Matt Sharp
This page was directly made on his birthday so consider this a birthday gift
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." - Eozdniw, The Furry God
"People come up to me and say, 'By the way, the last two Weezer records really sucked,' and they're always saying it to get in good with me. And I haven't heard them. But if they were bad, they'd probably be just as bad if I was there." - Matt Sharp
"You know, I haven’t listened to them too often. When they released the first record after Pinkerton [2001’s Green Album], I didn’t hear it forever. I just didn’t listen to radio at the time – I was way, way down Leonard Cohen Avenue, listening to Kris Kristofferson, Nick Drake, all these troubadours with their acoustic guitars walking down Lonely Street. And I don’t have a television, so I didn’t see if MTV was playing their stuff at that time. But I remember being in a Panera Bread and having a bread bowl – I don’t know why, bread bowls are a very Nineties thought to me – and hearing that “dip-dip,” whatever the fuck that song was." - Matt Sharp
Matthew Kelly Sharp(マシュー・ケリー・シャープMashū kerī shāpu), also known as Matt Sharp or That one guy from the blue album, is the frontman of The Rentals and former Bassist of Weezer. He is currently hiding from the police from a lot of allegations like A LOT.
Biography
Origins
One day in December 1968 AD, Ezodniw(The Furry God) was tired of being a god without a son to produce and he know damn well that any other woman hated him up in the skies. He used a human skin to transport down to Bangkok, Thailand because he thought the name was funny af to begin with. There he saw a american human woman that went to Bangkok as a vacation for her, Ezodniw manipulated her with Lust and Money to date and even have sex. Ezodniw was there all throughout her pregnancy and on September 22nd, 1969(funni) AD, a child was born.
Ezodniw named it Matthew Kelly Sharp and all of three of them moved to America but unfortunately for the mother, in 1970 AD, Ezodniw was forced to leave by the gods and left the child alone with his mother. Matt Sharp would spent his childhood poor and lonely but that didn't distract him from Music.
Weezer Era
After his boring childhood, Matt Sharp would leave to go to San Diego and form some unsuccessful bands that didn't do anything but produce really crappy music. One day, he would find Jason Cropper and the two became good friends and formed a band. This band eventually merged with Fuzz(Rivers and Patrick's band) and all of them became the band Weezer. After some technical difficulties(which led them replacing Jason with Brian Bell) the album was released in 1994.
This led to Matt having fame and led some devious people approach him, one of them was Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean knew that Matt was the son of the furry god so the make him like his father, Mr. Bean gave him episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures, Sonic SATam, Looney Tunes, and probably more furry stuff to make him a Furryboo(A term in this universe to describe a human who wants to be a furry so badly).
Matt Sharp used this as a secondary personality but still continued and mad his own band, The Rentals, to become an actual band with HIS influence. Matt saw his new first album mediocre so he returned with Weezer but regretted this soon after. Rivers Cuomo was doing winy pedo songs(Described by Matt) and he was forced to make his bassist lines with them which led to the cinematic masterpiece Pinkerton. Matt Sharp hated the album so much so that he started having arguments with Rivers and became more unhealthy with his relationship with Sally Acorn.
Patrick and Bell was tired of Rivers emo depressing image and Matt's addiction of furry sex jokes but one of them had to leave so they kicked Matt Sharp and gave Rivers therapy to get him back in the right track. Matt Sharp would ignore it and continue with The Rentals with Maya Rudolph which he sexually harassed A LOT so much so that she had to file a restraining order on him. Nonetheless, he would sped everyday talking to Sally Acorn and he wanted her to return in the cancelled Sonic SATam. Luckily, DIC announced a new Sonic show which made Matt drop his balls but this was just a false alarm.