Crash: Difference between revisions
Dung Eater (talk | contribs) mNo edit summary |
Dung Eater (talk | contribs) mNo edit summary |
||
| Line 132: | Line 132: | ||
File:Crashshame.png | File:Crashshame.png | ||
File:Crash Funeral Image.png|A stained glass depiction of Crash in the Church of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫. | File:Crash Funeral Image.png|A stained glass depiction of Crash in the Church of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫. | ||
File:Hitler and puppet.png|Crash and Adolf Hitler. | File:Hitler and puppet.png|Crash and his ol buddy: Adolf Hitler. | ||
File:Collision 9 Block.gif|''In physics, a '''crash''' is any event in which two or more bodies exert forces on each other in a relatively short time. Although the most common use of the word crash refers to incidents in which two or more objects collide with great force, the scientific use of the term implies nothing about the magnitude of the force.'' | File:Collision 9 Block.gif|''In physics, a '''crash''' is any event in which two or more bodies exert forces on each other in a relatively short time. Although the most common use of the word crash refers to incidents in which two or more objects collide with great force, the scientific use of the term implies nothing about the magnitude of the force.'' | ||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
Revision as of 13:51, 21 August 2026
| |||
|---|---|---|---|
| |||
| Vital statistics | |||
| Full Name: | C̴̬͆̑̀̒̂͗̇̐͒̾͗̍̍̿͊͗̅̌̕͝R̵̡̙̹̺͓̟̯͖͇̫̟̹͕̤̜̱̺͑̔̈́͂̃͌͒̏̉̕̕͝ͅͅĄ̷̼̯̯̝͔͎̟͚͗̎̂̌͑͆̾͌̅̏̆͋̈̃̓̉̂̀̀̿͗S̶̢̢̧͍̟̥̩̝͓̘̼̰͖̩̪̥͙̝̺̦̯̝̦̣̟͉̺̓̈́͋̀̇̅́̊͛͗͛͂͐̓̉͆͑̚͘͜͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̟̣̱̳͕͎̟̰͖̯̈́ | ||
| Aliases: |
Codenames | ||
| Sex: | Male 
| ||
| Pronouns: |  Ireland
| ||
| Occupation(s): | War Criminal | ||
| Education: | Linus Tech Tips School for Retardation | ||
| Fantasy Race: | Muppet | ||
| Sexuality: |  Bisexual
| ||
| Birth Place: | Deez nuts | ||
| Birthday: | Jonesy Fortnite September 11th 1950 | ||
| Powers: |
| ||
| Complexion: | Moderate Violet | ||
| Hair Colour: | Dark Grayish Brown | ||
| Eye Colour: | F | ||
| Friends: |  𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!
| ||
| Siblings: | Wyatt Bernstein (best friends) Amanda Bernstein (wife) | ||
| Cousins: | William Afton (little cousin) | ||
| Pets: | my mom | ||
| Affiliations: | Chaos Insurgency | ||
“⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„
—
“⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„
— Y̷̫͍͉̱͖̱̲͙̜̓̃̈́O̷̧̡̫͖̭̲͕̤̠̗͍͓͓̳͐̔͊Ṳ̷̥̥̯͕͉̊̿͐͋̾̍ ̸̧̳̤̮̟̖͖̉͊̌̌͂͌͋͝W̸̨̝̮͚̖͓̘̝͛̍̔̑͐͗̋͆̿̓̎̓̊̚͘ͅȈ̸͚̯̹̹̼̤̃̏̐̐̇̄͒̔̀̚͝͝ͅL̸̛͙̝̹̖̺̯͍̰̈̓͋̆͋͜͜͝L̴̢̧͕̮͎̝͚̺̠̎ ̴̯̤̠͈͉̬̺̇̿̓̔̉̃͆̈́̆̀͠͠N̴̬͚̠̹̐̒̓̓͂̾͆E̷̺̼̠͉̬̻͚̦͉͑͋̋́̐̋̅̀̂̚͜ͅV̸̺̪̬̖̗͓̄̔͆̋͋͛́̌̈͒̉͘̚͝ͅĘ̴̧͓͉̲̯͖͙̥͇͕̠̜͑R̷̨̛͇͍̝͙͔̻̪̫̱̀̎̅͋͝ͅ ̷̡̗͉͉̋̇͗̃͜͝É̸̡̯͍͓̠̤̖̦͓̣̙̣͍̀̂S̶̢̨̡̼̼̲͖͕͕̹̾̿͒̍̈́̈͐̓̒C̷͎͗̀̒̀̍̊̂̍̕͘̚̕Ȧ̵̭͂̀P̴̛̛̱̼͔̏͊̑̄̏̈́͂͂ͅĘ̷̢̛̬̖̹̠̹͚̯̪̝̺͒͛̈̈́̂̈́͂̄̌͆̃
“⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„
— I will CRASH your skull into your brain until you bleed!
Crash Alexander Afton Bernstein (クラッシュ・アレクサンダー・アフトン Kurasshu Arekusandā Afuton) was the antagonist of the anime Crash & Bernstein and a proud member of the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! He is a rejected Muppet and sworn arch-nemesis of famous NPC, Kermit the Frog. He was reject from the Muppets job interview for being a living nightmare abomination of a being and a purple whatnot with many interesting abilities such as eating sandwiches the size of basketballs, eating out Wyatt and Mel and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. In fact, Crash was born with his ninja sword in his bussy. Crash was basically created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life! Overall, Crash is an extreme, crazy, loud, evil, and dare-devilish Muppet. Crash became Wyatt's adoptive brother where he also bathes in the blood of the innocents because he doesn't like going in public pools due to what kids do in there.
Crash actually came to life in the middle of a masturbation session Wyatt was having, in which Wyatt's sperm was the final ingredient that birthed Crash into existence. Crash attacks people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash puts his fist into the other people's butt. Crash uses himself for money. Crash can't spell, His eyes were the inspiration for your mom, as said in your mom. Once, he was struck by lightning, which caused him to gain multiple personalities, like Cat Crash.
Homies
Wyatt
Wyatt Fuckface Bernstein lives in Portland, Oregon, in an apartment with three sisters and his mom. His dad is a deadbeat who went to go "get milk" and never returned, resulting in him being far away from home most of the time and rarely being able to visit. Wyatt seems to have a severe hatred for mayonnaise (as he nicknamed it White Diarrhea) as well as loving doing activities with Crash!
Amanda
Amanda Elizabeth Bernstein is one of Wyatt and Crash's three sisters. Her personality is portrayed as the hot and popular eldest sister of Wyatt and Crash. She fucking hates Crash and holds a grudge against him for being a weirdo and a supporter of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism, often finding plots to get rid of him. On rare occasions, she does show feelings for Crash and secretly wants Crash though. Incest is the wincest!
Pesto
Samuel Oliver "Pesto" Banks is a very good friend of Wyatt and Crash. He has a huge ass crush on Amanda while Cleo has a crush on him. His parents own Iconic Arcade which is where he works. He used to hate Crash, but now seems to be desperate for his purple dick. Can't blame him. He's also a huge chad and can get any one just by showing his mustache. It is hidden knowledge but it is shown that he is the illegitimate son of Adolf Hitler.
Beema
Beema is Bernstein's science teacher. Crash shows detest for Beema and even tries to kill her in an episode. Oddly enough, the only episode Beema was featured in was a finland exclusive episode. Beema at first found Crash funny when she believed he was a birthday gift, but after learning Crash's true power she begins to detest him as well for his bashful and extroverted personality.
Gallery
Images
A stained glass depiction of Crash in the Church of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫.
Crash and his ol buddy: Adolf Hitler.
In physics, a crash is any event in which two or more bodies exert forces on each other in a relatively short time. Although the most common use of the word crash refers to incidents in which two or more objects collide with great force, the scientific use of the term implies nothing about the magnitude of the force.
Videos
Crash beating the living shit out of some old ass NPC lady.
Trivia
Story
- Crash loves a doll that Jasmine owns called Princess Glitter until the day that he broke up with her due to her pussy being stank.
- Crash is a Bi icon.
- Crash is a war criminal.
- Crash created a holiday called Crashenfest for the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society.
- Crash is afraid of mustaches because of a trip to the doctor's office when he was stung by a scorpion, and later said, "Take me to Mount Rushmore. I want to jump of the mountain to end my suffering.”
- Crash's favorite rainy day activity is being an edgelord and getting Hypothermia by being bare-ass naked in the rain.
- Crash apparently like putting "mayo" in a sandwich.
- Crash has a large amount of personas similar to Enrique.
- He is officially purple, though fanfictions seem to ignore this fact.
- Crash has committed over 18 acts of domestic terrorism
Death
Unfortunately, Crash fucking died in the tragic thermonuclear blast sponsored by mickey mouse that served as the closure to the NPC-Freaky war along with 379344037532544285429594207506956042954609595642564695064206420959426244059595700560524695250976295605942695642065034878756742527534056204265454695469426545602095650256239560163595160357093157560990737957373279075759395061563103135082058248058024805480504552705704270702702704470570425704287702537025072705702370502753705135701570705701358138542025270570257047057042570704705427070425702704570427057024570427057042705072457047052704705704270502757042570704250727052705702470570245704270524705702705702456260626045602065694256265260275077057025027725277352057957427542702450247007704270570427042570245425086250528605086586026085628056802605720252072456270 others. 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 fimself posthumously memorialized him in his "grocery store" as one of the many stained glass portraits of brave, parted Freakers on the wall while you shop for tortilla chips.