Capa Simulator 2015

The game's front cover

Caparezzonionachovich vs. the Neo Scary Overlords: Evil Demon Molesters and StrAngels Among the Masses in Big Italy Simulator 2015: Gold Edition (otherwise known by its shortened name, Capa Simulator 2015), is an open-world game designed for Microsoft's Games for Windows 108 Live. Released in 2011, the game received mixed reviews from critics and audiences alike for its shady marketing and development, but engaging and immersive gameplay, good graphics, and overall interesting experience. The game was nominated for a Scammy, but it did not win the award due to lack of evidence of the game existing outside of widespread anecdotal rumors. Scientists are still convinced that the game was a mass hallucination brought upon by God as punishment for destroying the psyche of Chris Chan and plunging the timeline into darkness.

Plot

The game follows the titular Caparezzonionachovich traversing Big Italy. The town is attacked by Evil Demon Molesters after the lord of darkness, supreme Neo Scary Overlord, and villain of the game "Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ" opens a portal in the sky. The demons begin molesting the citizens of Big Italy almost instantly, with Capa being targeted by a well-endowed imp. Right before the imp is about to shove its giant demon schlong up Capa's poophole, Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine flies in and tears the imp's genitalia clean off, causing it to implode and disintegrate, its remains being sucked back up into the sky and through the portal.

After narrowly avoiding rape, Capa and Drix pair up to find the rest of their friend group to stop the demon invasion, and destroy Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ to save the earth from destruction. After this point, the game becomes fully open world and the story is procedurally generated depending on the player's actions. The only real set goal is to destroy as many demons as possible and kill Ꮦጎ𐌌ጮ𐌙 𐌁ዪ𐌀ክ𐌃ዐ to beat the game.

Gameplay

The gameplay centers around roaming Big Italy and killing demons. To do so, the player must use different characters and items to most effectively destroy them and gain experience to beat the game.

Being a simulator, the game is entirely open world, and the player can progress at their own pace. The game world is filled with unique background characters, and every building is interactive. The player can interact with different buildings and characters to gather resources, gain experience, and learn more about the game's world. Some building act as a safeguard to demon attacks, while others can be fully destroyed or invaded by them. Background NPCs will also attempt to fight the demons with the player, albeit in a non-effective manner as to not offset the game's difficulty; Think Alyx shooting at enemies in Half Life 2.

Switching Characters

The player can switch between any of the main characters at any time, similar to GTA V, with the only exception being when the player is actively engaged in combat and the character they want to switch to is not in the same fight.

Creating Items

The player can create

Characters

Protagonists/Playable Characters

Caparezzonionachovich
Attack	65
Defense	35
Speed	70
Max Health	300
Type	Jack-of-all-trades

• Caparezzonionachovich

Capa is the first playable character in the game. He is first seen sitting in his home eating various pastries and drinking a coffee while watching the static on his non-functioning television. When he hears the sky portal being opened, he steps outside and stares at it. After a few seconds, he sees multiple people on the streets being molested by demons before promptly being grabbed by the aforementioned imp.

He is seen to be somewhat irritable, first demonstrated when he became angry at the loud sound the portal made when it was opened, angrily storming out of his house. Throughout the game, he rarely goes 3 lines in a conversation with someone who is trying to test him without snapping.

Being the first playable character, he has a mixed set of abilities to get the player familiar with the game's mechanics. The items that he can create are somewhat shoddy and break with prolonged use, but cover every category of item and can mostly be made with common materials.

Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine
Attack	85
Defense	95
Speed	30
Max Health	4000
Type	Ice

• Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine

Drix is a character available alongside Capa at the very start of gameplay. Unlike Capa, he is able to destroy imps without the aid of weapons by simply freezing them and grabbing them. Despite how tanky he is, though, he is limited by being an ice-type character. Fire-type demons are resistant to ice attacks and will thus be more difficult to take down without weapons.

Despite his somewhat arrogant nature, Drix is a very well-intentioned character who never attacks or gets angry at anybody other than the demons. He is seen holding Capa back from attacking multiple side characters throughout the game, and even temporarily freezes him when he gets too angry in the game's 13th cutscene before apologizing to the people he was threatening.

His attacks and abilities are mostly based around freezing enemies and the environment around them, since he is a cold medicine and was originally made to fight off flu symptoms. His crafting abilities are very limited, having only 3 items he can build that are meant to enhance his arm gun abilities.

Cory Baxter
Attack	75
Defense	99
Speed	20
Max Health	1200
Type	Brute

• Cory Baxter

Cory is a character that is unlocked upon visiting the Black House in Rome. Upon visiting the main office, he will appear in a spinning chair and greet the character you are playing as. His method of killing demons is to wrestle them down and tear them apart. He specializes in 1 on 1 combat, and will struggle when encountering groups. The lower his health is, the closer his attack stat will increase to 95, and his speed to 40. Both stats go back to normal upon healing to full health.

Cory is without a doubt the most confident character in the game. When fighting enemies, he will spout quips and crack jokes at the demons' expense, with some insults being directly tailored to the enemy type. He immediately takes to joining the main heroes and states that he's excited to fight alongside them.

He is an attack-focused character, having the most combo moves of any character in the game. When he hits enemies, there's a high chance of stunning them, which is useful when coming across grouped-up enemies. Often, he's able to kill smaller enemies with a single hit. His crafting abilities are fairly limited, being mostly pastry-oriented. However, items are not always necessary for him.

• Captain Flynn

• Stefan "MC Ride" Burnett

• SUPER. MACHO. MAN! (Unlockable Character)

Support Characters

• Caparezzonionachovizinno

A little version of Caparezzonionachovich that can appear when called by the player to aid with abilities and navigation. He can only be summoned as Capa and will disappear as soon as the player switches to another character. He floats in the air alongside Capa and is invincible to damage due to being non-physical.

StrAngels

StrAngels are special Angels sent by the in-game God to aid in defeating the Neo Scary Overlords and stopping the invasion. They each possess special abilities and specialize in destroying certain types of demons.

• ᏵዪᏖ፱𐌍ነ𐌊ፕ𐋄ጎ
• 🝍⎎⍧⅁☊⏙⎾⍓
• ƝǶȴǶ
• ᕓዪ𐌔ኡ𐌒፱𐌵ረ𐌀 𐌔ቹ𐌅ⶴ𐌅

Achievements

Icon	Name	Description	Condition

Trivia

• Due to the game having so much content, it had to be shipped in a box with a total of 10 discs. Players had the option to download the content from the discs to their computers the first time they booted it up, or save the space and instead insert all 10 discs, read them, then remove them one by one each time they wanted to play. The game totaled to a whopping 51 gigabytes, which was a new record at the time, but was not impossible to store on consumer disks.

Anomalies

Capa Simulator 2015 is perhaps the strangest video game to ever "release." It had an official release date, and initially seemed to be a normal game. However, as time went on, weirder and weirder things happened which gave the game its mythical status, and a somewhat disturbing ambience.

The Vanishing

Strangely enough, despite how much is known about the game, the entire thing seems to be entirely in the heads of the world's population. Past January of 2012, nobody, not even the people who supposedly owned the game, was able to find a physical copy of it. It's as if the game disappeared off the face of the Earth. Nobody could actually pinpoint any day or hour that the game vanished, and when security footage at game stores were checked, footage of people buying the game did not exist. This made headlines on every game journalism website and even many mainstream news sources. However, two weeks after this had happened, the Great Indian Ocean Fire of 2012 occurred, where the government of "Africa" somehow managed to set fire to an entire ocean by demolishing multiple old oil rigs. This caused the game to be removed from the masses' attention entirely, leaving the whole situation lost to time.

Reality Merging

Reviews praised the game for being immersive. However, there were times it got too immersive for the sake of the players' safety. Many players reported that after a few hours of playtime, the borders of their monitors seemed to blend with their physical rooms, eventually losing any sort of distinction between the two worlds. The two realities were now one.

Notes:

• Strangely, players found images saved on their computer framed on walls throughout the mixed reality, and videos they recorded playing on televisions and billboards. Characters in-game would also apparently make phone calls to contacts stored on players' computers. According to reports, these calls actually happened, according to the contacts who received calls. These people included those who haven't purchased the game, who were bewildered when the in-game characters asked them for help and explained the situation to them.
• This mixed reality caused multiple injuries, with a reported 32 thousand people being seriously harmed by demons, and an estimated 8,200 being killed. Those who were supposedly injured lost any physical signs of injury, yet the visual signs were still there. Those who were killed and buried or dumped into Nagol's Blood Ocean appeared back in their living spaces unharmed, yet still not technically alive. Their hearts were not beating, yet their blood was still flowing and their body was warm. All other signs of life were not present. Despite this, it still seemed as if they were "alive," which was reflected not in their physical being, but rather their environment. It is reported that in households with these half-alive people, certain household chores done by that person would sometimes inexplicably be done, and the undead person would be in a different position, yet still not showing any signs of life or movement. Other happening include half-alive people being in bed "sleeping" after the day ends, despite being in an entirely different outfit and area of the house the last time they were seen, meals miraculously being on the table, with dishes being in the sink and the person being in their usual spot either half-slumped over or resting on the back of the chair, still not moving, and other normal household activities that involve changes to the environment. Doctors are still attempting to fix this widespread issue.
  • Some people tried communicating with these half-alive people by placing their bodies in front of computers with writing applications, or in front of a paper and pencil, and writing to them, however, all of these attempts failed. Paper and pencil returned no response at all, while any computers used stopped turning on after the communication attempt.
• Despite the merge being seemingly only perceived by the user of the computer running the game, it is unclear if each player has their own set of characters and scenarios present, or if each player sees the same one group of entities. The in-game characters would recite memories of events that haven't (and couldn't have) happened in the reporting player's reality, yet have happened in other players' realities, implying that there is only one set of characters spread across every single player's mixed reality. However, it is unknown how this could be possible.