Μπάρνεϊ δεινόςσαῦρος

Barney the Dinosaur

“

⠀⠀I love you..... YOU.... WILL... LOVE.... ME....„

— Μπάρνεϊ δεινόςσαῦρος

“

⠀⠀A-HEY! HYUCK!!„

— Barney's catchphrase

Barnaby Barnabas "Barney the Dinosaur" Beranīeġ, also known as the Purple Piper of Bedrock, or by his ONE TRUE name Μπάρνεϊ δεινόςσαῦρος, is the titular main antagonist of the Barney and Friends franchise and a massive, comically evil 900,000,000 foot tall, 90,000,000,000 pound purple tyrannosaurus rex. He is (unsurprisingly) the largest dinosaur alive. He is the biological great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather of the Man Behind the Slaughter, 𝓙𝓪𝔃𝔃𝓲, Susie, Patrick, Thanos, Spyro, Grimace, and Prune Dude. Why most of his kids weren't also dinosaurs no one truly knows, but they're all purple so who cares lmao. Barney is truly evil as he likes killing all things, like your mom and cute innocent kittens. He uses his purpleness to make all living beings see purple.

He also served as the overarching antagonist of all fiction in the 2000s and later became a main antagonist across all fiction and meme culture in the 2010s before the unmentionable and many other eldritch evil entities took over in his place in the 2020s as Barney was narratively designated into a secondary antagonist/dragon role and unlike the unmentionable, who is the god of all things green (and is incomparably the biggest thing in the conceivable universe, incalculably taller and wider than his own father) and obscuring multiple galaxies, Barney's powers in comparison are much more limited, but that's not to say he isn't at all powerful given the fact that he's literally a nine hundred million foot tall T-rex. For instance, he has the sharpest teeth out of anyone in the Omniverse (sharper than Dotar's) that could cut and slice through the toughest of diamonds, the stretchiest of rubber, extraterrestrial elements and materials to 1000x more durable than any Earthly mineral known, and even Minecraft bedrock. He can also shapeshift into any dinosaur subspecies as he pleases, and he has this ability just so that all of them can still be preserved through him. He uses his omniscient mind manipulation to convince all children across fiction that he is not evil and that his wicked and ancient rituals are nothing but innocent songs and dances. After Barney and his 4th wall breaking demonic "crew" turn off the cameras, he devours all the children in front of him to continue his vicious murderous cycle. He does this for sport, not for food. When hungry, he will simply eat eggplants sprinkled with some delicious A1 Steak Sauce. Sometimes, he may drink the blood of innocent children, sure, but that is because his diet lacks fiber.

He can also breathe fire for some reason. The fire defies his height and can reach the ground. It's the hottest fire in the entire Omniverse and can melt literally anything in its path and Barney knows he can use this for his advantage against any NPC he comes across. He also has the ability of time manipulation as he can time travel anytime he desires. He is so evil that every awful and inhumane tragedy that has ever happened in our history could have been prevented by Barney's time traveling... but he always just lets it happen. Smiling as he watches the countless genocides and catastrophes that has befallen upon us.

Brief Omniversal History

Barney's true origins are shrouded in mystery and are a true enigma.

The earliest known instance of Barney within the Omniverse was during the prehistoric era for various variants of Detroit across fiction. For example, in all Flintstones universes, Barney was an elusive god (despite his size somehow lmao) and was mostly known as just a notorious urban legend throughout the majority of the prehistoric era of humanity with like only two dated fatal encounters that were already becoming distant and nearly mythological by the time of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. Despite this, people were still very suspicious and concerned. Claims about hearing strange noises and seeing strange shapes were often alleged to be Barney in some form or way. Some of these claims were actually true, but Barney hides in creative ways, concealing himself from the public eye until everyone forgets about the claims entirely. Some who were extremely, deathly afraid of Barney even started to bow down and worship the legendary dinosaur.

When it comes to all variants of the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event (A.K.A. the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs) across fiction, Barney is always present as a simple spectator as he enjoys viewing the complete extinction of life front and centre. As land life began to rebuild after the asteroid strike across multiple universes and canons, the sightings of Barney skyrocketed. Eventually, it occurred so often that the top scientists in many variants of Detroit, like the SCP Foundation, confirmed the existence of Barney.

After the various timelines across the Omniverse gets more and more fucked up and weird during the 2020s with eldritch lovecraftian gods and primordial horrors popping up left and right however, with the Chungularity, FreakyBob, Nothing, Luitrich, Bean Khan, and all the like, all of humanity across fiction start to lowkey not give a fuck about Barney anymore and start adjusting to living in the schizo conditions that is Fortnite and the Omniverse Saga. This in turn leads to Barney getting the big sad because of his newfound rejection by meme culture and irrelevance, so he shrinks down to his original plush form and now lives at the backside of a Wendy's for the rest of his eternal life

Gallery

• 

  temnobarneysaurus

Triva

• Fanboy and Barney share the same colour scheme. This is due to Barney being Fanboy's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
• WAΓUIGI and Barney share a secret past that no mortal knows
• His thighs can crush a watermelon into the 11^th dimension.
• When Fred Flintstone was a young child, his parents would tell horror stories about Barney to make Fred behave.
• Barney was the one responsible for the Great Green Goober Genocide of c. 979,742,846,947,982,847,842,842,992,992,846,823,932⁹⁹⁹ Decillion B.C.

External Links and Notable Astral Forms Across the Omniverse

• Anti-Barney humor

• Barney — UnAnything Wiki
• Barney — Dashie Lore
• Barney — Dustyfeet.com
• Barney — Post-2010s Saga