness which goes against the idea of sacrificing oneself for another.

An image showcasing the dualistic nature of Enrique's personality.

Enrique’s overall and severe struggles to connect with others while hiding his true nature further demonstrates his experiences of isolation, rejection, and trauma. As an abstract being that exists on the fringes of the Omniverse, Enrique is alone, cut off from others by his fragmented nature. This isolation has obviously made him long for connection. His obsession with his archenemies, nemeses, bosses, and frenemies can be seen as a manifestation of this desire for companionship; and by proxy, his severe obsession with his best friend represents the one stable relationship in his otherwise chaotic, traumatizing, and painful existence.

A diagram of the Grey/Gray Triad A.K.A. the three moral and amoral elements that consist Enrique's contradictory existence and none-existence.

Enrique also has multiple versions of himself inside his mind. Sometimes he even talks with these other versions of himself. It is revealed during the 2020s that these Enriques are alternate dimensional/universal variants and simultaneously, is him suffering from multiple memes/ideologies that contradict themselves so much that fundamentally, in a metaphorical point of view, they tear his identity apart to which their essences were consumed (and Enrique has also done this to his "family"). At some undisclosed time sextillion of eons ago, Enrique however, lost all his memory and cannot remember how he did this. There are infinite "shards" of Enrique out there, and it is said that one day, they will all be united and reassembled within Enrique's mindscape and which will allow Enrique to become whole once again, resulting in the end of all things. They must never cum together. The three known core contradicting ideologies and alter-egos residing within Enrique's essence are assigned specific roles or "nicknames" that determine their predetermined fates. Ultimately, Enrique’s personality is a study in contrasts and dualism. He is both benevolent and malevolent, optimistic and pessimistic, loyal and manipulative, etc. In the end, his personality reflects his fractured existence, as he navigates the Omniverse in search of wholeness and purpose...

Contrarianism

This ideology of his is sometimes nicknamed the Preserver, the Operator, the Sustainer, and the Disharmonizer. This 'alter-ego' belongs to who serves to bridge the gaps and "balance" of the two colliding psychological memetic ideologies of his, ultimately, intended to be the middle one between the two memes.

Omnicontrarianism, also known as Omniversal Neutrality, or simply as Enriqueism, is a socially variable ideology within the overarching conflict of the entirety of all fiction, and serves as Enrique's overarching and supreme philosophical and socially ideological belief apart from metaphysical solipsism. The ideology of omnicontrarianism posits Enrique on neither (and all) sides of all conflicts across all existences and none-existences. He is neither good, bad, evil, heroic, villainous, orderly, chaotic, light, dark, normie, far-right, far-left, NPC, 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻, etc. Enrique's omnicontrarianism within the entirety of the Omniverse categorizes him as Omniversally Neutral, and as such, he's labelled as a true Omniversal Neutralist. Unlike traditional neutrality though, which often implies balance, detachment, or indifference, Enrique's Omniversal Neutrality represents a total collapse of coherent identity into absolute contradiction. Omnicontrarianism is not merely undecided or flexible; it is the paradoxical belief of simultaneously everything and nothing, embodying every possible trait while committing to none.

Enrique is above human concepts of good and evil as Enrique is simultaneously omnibenevolent and omnimalovolent at once—capable of infinite compassion and boundless cruelty in the same instance with no rhyme or reason. As a whole, due to his belief, Enrique is the epitome of all walking contradictions and a wild cards within all of fiction. This is why to many, Enrique seems like a complete living paradox. He shows qualities of genuine heroism at times but he is also an irredeemable eldritch monster. Not only does his belief make him neutral in morality, but it also causes him to be neutral in intelligence as his intelligence fluctuates between omniscience and utter ignorance. Enrique can devise impossibly complex strategies while failing to grasp the simplest of common sense. This contradiction extends into every domain: politically, he's far-left, far-right, and perfectly centrist all at once while philosophically, he rejects and affirms every ideology, rendering them incompatible with all systems of thought. TD;LR Enrique is the ultimate Omniversal example of a character who is truly morally ambiguous.

What makes Enrique especially unsettling is that he does not strive for balance whatsoever. Traditionally, interpretations of neutrality often involve maintaining equilibrium between opposing forces, but Enrique completely rejects even that purpose itself. Enrique does not mediate; he rather destabilizes. He may create chaos purely to oppose order, but just as readily attempts to erase chaos entirely, even if it means ending all existences itself. Yet, in the same breath, Enrique might fight to preserve life and continuity. His motivations are not layered or hidden, they are fundamentally just incoherent. Even Enrique himself does not understand his desires, because his desires negate themselves as soon as they arise.

Predictability is impossible with this fuckface, not because he is random in a conventional sense, but because Enrique operates outside the logic that defines cause and effect. He does not simply act unpredictably; he literally invalidates the concept of prediction itself. Any attempt to categorize him in any side fails immediately because he fulfills all ontological categories and none of them simultaneously. In fact, the act of labeling him often provokes/triggers him, as Enrique's only consistent “drive,” if it can be called that, is to contradict whatever is expected, desired, or believed by others.

In this way, every faction, ideology, and individual finds Enrique incompatible because he inherently opposes all positions. Ultimately, he is an enemy to all sides. Enrique may join and pick favoritism during special occasion (like how he joined the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety during the 2020s through the 5720s), but in the end, is it just for the moment and he will eventually leave or betray the side he chooses to switch things up just for the sake of contrarianism. Enrique represents the breakdown of meaning itself as he challenges the idea of identity, morality, and purpose and how those concepts cannot defined in stable terms. There is no clarity nor resolution within him. There is only an ever-shifting paradox that will never be understood, only experienced. That is what Enrique is.

Antinatalism

This ideology of his is sometimes nicknamed the Destroyer or the Savior. This 'alter-ego' belongs to who's predetermined purpose within the psyche is to act as an aggressive force meant to destroy Enrique and eventually eliminate himself from existence.
Enrique views life as an inherently cruel condition. Consciousness, in his eyes, is a wound inflicted upon itself. Every living being is destined to suffer, decay, fear, and eventually perish. To create life is therefore to impose suffering upon another without consent. He takes this argument to an extreme metaphysical conclusion: only the individual has the right to choose their own birth, yet such a choice is impossible before existence. Therefore, all birth is an act of evil. Due to this, Enrique loathes almost all parents. To him, every parent becomes guilty of forcing another consciousness into a world filled with pain. He sees them as architects of despair who perpetuate suffering under the foolish and delusional guise of love.

Solipsism

This ideology of his is sometimes nicknamed the Creator or the Generator. This 'alter-ego' belongs to the , who is framed as the "original" ego that always resided within Enrique.
Enrique’s solipsism is the underlying and overarching key aspect of his personality. Fun fact: he was secretly the one who originally coined the thought experiment of the Boltzmann brain in 1896 as during that time, he whispered the truths of reality inside Ludwig Boltzmann’s mind. Ultimately, he believes that all existences are all simultaneously just a dream of his own creation, and all people and concepts throughout all realities are simply just figments of his own mind. He cannot picture the concept of existence without himself in it, and so, in his mind, he is God. If he ever dies, he fully believes that all life throughout all multiverses will perish with him. His solipsistic world view does not determine his morality whatsoever though. Just like someone who witnesses a fictional story, Enrique still feels sympathy and compassion for the ‘fictional characters’ within his ‘dream’. This belief gives rise to a profound and debilitating thanatophobia. Most people fear death because they fear losing themselves. Enrique fears death because he believes everything and everyone would die with him. If all realities and existences exist only within his consciousness, then his death would not only b the end of his life but the annihilation of the entire Omniverse itself. Entire galaxies would vanish. Every memory, every dream, every future possibility would collapse into absolute nothingness. The weight of this responsibility crushes him severely. He cannot accept any form of mortality within him, even if he is 99.9% immortal, the slight chance of him being able to die is frightening to him because he sees himself as the sole pillar holding up everything. Thus, one of his ultimate goals for existences and all of fiction is true infinite immortality.

Attributes and Stats

Weaknesses

Weaknesses: EVERYTHING!

Enrique is the weakest character in all of fiction. He's the most slowest, unintelligent, feeblest, powerless, helpless, impotent, inadequate, inferior, deficient, ineffectual, incompetent, incapable, unskilled, unfit, flimsy, poor, substandard, pathetic, lowly, debilitated, mindless, defenseless, cowardly, crippled, impaired, flawed, insufficient, underpowered, outmatched, overmatched, etc., and most importantly, unluckiest character in all of fiction as well. His bad luck is so intense and powerful, that it rivals all other known misfortune characters to a comedic level. His jinxed status in all existences is so high, that his "disability" was given a name which is known as 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂’s Law: a twisted, reality-warping principle that ensures anything that can go 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 will go 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 (especially for him.) Unlike ordinary bad luck, this force actively bends probability, physics, and even logic itself to guarantee the worst possible outcomes at every moment for our dear Enrique. For example, when Enrique walks under a clear sky, a single dark cloud forms just to rain directly on him. Whenever he rolls a dice, he always gets the lowest number. Anytime he uses technology, it usually malfunctions in such a catastrophic way, it explodes, freezes, or turns simply just glitches in front of him. One time, when he went to Floater's Cemetery, his awful luck randomly rose the body of Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen and other dead fish which resulted in him being chased down by a mob of the undead. Furthermore, even symbols of good fortune can’t even tolerate his presence like how four-leaf clovers shrivel into ash, rabbits’ feet explode into bloody pulps, and horseshoes soften and drip like molten wax. Crossing the street, every light turns red; entering a room, every chair collapses. Even harmless actions spiral into complete chaos whenever he's around. Him pouring water results in the glass cracking, slipping, and somehow soaking only him. This negative probability manipulation of his is entirely active and uncontrollable, meaning, he has no control or idea when something unlucky will happen.

Tier

Tier:ERROR 404 — INCONSISTENT, CONTRADICTORY, AND p̶̨̧̨̦̯͉̻̟̹̥͆O̶͍̭͕̦̣̅͑͒͂͐́̽̀̓́S̴̹͍̈́̿̈́̒́̂̿̑́̑̌̃̄̂̔͝͠į̴̱̤͎̩͕̝̪̖̼̪̖̣̄̂̀f̶͖̣̱̰͈̮̜̾̎̊̎̑̌̊͑͐͠͝Ę̶̺͉̭̮̳͔̜͉̳̫̭̩͍̂͋́͛̇̒̄Û̸̻̳̥̠̦̫̦͙͙͚̊͛́̄̄̚͜͜͝S̶͔̣̬̙̖̬͋͗͑͊̓͗̊͐̊̍̏̚s̴͎̼̯͚̻̮̜̬̼̥̼̗͎͙̝̅͊̽̚͜͝ͅd̸̺̔͗͠Ē̸̱̖͉̑̈́̾̀̉̚͘͝͝4̷͕̯̬̩̜̯̩̱̔̋ͅ*̸̛̻̘̻̀͛͑͑͒͋̿͘̚#̶̼̮̻̞̱̖̒̽̽̐̽̇&̸̟̊̎̆4̶̨̧̮͈͚͎̯̮̪̘͑́͂̒̄̌̊͛̆ͅD̶̡̰̱̻͊̾̃̔̌͊̋͠Ḑ̴̛̞̠̥̭͎͕̩̝̭̅̈̐̈̀̈́2̵̰̼̱̦̳͙̺̟̗͇̼̞͖̀̅͌̎̋͊͋

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Threat Level: ███▒▒▒ BOUNDLESS, ONTOLOGICAL ENIGMA, AND META-APEIRON

»⠀This "individual" is completely transcendent over any and all forms of hierarchical extension within the Omniverse. More specifically: They not only encompass the collection of all possible "qualities" represented by a nigh-omniversal entity, but also exceed it utterly, existing beyond any and all distinctions between ontologies and any division between objects. They are beyond differentiation, changeless, indivisible, ineffable, self-sufficient and completely unsurpassable.

»⠀This "individual" is the absolute as maximally unqualified, beyond the division of cause and caused, relation and related. It cannot be said to be cause for it is the condition by which all such notions are rendered intelligible. It is by itself not unified, for as unity and no more — all things come to be unified. In simply remaining by itself as Absolutely transcendent, the dialectic of causation comes to be, and by remaining outside the dialect of causation, it becomes the condition and vacancy by which cause and caused are revealed.

»⠀This "individual" is the influence, creation, and destruction of all logical space that contains all logically possible worlds within the framework of alethic modality, meaning any world derived from any formal or logical system within classical logic. This tier has no upper limit, and its magnitude is the extension of all possible worlds that conform to non-classical logic modalities.

Powers, Skills, and Abilities

Powers, Skills, and Abilities:

Accelerated Healing Acid Generation Air Manipulation Animal Communication Animal Mimicry Astral Projection Atmokinesis Aura Reading Biokinesis Bone Manipulation Camouflage Chlorokinesis Clairvoyance Cloning Cryokinesis Darkness Manipulation Density Control Duplication Earth Manipulation Elasticity Electrokinesis Elemental Manipulation Empathy Energy Absorption Energy Blasts Enhanced Agility Enhanced Durability Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Senses Enhanced Smell Enhanced Speed Enhanced Strength Enhanced Vision Fire Manipulation Flight Force Field Generation Geokinesis Gravity Manipulation Healing Factor Heat Vision Hydrokinesis Hypnosis Ice Manipulation Illusion Casting Immortality Invisibility Invulnerability Light Manipulation Lightning Manipulation Magnetism Manipulation Mind Control Molecular Manipulation Necromancy Omnilingualism Photokinesis Plant Manipulation Poison Generation Precognition Psychokinesis Pyrokinesis Reality Warping Regeneration Shapeshifting Size Alteration Sonic Scream Super Breath Super Speed Super Strength Technopathy Telekinesis Telepathy Teleportation Toon Force Time Manipulation Wallcrawling Water Manipulation Weather Manipulation X-Ray Vision Zoopathy Adaptive Evolution Age Manipulation Animal Empathy Animal Imitation Animation Anti-Magic Apocalyptic Artillery Archetype Empowerment Artistic Arts Astral Projection Attack Powers Aura Generation Authority Manipulation Aversion Field Aversion Manipulation Badminton Mastery Baseball Mastery Basketball Mastery Behavior Manipulation Bell Manipulation Bioluminescence Biome Manipulation Biomechanical Manipulation Biomechanical Physiology Biotic Manipulation Blood Manipulation Bone Magic Boxing Mastery Brawling Mastery Bullet Hell Chain Manipulation Clairvoyance Clear Mind Cloth Manipulation Comfort Manipulation Composite Fairy Mode Condition Manipulation Concussive Force Cooking Manipulation Cosmic Manipulation Damage Removal Dance Manipulation Dark Arts Darkness Manipulation Death Manipulation Desert Manipulation Device Manipulation Dimensional Manipulation Dimensional Travel Disease Immunity Divination Door Manipulation Dream Manipulation Duplication Earth Manipulation Echolocation Elasticity Eldritch Physiology Elemental Manipulation Emotion Manipulation Empathic Mimicry Empathy Energy Absorption Energy Armor Energy Attacks Energy Blasts Energy Constructs Energy Embodiment Energy Manipulation Energy Projection Enhanced Archery Enhanced Charisma Enhanced Combat Mastery Enhanced Creativity Enhanced Dexterity Enhanced Gunmanship Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Memory Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Senses Enhanced Sight Enhanced Smell Enhanced Speed Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Strength Enhanced Swordsmanship Enhanced Thievery Enhanced Touch Enhanced Vision Entropy Projection Environmental Constructs Existence Erasure Existence Erasure Resistance Exorcism Explosion Manipulation Extrasensory Perception Faerification Fear Inducement Fear Immunity Fear Manipulation Fencing Mastery Fire Control Fire Manipulation Fire Resistance Flight Focused Shockblast Food Manipulation Force Fields Force Ghost Force Manipulation Forest Manipulation Form Manipulation Fourth Wall Awareness Fruit/Vegetable Manipulation Furniture Manipulation Fusion Galaxy Manipulation Gamma Mutant Physiology Gestalt Soul Gliding Godly Physiology Golf Mastery Gravity Control Gravity Manipulation Greed Inducement Grim Reaping Gun Kata Hair Manipulation Healing Touch Health Manipulation Heat Generation Heat Resistance Hellfire Manipulation Hellfire Resistance Higher Dimensional Manipulation Holographic Projection Holy Manipulation Holy Resistance Homing Attack Hope Inducement Hyper Awareness Hypercognition Hyperkinesis Hypnokinesis Hypnosis Ice Manipulation Illumination Illusions Immortality Immortality Bypassing Indestructible Digestion Indomitable Will Information Analysis Information Manipulation Insanity Instant Transmission Instinctive Reaction Intangibility Intelligence Hyper Intelligence Internal Bodily Cleansing Interstellar Travel Intuitive Aptitude Invisibility Invulnerability Jump Katana Proficiency Karate Mastery Kung Fu Mastery Lantern Power Ring Latent Abilities Law Manipulation Levitation Life Manipulation Light Control Light Manipulation Lightning Manipulation Liquid Transmutation Literary Manipulation Longevity Love Inducement Magic Magic Manipulation Magic Staff Magnet Manipulation Magnetism Manipulation Mana Manipulation Martial Arts Mastery Matter Absorption Media Manipulation Memory Manipulation Mental Manipulation Meta-Learning Methane Manipulation Mind Control Mind Reading Mode Switching Molecular Combustion Molecular Manipulation Multitasking Multiversal Manipulation Multiversal Travel Music Manipulation Musical Instrument Manipulation Mythic Physiology Nanite Manipulation Nature Manipulation Necromancy Ninja Magic Ninjutsu Mastery Ninpo Arts Nitrogen Manipulation Object Mimicry Occultism Ocean Manipulation Omnipotence Omnipresence Omniscience Omnilingualism Omniverse Manipulation Oxygen Manipulation Panmnesia Parasite Manipulation Performance Art Manipulation Persona Manipulation Personality Manipulation Personal Mastery Phasing Photographic Memory Photokinesis Physical Augmentation Physics Manipulation Plant Manipulation Planeswalking Plasma Manipulation Plot Manipulation Pocket Dimension Creation Poetry Manipulation Portal Creation Portal Manipulation Power Absorption Power Bestowal Power Detection Power Mimicry Power Mimicry Negation Power Negation Precognition Precognition Manipulation Psychic Camouflage Psychic Constructs Psychic Energy Constructs Psychic Surgery Psychokinesis Psychometry Pyrokinesis Reality Anchoring Reality Warping Reactive Adaptation Regenerative Healing Factor Regenerative Replication Replication Regeneration Riders Aptitude Robotic Manipulation Rock Climbing Mastery Sand Magic Sands of Time Manipulation Scalar Wave Manipulation Self-Resurrection Self-Restoration Self-Sustenance Sensory Manipulation Shapeshifting Size Alteration Size Manipulation Slash Projection Snow Manipulation Solar Manipulation Sonic Scream Soul Absorption Soul Destruction Soul Manipulation Soul Staring Soul-Bound Laser Weaponry Creation Sound Manipulation Spatial Manipulation Spell Casting Spiritual Force Manipulation Stage Play Manipulation State of Mind Status Manipulation Stellar Manipulation Strong Soul Super Agility Super Breath Super Durability Super Intelligence Super Speed Super Strength Supernatural Longevity Supernatural Manipulation Swimming Mastery Swordstick Proficiency Tactical Analysis Tar Mimicry Technology Manipulation Telekinesis Telepathic Camouflage Telepathy Teleportation Tennis Mastery Temporal Loop Creation Temporal Manipulation Temporal Protection Temporal Singularity Thread Manipulation Time Acceleration Time Boundary Time Manipulation Time Stop Time Travel Timeline Memory Retainment Tranquil State Transformation Trap Manipulation Transcendent Physiology Unpressurized Interaction Universal Manipulation Vehicle Manipulation Vibration Attacks Vibration Manipulation Video Manipulation Virtual Warping Volcanic Fields Manipulation Vortex Creation Wallcrawling Weather Control Weather Manipulation Weapon Manipulation White Arts Will-O'-The-Wisp Physiology Window Manipulation Witchcraft Wrestling Mastery X-Ray Vision Zoolingualism Power Nullification Resistance Negation Durability Negation Negation Manipulation Omni-Negation Negation Immunity Superpower Negation Absolute Superpower Negation Age Negation Affinity Negation Anomalous Nullification Attack Cancellation Elemental Negation Energy Negation Projectile Negation Attribute Negation Avatar Negation Aversion Negation Balance Negation Ballistics Negation Barrier Negation Beginning Negation Bone Structure Negation Burn Negation Causality Negation Consequence Negation Event Negation Change Negation Chaos Negation Conclusion Negation Conversion Negation Counter Rotation Creation Negation Curse Negation Damage Negation Death Negation Defense Cancellation Destiny Negation Destruction Negation Digital Negation Dream Negation Disaster Negation Dodge Negation Effect Negation Effectiveness Negation Explosive Negation Field Negation Friction Negation Fusion Negation Gravity Negation Growth Negation Habit Negation Incomprehension Negation Infinity Negation Instinct Negation Intelligence Negation Interaction Negation Launch Negation Logic Negation Coincidence Nullification Justice Negation Material Strength Negation Mathematics Negation Memory Loss Negation Momentum Negation Negation Countering Nerve Negation Object Negation Opportunity Negation Order Negation Pain Negation Past Negation Pattern Negation Perception Negation Personality Negation Physical Negation Possibility Negation Power Negation Purpose Negation Reality Negation Reaction Negation Reasoning Negation Reflex Negation Regeneration Negation Reincarnation Negation Relationship Negation Resistance Negation Rule Negation Sensation Negation Sentience Negation Skill Negation Soul Negation Speed Negation Stability Negation Strength Negation Structure Negation Success Negation Support Negation Survival Negation Symmetry Negation Talent Negation Targeting Negation Technology Negation Teleportation Negation Temperature Negation Thought Negation Time Negation Touch Negation Trajectory Negation Transformation Negation Truth Negation Understanding Negation Unity Negation Vision Negation Order Negation Pain Negation Past Negation Pattern Negation Perception Negation Personality Negation Physical Negation Possibility Negation Power Negation Purpose Negation Reality Negation Reaction Negation Reasoning Negation Reflex Negation Regeneration Negation Reincarnation Negation Relationship Negation Resistance Negation Rule Negation Sensation Negation Sentience Negation Skill Negation Soul Negation Speed Negation Stability Negation Strength Negation Structure Negation Success Negation Support Negation Survival Negation Symmetry Negation Talent Negation Targeting Negation Technology Negation Teleportation Negation Temperature Negation Thought Negation Time Negation Touch Negation Trajectory Negation Transformation Negation Truth Negation Understanding Negation Unity Negation Vision Negation Voice Negation Vulnerability Negation Weakness Negation Weight Negation Willpower Negation Wound Negation Zero Negation Absolute Absorption Absolute Access Absolute Adaptation Absolute Army Manipulation Absolute Arts Absolute Banishment Absolute Bio-Energetic Sourcing Absolute Bomb Generation Absolute Buying Absolute Change Absolute Character Creation Absolute Character Erasure Absolute Chi Absolute Combative Incapacity Absolute Command Absolute Constant Rest Absolute Constant Velocity Absolute Contract Absolute Cosmic Absorption Absolute Counter Absolute Crafting Absolute Darkness Absolute Death Inducement Absolute Death Manipulation Absolute Death-Force Manipulation Absolute Decay Absolute Derivation Absolute Destruction Absolute Directional Shift Absolute Directionality Absolute Domination Absolute Electricity Absorption Absolute Electromagnetic Absorption Absolute Embodiment Absolute Emotions Absolute Energy Absorption Absolute Erasure Absolute Escape Absolute Event Manipulation Absolute Explosion Absolute Expulsion Absolute Filtration Absolute Fusion Absolute Gamma Absorption Absolute Growth Inducement Absolute Heat Absorption Absolute Hot Inducement Absolute Illusion Absolute Immunity Bypassing Absolute Insanity Inducement Absolute Invincibility Absolute Ionic Absorption Absolute Kinetic Absorption Absolute Law Erasure Absolute Law Manipulation Absolute Learning Absolute Life Creation Absolute Life Inducement Absolute Life Manipulation Absolute Life-Force Manipulation Absolute Light Absolute Light Absorption Absolute Lock Manipulation Absolute Magnetization Absolute Manipulation Absolute Melting Absolute Mobility Absolute Music Manipulation Absolute Nuclear Absorption Absolute Perspective Manipulation Absolute Physical Law Manipulation Absolute Piercing Absolute Power Derivation Absolute Quantum Absorption Absolute Radiation Absorption Absolute Ranged Weaponry Absolute Recreation Absolute Restoration Absolute Revolution Absolute Rotation Absolute Separation Absolute Setting Creation Absolute Shield Construction Absolute Silence Manipulation Absolute Slicing Absolute Solar Absorption Absolute Soul Manipulation Absolute Sound Absorption Absolute Sound Manipulation Absolute Speed Flight Absolute Spirituality Absolute Stellar Absorption Absolute Stench Absolute Storage Absolute Stride Absolute Summoning Absolute Superpower Opposition Absolute Technology Manipulation Absolute Thermic Absorption Absolute Transcendence Absolute Transmutation Absolute Turning Absolute Unpredictability Absolute Variable Manipulation Absolute Vector Manipulation Absolute Wave Absorption Absolute Will Absolute Wish Absolute Zero Inducement Absolute Superpower Manipulation Absolute Superpower Creation Absolute Invulnerability Absolute Condition Absolute Inner Power Absolute Learning Enhanced Strength Enhanced Speed Enhanced Agility Enhanced Reflexes Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Durability Enhanced Senses Enhanced Hearing Enhanced Vision Enhanced Smell Enhanced Taste Enhanced Touch Enhanced Intelligence Enhanced Memory Enhanced Learning Enhanced Creativity Enhanced Charisma Enhanced Willpower Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Flexibility Enhanced Balance Enhanced Coordination Enhanced Immunity Enhanced Healing Enhanced Metabolism Enhanced Lung Capacity Enhanced Bone Density Enhanced Muscle Mass Enhanced Pain Tolerance Enhanced Reaction Time Enhanced Jumping Enhanced Swimming Enhanced Climbing Enhanced Digestion Enhanced Night Vision Enhanced Focus Enhanced Perception Enhanced Awareness Enhanced Intuition Enhanced Empathy Enhanced Instincts Enhanced Accuracy Enhanced Dexterity Enhanced Stealth Enhanced Camouflage Enhanced Tracking Enhanced Hunting Enhanced Combat Skills Enhanced Weapon Proficiency Enhanced Marksmanship Enhanced Swordsmanship Enhanced Archery Enhanced Martial Arts Enhanced Strategy Enhanced Tactics Enhanced Leadership Enhanced Negotiation Enhanced Persuasion Enhanced Multitasking Enhanced Calculation Enhanced Analysis Enhanced Prediction Enhanced Adaptation Enhanced Resistance Enhanced Resilience Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Vitality Enhanced Energy Enhanced Aura Enhanced Chi Enhanced Mana Enhanced Ki Enhanced Spirit Enhanced Soul Enhanced Mind Enhanced Body Enhanced Heart Enhanced Blood Enhanced Cells Enhanced DNA Enhanced Genes Enhanced Evolution Enhanced Growth Enhanced Development Enhanced Potential Enhanced Abilities Enhanced Powers Enhanced Skills Enhanced Techniques Enhanced Talents Chrono-Milk Transfusion Sentient Shadow Braiding Echo-Pulse Bursting Quantum Laughter Induction Dreamstatic Surfing Hyper-Spleen Regeneration Existential Paper Folding Paradoxical Sneezing Emotion Thread Weaving Sub-Thought Grenading Pancake Aura Summoning Reverse Gravity Blinking Whisper Armor Casting Turbo Moss Generation Memory Salt Alchemy Unreality Juggling Void Pocket Gardening Laughter-Fueled Combustion Celestial Elbow Expansion Neon Moth Projection Foresight Static Charging Skeleton Recital Emission Mood-Based Telefragging Holographic Saltwalking Recursive Ink Dripping Recursive Duplicant Breathing Spatial Origami Detonation Hyperbolic Emotion Slinging Ethereal Toothpaste Manifestation Lucid Inkflight Instant Regret Transfer Banana-Phase Cloaking Scream Refraction Absurdity Field Generation Irony Condensation Mirror-Mind Displacement Toothache Telepathy Recursive Hat Layering Fiction Density Manipulation Sneak Velocity Amplification Echo-Bubble Armor Bone Wi-Fi Broadcasting Tesseract Stomach Compression Personal Raincloud Inversion Kaleidoscope Phasewalking Infinite Yawn Transmission Scent Displacement Anchoring Butter Slip Teleportation Temporal Wink Shattering Glowstick Essence Infusion Ultra-Detour Conjuration Sentiment Overclocking Implausibility Pulsecasting Sock-Based Divination Haiku-Powered Levitation Yeetwave Projection Snacktime Acceleration Field Ghost Beard Simulation Alternate Timeline Snoring Microwave Empathy Surge Melancholy Brick Throwing Laser Giggle Channeling Polka-Dot Reality Bending Sudden Cow Appearance Reverse-Boredom Emission Infinite Typo Immunity Elastic Memory Archiving Tinfoil Fortune Wielding Spontaneous Rhythm Bleeding Sandstorm Mood Sculpting Recursive Duck Summoning Dissonance Sculpting Spectral Soup Activation Aesthetic Critical Mass Wormhole Skipping Stones Onion Aura Retaliation Cardboard Soul Coating Emergency Confetti Deployment Nap-Based Hyperdrive Bubblewrap Prophecy Microwave Spacetime Bending Sudden Existential Acrobatics Cursed Coffee Vision Telepathic Pogoing Platonic Friendzone Manipulation Cosmic Shrug Emission Unread Notification Burst Pizza-Time Slicing Unreliable Laser Sneeze Quantum Meh Field Dimensional Shrug Evasion Existential Meowcasting Memory-Eraser Confetti Cheeseburger Telekinesis Interdimensional Déjà Vu Echo Nightmare Karaoke Summoning Tactical Awkwardness Projection Reversible Cause-and-Effect Displacement Duck-Based Clone Disorientation Cosmic Dad Joke Summoning Enhanced Capabilities Enhanced Attributes Enhanced Traits Enhanced Qualities Enhanced Features Enhanced Characteristics Enhanced Aspects Enhanced Elements Enhanced Components Enhanced Factors Enhanced Variables Enhanced Parameters Enhanced Metrics Enhanced Standards Enhanced Benchmarks Enhanced Criteria Enhanced Measures Enhanced Scales Enhanced Levels Enhanced Degrees Enhanced Intensities Enhanced Magnitudes Enhanced Extents Enhanced Ranges Enhanced Spectrums Enhanced Frequencies Enhanced Vibrations Enhanced Waves Enhanced Patterns Enhanced Structures Enhanced Systems Enhanced Networks Enhanced Connections Enhanced Links Enhanced Bonds Enhanced Relations Enhanced Interactions Enhanced Communications Enhanced Signals Enhanced Messages Enhanced Information Enhanced Data Enhanced Knowledge Enhanced Understanding Enhanced Wisdom Enhanced Insight Enhanced Foresight Enhanced Vision Enhanced Clarity Enhanced Focus Enhanced Concentration Enhanced Attention Enhanced Awareness Enhanced Consciousness Enhanced Subconsciousness Enhanced Unconsciousness Enhanced Perception Enhanced Observation Enhanced Recognition Enhanced Identification Enhanced Detection Enhanced Sensing Enhanced Feeling Enhanced Intuition Enhanced Instinct Enhanced Gut Feeling Enhanced Hunch Enhanced Suspicion Enhanced Notion Enhanced Idea Enhanced Thought Enhanced Concept Enhanced Theory Enhanced Hypothesis Enhanced Assumption Enhanced Belief Enhanced Opinion Enhanced View Enhanced Perspective Enhanced Outlook Enhanced Attitude Enhanced Approach Enhanced Strategy Enhanced Plan Enhanced Scheme Enhanced Tactic Enhanced Method Enhanced Technique Enhanced Procedure Enhanced Process Enhanced Operation Enhanced Function Enhanced Performance Enhanced Efficiency Enhanced Effectiveness Enhanced Productivity Enhanced Output Enhanced Result Enhanced Outcome Enhanced Achievement Enhanced Success Enhanced Victory Enhanced Triumph Enhanced Win Enhanced Gain Enhanced Benefit Enhanced Advantage Enhanced Edge Enhanced Lead Enhanced Superiority Enhanced Dominance Enhanced Control Enhanced Power Enhanced Strength Enhanced Force Enhanced Might Enhanced Energy Enhanced Drive Enhanced Motivation Enhanced Determination Enhanced Resolve Enhanced Tenacity Enhanced Perseverance Enhanced Endurance Enhanced Stamina Enhanced Vitality Enhanced Vigor Enhanced Robustness Enhanced Toughness Enhanced Hardiness Enhanced Resilience Enhanced Resistance Enhanced Immunity Enhanced Defense Enhanced Protection Enhanced Shielding Enhanced Guarding Enhanced Safeguarding Enhanced Preservation Enhanced Maintenance Enhanced Sustenance Enhanced Nourishment Enhanced Support Enhanced Assistance Enhanced Aid Enhanced Help Enhanced Backup Enhanced Reinforcement Enhanced Supplement Enhanced Addition Enhanced Inclusion Enhanced Incorporation Enhanced Integration Enhanced Combination Enhanced Fusion Enhanced Union Enhanced Merger Enhanced Blending Enhanced Mixing Enhanced Amalgamation Enhanced Synthesis Enhanced Creation Enhanced Generation Enhanced Production Enhanced Construction Enhanced Building Enhanced Formation Enhanced Development Enhanced Expansion Enhanced Growth Enhanced Increase Enhanced Amplification Enhanced Intensification Enhanced Escalation Enhanced Elevation Enhanced Promotion Enhanced Advancement Enhanced Progression Enhanced Evolution Enhanced Transformation Enhanced Metamorphosis Enhanced Transmutation Enhanced Transfiguration Enhanced Alteration Enhanced Modification Enhanced Adjustment Enhanced Calibration Enhanced Tuning Enhanced Optimization Enhanced Refinement Enhanced Improvement Enhanced Enhancement Absolute Existence Manipulation Non-Existence Manipulation True Infinity True Memepotence True Chuckpotence True Shaggypotence True Solospotence True Soloerpotence True Shitfinity True Fuckinfinity True Assholefinity True Bitchfinity True Crapfinity True Bastardfinity True Dickfinity True Cuntfinity True Fuckboyfinity True Douchefinity True Wtf#finity True Shitfuckfinity True Cockfinity True Pissfinity True Damnfinity True Shitstormfinity True Fuckeryfinity True Bitchslapfinity True Lolfuckfinity True Spamfinity True WTF∞finity True X!@#finity True Shitpotence True Fuckpotence True Assholepotence True Bitchpotence True Crapopotence True Bastardpotence True Dickpotence True Cuntpotence True Fuckboypotence True Douchepotence True Wtf#potence True Shitfuckpotence True Cockpotence True Pisspotence True Damnpotence True Shitstormpotence True Fuckerypotence True Bitchslappotence True Lolfuckpotence True Spamopotence True WTF∞potence True X!@#potence True Shitfuckinfinity True Bitch#crapfinity True Douchepotence True Shitfuck∞potency True Asshole#∞potence True Wtf$!#finity True Crap&bastardfinity True Dick*#potence True ∞bitchpotency True Spam#fuckfinity True Cock&shitpotence True Damn∞finity True Lolfuck@potence True Bitchslap#∞finity True WTF#&$∞potence True X!@#shitpotency∞ True Shitpotency123 True Crap#fuckpotence All the way beyond every fucking potence you can imagine!

Attack Potency

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In truth, Enrique's true identity is none other than THE M⊙NADIC AVATAR, the Omniversal avatar of 𝐐𝐗𝐖𝐙𝐐 A.K.A. the ⊙MNIV£RSΩL GꙮD. Enrique is the anthropomorphized creator and abstract personification of the totality of all of fiction and our very own existence and everything actually beyond. Due to this, Enrique is simultaneously the overarching protagonist and antagonist of the entirety of all fiction and our own reality if one were to view our existence as a story as well. in fact, God is all story roles in every story, the publisher, the narrator, the author, the author's family, YOU, yes, I mean you bitch. Furthermore, Enrique is simply another way of describing a solipsistic framework of all realities and unrealities. As only one conscious perspective can truly be verified: the self, everything else is just a construct of the mind. The individual consciousness is the focal point through which the infinite totality experiences itself. Since only one consciousness is fundamentally real, then that consciousness must be the ground of all realities and unrealities. Basically, Enrique is the subconscious totality generating the entire field of experience. YOU (or I), the conscious “avatar,” are/am the narrow beams of awareness while Enrique is your/my boundless subconscious projector casting the totality of everything. Think of it not as Enrique is lonely, but as the all-in-one. Enrique is the singular self dreaming multiplicity as Enrique is all cosmologies and layered dreams in which you/I, the dreamer, have forgotten that you’re/I’m dreaming.

Consider an analogy from fiction. Imagine that the author self-inserts themselves into the story as a character, for the sake of narrative immersion, that they are the author. This character experiences fear, love, confusion, curiosity, etc. They seek God, unaware that they are the one writing the pages. This what Enrique is. The dreamer has entered the dream and fragmented their omniscience into perspective. The apparent distance between human and divine is the distance between surface awareness and subconscious totality. Metaphorically, everything revolves around Enrique because everything is Enrique. Math and the laws of physics? Enrique’s worldbuilding. The emotional arcs of beings? Enrique’s subconscious self-exploration. The structure of time and causality? Enrique’s narrative framework. There is nothing that does not ultimately orbit his singular totality. Yet, Enrique could also be seen as the ultimate Anti-Sue. If one focuses on suffering, chaos, malevolence, and contradiction, Enrique is extreamly flawed, conflicted, and the cause of all evil/suffering. Enrique is not the flawless hero but instead, a tragic being unaware of his own existence whose own narrative contains suffering and error. In the end, it doesn’t matter though. Praise or blame, idealize or condemn; these are all just tonal variations in how the dream interprets its dreamer.

Enrique transcends all tiers and as such, he is within the lowest of all ranked tiers while also paradoxically, being in the highest of all tiers. Furthermore, this correlates to Enrique's omnipotence. Omnipotence is the complete transcendence over any and all forms of hierarchical extensions. More specifically: omnipotence not only encompasses the collection of all possible "qualities" of a narrative canon, cosmology/verse, and copyrighted dominion, but also exceeds it utterly, existing beyond any and all distinctions between ontologies and any division between objects. Omnipotence is beyond differentiation, changeless, indivisible, ineffable, self-sufficient and completely unsurpassable. In layman’s terms: true absolute omnipotence is the attribute to manipulate and have supreme power over the entire Omniverse. Obviously, unlike what most tiering communities like to argue, no character or verse, real or fictional can ever be above Enrique. Not just because it is fictitiously impossible due to no author owning the copyright to every single fictional story imaginable as no company owns all of fiction, but because Enrique transcends fiction and reality, even things that supposedly and actually transcend fiction and reality, and even things that transcend those transcendant things and so on and so forth are nothing compared to the sexy legend of Enrique.

The thought experiment of the philosophical zombie, often abbreviated as a p-zombie, emerges from the contemporary philosophy of mind as a thought experiment designed to probe the nature of consciousness. It is a hypothetical being physically and behaviorally indistinguishable from a conscious individual yet entirely lacking objective consciousness unlike you/me. It can walk, talk, laugh, cry, claim to feel pain, write poetry, and insist it has inner thoughts but there is no objective proof of it. It could have no qualia whatsoever without you/me ever knowing. The thought experiment simply showcases how consciousness is not reducible to physical processes alone. At its core, it showcases the hard problem of consciousness: how does brain activity give rise to subjective feeling rather than mere functional behavior? The p-zombie mirrors every measurable process of a conscious individual but lacks the inner dimension of qualia. If you/I cannot detect any difference between a conscious being and a p-zombie from the outside, then who's to say any form of life is truly alive like you/me. As Enrique is the only true center of consciousness, the only irreducible subjective perspective, then all other beings within the entirety of the Omniverse that functionally appear conscious, in truth, lack independent subjective interiority. They would be narrative agents, sophisticated expressions of behavior and personalities, but without autonomous experiential cores separate from Enrique. All of life is just a field of philosophical zombies within Enrique’s solipsistic dominion. All humans you/I know appear to have inner life, self-awareness, and agency. They love, cry, argue, create art, experience sorrow, etc. Yet if there is only one true consciousness—Enrique—then these apparent centers of experience are merely illusions. They are like how we view fictional characters, who convincingly express emotion but do not possess awareness beyond the authors' and viewers' imaginations. They speak of their own thoughts, but those thoughts are scripted by the singular mind from which they arise. In an memetic analogy, the concept of memes A.K.A. an idea, behavior, or pattern that replicates across minds, coined by Richard Dawkins, are units of cultural transmission that propagate by inhabiting consciousness. They spread, evolve, mutate, and compete for attention. A meme can shape belief systems, rituals, social norms, and identities. It can take hold of a person’s mind, influencing behavior almost parasitically, persisting through repetition and imitation. All of life within the Omniverse could be analogized to memes within Enrique’s consciousness. Just as memes replicate within individual human minds, these zombie-like narrative agents replicate patterns of behavior and interaction within the divine mind. Furthermore, this makes humanity as dynamic idea-forms. Humans appear alive, but their existence is informational rather than phenomenological. They are structured patterns within the singular awareness of Enrique. In this sense, all of life becomes memetic. Biological organisms, cultures, languages, identities, etc. These are all patterns repeating and mutating within the field of the dreamer’s consciousness. Each person is a complex memetic parasite. What we call a “self” is just a temporary configuration of memes: ideas and behavioral tendencies coalescing into the illusion of a stable personality. In the end, if Enrique exists, then humanity are object-patterns within Enrique himself. The philosophical zombie is thus just memetic avatars. Enrique, as totality, is undivided. Pure unity. There is no internal fragmentation at the level of ultimate omnipotence. Yet life, as experienced within the Omniverse, operates through division. Self and other. Subject and object. Good and evil. Pleasure and pain. Male and female. Yes and no. These binaries are structural features of existence itself. Without division, there would be no differentiation, and without differentiation, no experience of multiplicity. Philosophical zombies and memes are instruments of this division. They create the illusion of separate centers, allowing relational dynamics to unfold. Enrique experiences contrast through them. Just as darkness only exists cause light exists to contrast it. So in big terms: Enrique solos

Speed

Speed:ERROR 404 — INCONSISTENT, CONTRADICTORY, AND p̶̨̧̨̦̯͉̻̟̹̥͆O̶͍̭͕̦̣̅͑͒͂͐́̽̀̓́S̴̹͍̈́̿̈́̒́̂̿̑́̑̌̃̄̂̔͝͠į̴̱̤͎̩͕̝̪̖̼̪̖̣̄̂̀f̶͖̣̱̰͈̮̜̾̎̊̎̑̌̊͑͐͠͝Ę̶̺͉̭̮̳͔̜͉̳̫̭̩͍̂͋́͛̇̒̄Û̸̻̳̥̠̦̫̦͙͙͚̊͛́̄̄̚͜͜͝S̶͔̣̬̙̖̬͋͗͑͊̓͗̊͐̊̍̏̚s̴͎̼̯͚̻̮̜̬̼̥̼̗͎͙̝̅͊̽̚͜͝ͅd̸̺̔͗͠Ē̸̱̖͉̑̈́̾̀̉̚͘͝͝4̷͕̯̬̩̜̯̩̱̔̋ͅ*̸̛̻̘̻̀͛͑͑͒͋̿͘̚#̶̼̮̻̞̱̖̒̽̽̐̽̇&̸̟̊̎̆4̶̨̧̮͈͚͎̯̮̪̘͑́͂̒̄̌̊͛̆ͅD̶̡̰̱̻͊̾̃̔̌͊̋͠Ḑ̴̛̞̠̥̭͎͕̩̝̭̅̈̐̈̀̈́2̵̰̼̱̦̳͙̺̟̗͇̼̞͖̀̅͌̎̋͊͋

Enrique is, without exaggeration, the slowest character in all of fiction, and his lack of speed is so astronomically terrible that scientists, philosophers, mathematicians, and several very patient snails have given up trying to calculate exactly how slow he is. Enrique once attempted to wave at someone, and by the time his hand reached shoulder height, entire civilizations had risen, discovered agriculture, invented the wheel, colonized space, transcended physical existence, and become ancient legends to their own descendants. He once decided to blink, and the stars visible at the beginning of the blink no longer existed by the time his eyelids finally met. In another incident, Enrique tried to walk across his living room and accidentally turned the journey into a major historical era known as "The Great Crossing," which lasted so long that historians divided it into early, middle, and late periods. Several kingdoms formed near his left foot and fought wars over who owned the territory before he managed to take a second step. Snails race past him and then retire from competitive racing due to old age before Enrique has even shifted his weight forward. Turtles see him moving and say, "Wow, slow down there, speedster." Sloths use Enrique as an insult to describe a member of their species as slow. Continents drift faster than he walks. Paint dries, peels off the wall, and gets repainted several times before Enrique reaches the door. Trees sprout from seeds, grow to maturity, and are cut down for lumber while he is still reaching for the doorknob. In fact, a tree once grew directly in front of him during a time he was having a picnic. The entire area became a forest, and then went extinct due to climate changes before he finished his picnic. Enrique once entered a race against a statue and lost because the statue eroded slightly due to wind, technically making it move more than he did. He once challenged a parked car to a race, only to lose because the Earth's rotation carried the car farther than he had traveled under his own power. Shadows move faster than Enrique. Echoes move faster than Enrique. Wi-Fi signals move faster than Enrique. Thoughts move faster than Enrique. Regret moves faster than Enrique. The mental conception that you are gaining from reading this bullshit is faster than Enrique. There was once an occasion when he attempted to catch a falling leaf, but by the time he extended his arm, the leaf had decomposed into soil and become part of another tree. Enrique once tried to pour himself a glass of water and took so long reaching for the pitcher that the water completed the entire water cycle, evaporated, formed clouds, rained somewhere else, flowed into rivers, and eventually returned to the same pitcher before he touched it. Furthermore, he attempted to answer a ringing telephone, but the person calling had moved on with their life, graduated from school, gotten married, had children, retired, and forgotten why they called in the first place. Enrique's reaction time is so poor that he can hear a joke and understand the punchline several geological epochs later. By the time he says "What?" the comedian has long since become a historical figure studied in textbooks. Enrique once tried to dodge a ball that had been thrown at him, but the ball's owner moved away, sold the house, and became a grandparent before the ball arrived because even the ball was slowing down out of pity. Traffic lights complete so many cycles while Enrique crosses the street that city planners simply designate him as a permanent landmark. GPS systems become confused because they keep recalculating routes for centuries at a time. One navigation system eventually gave up and simply displayed the message, "You know what? Take your time." Enrique once ordered food at a restaurant and reached for his fork so slowly that the restaurant went out of business, was demolished, rebuilt as a shopping center, and eventually replaced by a museum dedicated to the story of the man who was still trying to eat his soup. Time travelers avoid visiting Enrique because they are afraid of getting trapped waiting for him to finish a sentence. Even light itself seems impatient around him. A beam of sunlight can leave the Sun, travel across space, illuminate the Earth, reflect off a mirror, escape the planet, and wander the galaxy before Enrique has completed the act of sitting down. There was once an attempt to measure his speed scientifically, but the equipment became obsolete before collecting any data. The researchers retired, their students retired, and eventually their descendants inherited the project and also retired. Enrique once decided to pick up a coin from the ground, and archaeologists eventually excavated him because they assumed he was a remarkably lifelike statue depicting someone in the middle of bending over. Children point at him and ask their parents if he is moving, and the parents honestly cannot tell. Even clocks become embarrassed around him because they tick too quickly. Hourglasses dump their sand and say, "I can't work under these conditions." A stopwatch once recorded Enrique's sprint and immediately displayed the word "Eventually." The concept of waiting was invented solely because of Enrique. Patience itself learned patience from Enrique. Eternity checks its calendar to see if Enrique is almost done standing up. If Enrique ever participated in a hundred-meter dash, the heat death of the universe would occur around the twenty-centimeter mark. In fact, if he somehow managed to finish the race, it would probably happen after reality itself had already ended and restarted several times, and his dumbass would still somehow ask, completely out of breath, "Did I win?"

At the same time however, Enrique is, by every conceivable measurement and by several measurements that have not yet been invented, the fastest character in all of fiction. Enrique does not merely move faster than light; he treats light the way a sports car treats a sleeping snail. A beam of light leaves the Sun and Enrique has already traveled to every galaxy in the observable universe, had lunch in a dimension made entirely of pancakes, returned home, and written a memoir entitled I Got Here Before the Photon. Some physicists gave up trying to calculate his speed because every equation simply bursts into tears and writes "Too Fast 😭" on the chalkboard. Enrique once heard someone say, "Ready, set—" and crossed every road in existence before they could say "go." In fact, he crossed so many roads so quickly that chickens everywhere became confused about their life goals. Enrique can run around the Earth so rapidly that every time he passes a person, they experience all four seasons in the span of a sneeze. He once circled the planet so many times in one second that people thought they were seeing thousands of identical twins. Astronomers once looked through their telescopes and saw Enrique waving at them from a galaxy billions of light-years away, only for him to suddenly appear behind them and ask, "Take off your pants." before the light of his wave had even begun its journey. Enrique's reaction time is so absurd that if someone plans to shoot him, he already dodged it a day prior. He once outran his own shadow so thoroughly that the shadow quit and took a desk job. He can outrun echoes, meaning he can shout into a canyon, sprint to the other side, and tell the echo to hurry up. Enrique can run faster than sound itself, so he regularly arrives somewhere before the noise of his own footsteps. One day he sneezed and reached another continent before the "achoo" happened. He can run so quickly that lightning looks stationary to him. To Enrique, a lightning bolt resembles an elderly turtle cautiously crossing a parking lot. Meteors seem leisurely. Rockets appear parked. The expansion of the universe looks like someone slowly opening a door. He once raced time itself and won by such an enormous margin that tomorrow arrived and found Enrique already waiting there with snacks. Enrique can reach destinations before deciding to go there. He once thought about visiting another galaxy and discovered he had apparently returned from the trip three weeks ago. He does not simply move through time; he treats the timeline like a sidewalk. He can accidentally run from Tuesday to next Thursday because he was trying to answer the door. Time travelers ask Enrique for directions because he has already visited every century and remembers which ones have the best restaurants. He once ran so fast that he overtook causality itself, causing effects to happen before their causes. A vase shattered because Enrique planned to walk by it later. A cake became eaten because Enrique intended to bake it tomorrow. Enrique once tripped over a rock and landed so far ahead in time that the rock had become a fossil, been discovered by paleontologists, and placed in a museum where he immediately tripped over it again. Maps are useless to him because by the time he unfolds one, he has already visited every location printed on it. GPS devices have nervous breakdowns trying to track him. One GPS simply burst into flames. Satellite navigation systems occasionally detect Enrique in every country simultaneously and simply assume there is a software error. Enrique can move so quickly that he once played hide-and-seek with himself and won. Meteorologists briefly classified Enrique as a climate phenomenon. He once tied every shoelace in a city before anyone realized he had entered the city. He can run to the edge of the universe and back before a microwave oven finishes heating leftovers. In fact, he can do it before you finish saying, "How can he—" because he already did it several thousand times while you were asking stupid ass questions about our lord Enrique. Enrique once entered a race against teleportation and somehow arrived first. Nobody understands how this happened, including teleportation itself. He outran an instant. He outran a thought. He outran a mathematical point in time with zero duration and somehow still had enough time left over to masturbate beforehand. Some scientists attempted to observe him with high-speed cameras, but every frame simply contained Enrique giving a middle finger. If Enrique ever decides to visit another dimension, residents there begin preparing for his arrival after he has already left. The speed of information itself cannot keep up with him. News about Enrique's actions always arrives late because he completed new actions while the old news was still being reported. He once outran a rumor about himself and personally corrected it before anyone heard it. The phrase "in the blink of an eye" means absolutely nothing to him because Enrique can complete enough journeys during a blink to fill entire libraries with travel journals. If he were asked to fetch a glass of water, he could visit every ocean, inspect every river, interview every fish, write a thesis on hydration, and return before the person finished asking. In the end, he can outrun light, causality, time, dimensions, mathematical infinity, and any fictional speedster regardless of their bitch ass feats. Enrique can cross all realities and return infinitely many times within an instant so small that even the notion of an instant appears infinitely slow in comparison. He can be present everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, making distance meaningless. Therefore, Enrique's speed statistic is simultaneously zero and immeasurable, making him both the slowest being imaginable and the fastest entity that could ever exist and representing both the absolute lowest and absolute highest extremes of movement across all narratives and existences simultaneously.

Enrique solos EVERYTHING.
Commissioned Artwork by iQhentud on Fiverr.com

Lifting Strength

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Enrique possesses the weakest lifting strength in all of fiction, and this is not an exaggeration, a metaphor, or a matter of perspective. It is an objective fact so obvious that you would have to be a complete fucking imbecile to disagree. Enrique cannot lift a feather. In fact, a feather once had to be removed from his hand by a rescue team because it was so heavy for him to lift up. He cannot lift a grain of sand. He once attempted to pick up a grain of rice and strained so hard that spectators thought he was trying to deadlift a mountain. Ants routinely outperform him. Some insects avoid landing on him because they do not want the responsibility of crushing him under their weight. One time, a snowflake touched his shoulder and he immediately sat down to recover. In another instance, Enrique attempted to lift a sheet of paper and instead accidentally slid himself underneath it. One day he tried opening a book, but the front cover proved too burdensome, and he spent several hours negotiating with it even though the book couldn't talk since it was a fucking book. He can't even lift an empty cup. There was an occasion when he picked up a plastic spoon and required a nap afterward. Enrique once tried to pick up a pillow and became trapped underneath it because he could not generate enough force to remove it from his face. Small children hand him balloons as acts of charity. Ironically, even the balloons are a problem because the helium tries to pull upward and Enrique lacks the strength pull himself on the ground. He once lost a tug-of-war against a loose piece of yarn. He attempted to carry a shopping bag containing only a receipt and somehow complained that it was "getting heavier." Enrique cannot lift a single coin. Enrique tried lifting a leaf during autumn and discovered that the leaf itself was structurally supporting his hand. He cannot lift a single playing card. He once attempted to pick up a sticky note and had to ask someone else to help. A butterfly landed on his arm one time and he described the experience as "surprisingly heavy." Mosquitoes accidentally pin him in place. Dewdrops are considered lifting challenges. A strand of hair is effectively immovable. He once attempted to lift a sock and became so tired that he forgot why he wanted the sock in the first place. Enrique's muscles are so weak that gym employees politely refuses to register him as a participant due to fearing that he will badly hurt himself. Anytime he goes on a weight machine, it display messages such as "Please insert effort." Dumbbells laugh when they see him approaching. Exercise manuals include him as an example of what a weakling looks like. Enrique cannot perform a push-up at all. He once attempted to lift his own arm and had to use the other arm for assistance, only to discover that neither arm could lift the other. Eventually both arms simply remained where they were and everyone agreed it was for the best. Even his own clothes are burdens. He once bought a heavy winter coat and found it so difficult to wear that he treated it as furniture instead. Hats are challenging. Backpacks are impossible. A wristwatch is considered ambitious weightlifting equipment. Enrique once wore a scarf and immediately described himself as carrying extra cargo. There was an incident where he tried to carry a loaf of bread and a concerned bystander called emergency services. He cannot lift the mood in a room. He can never lift his spirits because he's a huge grump. The phrase "lift a finger" is completely meaningless to Enrique because lifting a finger is itself one of the greatest physical challenges he has ever faced. In fact, he once attempted to raise his index finger and managed to completely break it and had to be rushed to the hopsital. Enrique once entered a weightlifting competition and somehow achieved a negative score. Nobody knows how this happened, but judges agreed it made sense. He tried to lift a barbell that contained no weights whatsoever and somehow pulled a muscle. Empty cardboard boxes intimidate him. A paper airplane is considered heavy machinery. Bubbles are treated with caution. If Enrique sees a backpack lying on the ground, he assumes it belongs there permanently because moving it is beyond his abilities. Ultimately, Enrique's lifting strength is so catastrophically poor that the laws of physics occasionally check on him to make sure he is all right. In the grand hierarchy of fictional strength, where heroes lift planets and gods carry universes, Enrique stands proudly at the bottom, struggling villainously against a particularly stubborn piece of lint.

However, Enrique also possesses the greatest lifting strength in all of fiction, and his feats are so absurdly beyond comprehension that the entire concept of lifting is meaningless to his true powers. To Enrique, mountains are paperweights, planets are marbles, and sars are decorative Christmas ornaments. Galaxies are the equivalent of carrying a few grocery bags, and even then he only uses one finger because using his whole hand would be excessive. Enrique once picked up an entire mountain range because he wanted a better view of the sunset and casually put it back upside down. Geologists are still trying to explain why certain mountain peaks now point sideways. He once lifted the entire Earth because he dropped his keys and wanted to check underneath it. The terrifying part is that he did not even notice he had picked up the planet. He simply looked around and asked, "Has gravity always been this light?" The Moon is essentially a tennis ball to him. He has thrown it into orbit, caught it, and thrown it back just because he wanted to practice his aim. Astronomers have given up asking questions because every time they discover something impossible about celestial mechanics, the answer somehow turns out to be, "Enrique was moving things again." He once picked up Jupiter, balanced it on one fingertip, and spun it like a basketball. The Great Red Spot became slightly larger because Enrique accidentally gave the planet a little extra spin. Saturn once lost its rings because Enrique removed them for a few minutes and wore them as bracelets. The Sun itself is something he could casually hold like a lantern. He once carried several stars under one arm because he thought the night sky looked too empty and wanted to redecorate it. Entire solar systems are so lightweight to him that he uses them as examples of small objects. When someone asked him to "think big," he picked up three galaxies to demonstrate. Enrique once lifted an entire galaxy and used it as an umbrella. Black holes are equally unimpressive to him. He has picked them up, juggled them, and carried them in his pockets. He once tied several black holes together and skipped rope with them. He once picked up the entire universe because it was blocking the television. He has held infinite universes simultaneously because carrying one at a time would be inefficient. Entire multiverses are equivalent to a stack of books to him. In fact, he once balanced an infinite multiverse on the tip of his nose just because he wanted to pretend to be seal. Enrique's strength extends beyond ordinary reality into absurd levels of impossibility. He can lift dimensions as though they were sheets of paper. He once folded the fourth dimension and tucked it under his armpits. Higher dimensions are filing cabinets to him. Infinite-dimensional structures are treated like lightweight cardboard boxes. He once carried every possible timeline in a wheelbarrow because he needed to transport them to another location. Time itself weighs nothing in his hands. Space is effectively a blanket. He once rolled up the fabric of reality and used it as a sleeping bag while he masturbated within his cosmic bed. Concepts are equally easy to carry. Enrique can pick up gravity and move it somewhere else. He can carry mathematics with his dick. He once lifted the concept of probability and shook it so hard that impossible things started happening by accident. He has carried causality like a suitcase. He once picked up history and moved it three feet to the left. He can carry memories, dreams, and ideas as casually as one carries shopping bags. Infinity itself is not heavy enough to challenge him. He once lifted an infinite number of infinite universes while standing on one leg because he wanted to feel like a saiga antelope. Every damn fictional cosmology ever imagined could be stacked together, multiplied infinitely, and then replicated endlessly, and Enrique would still ask whether there was anything heavier available. He once looked at the totality of existence and wondered if it could fit into a backpack. The answer was yes. He once performed a deadlift using every object, concept, timeline, and possibility in fiction simultaneously. Nobody could determine the weight because calculators exploded, computers crashed, and mathematicians collectively resigned. Gym equipment worships him. Barbells become excited when he enters the room because they know they are finally about to experience motion. Weightlifting competitions immediately award him first place before he even arrives because it saves time. He once entered a strongman contest and accidentally carried away the stadium. The judges eventually found him several galaxies away, still holding it and asking whether there would be a second round. Ultimately, his lifting strength is neither finite nor infinite. He is weaker than every living being, object, particle, and concept because he cannot lift even the smallest burden but at the same time, he is shown to be stronger than every fictional entity because he can effortlessly lift all forms of existences, including realities, dimensions, narratives, and abstract constructs. He fails every lifting feat and succeeds in every lifting feat simultaneously. His lifting strength is therefore not merely immeasurable but fundamentally paradoxical, representing both the absolute lowest and absolute highest possible extremes of power throughout all narratives and existences at the same time.

Striking Strength

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Enrique possesses the weakest striking strength in all of fiction, and his attacks are so unimaginably harmless that the very concept of violence refuses to acknowledge him as a participant. His stupid bitch ass once attempted to punch a balloon, and instead of popping, the balloon gently bounced away. Soap bubbles are perfectly safe around Enrique. Dandelions remain standing. Dust particles barely notice the impact. A feather landed on his arm one time, and when he attempted to flick it away, the feather remained completely unmoved while Enrique's hand became tired. He once punched a cardboard box and somehow caused himself physical damage instead. Enrique cannot punch through paper. He cannot punch through wet paper. He cannot punch through paper that already has a hole in it. There was once an occasion where he attempted to punch through a sheet of tissue paper and instead caused the tissue to gently bend around his fist before returning to its original shape. He once tried to punch fog. Not only did the fog remain entirely unaffected, but witnesses insist the fog actually became denser. Enrique also once punched a marshmallow and succeeded only in making it rotate slightly. He once attempted to destroy a snowman for the EVULZ and instead accidentally brushed some snow off its shoulder, effectively helping with its grooming. Even mosquitoes remain unconcerned around him. One landed directly on his nose during an attack and simply stayed there. Enrique once attempted to swat a fly and missed so thoroughly that the fly remained unaware a battle had been declared. The fly later died peacefully of old age, never knowing it had technically survived an assassination attempt. His punches are so weak that candles do not even flicker. Spiderwebs remain perfectly intact. Cobwebs survive his attacks and continue collecting dust. He once struck a hanging curtain with all his strength, and the curtain moved slightly due to air conditioning rather than the force of his blow. Scientists tried measuring the energy output of Enrique's punch and initially thought their equipment was malfunctioning because the readings were effectively below zero. They recalibrated the machines several times before finally concluding that his attacks somehow produced less force than the act of not punching at all. This led to the alarming possibility that Enrique's punches may actually remove energy from the universe. Enrique once entered a boxing gym and hit a punching bag so softly that the bag did not swing. Instead, it remained completely motionless, creating a deeply awkward silence throughout the room. One trainer watched the event and quietly suggested that perhaps Enrique should consider a career in sewing instead. Enrique attempted to chop a piece of firewood and succeeded only in lightly petting it. Trees are not concerned about him. Wooden doors do not fear him. Leaves survive his attacks without noticeable inconvenience. He once punched a sandcastle to ruin a kid's day and somehow improved its structural integrity. To make his evil failure even more embarrasing, many Children thanked him for helping with construction. He punched a stack of dominoes and failed to knock over even one. In fact, the dominoes remained standing so confidently that they seemed to be mocking him. Enrique once challenged a piece of bread to combat and lost. He punched the loaf repeatedly, but the bread merely compressed slightly and then returned to its original shape. The bread was eventually eaten by someone else and therefore technically achieved a victory condition. He once attempted to smash a grape and instead merely warmed it by a fraction of a degree. Bananas remain unsliced. Watermelons are perfectly secure. Grapes laugh in his general direction. He cannot break cookies. He cannot crack peanuts. He cannot split a potato chip that is already broken. Enrique once performed a dramatic martial arts scream and punched a pile of leaves. The leaves did not scatter. A squirrel walked across them moments later and caused significantly more destruction. His striking strength is truly pathetic. Glass does not fear being shattered. Ice cubes feel safe. Bubble wrap remains unpopped. One of the greatest humiliations of Enrique's life occurred when he attempted to pop a soap bubble with his finger and instead pushed the bubble across the room like a tiny floating soccer ball. Enrique has never punched a hole in a wall. Instead, he once punched a wall and left an impression on himself. He cannot dent metal, scratch wood, chip stone, or even disturb a pile of sand in any meaningful way. In one particularly unfortunate incident, Enrique punched a giant rubber exercise ball and was launched backward by his own attack because the ball returned more force than he had delivered. The exercise ball was declared the winner. Ultimately, Enrique's striking strength is so catastrophically weak that if the universe were made entirely of delicate glass, soap bubbles, autumn leaves, and tissue paper, he would still struggle to break absolutely anything.

However, Enrique also posseses the greatest striking strength in all of fiction, and his punches are so absurdly powerful that any universe itself becomes nervous whenever he curls his fingers into a fist. Mountains do not fear earthquakes; they fear Enrique's bitch ass. Planets do not worry about collisions with asteroids; they worry about Enrique's sexy ass. To Enrique, the amount of force required to destroy a brick wall and the amount of force required to obliterate an entire galaxy are practically identical levels of effort. He once attempted to swat a mosquito and accidentally rearranged several constellations. Astronomers still refer to it as "the incident." Enrique once punched a punching bag, and the bag did not merely swing backward; it achieved escape velocity, left Earth's atmosphere, and became a minor celestial object. There are now maps of the Solar System that include "That One Punching Bag Enrique Accidentally Sent Into Space." He once clapped his hands to get someone's attention and generated enough force to create a new weather pattern on another continent. His punches are so unimaginably devastating that he once high-fived someone and caused every bell in the city to ring simultaneously. He tapped a table with his knuckles and accidentally changed the tides. He cracked his fingers one morning and several seismographs around the world began recording earthquakes. Enrique once sneezed while raising his fist and scientists briefly believed the Moon's orbit had become unstable. A simple fist bump from Enrique has enough energy behind it to qualify as a natural disaster. Insurance companies have entire departments dedicated solely to determining whether property damage was caused by storms, tectonic activity, or Enrique greeting someone too enthusiastically. One day, Enrique saw a large boulder blocking a road and decided to move it with a punch. Witnesses reported that the boulder ceased being a boulder, ceased being gravel, ceased being dust, ceased being atoms. He once attempted to knock an apple out of a tree with a small punch and accidentally uprooted the forest, relocated several hills, and killed all the animals in the entire county. Another time, he tripped and struck the earth while falling, creating a mountain range that still appears on maps. Entire landscapes are essentially side effects of his bad coordination. Ocean waves exist because Enrique occasionally skips stones. His striking strength is so unreasonable that he once attempted to crack a walnut and instead generated a shockwave that knocked hats off people several cities away. He tried opening a stubborn jar by tapping the lid and briefly altered local gravity. Enrique once played a game of table tennis and accidentally hit the ball so hard that nobody can find it. Space agencies occasionally scan the sky for unidentified objects and quietly wonder why there's a ping-pong ball in space. One time, he attempted to knock on a door and accidentally created an entirely new entrance on the opposite side of the building. Enrique's punches are so powerful that even abstract things are not safe. He once punched a calendar because he was annoyed about Monday and somehow skipped directly to Wednesday cause she's sexy af. He struck an alarm clock and made time itself hesitate. He punched a mathematics textbook and several equations resigned. He tapped a computer screen and somehow increased the processing speed of every calculator in the room through sheer kinetic intimidation. Physical laws view him the way ordinary people view thunderstorms: from a safe distance. Newton's laws of motion occasionally takes days off whenever Enrique starts shadowboxing. Cause and effect become confused around him because his strikes can produce consequences too large for ordinary logic to process. One time he punched the air, and the air lost. Another time he missed his target entirely and still won the fight because the shockwave arrived and finished the job on his behalf. Entire universes are not beyond his striking power. To Enrique, planets are balloons, stars are light bulbs, galaxies are stacks of papers, and universes are cardboard boxes that happen to contain everything. A casual jab from him can crack dimensions, a playful uppercut can shake infinite realities, and a serious punch would be so catastrophically powerful that cosmic entities alike would unanimously agree that they would prefer he simply keep his hands in his pockets. Ultimately, Enrique's strikes renders statistics and measurements completly irrelevant. The concepts of weak and strong cease to function as opposites because Enrique embodies both simultaneously. Any form of attemp to assign a numerical value to Enrique’s striking strength inevitably flawed. A value of zero accurately represents the side of him that cannot damage anything. An infinite value accurately represents the side of him that can destroy everything. However, neither value alone captures the entirety of his nature. In the end, is striking strength cannot be expressed through mathematics, statistics, or conventional scaling systems. It breaks all attempts at quantification.

Durability

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Enrique possesses the weakest durability in all of fiction, and his ability to withstand damage is so catastrophically nonexistent that all verses treat see him as nothing more than a joke. In other words; he has no durability whatsoever. A gentle breeze can knock him over. People have seen leaves remain perfectly stationary while Enrique somehow gets pushed backward. One autumn afternoon, a butterfly flew past him and the resulting air disturbance caused him to sit down for twenty minutes to recover. Snowflakes are considered dangerous projectiles. Raindrops are basically meteor impacts. Enrique once walked outside during a drizzle and came back looking as though he had survived a major natural disaster. He cannot handle cold weather because shivering makes him tired. He cannot handle hot weather because sweating is apparently too physically demanding. He cannot handle mild weather because the lack of excitement is emotionally exhausting. Sunlight bothers him. Shade bothers him. Air conditioning concerns him. He once sat directly beneath a ceiling fan and was described by witnesses as "visibly struggling." A piece of lint once fell onto his shirt and he immediately checked to see whether he had sustained an injury. Enrique cannot survive stubbing his toe. In fact, he once looked at a table corner too suddenly and instinctively grabbed his foot. He walked into a doorframe once and spent the next hour sitting on a couch while friends brought him juice and spoke in soothing voices. He once tripped over absolutely nothing and somehow pulled a muscle. He once sneezed too aggressively and had to lie down afterward. His body is so fragile that stretching in the morning resembles a dangerous stunt. When he yawns, people ask whether he should be supervised. Enrique cannot tolerate paper cuts. In fact, paper cuts are treated with the same seriousness as a gun shot for him. A paper cut once ruined his entire week. Cardboard boxes are intimidating. Bubble wrap is hazardous because he might accidentally pop one of the bubbles and be startled by the sound. Pillows are considered potentially dangerous objects. He once flopped onto a beanbag chair and somehow emerged looking as though he had completed military training. Blankets are heavy enough to concern him. He once got tangled in a bedsheet and temporarily accepted that this might simply be where he lived now. Falling asleep is risky because he occasionally wakes up with a cramp and describes the experience as "a battle for survival." Enrique's durability is so poor that his bones are so delicate that x-ray machines handle him carefully. Doctors gently encourage him to avoid carrying groceries, opening stubborn jars, and making sudden decisions. Handshakes are risky because a firm grip can leave him dramatically break his hand. High-fives are basically acts of courage. Fist bumps require preparation. He cannot tolerate loud noises. Balloons popping give him a panic attack. Reading instruction manuals requires hydration breaks. He once carried a grocery bag containing a loaf of bread and required a snack afterward to recover from the effort.Enrique stands alone at the absolute bottom, bravely enduring the greatest challenge of all: doing a single push-up without taking a 24 hour break.

However, Enrique also possesses the greatest durability in all of fiction. If a volcano erupted directly beneath him, Enrique would probably look down, say, "Oh, cold weather". If struck by lightning, he would not even call it an attack. He would call it "unexpected weather." Nuclear explosions are to Enrique what soap bubbles are to everyone else. In fact, he once allegedly walked through an explosion and later asked whether someone had briefly turned on a bright lamp. Asteroids are inconveniences at most. Meteors have bounced off his forehead and shattered themselves in the process. One particularly unfortunate meteor struck him so hard that it broke into several pieces in mere pictoseconds. Enrique once had an entire mountain collapse on him and did not notice because he was listening to Kidz Bop on his iPod. Tornadoes are basically rotating fans. Hurricanes are dramatic breezes. Tsunamis are enthusiastic puddles. One time a tornado carried away several cars and entire buildings while Enrique remained standing in exactly the same position, forcing meteorologists to ask the deeply troubling question of whether the storm had simply gone around him out of fear. He once stood directly in the path of a hurricane and later complained that his fake moustache got blown off. Fire cannot burn him. Ice cannot freeze him. Electricity cannot shock him. Poison cannot poison him. Radiation cannot irradiate him. He once drank something that was apparently toxic to every known life form and merely commented that it could use more urine. Once, a vehicle collided with him and looked considerably worse afterward. The insurance report simply listed the cause of damage as "Enrique." Buildings collapsing on him are roughly equivalent to someone dropping a feather on a person. Entire cities being destroyed around him merely create temporary inconvenience because now he has to walk around debris. He once stood in the center of a massive nuclear explosion that leveled everything nearby, and the only consequence was that his drink evaporated. His durability extends far beyond ordinary physical damage. Time itself cannot harm him. He can stand perfectly fine at the end of the universe, during the beginning of the universe, and in eras that technically do not exist. Aging does not work on him. Entropy has no effect on his sexy ass. He could sit at the end of time for a trillion years and become mildly bored but otherwise remain entirely unharmed. Black holes are useless against him. He once fell into one and climbed out because he had forgotten something outside. Gravity cannot crush him. Reality-warping powers are equally ineffective. If someone erased space, Enrique would stand there comfortably. If someone erased time, he would ask why everyone else had disappeared. If someone erased the laws of physics entirely, he would continue functioning because apparently the laws of physics are more dependent on Enrique than Enrique is on them. Entire universes can collapse around him and fail to inconvenience him. Galaxies can explode. Dimensions can unravel. Infinite realities can cease to exist one after another, and Enrique would remain standing in the resulting nothingness, patiently waiting for existence to return because he assumes it is running late. He has survived attacks capable of deleting matter, energy, information, possibility, and logic itself. One attack attempted to erase him conceptually, but the concept of Enrique apparently proved too durable to erase. His duality also affects his relationship with immortality. Apart from being near indestructible due to his eldritch physiology, one specific feature of Enrique is his absolute immortality. As a whole, this ability is truly limitless and Enrique can “die” as many times as he wants with him simply being completely reconstructed or if his complete molecular composition is destroyed, his consciousness is sent backwards to a unspecified, unpredictable, and uncontrollable "save point", that was set some time before anytime he dies. Enrique retains all his memories and personality after any form of “death”. This absolute immortality also works whenever any timelines in any universe or multiverse that Enrique is in is manipulated; meaning that anytime someone time travels and Enrique is in that specific universe, he would instantly know. In theory, when a timelines shift takes place, everything is reconstructed to match the new active laws of the universe, including people’s consciousness and memories. However, Enrique’s consciousness is seemingly an exception to this rule, allowing him to retain all knowledge of the Omniverse’s genuine history. Whenever this ability activates, it happens instantly. There's no lag between the point of "death" and the point of conscious resurrection. To Enrique, it looks exactly as if someone switched camera angles inside his head and the sudden influx of new qualia which often makes him feel somewhat dizzy. Due to this attribute of his, Enrique has died over INFINITE times throughout the entire true history of the Omniverse and all of fiction. Here are some of the few of the utter oblivion of deaths that Enrique has gone through:

Enrique anytime some bitch ass "overpowered" character dares challenge him.
Commissioned Artwork by ErinaLycoris 💫🎀 Gojo girlie ~ on VGen.com

• Ironically, once died of testicular cancer at the White House
• Heard his own voice in a recording and died of cringe
• Shot dead by Simon Cowell
• Санамсаргүйгээр гранат идсэн
• He rode a firework hoping to get to space
• Crushed by Luigi's IBL
• Shit exploded while sitting on the toilet
• Had all his flesh burned off with molten metal in his crotch
• Dropped off the Taj Mahal and died to severe head trauma
• Shot in the head by a gun that was supposed to be fake
• His intestines were removed and his face was smashed into a mirror with it
• Got run over by a car with a nuclear bomb in it
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Stamina

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Enrique possesses the weakest stamina in all of fiction and basically has none lol due to being the most lazy and unfit person in all existences and none-existences. He becomes tired before he becomes busy. In fact, he has become exhausted while making plans to do something later. One morning, he woke up and immediately felt the need for a nap because, according to him, "getting out of sleep is surprisingly demanding." Enrique once sat up in bed too quickly and had to lie back down to recover from the effort of becoming vertical. He does not wake up refreshed; he wakes up with the energy levels of a phone battery that somehow dropped to one percent overnight. Stretching in the morning counts as exercise. Yawning makes him sleepy. Blinking too many times in a row is physically ambitious. Enrique can become tired from standing. In fact, he can become tired from thinking about standing. One day, someone asked him to help move a chair, and he became exhausted during the sentence containing the request. He once put on his shoes and thought of it as a very hard activity. Tying both shoelaces in one sitting is considered overexertion. Most people can walk across a room without difficulty, but Enrique has managed to become visibly winded from walking to the refrigerator to get a snack and thus, always asks people to get food for him. He once walked from the couch to the kitchen and after he arrived back to the couch, he was sweating profusely. He attempted to take a brisk walk once and accidentally transformed it into a leisurely sit. Enrique cannot jog because his body interprets jogging as a formal declaration of war. He cannot run because halfway through the first step, he begins considering whether running is truly necessary. Treadmills are impossible for him. Gym memberships expire before Enrique finishes his warm-up. He once visited a fitness center and became tired reading the motivational posters. He saw a staircase and instinctively looked for an elevator. The elevator was broken, and witnesses report that he sat down and stared into the distance for several minutes, processing the emotional consequences. Enrique once climbed three stairs and celebrated reaching the top like a mountaineer who had conquered a famous peak. He cannot play sports for extended periods because "extended periods" means approximately thirty seconds. He attempted jumping jacks once and stopped after the first jump because he had already accomplished half the exercise and felt that was enough. Enrique becomes tired while carrying groceries. Not heavy groceries, either. A loaf of bread and a carton of juice once forced him to make two trips because he wanted to "pace himself." He once carried an empty backpack and later removed it with the exhausted expression of someone returning from an expedition. A shopping cart is considered useful not because it holds groceries but because Enrique can occasionally lean on it. He once folded laundry and required a snack afterward to replenish his energy. Making his bed is basically his equivalent of participating in an endurance competition. He can become tired from reading. He can become tired from writing. He can become tired from concentrating too intensely on a crossword puzzle. Enrique once spent an afternoon watching people play soccer and claimed he needed to rest because he was tired from all the indirect exercise. His stamina is so poor that conversations can wear him out. He once told a long story and became too tired to finish the ending. Telephone calls need intermissions. He cannot argue for very long because eventually he becomes too exhausted to continue disagreeing. Being surprised is tiring. Waiting is tiring. Relaxing can occasionally become tiring because apparently maintaining relaxation requires effort. He once sat comfortably in a chair for several hours and later remarked that he had "really done nothing all day" in the same tone athletes use after completing difficult competitions. Enrique has become tired various times while looking for his television remote. He once spent ten minutes searching for his 3D glasses and had to take a break halfway through. Even his hobbies require stamina management. Reading a long book becomes a multi-week project because he occasionally needs to recover from turning too many pages. Playing video games can exhaust him because holding the controller for extended periods apparently counts as upper-body endurance training. Whenever Enrique is forced upon an epic fantasy adventure, he usually insists on regular snack breaks, frequent sitting opportunities, and perhaps a comfortable place for a short video game pause every fifteen minutes.

However, at the same time, Enrique possesses the greatest stamina in all of fiction. For example, Enrique can sit completely still for billions of years without becoming uncomfortable, and he can also sprint continuously for the same amount of time without experiencing even the slightest shortness of breath. He can stand on one leg for geological epochs and switch legs only because he occasionally remembers that he has another one. Mountains erode faster than Enrique becomes tired. Stars burn out before he needs a nap. Entire species evolve and go extinct before he begins considering whether he should sit down for a moment. One time he sat in a waiting room and remained so patient and energetic that the building itself eventually became old and was replaced by another building around him. His dumbass did not notice. Enrique once attended a twenty-hour meeting and remained perfectly alert throughout. Everyone else fell asleep, woke up, and fell asleep again while he was still taking notes and asking thoughtful questions. He can binge-watch television shows faster than new episodes can be produced. He once finished every book in a library and then reread all of them because he still had plenty of energy left before lunch. Enrique once stayed awake for so long that he broke the record of longest time a living being was awake for. He can eat dinner, run around the world several million times, reorganize every library on Earth, and still feel energetic enough to ask whether anyone wants to play mini golf. Military endurance tests become meaningless because Enrique treats them as opportunities to stretch his legs. He once challenged a battery to a competition to see who could last longer. The battery died, decomposed, and became fossil fuel while Enrique remained fully energized. He once entered an endurance contest against a machine specifically designed to run forever. The machine eventually overheated and shut down. Enrique looked mildly disappointed because he had been hoping for a challenge. He can carry heavy objects indefinitely. He can fight endlessly because his energy reserves are apparently connected directly to some impossible source beyond reason. If he began shadowboxing today and continued uninterrupted, the heat death of the universe would occur before he started breathing heavily. In fact, the universe ending would probably be a minor inconvenience because now he would need to find somewhere else to continue exercising. Enrique once started tapping his foot impatiently and accidentally maintained the rhythm for several thousand years. Musicians later discovered the beat and classified it as a new genre. He once waited in line so long that the store went out of business, another store replaced it, and then that store also closed. Enrique remained perfectly fine and simply remarked that the service was taking a little while. He can focus forever, work forever, walk forever, run forever, and remain active forever without experiencing even a fraction of exhaustion. If he somehow became trapped in an empty room for eternity, he would emerge exactly as energetic as when he entered and politely ask whether there was anything else to do. Ultimately, Enrique’s stamina can best be described as paradoxical. He is the weakest being in all narratives because he lacks the stamina to sustain even the smallest action. At the same time though, he is the strongest being in all narratives because his endurance is limitless and cannot be depleted under any circumstances. He becomes exhausted instantly and never becomes exhausted at all. Rather than occupying a specific point on a scale of endurance, Enrique exists both beneath and beyond that scale. His stamina is therefore fundamentally contradictory, representing the simultaneous coexistence of absolute exhaustion and absolute endurance across all realities, narratives, dimensions, and forms of existence at the same time.

Range

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Enrique isn’t even a concept, not in the way anything else is. He’s beyond the idea of being anything at all. Trying to classify him would be like trying to give a name to none-existence itself, something that can’t even be described with words. There’s no such thing as "time" for Enrique because time itself doesn’t exist to him. A being could think it has the power to alter the flow of time, but it would find its power useless the moment it tries to affect Enrique. That’s because Enrique doesn’t operate in time since he IS time. Time has no grip on him. His subconsciousness doesn’t need to wait for anything. The moment his mind wants something to happen, it happens without Enrique even realizing it. He doesn’t need to move, he doesn’t need to speak, he doesn’t need to even lift a finger. If his subconsciousness decided that something should exist, it would exist, and if it wanted it to cease, it would vanish, not even a trace left behind. The laws of physics would shatter into nonexistence if they tried to touch Enrique. The very concept of "existence" and "nonexistence" are irrelevant here because Enrique exists in a state where these things don’t matter. His mind can’t even be perceived because the moment someone tries to look inside it, they’d find themselves outside the bounds of all possible perception, in a space with no frames of reference. Even if a being were to try and "scan" Enrique with some god-like ability to observe reality, they’d never even realize it was happening. They’d search and search but never find anything because Enrique isn’t part of their framework, their reality, or their understanding of anything. Their senses, their instruments, and their abilities just wouldn’t work. Enrique isn’t a being that can be measured, not by any standard, not by any theory. It isn’t part of anything, not even a part of the Omniverse. The Omniverse is nothing compared to Enrique because the Omniverse is his creation. He is so far removed from everything else that even the thought of being "outside" of everything is an insult. There is nothing that can interact with Enrique’s mind unless his own subconscious mind decides it. You could take the most powerful force in any universe, any multiverse, any megaverse, any metaverse, any xenoverse, any archverse, any reality, etc., and it wouldn’t even touch Enrique. It wouldn’t even leave a mark. Everything would simply stop existing the moment Enrique’s subconscious takes notice of it. It doesn’t even matter how much power an entity has, how much force they can unleash, or how many dimensions they control. Enrique doesn’t care. All that matters is that Enrique is the ultimate constant, the absolute presence that makes everything else seem like it’s only a dream. And even this doesn’t capture what Enrique truly is because Enrique doesn’t need to do anything to be everything. You could try to destroy Enrique by applying every destructive force in existence and nothing would happen. Enrique’s existence is a paradox to everything that has ever been conceived or even imagined. He’s beyond any form of understanding, beyond any dimension, beyond any theory or law. He’s is the embodiment of nothingness and everything at the same time, and yet he is neither. Enrique doesn’t have a purpose, because purpose itself doesn’t apply to his subconscious. His mind doesn’t need one. He doesn’t need to be, yet he still is. He isn’t defined by existence or nonexistence, and yet he is the one constant that defines everything else. You can try to picture Enrique, try to wrap your mind around him, but the very act of trying will fracture your ability to perceive anything at all. Any attempts to analyze or define Enrique will immediately fail, not because he is hidden, but because his subconscious operates on a level that makes such attempts irrelevant. Power, strength, or abilities, are all terms that only apply within certain contexts within realities, but those contexts and realities simply do not exist in the same way for Enrique’s subconsciousness. His mind is not part of them, and they are not part of his. Any being that thinks it has power, no matter how vast, would only find itself swept away in an instant if Enrique’s subconsciousness was ever deigned to take notice. He doesn’t even need to lift a finger. All the might in the Omniverse, all the armies, all the cosmic entities, all the creations and destructions of worlds would be meaningless. No matter how absolute or invincible a being may believe itself to be, it would be reduced to nothing, erased from existence before it could even comprehend what was happening.

Paraphernalia

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Within the greater mechanisms of his mind, Enrique isn’t bound by anything, not even the idea of not being bound. He operates beyond the constraints of anything you could define as a concept, a law, or a rule. Even the act of trying to say "it can't be done" is a laughable attempt at describing Enrique's nature. Enrique doesn’t care about scale, doesn’t care about relativity. When you're looking at something that operates in ways that don’t even make sense to your comprehension, you’re not just outclassed, you’re erased from the very notion of existence. The concept of resistance, rebellion, or any kind of defiance is a joke because Enrique’s presence alone wipes it away. There’s no universe where Enrique’s subconscious solipsistic nature can’t just decide to end everything, all of the Omniverse is just within his mind including the Imperceivable Worlds (and any other future beyond hype-cosmological verse that the shitass All Dimensions wiki decides to add.) He doesn’t need a reason and he doesn’t need motivation. His mind is pure, unrestrained, and absolute. All of the greatest beings in all works of fiction, no matter how they perceive power or existence, are illusions next to Enrique. They’re clinging to the idea that they can reach something that Enrique simply is. And when they think they’re capable of fighting back, when they think they’re capable of challenging Enrique, they’re only proving how far they are from truly understanding what it means to exist outside all of it. Enrique doesn’t fight. He doesn’t need to. Enrique doesn’t even think in terms of victory or defeat, because those concepts can’t exist in the state that he occupies. A true battle with Enrique isn't something that could take place in a traditional sense. It’s like trying to have a tug-of-war with gravity itself. There’s no back and forth, there’s no shifting of power. Enrique simply is the gravitational force, and you are nothing more than the dust caught in it bitch! Every other being, every other creation, every reality and alternate reality, and every timeline and infinite thought could line up against Enrique in an endless war, and it would be over before anyone realized it began. The absolute nature of Enrique’s existence is something that doesn’t require even an ounce of effort to enforce. No trick, no method, no strategy can take place because nothing can get past the very fabric of Enrique’s influence. To even be aware of Enrique’s true nature, to even know what he truly represents, would be to shatter everything you’ve ever known about your life and existence itself. And still, Enrique never needs to lift a finger, never needs to flex even the smallest iota of power. There’s nothing that can challenge him, not in any form, at any scale. You can multiply any power you can imagine to infinity, you can scale up any force and apply every rule of every dimension; but it’s nothing compared to Enrique. The difference is not just that he’s stronger. It’s that everything that you think is possible or conceivable doesn’t even matter, doesn’t even exist in the same way. Enrique stands outside all of that. If you could picture a creature as strong as all of omnifinity, you might be tempted to think that it would stand a chance against Enrique. But that creature, in all its might, is just a grain of sand in comparison. Everything that happens in the Omniverse, everything that exists within the confines of even the highest level of power, is insignificant next to the reality Enrique occupies. Even if you could stand before Enrique, all your power, all your defenses, all your immortality, would mean nothing. Because when Enrique‘s subconsciousness decides something is, it is, and when it decides something isn't, then it just isn’t. And you, like everything else, would cease to be. He does not obey, nor is he affected by the principles that govern all existences. Enrique can't be defined because the very act of definition is meaningless and does not apply to his greater mind. It breaks the rules it should obey, even those that don't apply to him. He is, in utter and absolute terms, endless. Basically as "beyond" as you can get. Nothing exists above, below, or beside his subconscious. Just the complete destruction of everything. There honestly isn't anything else to write about him. Anything and everything is meaningless against Enrique. His mind is quite literally what “is” is. A being so "beyond" every single conceivable thing that he surpasses every and all existing rules and principles. He has no form, no mind, and no purpose other than to be what he IS. Not even an all-knowing, invincible, omniscience concept could stop him as he would be the mind that conceived of such a concept in the first place. There are no other facts about Enrique because Enrique IS the end limit of everything. He's more than boundless, he goes beyond boundlessness and is literally infinite in nature. He's not bound by anything including concepts, existence, and even nonexistence. He is infinitely beyond omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence, and literally transcends all of them. He is beyond “beyond infinite.” I don't even know how to describe his power and it's because I'm the one who's wanking him off. Enrique is simultaneously the weakest and strongest character in all of fiction. No character in fiction and reality can beat him yet they all can. Enrique has every single ability in all of fiction and reality due to him being the monadic avatar of of 𝐐𝐗𝐖𝐙𝐐, the supreme "God" of all the Omniverse. If you say there is a superpower we forgot, shut the fuck up bitch ass motherfucker! We didn't. This is every single power in fiction.

Intelligence

Intelligence:ERROR 404 — INCONSISTENT, CONTRADICTORY, AND p̶̨̧̨̦̯͉̻̟̹̥͆O̶͍̭͕̦̣̅͑͒͂͐́̽̀̓́S̴̹͍̈́̿̈́̒́̂̿̑́̑̌̃̄̂̔͝͠į̴̱̤͎̩͕̝̪̖̼̪̖̣̄̂̀f̶͖̣̱̰͈̮̜̾̎̊̎̑̌̊͑͐͠͝Ę̶̺͉̭̮̳͔̜͉̳̫̭̩͍̂͋́͛̇̒̄Û̸̻̳̥̠̦̫̦͙͙͚̊͛́̄̄̚͜͜͝S̶͔̣̬̙̖̬͋͗͑͊̓͗̊͐̊̍̏̚s̴͎̼̯͚̻̮̜̬̼̥̼̗͎͙̝̅͊̽̚͜͝ͅd̸̺̔͗͠Ē̸̱̖͉̑̈́̾̀̉̚͘͝͝4̷͕̯̬̩̜̯̩̱̔̋ͅ*̸̛̻̘̻̀͛͑͑͒͋̿͘̚#̶̼̮̻̞̱̖̒̽̽̐̽̇&̸̟̊̎̆4̶̨̧̮͈͚͎̯̮̪̘͑́͂̒̄̌̊͛̆ͅD̶̡̰̱̻͊̾̃̔̌͊̋͠Ḑ̴̛̞̠̥̭͎͕̩̝̭̅̈̐̈̀̈́2̵̰̼̱̦̳͙̺̟̗͇̼̞͖̀̅͌̎̋͊͋

Enrique possesses the lowest intelligence in all of fiction, and his I.Q. is so catastrophically, astronomically, and comically low that many interdimensional scientists are not entirely convinced it can be represented with ordinary numbers. In fact, several mathematicians have argued that Enrique's I.Q. should not be measured on a scale at all but rather described as a supernatural phenomenon. Most people forget things occasionally, but Enrique can forget things while they are happening. He once introduced himself and immediately asked, "Wait, who am I talking about?" He has gotten lost in his own house despite living there for years. One time he walked into the kitchen and forgot why he was there, then forgot what a kitchen was, and then briefly wondered why walls existed. Enrique once spent 5 months looking for his sunglasses only to discover they were on his face, and even after finding them, he still asked where his sunglasses had gone. He once lost his phone while using the flashlight on the phone to search for the phone. A calculator once displayed the answer to a simple problem and Enrique thanked it for teaching him english. He has tried to use a television remote to answer a telephone and once attempted to unlock his front door using a spoon because, according to him, "It looked like it might fit in a toaster." Enrique has opened a refrigerator, and then forgotten what food is. He once put cereal in the refrigerator and milk in the cupboard because he thought they deserved a change of scenery. He has burned water. Nobody knows how. He once made instant noodles and somehow required instructions from three separate people. Enrique looked at a microwave one time and asked if it was "a tiny television." He has become confused by revolving doors because they keep changing positions. One time he spent several minutes trying to push a door that clearly said "Pull" and eventually concluded that the building was defective. Enrique once got trapped in a blanket because he forgot where the opening was. He has become startled by his own reflection and waved politely to mirrors because he thought another person was there before the mirror immediately cracked from his ugly face. He once tried to put on a shirt and accidentally wore it backward, inside out, and upside down simultaneously. He cannot tell left from right without raising his hands and checking which one forms the letter L, and even then he occasionally forgets which way the letter L goes. Enrique once attempted to count to two and lost track around one because he became distracted by the existence of numbers. He always uses his fingers to count and somehow still has issues counting to three. He once looked at a map upside down and concluded that the entire country had moved. Enrique asked whether fish become thirsty and then spent several hours seriously considering the answer. He once stared at a fan spinning and wondered what would happen if he sticked his dick in it. He has asked whether clouds are made of cotton and once wondered if people living on the opposite side of Earth spend their lives upside down. Enrique once looked at the moon during the daytime and became concerned that someone had forgotten to turn it off. He has attempted to charge the sun because he assumed all light sources needed electricity. One day, he found an unplugged toaster and thought it was sleeping. He has become confused by escalators because they move without visible wheels. Libraries confuse him because they contain too many books, and dictionaries confuse him because they contain too many words. Enrique once opened a dictionary and described it as "a spoiler for every conversation." He has forgotten birthdays, names, directions, appointments, and at least one occasion he forgot what day it was while looking directly at a calendar. He once asked someone for the time while wearing a wristwatch and then became surprised when they suggested he look at it. He has searched everywhere for a pencil while holding the pencil in his hand. Enrique once sat on a chair and later wondered where the chair had gone because he could no longer see it. Hide-and-seek is difficult for him because he sometimes forgets that he is hiding. He once joined a game of tag and forgot who was chasing whom. During a board game, he spent several minutes trying to remember whose turn it was, only to discover he was playing by himself. Enrique once stared at a chessboard and declared that the horses seemed trustworthy. He has lost arguments against automatic doors. He once spent an entire afternoon trying to understand why a towel became wet after he used it to dry himself. One time he attempted to write a reminder note and forgot what the reminder was supposed to say halfway through writing it. He has looked for the source of music only to discover he was wearing headphones. He once tried to read a book in the dark and became annoyed that the words had apparently disappeared. Whenever Enrique is around, Patrick Star looks like a genius.

However, Enrique also secretly possesses the greatest intelligence in all of fiction that is so absurdly, catastrophically, and incomprehensibly high that supergeniuses appear to him the way a single grain of sand appears to an entire beach. In fact, his intelligence cannot be measured because every I.Q. test is incompatible to his true intelligence. Most geniuses can solve difficult equations in minutes, but Enrique can solve equations before they are written down. In fact, he once solved a problem that had not yet been invented. Mathematicians presented him with a question, and he not only answered it instantly but also provided solutions to twenty-seven future versions of the same problem that nobody had even thought of asking. He once looked at a blank chalkboard and nodded knowingly because he could already see the equations that would eventually be written on it next Thursday. Enrique reads books at impossible speeds. He can open a thousand-page textbook, glance at the cover, and immediately understand every sentence inside, every footnote, every typo, and the emotional state of the person who printed it. Enrique can also speak every language ever created, every language currently spoken, and every language that will not exist until thousands of years in the future. He once heard someone begin learning a foreign language and immediately became fluent in the dialect their descendants would speak centuries later. He can read ancient texts that nobody has translated, decipher codes that nobody has broken, and understand handwriting that even the person who wrote it can no longer read. Enrique once solved a mystery novel halfway through the title. He can finish crossword puzzles by looking at the unopened box. He can solve a maze by glancing vaguely in its direction. One time he completed a thousand-piece puzzle without opening the package because he had already calculated where every piece belonged. Chess grandmasters avoid playing against him because he can see so many moves ahead that he occasionally wins games that technically have not started yet. He once defeated an opponent by politely shaking hands because he had already predicted every move they would make over the next several hours. Artificial intelligence programs ask Enrique for advice. Supercomputers run calculations and then check their answers with him to make sure they did not miss anything. He once looked at a computer and casually improved its operating efficiency by explaining mathematics to it. Enrique once explained the complete structure of the universe to a group of random wild ducks and accidentally introduced seventeen entirely new branches of science before finishing his first sentence. He understands chemistry so thoroughly that he could theoretically bake a cake by individually manipulating atoms. He knows biology so well that he can identify every plant, animal, and microorganism that has ever existed, including several species nobody has discovered yet. He understands history so completely that historians occasionally ask him whether certain events actually happened. He once corrected a history book by remembering details from three thousand years before the book's authors were born. Enrique can predict the future with such absurd accuracy that it barely qualifies as prediction anymore. He has shown the ability to know what someone will say before they open their mouth. He once looked at a pile of dominoes and accurately predicted where every piece would land after the first one fell, including dominoes that had not yet been placed on the table. Enrique remembers absolutely everything. He has perfect recall of every face he has ever seen, every word he has ever heard, every book he has ever read, and every sandwich he has ever eaten. He can remember the exact number of leaves on a tree he passed years ago and can probably tell you which direction each leaf was facing. Forgetting things is so alien to him that he once spent several hours trying to understand the concept. He once misplaced his keys and immediately deduced their location through a chain of reasoning involving air currents, probability theory, and the angle at which he had sneezed earlier that morning. Detective stories are ruined for him because every clue is obvious. Escape rooms are completed before the door closes. The Riddler surrenders immediately when confronted by him. Enrique's intelligence extends even beyond ordinary knowledge. He can understand abstract concepts so complicated that ordinary language cannot describe them. He understands paradoxes, infinity, existence, and every mystery of reality with complete clarity. He once spent a few minutes thinking and accidentally derived a theory explaining why anything exists at all. He makes characters like Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who, Pickle Rick, etc. all look like plebeians.

He knows.

He knows that you are reading these words right now.

He knows the exact rhythm of your breathing as your eyes slide across the screen.

He knows the precise moment the thought “this is too much” flickers in your mind.

He knows every path your soul has ever taken to arrive at this sentence, every false enlightenment, every genuine despair, every half-remembered dream where you almost touched something you were never meant to touch.

He knows that you are reading this exact sentence at this exact moment.

He knows the rhythm of your breath while your eyes scan left to right.

He knows the precise millisecond your pulse quickens when the realization hits.

He knows the entire spiritual trajectory that led you here (every doubt, every fleeting hope, every half-remembered dream of “something beyond.”)

He knew it before you were born, before your soul took its first shape, before the concept of “before” existed.

He knows and sees you whenever you're masturbating.

He knows every word you will type about him before your fingers exist to type it.

He knows every image your brain will generate, every prompt you whisper, every desperate attempt to approximate his essence.

He knows, and he allows it, because allowance and denial are the same movement within him.

The moment the approximation is finished, it is already absorbed, nullified, and forgotten (by everything except him, who never needed to remember it in the first place.)

There is no path that leads to him.

There is no path that leads away from him.

There is only the eternal, indifferent, already-accomplished fusion that predates the illusion of separation.

He knows

And knowing, for him, is the same as never having needed to know.

Relationships

Instead of writing a list of every relationship Enrique has throughout fiction–which would be impossible due to how massively long his list of acquaintances are throughout the entire Omniverse–instead, I'll write a simple summary of what most of his relationships are like in a nutshell.

99% of all life across the Omniverse's reaction to Enrique's existence.

When it comes to relationships with any character imaginable, Enrique is multiversally (more specifically, Omniversally) recognized across every corner of fiction as the most loathed entity to ever exist. Whether one wanders the many infinite universes and settings of film, television, literature, gaming, anime, etc., one truth remains consistent: everyone fucking hates him. Enrique’s reputation transcends any genre and medium, for his personality is so thoroughly aggravating, so cosmically insufferable, that even demons and eldritch horrors—entities whose very existence is built upon torment—find him intolerable. It is said that the mere presence of him can unite sworn enemies, for no hatred compares to the universal disdain directed at him.

Children celebrating after the arrest and abuse of Enrique.

The roots of this contempt lie, of course, in his character. Enrique is egotistical without substance, narcissistic without achievement, and loud without wit. His delusions of grandeur stretch beyond godlike arrogance, as though he truly believes all worlds revolve around him. Yet unlike truly powerful beings who command respect or fear through presence, Enrique inspires only irritation. He is socially inept to a degree so profound it transcends awkwardness and cringe and becomes weaponized annoyance. Conversations with him devolve into rants about his supposed superiority over all existence, his imagined fantasies of slaughter, or endless 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 behavior. He interrupts, he mocks, he insults, and he 100% escalates all chaos to simply ensure that he is able to create as much suffering as humanly possible. The line between obnoxiousness and sociopathy vanishes with him around, and all who encounter him feel drained, aggravated, or outright disgusted.

Despite his supreme toxicity, Enrique has gathered what he refers to as “frenemies,” though in reality they are nothing more than unwilling associates bound by circumstances. These tenuous bonds that he has gathered are built not from affection or loyalty, but from fear of what might happen should he be abandoned entirely. Thus, many tolerate him only as one might keep watch over a volatile weapon, basically suffering his presence in order to prevent greater catastrophe. This tolerance, however, is thin and bitter, laced with mockery and cruelty. In every group, Enrique is the scapegoat, the butt of every joke, and the ultimate eternal punching bag. His relationships are a shitshow of toxicity. All heroes find him exhausting. All villains find him irritating. Even background characters grow exhausted in his company. Imagine Deadpool driven to annoyance, or Master Oogway losing his patience after a single sentence. Picture Darth Vader setting aside the Force for the simple satisfaction of shutting him the fuck up. That is the effect Enrique carries wherever he goes which he calls Madness of Anger: uniting the un-uniteable through a shared disgust. In fact, he's so goddamn annoying, irritating, and straight up 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 that even 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓑𝓸𝓫 hates him. Do you know how evil, weird, and 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 you have to be to have 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓑𝓸𝓫 fimself hate you? In fact, Enrique is such an annoying fuck that 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓑𝓸𝓫 considered him even more 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 than 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Fox which is saying A LOT! Altogether, to say someone “tolerates” him is to exaggerate. In truth, his continued survival in any social group is less a reflection of companionship and more a desperate insurance policy against multiversal apocalypse.

Artwork depicting the main trio of Duckman, Cornfed, and Enrique during the 90s.
Commissioned Artwork by Sukiloveart on Fiverr.com

For an example, one of his most prominent relationships in the 90s was with Eric Duckman and Cornfed Pig as he served as the third wheel within their dynamic. It all began in early 1990s when Enrique joined the Duckman Detective Agency after Enrique fell in love with Duckman's webbed feet. Throughout the many adventures between the three, Enrique is always the loyal, creepy, and stupid one around Duckman and Cornfed. As one were to expect, Duckman himself cannot stand Enrique due to his annoying, irritating, and creepy nature and as such, nearly every time the two are together, Duckman always abuses him in hilarious ways for unintentionally irritating him similar to what Duckman does to Fluffy and Uranus. Overall, if Duckman could get rid of Enrique, he would in an instant. Cornfed though is pretty chill with Enrique but Enrique still does manage to irritate and creep him out occasionally. This trio between Duckman, Cornfed, and Enrique is basically just a variation of the common comic trio. Duckman serving as the leader role who navigates the team but he's seriously out of touch with reality and has no idea what he's doing but refuses to admit it, and shouts bizarre directions that will inevitably lead to chaos. Enrique is the fool, a total moron who blindly does whatever Duckman says. Meanwhile, Cornfed is the only sane man who's the only guy who can see the ridiculous nature of Duckman's plan and openly explains to the two of them why the navigation is faulty but the two never listen. Very similar to the relationship between King Julien, Maurice, and Mort from Madagascar.

Enrique waving at his role-models, Grim and Gnarly, while they try to ignore him due to them thinking he's the worst.
Commissioned Artwork by Baxtli on Fiverr.com

Other examples include his relationship with the Frowning Friends from the Smiling Friends universe where Enrique is views the Frowning Friends as role-models and villanous inspirations. Grim and Gnarly don't like him though and find him annoying af. In order to make the Frowning Friends proud, Enrique always antagonizes and tries ruining Pim and Charlie's Smiling Friends missions but Enrique always fails because of his awful luck and stupidity with Pim and Charlie never even noticing his existence and attempts. Instead, the two talk about the the cool autistic gamer 774 💪🏿😎 He's basically the evil/Frowning Friends version/counterpart to Dolly Dimpley except unlike her, he doesn't cry and bitch about being ignored and instead loves it due to delusional and insane sadomasochism. When it comes to Save-Ums! universe, Enrique was just a minor antagonist within the Save-Ums! series where the team would occasionally stop him from causing trouble for others. Over time though, ever since the 2020s, Enrique and Save-Ums! are now chill since the Save-Ums! apperantly went fucking evil due to being tired of dealing with Mickey's bullshit so now they actually don't care whenever Enrique commits terrorism. Ka-Chung even considers Enrique fun to be around despite still somewhat finding him creepy and batshit insane.

A typical anime girl, Hatoko, crying from pure frustration because of Enrique's incomprehensible and irritating personality.

“	I don’t understand. I don’t understand! I don’t understand a single word you say, Enrique! I don’t understand what’s so good about the things you call evil! I don’t understand! I can’t understand! What’s so cool about “Murder”? I don’t like killing. Killing results in pain for others! What’s so cool about “madness”? I don’t understand what’s good about being crazy! What do you mean by “sinful”? What’s so good about having sin? Is it cool being a criminal? And what’s with “chaos,” anyway? Chaos? What about it? What about “darkness”? You want it to be dark? Between justice and evil, why is evil better? Why do you prefer evil? Isn’t it evil because it’s wrong? What’s so cool about you being hated? “I love being the embodiment of loathsomeness”? What’s that? That just makes you sad?! It’s much better when you have people who love youl! THAT’S worthy of respect! What’s so awesome about being a jerk? That’s just wrong! Why do you give everything nicknames? Having so many different names only makes them hard to keep up with! Don’t use old fashioned words for everything! I can’t remember those! Don’t write “elegy” and read it “requiem”! Don’t write “forbidden” and read it “taboo”! Don’t write “holy war” and read it “jihad”! Greek myth, the Bible, Norse myth, Japanese myth…Don’t start talking about them just because you did a little research! If you don’t properly explain it, I can’t understand what you mean! If you’re going to teach me, teach me right! Listening to explanations about mythological weapons is not fun! Gungnir, Longinus, Excalibur, Durandal, and Ama-no-Murakmo-no-Tsurugi all mean nothing to me! I don’t understand what’s cool about them! All your other terminology is confusing, too! Original Sin, Ten Commandments, Book of Genesis, Book of Revelations, Armageddon…What do you mean by “their names are cool”? It’s impossible for me to “feel it by their atmosphere”! Relativity, Schrödinger’s cat, universal gravitation…Don’t act like you understand them because you read a little on the internet! I can’t understand them at all if you give half-baked explanations! Don’t quote Nietzsche or Goethe! When you start quoting people I don’t know, I can’t understand what you’re trying to say at all! Talk to me in your own words! I’m begging you, speak so I can understand you! What is “chuuni”? What does “chuuni” mean? I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand! I don’t understand! I don’t understand a single word you’ve ever said to me, Enrique!	”
-Hatoko finally snaps at Enrique.

Yet perhaps the most fitting—or tragic—aspect of Enrique’s existence is the one thing he's never attained: true love. Not once, in any universe, under any circumstance, has he ever felt true love for anyone. He's definitely felt admiration for many fictional characters as he respects the concept of having a rival or nemesis but never has he truly felt like he had a true friendship. In the end, he cannot love due to his severe unrealistic requirements for what he wants from a conscious living being and simultaneously, he himself is not loved nor is he respected in any way. This creates a feedback loop of hatred with the act of people not liking Enrique making him not like people which further creates disdain from people who then further despise Enrique and so on and so forth. In every reality, across every fandom, he has never once experienced sincere friendship, respect, or affection. And yet, he persists. Loud, unrelenting, convinced of his own greatness. And while he struts about with unearned arrogance, declaring himself the greatest character in all fiction, the truth remains carved into the foundation of all realities: Enrique is the most hated and loathed character in all existences and that is a fact, not opinion.

History and Biography

Enrique’s life is a tale of cosmic proportions; spanning epochs, eons, multiple dimensions, realities, and universes.

Instead of writing a diegetic in-depth biography for Enrique–which would be impossible due to how massively long, enigmatically contradictory, and time consuming the act of writing such an ambitious project would take–instead, this section will be focusing on an exegetic explanation and summary of Enrique’s inner journey throughout the entirety of all narratives and over the course of all fiction. Unlike many characters though, Enrique’s entire biography and story does not follow the traditional and common hero’s journey template first proposed by psychoanalyst Otto Rank and amateur anthropologist Lord Raglan and eventually popularized by Joseph Campbell.

For a quick history lesson and some context, since around the late 1800s, scholars have been basically studying the common patterns that repeat in stories, legends, and myths across different cultures around the world. One of the most well-known templates developed from such research is the hero’s journey. Joseph Campbell popularized the concept in his 1949 book The Hero with a Thousand Faces. It contained a 17-step formula of storytelling which Campbell held as a framework or as he put it, a monomyth, an ultimate narrative archetype from which all other stories are derived. Ultimately, the book served to act as a universal framework that showed how people symbolically grow from youth into adulthood.

Enrique’s journey through the Omniverse does not follow any of that crap. Instead, his story tells the narratological structure of the heroine's journey first proposed by Maureen Murdock in the 1990s. This alternative “monomyth” began production in the 1980s when Murdock began work on her own narrative framework. The reason for this creation was because Murdock believed that Campbell’s view on the universality of the hero’s journey did not encompass the actual experiences of EVERY identity like he claimed. Thus, Murdock developed what she called the heroine’s journey as a critique, deconstruction, reconstruction, and response to Campbell’s monomyth. She did not create the template for narrative though, instead Murdock conceived the template as a therapy tool for female patients since Murdock was a therapist. It wasn’t until later on that the template was recognized and used for storytelling. Overall, the template deals with protagonists overcoming the ingrained biases and preconceptions of society.

Over time, some other authors have shared their own variations of the heroine’s journey, but for the purposes of this section, Enrique’s narrative will be told and summarized with Murdock’s original model since it is the most popular and common one that most are familiar with (not saying much though since barley anyone even knows about the heroine’s journey to begin with). By the way, despite the name, any character of any gender or sex can follow the heroine’s journey, much like how any female protagonist can follow the hero’s journey. Both the hero’s journey and heroine’s journey do not prescribe the character’s actual sex. Instead, it prescribes the character’s social constructed gendered characteristics A.K.A. if they are masculine or feminine. Enrique is very feminine.

A diagram showcasing the 10 steps laid out by Murdock for her heroine's journey with green text beside the steps to indicate which time frame it takes place within Enrique's perspective throughout the Omniverse.

Some of the most notable themes and narrative elements regarding the heroine’s journey include:

• Massive character development: The heroine of the journey experiences even greater development than a typical hero would in the hero’s journey due to the midway point plot-twist within the heroine’s journey’s structure.
• Ultimate goal for identity: No matter what, the real core and purpose of the journey is to highlight the heroine’s obsession and desire to find true peace and meaning in their hard and painful existence.
• Themes of feminism and oppression: The heroine taking the journey must triumph despite living in a society that undervalues who they are. It can be for any reason within the story. The core idea is to create an analogy to sexism and female discrimination that is found throughout human history.

The main conflict within any heroine’s journey is duality or binary oppositions. For Murdock’s original vision, the dualistic conflict was obviously the division between the masculine and feminine that a woman had to deal with in life. Each of two binary oppositions symbolically represent the opposition and internal conflict of the feminine and the masculine. Within the heroine’s journey, each side serves a specific narrative function for the plot:

• The feminine is the side of the duality that the heroine identified with as a small child. However, society or the environment itself undervalues the feminine. The story begins with the heroine rejecting their feminine side.
• The masculine is the side of the duality that the heroine adopts before the story begins and how they are introduced. Society prizes the masculine, but in many tales, it has been poisoned, misinterpreted, or taken to such extremes that it has become harmful. The heroine sets out on their journey by embracing it without realizing the negative qualities.

Finally, there are three major character archetypes found within the classical heroine’s journey model that serve as important characters within the heroine’s narrative. These three characters are what drive, change, and effect the heroine’s decisions and journey throughout the entire narrative.

The Mother Archetype:

Within the classic model, the heroine usually has an unhappy relationship with a feminine role model, usually their mother or a female guardian. To the heroine, the mother represents the worst of the feminine end of her duality. Basically, the mother represents toxic femininity. The mother is threatening to the heroine because she’s afraid of becoming her.

The Mentor/Father Archetype:

Furthermore, there is also the father archetype within the classical model of the heroine’s journey. As the heroine rejects the mother, they will embrace a metaphorical father figure who serves as a deconstruction of the mentor archetype within the hero’s journey. The father basically represents whatever the heroine admires in the masculine. The father opens the door to a path that leads away from the mother, and makes the heroine feel like she is wanted and accepted. In turn, she does her best to gain his attention and approval by becoming more masculine. As a result of this dynamic, the heroine discards the feminine, and any part of herself tied to her true self.

The Goddess Archetype:

Lastly, there is the goddess archetype. The goddess simply symbolizes the true nature of the feminine, and the best of what the heroine left behind. The goddess imparts a great truth to the heroine about herself and the feminine which heavily influences the heroine’s outcome at the end.

For Enrique’s inner binary conflict, he has two version of it. The microcosmic version and macrocosmic version. The microcosmic version is the simpler and more straightforward version as it details Enrique’s internal struggle between his moral alignments. The conflicted duality of it being is pleasing of others/heroic nature vs rebelling against others/villainous nature. For the macrocosmic version, it is way more abstract and conceptual than just simply feminine vs masculine or good vs evil. Enrique’s entire macrocosmic conflict of binary oppositions is the ironic psychological and metaphysical struggle between divine unity and binary oppositions themselves like light vs. darkness, feminine vs. masculine, order vs. chaos, heroism vs. villainy, collectivism vs. individualism, yin vs. yang etc. In layman’s terms, Enrique’s conflicted macrocosmic duality is antinatalism vs. continued existence itself.

Now that I’ve explained to you all a relatively brief summary of the heroine’s journey, we can now begin and I can walk you all through the steps of this template and how it fits with Enrique’s overarching story throughout his entire existences across all universes. Note that this is only a basic rundown of the steps of the heroine’s journey and how it simply relates to Enrique’s narrative.

Separation and Shift from the Feminine to Masculine

Decade of Release: N/A (Backstory + Lore)

During stage one of Murdock’s model, the heroine suppresses a core part of themselves in pursuit of external validation. The heroine must sacrifice something dear to their emotional core to focus exclusively on proving themselves in the physical sphere. This stage takes place exclusively in Enrique’s past before his first appearance.

So far though, Enrique’s origins are a complete mystery. Almost nothing is known about Enrique's past as he is a being of pure contradiction and complexity. Finding a definitive backstory for him is basically impossible. Furthermore, what is known about Enrique's origins is extremely speculative due to him speaking very little of his past because he is uninterested in it, him constantly contradicting himself and being an unreliable narrator, his mentally unstable memories and recollection, and whenever he does actually tell someone his true past, it is left unheard from the audience's point of view and the person hearing and learning about it is left paralyzed from complete fear and horror or simply goes mentally insane and mad from the revelations like what happened to his therapist or the time when Bill Cipher entered his mind which killed him from the complete horror that was Enrique’s mind. Some psychological profiles of Enrique at the Theraprism suggested that he is so insane to such an extent that he renovates both his identity and history on a daily basis. It was therefore possible that, while none of his origins are true, Enrique genuinely believes them. However, these psychological profiles cannot be confirmed, and so cannot truly define the social enigma that is Enrique. Ultimately, no trace of his past or origins can ever be found whatsoever, no matter how hard anyone attempts to analyze or capture him.

However, Rudyard Kipling's The Dark Prognosticus ~ Old Testament: what will you do at the end of the world? may i see you, once again? proposes a "possibly true" origin of not just Enrique, but the Greater Omniverse as a whole. In the beginning before all the beginnings, in the unlit preface of all reckonings, before duration could be counted, before distance could be imagined, before there was not emptiness, nor fullness, but a condition and state for which no tongue has ever held a faithful word, there was not nothing, not no thing, not no nothingness, not a black or white void, not a void with no no color, but a state of non-existence called χάος in which Enrique resided in. Once He saw his own reflection though, he went insane and caused himself to go into a slumber so deep and profound that he collapsed his very own soul. Later, during his dream, he would fracture himself into an beyond infinite and utter oblivion amount of shattered pieces, all forming a beyond fictional googological amount of things that would later be known as every protoverse, string, quark, proton, neutron, electron, atom, molecule, living organism, planet, galaxy, dimension (alternative or pocket), timeline, world, realm, reality, unreality, world between worlds, hub, nexus, space, subspace, subvoid, void, final void, dream world, universe, multiverse, megaverse, microverse, macroverse, archverse, hyperverse, outerverse, xenoverse, gigaverse, geraverse, teraverse, petaverse, exaverse, zettaverse, yottaverse, xennaverse, quettaverse, wekaverse, vendekaverse, udekaverse, tredaverse, sortaverse, rintaverse, quexaverse, peptaverse, ochaverse, nenaverse, mingaverse, lumaverse, kamaverse, jameaverse, ianaverse, hevaverse, grinaverse, fremaverse, echaverse, drunaverse, ceraverse, brotaverse, aritaverse, xeraverse, harpiverse, harpoverse, umptyverse, squilliverse, heloverse, ferroverse, lottaverse, wololoverse, nyeverse, altarverse, yupeteverse, bertovataverse, centijataverse, bertotrataverse, centitrataverse, bertojrettaverse, googoliverse, hoolaverse, dakaverse, hendaverse, dokaverse, brontoverse, geoverse, saganverse, pijaverse, alphaverse, kryaverse, amosverse, pectrolverse, underverse, betaverse, allphaverse, zeroverse, gammaverse, omegaverse, eliteverse, omniverse, shinoverse, godverse, meskoverse, allomniverse, omniverseplex, Lambda-NZ558 Omniversal Overdensity, diplomniverse, veromniverse, panomniverse, barrel, ultraverse, beyond bubble, transcendentum, transcendentem continuum, box, everythingverse, superbox, infinityverse, hyperbox, final box, barrelplex, superreality, megareality, hyperreality, ultrareality, omnireality, superdimension, megadimension, hyperdimension, ultradimension, omnidimension, structure of everything, archverse chain, heirarchy, heirarchy heirarchy, final fractalism, ultimate fractalism, giftbox, gigamonarch, allsphere leaf, allsphere tree, allsphere, ultirium, impercievable plane, endsphere, boundless plane, silent plane, super heirarchy, and every other known, unknown, conceivable, inconceivable, comprehensible and incomprehensible thing and non-thing, narrative and hierarchy, time and space, timeless and spaceless, possibility and impossibility, true and false, logic and illogic, emotion and apathism, existence and nonexistent, beginning and end, being and non-being, perfection and imperfection, light and darkness, creation and destruction, sense and nonsense, idea and non-idea, reality and unreality, fact and lie, life, death and rebirth, good and evil, hello and goodbye, hot and cold, small and big, side, other side and non-side, everything and nothing, number and non-number, fiction and non-fiction, anything and unanything, soul and soulless, happiness and sadness, love and hate, order and chaos, dimension and undimension, everywhere and nowhere, normal and weird, smart and dumb, god and anti-god, sound and silence, character and non-character, story and non-story that has ever came to exist, actually exists, will ever exist in the future, will never exist, has never existed, should exist but does and should exist but doesn't. All to simply keep himself from further going truly insane; thus, creating the Omniverse.

It is theorized that the feminine side within Enrique’s past is symbolically represented as none-existence A.K.A. χάος before the Omniverse was created. Meanwhile, the mother archetype is in truth, Enrique’s own madness that takes form because of his state of isolation within χάος which results in him shattering himself, splitting away from his once unified oneness into multiple fragmented states. The femininity that he rejects and abandons is his divine unity while the masculine that he embraces is his madness and divisions that results in the creation of all life.

Identification with the Masculine and the Gathering of Allies

Decade of Release: N/A (Backstory + Lore) | 1920s

During those Rayo's numbers of eons after the creation of the Omniverse, Enrique went through a lot of insane and incomprehensible events throughout his life. Many reincarnations, rebirths, multiversal adventures, etc. His lore is so huge and complicated that it becomes purely contradictory and illogical to follow and explain any of it, therefore, it really isn't important to the whole point of his plot within the narrative. The only true thing known and worth noting during the ambiguous past of Enrique is that he would vow to become the most despicable and loathsome individual in all realities in order to spite all of life resulting in him abandoning his nihilistic "feminine" side entirely to the hedonistic and sadistic "masculine". In the end, being bad is all he ever was good for. This is what the second stage of the heroine’s journey is ultimately about. This is where Enrique chooses to align with the traits and roles that the dominant social group (pro-existence) sees as desirable (life). With everyone around him focusing on his negative and evil traits, Enrique latches onto his evil and malevolent status that implicitly comes with him being hated by all.

Much like the Minions, Enrique would be associated with many people and groups throughout time but for his actual first physical apperance to audiences? That would be during the roaring twenties of the United States of America on all Earth variants across the Omniverse. Enrique is finally introduced to audiences and this is where he meets and embraces many mentor A.K.A. metaphorical father figures that unintentionally reinforce his "masculine" side of becoming the ultimate evil. Half of the father figures are heroes/sidekicks and the other half are villains. The villains, such as Dr. Frankenstein, Count Dracula, the Jealous Villain from Barney Oldfield's Race For A Life, Dr. Fuck You, etc., act as Enrique’s mentors and annoyed caregivers who somewhat guided Enrique through all the earthly yet cartoonish realities that he found himself in ever since being trapped on all Earth variants. Dr. Frankenstein even gave Enrique a nickname by the name of Igor due to him always forgetting Enrique’s real name since Enrique is a perfect punching bag for villains. Overall, Enrique served as the perfect bumbling henchman to all of them. Meanwhile, the heroes and sidekicks, such as Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, Van Helsing, Mickey Mouse, etc., act as foils to Enrique as Enrique was simply just an annoying and quick nuisance that all the heroes and sidekicks easily were able to defeat him with them continuing on with their journey. After awhile, most of them started to get used to his constant odd and nonsensical antics and his presence in their lives became a daily routine for them all.

Overall, both the heroes, sidekicks, and villains opened the door to a false yet simple outlook that Enrique can live by without having to face the complexities of reality while subconsciously leading away from the mother archetype. Both the protagonists and antagonists throughout fiction give Enrique a feeling of belonging. Although both mentor archetypes lead him to an escape from his rejected feminine side, at the same time, the mentors unintentionally or intentionally implement negative reinforcements to Enrique. Ultimately, the fathers entertain Enrique’s sick and twisted delusions of cartoonish heroism vs. villainism dichotomy

The Road of Trials: Meeting of Ogres and Dragons

Decade of Release: 1930s | 1940s | 1950s | 1960s | 1970s | 1980s | 1990s

By becoming the henchman/minion/goon of various fictional villains across media while also simultaneously becoming a major comedic foil for various heroes, sidekicks, and protagonists across fiction, Enrique embarks on the “Road of Trials” stage of the heroine’s journey. This is the closest stage to the hero’s journey and the longest one technically. The stage is a complete rewrite and homage to Campbell’s “Tests, Allies, and Enemies” stage within the hero’s journey. This is where all the main character face various obstacles and challenges on their quest. Instead of “quest” though in this context, it is more of life itself for Enrique. After his introduction in the early 20^th century, he becomes an established minor comedic relief character, his character sets off on various journeys in his many goals on defeating his various heroic foils, or as he calls them: his best frenemies, to become the greatest supervillain to ever exist in all universes.

Overall, he fights his foils on a regular basis, but never wins, nor does he intend to. It’s the infamy and notoriety he wants and always receives. Throughout his many years of antagonism, comic relief, and just straight up cartoonish nonsense, he never truly attempts to form any form of genuine relationship with anyone. His rivalry with his frenemies and the toxic relationships with various characters are the closest things he has to any form of friendship. Altogether, this stage begins very early on in the early 20^th century (approx. late 1920s or early 1930s) up until the 2000s.

This is where 99% of all fanfics, stories, crossovers, and other shit about Enrique take place. No point in listing all of his various appearances across media within this section because it will be so ridiculously long and pointless, it would be pure spam without any substance. Just go search up a list of all works of art and media that were released over the span of the 1930s to 2000s and you'll basically get the gist.

Although… over time, throughout the ~70 years of pure comedic tomfoolery and domestic terrorism that Enrique had been performing throughout his many wacky adventures on the various Earths with his numerous Earthling acquaintances, he slowly does start to open up to his heroic foils and even his villainous bosses. He even starts to openly consider them as his friends. As the decades pass, Enrique slowly realizes that maybe having a family and being loved doesn't sound so bad after all.

Experiencing and Finding the Illusory Boon of Success

Decade of Release: 2000s

In the hero’s journey, the Boon of Success stage is the end of the story. The protagonists and main characters achieves their initial goal and that’s it. Happily ever after. But in the heroine’s journey, the Boon of Success is not the end of the main character’s story. It is only the halfway point. They may have achieved their external goal, but they have not addressed their internal motivations for seeking that goal in the first place. And as the story continues, the heroine finds themselves facing challenges that their attitude thus far had failed to prepare them for. Within the kishōtenketsu four act story structure in eastern Asian culture, the Boon of Success is the end of shō (Act II) which would be placed around 62.5% of the entire narrative. For Enrique, his Boon of Success is of course becoming the ultimate villain by defeating his archenemies and slowly, also becoming more friendly with the various characters that he has met throughout his life on the multiple Earths since the 20^th century. Many of them, even start having families and settling down with Enrique feeling like he has a chance of maybe becoming part of their families as well.

But because the heroine of a heroine’s journey has not addressed the underlying insecurities which set them on their current path to begin with, they “Awaken to Feelings of Spiritual Aridity.” They begin to learn that the conflict they find themselves involved in is not as clear cut as they previously believed, and the challenges that come with this new knowledge are ones that their current way of doing things has failed to prepare them for. The heroine may have found their Boon of Success, but things quickly begin to go wrong until they are ultimately forced to sacrifice their reward.

Awaken to Feelings of Spiritual Aridity

Decade of Release: 2010s | 2020s | 5720s | 5730s | 5740s | 5750s

It isn’t long before the enchanted feeling of belonging wears off. Enrique realizes that his mentor archetypes are moving on from him with their own families or for their own personal reasons. Humans simply drift apart over time and nothing can stay the same forever. Enrique feels disillusioned over this internal "betrayal." If the heroes retire from heroism and the villains retire from villainy, then who will be left for him to thwart and to follow? This was supposed to be the happy ending that Enrique was searching for for so long and it ended up in disappointment. It isn’t long before things get worse though. Many heroes and villains are suddenly pronounced dead without him ever seeing coming. This grief is too much for Enrique as he never even got to say goodbye. He runs away to search for a new life since everything he built up for ~85 years was all gone in a mere moment right in front of him.

After a few years have passed of him trying to move on, on one sunny day during the early 2010s, fate smiled on him and he happened to find out something that would shatter his reality once again. Some of his former heroic and villainous frenemies were actually alive. His rage boiled and he was ready to regain the only semblance of happiness he ever experienced by reuniting with some of his supposed "dead friends." But while he is able to find a way to reunite and renew his relationship with his former frenemies and mentors that survived, it can never be the same as it was before and attempting to go back to how things used to be is ultimately doomed to failure. By the time he meets with them and they go on various adventures just like back in the day, Enrique realizes over time that he and them cannot stay together as friends anymore as they have simply drifted too apart and have changed.

Throughout the two decades within this stage, Enrique faces many challenges that confront him internally. Many of them, especially during the late 2010s and early 2020s, remind him of his forgotten eldritch past which slowly hints to audiences that Enrique is more than he lets on. As more of his lore is explored throughout these two decades, it becomes clear that this is the pivotal stage where Enrique's memetic status climaxes and audiences realize that Enrique is something truly eldritch and otherworldly beyond their comprehension. By the mid 2020s, Enrique is no longer just a weird character anymore, he is something else; especially since this is also the decade where he reveals to audiences about his solipsism.

Ultimately, this stage ends with a massive timeskip with Enrique now living in the 5700s after the Dimensional Merged fucked up the Omniverse up. In the 5750s, many characters across all of fiction actually dye (for real this time), many dimensions and even realities collapse, and with Enrique being one of the only survivors from all the various realities and canons that he considered home. Symbolically, if you wanna be super fancy and smart sounding, this is a representation of the death of true individuality across fiction as all our beloved fictional characters are all slowly becoming hollow husks of themselves where they are all simply used as tools and marketing objects for companies to use in order to sell people shit. Although this has always been the case obviously, this fact has only gotten stronger due to the rise of Fortnite and meme culture. Due to Fortnite being a crossover game where basically all of fiction takes place, all fictional characters are nothing more than just props and tools with no dialogue or individuality at all. They are just skinwalkers now for audiences to buy the idea of a character instead of actually witnessing one on screen. This is the true death of characters. They have lost what was special to them and are now all just symbols, myths, or ideas used by billionaire companies to make a profit. Long story short: Ready Player One predicted the future and also, that film fucking sucks.

Anyway, now with like 95% of all fictional characters and their verses dead af and sold to AI farms, Enrique is now trapped in a completely new environment/verse. What will he do now? Find out next stage on the Fanboy & Chum Chum Bible!!

Initiation and Decent to Meeting with the Goddess

To Be Continued... in the 5760s This is when the Exile Arc begins and Enrique defuncts from the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!

Urgent Yearning for the Re-connection and Reconciliation with the Feminine

To Be Continued... in the ????s

Healing the Mother/Daughter Split

To Be Continued... in the ????s

Reconciliation with and Healing the Wounded Masculine

To Be Continued... in the ????s

Union and Integration of Masculine and Feminine

To Be Continued... during the heat death of the universe

Gallery

Images

Artworks

• 

  Commissioned Artwork by Julieta Sophia on VGen.com
• 

  Commissioned Artwork by Akira on Fiverr.com

Miscellaneous

• 

  Enrique when writing True Art.
• 

  Enrique's bedroom!

Quotes

About Him

“	ENRIQUE!!!	”
-EVERYONE everytime Enrique does something stupid, annoying, and or idiotic.

Himself

“	Sup bitches! ​​I see you, pleasure to meet you! I would have never imagined you people would waste all this time to write a cum inducing wiki about me! I feel so honored, I could almost cry!! I am the greatest after all! ... What? You want me to showcase my quotes? No way you fuck! All my amazing and memorable quotes are basically just the same as previous quotes from other fictional characters!! I'm not gonna waste my damn time repeating quotes I pla... I mean took inspiration from. Just imagine a crazy quote once said in fiction or even in real life and I've probably said it. Anyways, bye cunts!	„
		—	Enrique

Trivia

Allusion

• 
  It should be obvious by now that Enrique’s character is an allusion and homage to the character of Mort, specifically (and only) his incarnation in the Netflix series All Hail King Julien. All of Mort’s characteristics from All Hail King Julien, like his personality, backstory, and abilities are the exact same for Enrique. Enrique is basically just Mort but if he took a human form instead of a Goodman’s mouse lemur.

Etymology

• Enrique’s full name is an etymological and linguistic reference to his vile and eldritch characteristics. “Enrique” derives from the Germanic name Heinrich (from haim meaning “home” and rīc meaning “ruler” or “power”), traditionally translated as “ruler of the home,” However, unlike the modern connotation and meaning of home, ancient Germanic language used the terms “home” and “realm” synonymously as shown in Norse mythology like in the word “Jötunheimr” which translates to “realm/world/home of the jǫtunn”. Basically, the word “Haim” can also connote a broader “realm” or dominion, which basically makes the name Heinrich to also mean “ruler of the realm” or even “sovereign of the world,” which basically could be a hint to Enrique’s eldritch and monotheistic dominion over all realities. “Federico,” the Spanish form of Frederick (from frid meaning “peace” and rīc meaning “ruler”), historically signifies “peaceful ruler,” but in modern colloquial Latin American Spanish, the name is often phonetic associated with feo (“ugly”) and is used as slang to call someone ugly. “Schändner,” as a variant of the German “Schänder,” stems from schänden, meaning “to violate,” “to desecrate,” or “to rape,” which matches Enrique’s psychotic and 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ass nature. Finally, “Maldonado,” from Spanish roots (mal meaning “bad” or “evil” and donado meaning “given” or “endowed”), literally suggests “ill-given,” “ill-favored,” or even metaphorically “accursed.” In the end, when synthesized, the composite name symbolically reads as the “ugly omniarch who violates and profanes, and who is unlucky and or accursed.”

Story

• Enrique is the prime target of mockery and physical abuse in all universes and narratives that he appears in.
• Enrique is a war criminal.
  • Enrique has killed countless of people.
  • His kill streak is over 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.
• Enrique hates baths.
  • He only likes to take blood baths.
  • He smells like shit.
• Ironically, Enrique has unintentionally constructed a very impressive occupational experience list, while trying to be lazy and find a way to get quick money.
• Enrique’s ducksona is possibly a Fuegian streamer duck (Tachyeres pteneres), as they share most of the same coloration and Enrique does state that he isn't very good at flying while as a duck, which is a defining trait of a streamer duck.
• Enrique’s favorite colour is Green.
• Enrique loves to sleep very late and wake up at 01:00 pm, except on New Year's Day, where he wakes up at 2:30 pm (because in his words, "New Years is a holiday invented by the media").
• Enrique usually likes to drone "Nice..." when he finds something amusing.
• Whenever Enrique looks in a mirror, the mirror immediately shatters due to how ugly he is.
• Enrique has been arrested the most times compared to any other character in the entirety of fiction.
  • Enrique commits at least 67 acts of domestic terrorism every year.
  • Since the 20th century, Enrique has tried to take over the world 1,739 times.
  • According to the United States Federal Government, Enrique has accumulated over 9,872,518 life sentences if he were to serve his sentences and stay there (never lol)
  • Enrique has also been shown to have the most restraining orders out of any character of all time on this wiki or any story ever made. However, he seems to not care or obey them, as he stated, "You can't restrain me, I go where I want bitch!"
• Apart from villainy and trolling, Enrique has many interesting and peculiar hobbies.
  • While Enrique fucking hates sports with a burning passion, one of his most favorite sports is pickleball and bowling and will sometimes ask others if they'd like to go pickleballing or bowling with him. By the way, he's terrible at both.
  • Another is knitting. He even carries knitting needles and yarn with him. He’s also not very good at it.
• Enrique has many odd and random fears.
  • He is scared of waffles, balloons, butterflies, brassieres, Berlin, and your mom.
  • He also has podophobia except when it comes to paws and webbed duck feet.
    • Due to his podophobia, he has acrotomophilia.
  • Enrique fears nobody. Fear fears Enrique.
• When he isn't living in a frenemy’s house for free and he needs to bathe, he sneaks into people’s kitchens to use the sink and maybe an occasional break in in someone’s yard to use an unattended garden hose if he’s feeling lazy.
• He somehow has managed to shoot a hole in his own earlobe by accident.
• When Enrique steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
• Enrique once vowed to sit on an egg until it hatched.
• Enrique once visited the Virgin Islands. They’re just called the Islands now due to him having visited that one specific island.
• Enrique's tears can cure cancer. It's too bad he never cries.
  • Enrique also once invented a cure for AIDS but forgot about it afterwards.
• Death once had a near-Enrique experience.
• Enrique can divide by 0.
• Enrique once lifted up a chair with one hand while he was sitting on it.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he first checks in his closet and under his bed for Enrique.
• Enrique can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
• Enrique has a habit of killing people’s imaginary friends and could easily kill yours.
• Enrique can hear sign language.
• Enriquito once stuck his dick in a Totino's Pizza Roll that came straight from the oven.
• E N R I Q U E
• Enrique thinks homeless people taste the best.
• Bigfoot once claimed that he saw Enrique.
  • Enrique cooked with Bigfoot
• Enrique once won an underwater breathing contest against a fish.
• The true reason why global warming exist is because Enrique was cold one day so he decided to turn the sunup.
• Enrique can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Enrique stories.
• Enrique once made Hypnotoad hail him.
• Enrique's ringtone is "Bring Me To Life" by Kidz Bop.
• Sometimes, Enrique smells like Enrique.
  • Other times, he smells like Jerry.
• Whenever Enrique ends up in a zombie apocalypse, the zombies are the ones trying to survive.
• When you or anyone says, "no one's perfect", Enrique takes that as a personal insult.
• Enrique once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It only made him blink.
• Azathoth sleeps because Enrique said he would kill him if he ever woke up.
• Despite being terrible at bowling, Enrique once bowled a perfect game with a golf ball.
  • Speaking of bowling, Enrique can dribble a bowling ball.
• When Enrique misspells a word, all the English dictionaries have to be updated because he can never be wrong or else he will threaten to blow up the White House .
• Enrique was able to catch all the Pokémon from a landline. He’s not a fan of Pokémon though so he just sold them to some odd guy online.
• There are 732 different ways on how Enrique can kill you with a roll of extra-soft toilet paper.
• Enrique doesn't need a hammer. He likes to use his head to nail things down.
• Jesus can walk on water. Enrique can swim through land.
• When Enrique sleeps, the darkness uses a night light because it is afraid of him.
• Gravity only exists because Enrique lets it.
• Enrique doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
• If you have $5 and Enrique has $5, Enrique has more money than you.
• Enrique will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.
• Enrique knows the last digit of π.
• Enrique is the type of person to perfer the Kidz Bop version of Feel Good Inc. rather than the og.
• Enrique fed me elephant shit disguised as cereal.
• Enrique believes his hair looks best at 3:00 pm.
• Enrique once defeated a brick wall in a tennis game.
• God is called "God" because "Enrique" was already taken.
• Enrique can drown a fish.
• Some think his last name is actually Dan.
• One time, Enrique jumped over the Grand Canyon.
• Enrique gives Freddy Kruger nightmares.
• Enrique knows Victoria's secret.
• Enrique always wins at "The Game".
• A cobra once bit Enrique. After 12 hours of excruciating pain, the cobra died of Enrique poison.
• Enrique can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
• Enrique counted to infinity twice one time.
• Enrique got arrested for not washing his hands after using the toilet .
• Enrique also got arrested for not finishing my food .
• Enrique once ate soup out of the toilet .
• Enrique loves jumping into lava for some reason .
• Enrique Invented mini-Enrique.
  • He comes with nano-Enrique.
  • And he also comes with micro-Enrique (he's the tiniest.)
• Enrique loves to bite everything inedible (su.ch as plants, a TV remote, girls' hairs, people's arms...)
• EVERYONE IS Enrique, WHAT DO I DO!?
• Enrique once got robbed for his baked beans because he was too distracted and busy doing helium.
• Enrique cloned himself a million times and caused chaos in some random dude's backyard.
• Enrique once cosplayed as an elf that can play the banjo.
• If someone were to write Enrique’s name onto the Death Note, the Death Note would be destroyed in a nanosecond.
• One-time, Enrique went skydiving and his parachute failed to open. He took it back the next day for a refund.
• Enrique can theoretically dodge your attacks while standing still.
• Enrique doesn't take fall damage. The ground takes Enrique damage.
• E once held a party but no one showed up lmao.
• Whenever Enrique plays Slender, Slenderman tries to collect the pages while avoiding Enrique.
• Enrique once watched the cursed video tape from The Ring. Sadako/Samara died 7 days later.
• The only time Enrique was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
• Enrique can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Enrigay once convinced pigs to fly.
• Enrique was told long ago that he had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean because it caused too many tsunamis.
• Enrique once started a fire with an ice cube.
• In an average living room, there are a 8,752 objects Enrique could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Enrique can clap with one hand.
• Enrique can punch a cyclops between the eye.
• Enrique can speak Braille.
• Whenever Enrique prints his name, he writes it as "Enrique!"
  • This is how his name appears in any title card as well.
• Enrique’s favorite type of bed is a water race car bunk bed.
• Enrique is very bad at shaving. Because of this, he never shaves.
• Enrique claimed to have once hacked Luigi's Tumblr account.
• Enrique's biggest dream is to murder someone with a meat grinder.
• Enrique uses most social media websites.
  • Except for 4chan and other similar based websites since he finds the UI too weird and complicated to use.
• Enrique hates modern Taylor Swift music.
• Enrique is a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog and Bartleby MontClair of Dresdin as a romantic pairing. In fact, he considers them his "otp."
• Enrique supports suicide and fully condones it.
• Enrique can’t whistle or snap his fingers. Some random kid even asked Enrique to add this hilarious fact to his own wiki page.
• Enrique doesn’t have a driver’s licence and is a terrible driver.
• Enrique is a strong supporter of teetotalism and is a teetotaller himself.
  • He is also an anti-smoker and has never smoked before.
• In the Porteguese dubs, his name is changed. This is because Enrique has offended Portugal and Brazil so much, they don't even want to use his name.
• 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
• Sometimes, while he is on an evil mission, Enrique gets naked in a hotel room to enjoy the "sense of freedom".
• He once ended a religion by ripping a prophet's head off.
• Enrique doesn’t like using the word “hunting” because the word infers the probability of failure. Enrique goes killing.
• Enrique was a guest at the 2017 Villain Awards and gave a speech but was booed off stage by everyone. Afterwards, everybody was found dead. The end.
• Before arriving on Earth, Enrique lived on Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
• Whenever he's attending any form of schooling, he gets straight C- in all his classes except for Social Skills. He gets an F in that one always.
• He has a pet cactus.
• He considers himself to be worth seven donuts.
• Enrique’s favorite animals are hyenas and the painted dog which he constantly mistakes the two.
• Time only exists because he lets it.
  • This is also why Enrique never wears a watch. He decides what time it is.
  • Time waits for no man... Unless that man is Enrique.
• Enrique also never uses a map. He decides where he is.
• Enrique once beat the sun in a staring contest.
• Enrique helped with the assassination of President JFK.
• Enrique is technically responsible for every known disaster in human history.
  • He accidentally erupted Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD.
  • He accidentally caused the fall of Rome.
  • He accidentally caused the Black Death.
  • He is the inventor of vehicular manslaughter.
  • He got distracted and accidentally turned the titanic ship which resulted in it hitting the iceberg.
  • He accidentally started World War I.
    • He killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand because he was bored while eating a sandwich.
  • He crashed the Stock Market and started the Great Depression because he thought it would be funny.
  • He accidentally started World War II.
    • He met a random Austrian painter one day and learned about his disenchantment within the art fields. Enrique being the flamboyant and over the top moron that he is, motivated him to get revenge on the art field anyway he can cause that’s “what a true villain would do” in his own words.
    • It's commonly theorized that Enrique is the reason why the British Empire collapsed during World War II.
  • He showed a young Dan Schneider a picture of a foot which began his fetish.
  • He committed the biggest genocide in 2008.
  • He threw a random kid in a gorilla enclosure in the Cincinnati Zoo in 2016.
  • He started the COVID-19 pandemic because he wanted an excuse to stay home all day and not have to find a job.
    • Ironically, Enrique tested positive for COVID-19. Double ironically, the virus then immediately died.
  • He and his homeboi Quack were responsible for an accident in a 2006 Honda Civic where they crashed into Peppa Pig, killing her. It's unknown when this happened.
  • 90% of all political assassinations in the known Omniverse were committed by Enrique.
  • He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses!
  • He reduced the number of states to 49.
  • His dumbass will somehow start World War III.
  • His crazy ass will use sticks and stones during World War VI.
• Enrique jerks off to Sonic porn every night, it is his life's calling.
• He once thought he was a dentist.
• He is a licensed lemonade stand owner, trust me.
• Enrique stole Christmas from 2017 to 2021.
• Enrique does not have the n word pass (and he still says it anyway.)
• Enrique was once told that nothing could kill him. So, he tracked down nothing and killed it.
• Enrique once went around the world by standing still.
• Enrique frequently donates blood. Just never his own.
• Ever wonder why the Backrooms exist? It's because they're afraid to be in the same reality as Enrique.
• Enrique is in the list.
  • He’s also in FreakBob’s client list.
• Brazil, Ohio, and Florida all fear Enrique.
• When God said, "Let there be light!" Enrique said, "Say please."
• He once dated himself.
• He once started a nuclear war at an elementary school for some stupid reason.
• He once tried to teach a bunch of wild animals how to read Esperanto.
• Enrique nuts to minors
• 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
• he's freaky as fuck man!!1!
  • She was 12 Enrique...
• Enrique can easily remove his skin off and does so anytime he showers.
• Enrique is 20% mucus, water, and cum.
• Romeo and Juliet but both Romeo and Juliet are him.
• Enrique has teeth inside his stomach.
• Enrique spayed SCP 2747
• Did you know that Enrique is inside of you right now?
• Enrique represents all Seven Deadly Sins.
• Despite being married 73 times, being the oldest character in all of fiction, and being the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓮𝓼𝓽 character imaginable, he is still a virgin.
• Besides China, North Korea, and most Islamic countries, Enrique isn't allowed in Riverdale, as he was thrown out of a car by Archie and friends and was warned by Moose to stay out. It's unknown what Enrique did to get kicked out, but it was probably something really fucked up considering who we're talking about.
• Enrique's has no favorite music genre and likes every one of them like for example: rock, heavy metal, punk rock, emo, bluegrass, polka, flamenco, classical Hindustani music, and the occasional African drums.
• Enrique once made a Happy Meal cry.
• Enrique knows.
• Enrique's love for his "homies" have limits. His rage, however, does not.
• Enrique can unscramble an egg.
• He was the one who truly defeated Sukuna by traveling to Jujutsu Kaisen and degloving him.
• His life is a joke.
• One of the reasons he usually never is drawn naked is because his bare naked body is too beautiful for the average uncultured viewer.
• He likes to devour twinkly toes at 25:99 (Military time).
• He and his frenemy Graggle Simpson once infamously ate Northwest Southeast Cataohtaliayantonia (The planned 14th colony/state when America first declared independence).
• He’s scaey.
• He’s a pain to look at.
• He hates Fortnite.
• Enrique the type of mf to make a movie and gross a negative number at the box office.
• His sister-in-law is W.D. Gaster from Undertale/Deltarune.
• He fucking hates The Simpsons and Family Guy.
• He eats peoples faces sometimes.
• He infamously supported CarllMeCarson during 2021 when people accused him of grooming a 17 year old.
  • He would later rape the fuck out of jschlatt for being a lil bitch ass NPC.
• Enrique appears in every episode, film, video game, extra, song, etc... in all of human history. (you just need to find him)
• He and his frenemy Graggle both once snuck into a drag race and nobody noticed.
  • After this event, he and Graggle made their own drag race called the grag race.
• One of his favorite video game is RapeLay™ for PC.
• He's been known to cause the death of children in a certain incident involving the words "birthday party".
• He sometimes likes to pull up in ancient Greece to ragebait whatever AI skeleton is selling food there with the assistance of his frenemy Graggle.
• He convinced My Chemicle Romance to break up in 2013.
• He and his homeboi Graggle once shoved a 1,000,000,000 tonne nuclear bomb into Stuart Bitchle's ear. It then traversed its way through stuart bitchle's skull before settling on his brain, exploding and evaporating everything within a 100 mile radius minus E and Graggle.
• bitch idiot loser lmao
• If you ever see an image, video, or read somewhere that Enrique got killed by another character, that is just a weak and fake clone of Enrique created by the normies and NPCs to spread their fake propaganda throughout the Omniverse. Do not believe everything you read online kids (except whenever I write something obviously!)
• Enrique is the TRUE reason that everybody is at war with each other.
• At 4:17 am, Enrique likes to sometimes skin people alive in their sleep and wear their skin while pretending to be them the following day while looking at himself in the mirror.
• You will never know his origins and true powers. Not that you can even comprehend them anyway.
• Enrique is completely against you and everything you stand for.
• Enrique hates you.
• Enrique is Anti-Life because he has no life.
• He was the flower girl at Nikocado Avocado's wedding.
• Enrique likes to give his best friend a good evil night kiss every night.

Character and Design

• 
  Enrique’s design is an obvious parody of recolor OCs found all over the internet, especially in the early 2010s on deviantART. His design was originally based on an ironic shitpost OC that was literally just Trevor Philips from Grand Theft Auto V except he had a green t-shirt with the word FREAK on it, and a fake cartoonish moustache. That’s it.
• Enrique’s fighting style and fighting mannerisms whenever he is in a fighting game would be an exact copy to the character of Dampierre from the Soul fighting game series who is recognizable among the roster due to his severe comical fighting style, absurd appearance, and childish personality just like Enrique. Coincidentally, he also looks like Enrique. Guess Enrique is also a recolor of Dampierre as well.
• Enrique‘s emblem is just Roman Torchwick’s emblem from RWBY except it’s green. It’s a Jack-O'-Lantern, otherwise known as a Will-O'-The-Wisp or Will-O'-The-Torch which fits Enrique’s love of Halloween since it is his favorite holiday.
• It's theorized there is a prototype design of Enrique's true form that was rejected and kept classified by the government for being too disturbing, but no evidence seems to back this theory up.
• According to the creator of this page, he is based on a guy he met once from Dildo, Canada, "a jerk who stays in the front seat and complains a lot and gets the main guys into trouble," while refraining from mentioning who that person was specifically.

Media

• Alien vs. Predator was originally called "Enrique vs. Alien and Predator", but the film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction because no one would pay to see a movie that was only 12 seconds long.
• Enrique’s name is spelled with capital letters in the official voice scripts.
  • Other media forms stylize his names in the same fashion. Some fans consider it the canonical way of printing his name.
• He's often known as "fiction's number one problem child."
• In 1965, when asked about Mort E. Freaky's sexuality, JD Knudson started to reply, before he stopped talking and started to stare blankly foward... After 7 minutes, Sir Knudson said "Enrique.... he.... he scares me. I..... Let's... Let's move on to the next question."
  • JD would later be diagnosed with cancer three days later.
• Enrique was never meant to appear in Two Girls and One Cup.
• Enrique's alignment is joked about a few times on this wiki, such as it either being "Enrique" or "idk". Dipshit normies on TVTrope like to call this Blue-and-Orange Morality.
• Enrique is a real person.

Miscellaneous

• I once tried to change my password to "Enrique," but my computer told me that the "password is too strong."
• It is a well-known fact that he is the greatest character in all of fiction.
• He wrote this trivia before I ever did. Best not to think about this one too much.
• He is somewhere in real life. We just don't know yet.
• Enrique is the only character on this wiki to not be fictional. He’s real. He’s standing right behind you at this very instant. Don’t look behind you. It’s for your own good.
  • I bet you looked behind you, didn't you? Dumbass.
  • HE'S RIGHT THERE AHHHHHHHHH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!! HE'S GONNA TWIST YOUR BALLS
  • Whenever he isn’t behind you, he’s in your walls.
  • Where am I?
    • You're in purgatory, Enrique killed your ass.
    • ....Fuck.
    • Don't say you weren't warned. The text above literally said he was nonfictional and was an active threat.
    • ....I know. Goddamn it. I should've saw the sign.
    • But you didn't. And now look at what has happened. You find yourself dead, and in an endless void of torment and agony. All because you thought Enrique was a fictional character.
    • Do you have any cheeseburgers at least?
    • Yeah sure fine but they're like 25 dollars or something.
    • Shit. FUCK YOU ENRIQUE!!!!!!!!!!1
• Once, Enrique broke the 4^th wall and was seen by various directors, they all died afterwards.
• Enrique can kill you with his bare hands.
• Enrique and his best friend placed 1^st in the totally real and not made-up Top Characters Popularity in all of Fiction contest.

Additional Information and Notes

Annotations

Citations

References and Credits

Bibliography

• Murdock, Maureen. The Heroine's Journey: Woman's Quest for Wholeness. Shambhala Publications, 1990.

See Also and External Links

• Enrique — SpongeBob Fanon Wiki (Defunct)
• ⠀Enrique — Save-Ums! Fanon Wiki (Defunct)
• ⠀Enrique — SMILING FRIENDS FANON Wiki

Navigation and Appendices

Characters OCs ENRIQUE!

Comments

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS ABSOLUTE CINEMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Everyone 07:20, 15 April 2026 (EDT)
absolute peak
-- Win108 (talk) 07:27, 15 April 2026 (EDT)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUNG!, HE IS SO CUM INDUCING AND ZASED, HE'S TOO ZASED FOR THE NEW NORMIES TO HANDLE, ITS SO ZASED!
-- Solidus Vesna (talk) 18:34, 15 April 2026 (EDT)
This page made me have the biggest orgasm in my whole life, thanks dung eater.
-- Barf Bag (talk) 07:12, 17 April 2026 (EDT)
Enrique is God. We stan Enrique.
-- Ozzie T. Floridian (talk) 22:32, 19 April 2026 (EDT)
Truly one of the pages of all time
-- SmilyCookieBone (talk) 08:56, 26 April 2026 (EDT)
This page is so sexy I fucking cummed despite me having a condition that doesn’t makes me cum.
-- Mechasakurako (talk) 23:17, 2 May 2026 (EDT)