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<div style="pointer-events:none;position:fixed; left:-5em; bottom:0em; white-space:nowrap" id="FA">[[File:Crash & Bernstein Instrumental.wav|1px|autoplay]]</div>
<div style="background: linear-gradient(360deg,#453058,indigo); color: white; padding: 10px; border-radius: 10px 10px;">
{{DISPLAYTITLE:{{color|indigo|CRASH}}}}<small>Yo, Imma let you finish but, ding-dong!</small><br>
__NOEDITSECTION__
__NOEDITSECTION__
{{Icons|Character|Male|Science}}{{Approved}}{{Deceased}}
{| class="infobox" style="font-size:89%; width:300px;"
<tabber>
|-
|-|
! colspan="2" style="background-color:{{{boxcolor|#D737C9}}}; color:#ffffff; font-size:120%; padding:1em;" |{{{name|[[File:Crash's_Logo.png|link=|200px]]}}}
Main Info=
 
{{Community}}
|- s
|-|
|- style=""
Warnings=
 
{{NSFW}}
|- s
</tabber>
|- style="text-align:center;"
----
| colspan="2" style="padding:0.5em;" |[[File:Crash and epstein by brokenavatar de0fjd2-pre.jpg|250px|Crash & Epstein]]
{{Character Box 1
|-
| Name = [[File:Crash's_Logo.png|link=]]
! colspan="2" style="background-color:{{{boxcolor2|#D737C9}}}; color:#ffffff;" |Vital statistics
| image = Crash and epstein by brokenavatar de0fjd2-pre.jpg
|-
| real name = C̴̬͆̑̀̒̂͗̇̐͒̾͗̍̍̿͊͗̅̌̕͝R̵̡̙̹̺͓̟̯͖͇̫̟̹͕̤̜̱̺͑̔̈́͂̃͌͒̏̉̕̕͝ͅͅĄ̷̼̯̯̝͔͎̟͚͗̎̂̌͑͆̾͌̅̏̆͋̈̃̓̉̂̀̀̿͗S̶̢̢̧͍̟̥̩̝͓̘̼̰͖̩̪̥͙̝̺̦̯̝̦̣̟͉̺̓̈́͋̀̇̅́̊͛͗͛͂͐̓̉͆͑̚͘͜͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̟̣̱̳͕͎̟̰͖̯̈́
| style="width:30%;" |'''Full Name:'''
| aliases = <u>'''Codenames'''</u><br>
| style="width:70%;" |C̴̬͆̑̀̒̂͗̇̐͒̾͗̍̍̿͊͗̅̌̕͝R̵̡̙̹̺͓̟̯͖͇̫̟̹͕̤̜̱̺͑̔̈́͂̃͌͒̏̉̕̕͝ͅͅĄ̷̼̯̯̝͔͎̟͚͗̎̂̌͑͆̾͌̅̏̆͋̈̃̓̉̂̀̀̿͗S̶̢̢̧͍̟̥̩̝͓̘̼̰͖̩̪̥͙̝̺̦̯̝̦̣̟͉̺̓̈́͋̀̇̅́̊͛͗͛͂͐̓̉͆͑̚͘͜͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̟̣̱̳͕͎̟̰͖̯̈́
|-
|'''Aliases:'''
|
<u>'''Codenames'''</u><br>
Crash Alexander Afton<br>
Crash Alexander Afton<br>
El Cocinero<br>
El Cocinero<br>
Line 30: Line 31:
Purple Punk <small>(by Pesto)</small><br>
Purple Punk <small>(by Pesto)</small><br>
<u>'''Organizational Names'''</u><br>
<u>'''Organizational Names'''</u><br>
St. Crash<br>
St. Crash<br>  
| mental age = 67
|-
| pronouns = [[File:Flag of Ireland.png|25px|link=]] Ireland
|'''Sex:'''
| occupation(s) = War Criminal
|'''{{color|0f1bc3|Male}}''' [[File:Male.png|10px|link=]]
| education = Linus Tech Tips School for Retardation
|-
| species = Muppet
|'''Pronouns:'''
| gender = {{Male}}
|[[File:FLAG-Ireland.jpg|25px|link=]] Ireland
| sexuality = [[File:Bisexual Pride Flag.svg|24px|link=]] <span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#D60270,#9B4F96,#0038A8); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">'''Bisexual'''</span>
|-
| woke = <span style="font-size:125%; vertical-align:-5%;">∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞<sup>∞<sup>∞</sup></sup>
|'''Occupation(s):'''
| religion = [[File:Atheismsymbol.png|20px|link=]] <span style="text-shadow: 1px 2px 9px white;">{{color|black|Irreligious <small>(Atheist)</small>}}
| War Criminal
| birth-place = Deez nuts
|-
| residence = [[File:𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ville.png|26px|link=]] 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ville, 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴opolis, 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ia, 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Galaxy
|'''Education:'''
| dream = Jonesy Fortnite<br>September 11<sup>th</sup> 1950
|Linus Tech Tips School for Retardation
| steak = ''cringe''
|-
| alignment = <span style="background:linear-gradient(#a30303 50%, black); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">'''Chaotic Evil'''</span> <small>(<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#ffdd00,#238020,#0080ff,#ff0040); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂</span>)</small>
|'''Fantasy ''Race'':'''
| powers = {{scroll|
| Muppet
|-
|'''Sexuality:'''
|[[File:Bisexual Pride Flag.svg|24px|link=]] <span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#D60270,#9B4F96,#0038A8); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">'''Bisexual'''</span>
|-
|'''Birth Place:'''
|Deez nuts
|-
|'''Birthday:'''
|Jonesy Fortnite<br>September 11<sup>th</sup> 1950
|-
|'''Powers:'''
|{{scroll|
*Puppet Physiology
*Puppet Physiology
*Immortality
*Immortality
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*Mind manipulation
*Mind manipulation
*Premediating Pranks}}
*Premediating Pranks}}
| race = {{colorbox|#6d4490|{{color|white|Moderate Violet}}}}
|-
| hair-color = {{colorbox|#382C22|{{color|white|Dark Grayish Brown}}}}
|'''Complexion:'''
| eye-color = {{color|red|'''F'''}}
|{{colorbox|#6d4490|{{color|white|Moderate Violet}}}}
| pets = my mom
|-
| cousins = William Afton <small>(little cousin)</small>
|'''Hair Colour:'''
| friends = Jeffrey Epstein<br>
| {{colorbox|#382C22|{{color|white|Dark Grayish Brown}}}}
[[Pesto]]
|-
| affiliation(s) = [[File:𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂_Flag!.png|25px|link=𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂・Evil・Neutral]] '''[[𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂・Evil・Neutral|<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#ffdd00,#238020); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂</span> <span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#0080ff,#ff0040); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">SUSiety!</span>]]'''
| '''Eye Colour:'''
| criminal record = <big>A LOT</big>
|{{color|red|'''F'''}}
| status = <spoiler>{{color|limegreen|'''Alive'''}}</spoiler>
|-
| Voice Eng = {{W|Tim Lagasse}}
|'''Friends:'''
| siblings = Wyatt Bernstein <small>(best friends)</small><br>
|[[File:𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂_Flag!.png|25px|link=]] '''<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#ffdd00,#238020); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂</span> <span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#0080ff,#ff0040); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">SUSiety!</span>'''
|-
| '''Siblings:'''
|Wyatt Bernstein <small>(best friends)</small><br>
Amanda Bernstein <small>(wife)</small><br>
Amanda Bernstein <small>(wife)</small><br>
Cleo Bernstein <small>(girlfriend)</small><br>
Cleo Bernstein <small>(girlfriend)</small><br>
Jasmine Bernstein <small>(side chick)</small><br>
Jasmine Bernstein <small>(side chick)</small><br>
}}{{Quote|[[File:CrashsFACESLAM.mp3.mp3]]|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein}}
|-
{{Quote|Y̷̫͍͉̱͖̱̲͙̜̓̃̈́O̷̧̡̫͖̭̲͕̤̠̗͍͓͓̳͐̔͊Ṳ̷̥̥̯͕͉̊̿͐͋̾̍ ̸̧̳̤̮̟̖͖̉͊̌̌͂͌͋͝W̸̨̝̮͚̖͓̘̝͛̍̔̑͐͗̋͆̿̓̎̓̊̚͘ͅȈ̸͚̯̹̹̼̤̃̏̐̐̇̄͒̔̀̚͝͝ͅL̸̛͙̝̹̖̺̯͍̰̈̓͋̆͋͜͜͝L̴̢̧͕̮͎̝͚̺̠̎ ̴̯̤̠͈͉̬̺̇̿̓̔̉̃͆̈́̆̀͠͠N̴̬͚̠̹̐̒̓̓͂̾͆E̷̺̼̠͉̬̻͚̦͉͑͋̋́̐̋̅̀̂̚͜ͅV̸̺̪̬̖̗͓̄̔͆̋͋͛́̌̈͒̉͘̚͝ͅĘ̴̧͓͉̲̯͖͙̥͇͕̠̜͑R̷̨̛͇͍̝͙͔̻̪̫̱̀̎̅͋͝ͅ ̷̡̗͉͉̋̇͗̃͜͝É̸̡̯͍͓̠̤̖̦͓̣̙̣͍̀̂S̶̢̨̡̼̼̲͖͕͕̹̾̿͒̍̈́̈͐̓̒C̷͎͗̀̒̀̍̊̂̍̕͘̚̕Ȧ̵̭͂̀P̴̛̛̱̼͔̏͊̑̄̏̈́͂͂ͅĘ̷̢̛̬̖̹̠̹͚̯̪̝̺͒͛̈̈́̂̈́͂̄̌͆̃|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein}}
|'''Cousins:'''
{{Quote|I will CRASH your skull into your brain until you bleed!|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein}}
|William Afton <small>(little cousin)</small>
'''Crash Alexander <s>Afton</s> Bernstein''' (''クラッシュ・アレクサンダー・アフトン Kurasshu Arekusandā Afuton'') was the antagonist of the anime ''Crash & Bernstein'' and a proud member of the [[𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂・Evil・Neutral|'''<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#ffdd00,#238020); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂</span>''' '''<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#0080ff,#ff0040); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">SUSiety!</span>''']] He is a rejected Muppet and sworn arch-nemesis of famous NPC, Kermit the Frog. He was reject from the Muppets job interview for being a living nightmare abomination of a being and a purple whatnot with many interesting abilities such as eating sandwiches the size of basketballs, eating out Wyatt and Mel and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. In fact, Crash was born with his ninja sword in his bussy. Crash was basically created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life! Overall, Crash is an extreme, crazy, loud, evil, and dare-devilish Muppet. Crash became Wyatt's adoptive brother where he also bathes in the blood of the innocents because he doesn't like going in public pools due to what kids do in there.  
|-
| '''Pets:'''
| my mom
|-
|'''Affiliations:'''
|Chaos Insurgency
|}
{{Quote|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein|[[File:CrashsFACESLAM.mp3.mp3]]}}
{{Quote|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein|Y̷̫͍͉̱͖̱̲͙̜̓̃̈́O̷̧̡̫͖̭̲͕̤̠̗͍͓͓̳͐̔͊Ṳ̷̥̥̯͕͉̊̿͐͋̾̍ ̸̧̳̤̮̟̖͖̉͊̌̌͂͌͋͝W̸̨̝̮͚̖͓̘̝͛̍̔̑͐͗̋͆̿̓̎̓̊̚͘ͅȈ̸͚̯̹̹̼̤̃̏̐̐̇̄͒̔̀̚͝͝ͅL̸̛͙̝̹̖̺̯͍̰̈̓͋̆͋͜͜͝L̴̢̧͕̮͎̝͚̺̠̎ ̴̯̤̠͈͉̬̺̇̿̓̔̉̃͆̈́̆̀͠͠N̴̬͚̠̹̐̒̓̓͂̾͆E̷̺̼̠͉̬̻͚̦͉͑͋̋́̐̋̅̀̂̚͜ͅV̸̺̪̬̖̗͓̄̔͆̋͋͛́̌̈͒̉͘̚͝ͅĘ̴̧͓͉̲̯͖͙̥͇͕̠̜͑R̷̨̛͇͍̝͙͔̻̪̫̱̀̎̅͋͝ͅ ̷̡̗͉͉̋̇͗̃͜͝É̸̡̯͍͓̠̤̖̦͓̣̙̣͍̀̂S̶̢̨̡̼̼̲͖͕͕̹̾̿͒̍̈́̈͐̓̒C̷͎͗̀̒̀̍̊̂̍̕͘̚̕Ȧ̵̭͂̀P̴̛̛̱̼͔̏͊̑̄̏̈́͂͂ͅĘ̷̢̛̬̖̹̠̹͚̯̪̝̺͒͛̈̈́̂̈́͂̄̌͆̃}}
{{Quote|<nowiki>''Crash''</nowiki> Bernstein|I will CRASH your skull into your brain until you bleed!}}
'''Crash Alexander <s>Afton</s> Bernstein''' (''クラッシュ・アレクサンダー・アフトン Kurasshu Arekusandā Afuton'') was the antagonist of the anime ''Crash & Bernstein'' and a proud member of the '''<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#ffdd00,#238020); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂</span>''' '''<span style="background:linear-gradient(90deg,#0080ff,#ff0040); -webkit-background-clip:text !important; -webkit-text-fill-color:transparent;">SUSiety!</span>''' He is a rejected Muppet and sworn arch-nemesis of famous NPC, Kermit the Frog. He was reject from the Muppets job interview for being a living nightmare abomination of a being and a purple whatnot with many interesting abilities such as eating sandwiches the size of basketballs, eating out Wyatt and Mel and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. In fact, Crash was born with his ninja sword in his bussy. Crash was basically created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life! Overall, Crash is an extreme, crazy, loud, evil, and dare-devilish Muppet. Crash became Wyatt's adoptive brother where he also bathes in the blood of the innocents because he doesn't like going in public pools due to what kids do in there.  


Crash actually came to life in the middle of a masturbation session Wyatt was having, in which Wyatt's sperm was the final ingredient that birthed Crash into existence. Crash attacks people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash puts his fist into the other people's butt. Crash uses himself for money. Crash can't spell, His eyes were the inspiration for your mom, as said in your mom. Once, he was struck by lightning, which caused him to gain multiple personalities, like Cat Crash.
Crash actually came to life in the middle of a masturbation session Wyatt was having, in which Wyatt's sperm was the final ingredient that birthed Crash into existence. Crash attacks people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash puts his fist into the other people's butt. Crash uses himself for money. Crash can't spell, His eyes were the inspiration for your mom, as said in your mom. Once, he was struck by lightning, which caused him to gain multiple personalities, like Cat Crash.


=={{Color|white|Homies}}==
==Homies==


=== {{Color|white|Wyatt}} ===
===Wyatt===
'''Wyatt Fuckface''' '''Bernstein''' lives in Portland, Oregon, in an apartment with three sisters and his mom. His dad is a deadbeat who went to go "get milk" and never returned, resulting in him being far away from home most of the time and rarely being able to visit. Wyatt seems to have a severe hatred for mayonnaise (as he nicknamed it '''White Diarrhea''') as well as loving doing activities with Crash!
'''Wyatt Fuckface''' '''Bernstein''' lives in Portland, Oregon, in an apartment with three sisters and his mom. His dad is a deadbeat who went to go "get milk" and never returned, resulting in him being far away from home most of the time and rarely being able to visit. Wyatt seems to have a severe hatred for mayonnaise (as he nicknamed it '''White Diarrhea''') as well as loving doing activities with Crash!


=== {{Color|white|Amanda}} ===
===Amanda===
'''Amanda Elizabeth Bernstein''' is one of Wyatt and Crash's three sisters. Her personality is portrayed as the hot and popular eldest sister of Wyatt and Crash. She fucking hates Crash and holds a grudge against him for being a weirdo and a supporter of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism, often finding plots to get rid of him. On rare occasions, she does show feelings for Crash and secretly wants Crash though. Incest is the wincest!
'''Amanda Elizabeth Bernstein''' is one of Wyatt and Crash's three sisters. Her personality is portrayed as the hot and popular eldest sister of Wyatt and Crash. She fucking hates Crash and holds a grudge against him for being a weirdo and a supporter of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism, often finding plots to get rid of him. On rare occasions, she does show feelings for Crash and secretly wants Crash though. Incest is the wincest!


=== [[Pesto]] ===
===[[Pesto]]===
'''Samuel Oliver "Pesto"''' '''Banks''' is a very good friend of Wyatt and Crash. He has a huge ass crush on Amanda while Cleo has a crush on him. His parents own Iconic Arcade which is where he works. He used to hate Crash, but now seems to be desperate for his purple dick. Can't blame him. He's also a huge chad and can get any one just by showing his mustache. It is hidden knowledge but it is shown that he is the illegitimate son of Adolf Hitler.
'''Samuel Oliver "Pesto"''' '''Banks''' is a very good friend of Wyatt and Crash. He has a huge ass crush on Amanda while Cleo has a crush on him. His parents own Iconic Arcade which is where he works. He used to hate Crash, but now seems to be desperate for his purple dick. Can't blame him. He's also a huge chad and can get any one just by showing his mustache. It is hidden knowledge but it is shown that he is the illegitimate son of Adolf Hitler.


=== {{Color|white|Beema}} ===
===Beema===
'''Beema''' is Bernstein's science teacher. Crash shows detest for Beema and even tries to '''kill her''' in an episode. Oddly enough, the only episode Beema was featured in was a finland exclusive episode. Beema at first found Crash funny when she believed he was a birthday gift, but after learning Crash's true power she begins to detest him as well for his bashful and extroverted personality.  
'''Beema''' is Bernstein's science teacher. Crash shows detest for Beema and even tries to '''kill her''' in an episode. Oddly enough, the only episode Beema was featured in was a finland exclusive episode. Beema at first found Crash funny when she believed he was a birthday gift, but after learning Crash's true power she begins to detest him as well for his bashful and extroverted personality.  


=={{Color|white|Death}} ==
==Gallery==
Unfortunately, Crash fucking died in the tragic thermonuclear blast sponsored by mickey mouse that served as the closure to the NPC-Freaky war along with 379344037532544285429594207506956042954609595642564695064206420959426244059595700560524695250976295605942695642065034878756742527534056204265454695469426545602095650256239560163595160357093157560990737957373279075759395061563103135082058248058024805480504552705704270702702704470570425704287702537025072705702370502753705135701570705701358138542025270570257047057042570704705427070425702704570427057024570427057042705072457047052704705704270502757042570704250727052705702470570245704270524705702705702456260626045602065694256265260275077057025027725277352057957427542702450247007704270570427042570245425086250528605086586026085628056802605720252072456270 others. [[𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫]] fimself posthumously memorialized him in his "grocery store" as one of the many stained glass portraits of brave, parted Freakers on the wall while you shop for tortilla chips.
 
== {{Color|white|Gallery}} ==


=== {{Color|white|Images}} ===
===Images===
<gallery mode="nolines" widths="300" heights="300">
<gallery mode="nolines" widths="300" heights="300">
File:Crashshame.png
File:Crashshame.png
Line 113: Line 136:
</gallery>
</gallery>


=== {{Color|white|Videos}} ===
===Videos===
<gallery mode="nolines" widths="350" heights="350">
<gallery mode="nolines" widths="350" heights="350">
File:Crash & Bernstein AMV - Crash - Breaking the Habit.mp4
File:Crash & Bernstein AMV - Crash - Breaking the Habit.mp4
Line 119: Line 142:
</gallery>
</gallery>


== {{Color|white|Trivia}} ==
==Trivia==


=== {{Color|white|Story}} ===
===Story===
*Crash loves a doll that Jasmine owns called Princess Glitter until the day that he broke up with her due to her pussy being stank.
*Crash loves a doll that Jasmine owns called Princess Glitter until the day that he broke up with her due to her pussy being stank.
*Crash is a Bi icon.
*Crash is a Bi icon.
Line 127: Line 150:
*Crash created a holiday called Crashenfest for the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society.
*Crash created a holiday called Crashenfest for the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society.
*Crash is afraid of mustaches because of a trip to the doctor's office when he was stung by a scorpion, and later said, "Take me to Mount Rushmore. I want to jump of the mountain to end my suffering.”
*Crash is afraid of mustaches because of a trip to the doctor's office when he was stung by a scorpion, and later said, "Take me to Mount Rushmore. I want to jump of the mountain to end my suffering.”
*Crash's favorite rainy day activity is being an edgelord and getting Hypothermia by being bare-ass naked in the rain.
* Crash's favorite rainy day activity is being an edgelord and getting Hypothermia by being bare-ass naked in the rain.
*Crash apparently like putting "mayo" in a sandwich.
*Crash apparently like putting "mayo" in a sandwich.
*Crash has a large amount of personas similar to Mort.
*Crash has a large amount of personas similar to Mort.
*He is officially purple, though fanfictions seem to ignore this fact.
*He is officially purple, though fanfictions seem to ignore this fact.
*Crash has committed over 18 acts of domestic terrorism
*Crash has committed over 18 acts of domestic terrorism
==Death ==
Unfortunately, Crash fucking died in the tragic thermonuclear blast sponsored by mickey mouse that served as the closure to the NPC-Freaky war along with 379344037532544285429594207506956042954609595642564695064206420959426244059595700560524695250976295605942695642065034878756742527534056204265454695469426545602095650256239560163595160357093157560990737957373279075759395061563103135082058248058024805480504552705704270702702704470570425704287702537025072705702370502753705135701570705701358138542025270570257047057042570704705427070425702704570427057024570427057042705072457047052704705704270502757042570704250727052705702470570245704270524705702705702456260626045602065694256265260275077057025027725277352057957427542702450247007704270570427042570245425086250528605086586026085628056802605720252072456270 others. [[𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫]] fimself posthumously memorialized him in his "grocery store" as one of the many stained glass portraits of brave, parted Freakers on the wall while you shop for tortilla chips.


[[Category:Sexymen Nominees]]
[[Category:Sexymen Nominees]]

Revision as of 13:48, 21 August 2026

Crash's Logo.png
Crash & Epstein
Vital statistics
Full Name: C̴̬͆̑̀̒̂͗̇̐͒̾͗̍̍̿͊͗̅̌̕͝R̵̡̙̹̺͓̟̯͖͇̫̟̹͕̤̜̱̺͑̔̈́͂̃͌͒̏̉̕̕͝ͅͅĄ̷̼̯̯̝͔͎̟͚͗̎̂̌͑͆̾͌̅̏̆͋̈̃̓̉̂̀̀̿͗S̶̢̢̧͍̟̥̩̝͓̘̼̰͖̩̪̥͙̝̺̦̯̝̦̣̟͉̺̓̈́͋̀̇̅́̊͛͗͛͂͐̓̉͆͑̚͘͜͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̟̣̱̳͕͎̟̰͖̯̈́
Aliases:

Codenames
Crash Alexander Afton
El Cocinero
EatThayPussy445
Petep quag
Niffirg Retep
Nicknames
𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴
Purple People Prankster
Purple Menace
Purple Baka (by Amanda)
Purple Punk (by Pesto)
Organizational Names
St. Crash

Sex: Male Male.png
Pronouns: FLAG-Ireland.jpg Ireland
Occupation(s): War Criminal
Education: Linus Tech Tips School for Retardation
Fantasy Race: Muppet
Sexuality: Bisexual Pride Flag.svg Bisexual
Birth Place: Deez nuts
Birthday: Jonesy Fortnite
September 11th 1950
Powers:
  • Puppet Physiology
  • Immortality
  • Enhanced Swordsmanship
  • Weapon Mastery
  • Prank Mastery
  • Gag Weaponry
  • Superhuman Strength
  • Enhanced Speed
  • Ninjutsu
  • Mastery of Tools
  • Teleportation
  • Limited magical powers
  • Limited Intelligence
  • Breathe in Space
  • Destroyer Skills
  • Master of Disguise
  • Mind manipulation
  • Premediating Pranks
Complexion: Moderate Violet
Hair Colour: Dark Grayish Brown
Eye Colour: F
Friends: 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Flag!.png 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!
Siblings: Wyatt Bernstein (best friends)

Amanda Bernstein (wife)
Cleo Bernstein (girlfriend)
Jasmine Bernstein (side chick)

Cousins: William Afton (little cousin)
Pets: my mom
Affiliations: Chaos Insurgency
“

⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„


—

“

⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„


— Y̷̫͍͉̱͖̱̲͙̜̓̃̈́O̷̧̡̫͖̭̲͕̤̠̗͍͓͓̳͐̔͊Ṳ̷̥̥̯͕͉̊̿͐͋̾̍ ̸̧̳̤̮̟̖͖̉͊̌̌͂͌͋͝W̸̨̝̮͚̖͓̘̝͛̍̔̑͐͗̋͆̿̓̎̓̊̚͘ͅȈ̸͚̯̹̹̼̤̃̏̐̐̇̄͒̔̀̚͝͝ͅL̸̛͙̝̹̖̺̯͍̰̈̓͋̆͋͜͜͝L̴̢̧͕̮͎̝͚̺̠̎ ̴̯̤̠͈͉̬̺̇̿̓̔̉̃͆̈́̆̀͠͠N̴̬͚̠̹̐̒̓̓͂̾͆E̷̺̼̠͉̬̻͚̦͉͑͋̋́̐̋̅̀̂̚͜ͅV̸̺̪̬̖̗͓̄̔͆̋͋͛́̌̈͒̉͘̚͝ͅĘ̴̧͓͉̲̯͖͙̥͇͕̠̜͑R̷̨̛͇͍̝͙͔̻̪̫̱̀̎̅͋͝ͅ ̷̡̗͉͉̋̇͗̃͜͝É̸̡̯͍͓̠̤̖̦͓̣̙̣͍̀̂S̶̢̨̡̼̼̲͖͕͕̹̾̿͒̍̈́̈͐̓̒C̷͎͗̀̒̀̍̊̂̍̕͘̚̕Ȧ̵̭͂̀P̴̛̛̱̼͔̏͊̑̄̏̈́͂͂ͅĘ̷̢̛̬̖̹̠̹͚̯̪̝̺͒͛̈̈́̂̈́͂̄̌͆̃

“

⠀⠀''Crash'' Bernstein„


— I will CRASH your skull into your brain until you bleed!

Crash Alexander Afton Bernstein (クラッシュ・アレクサンダー・アフトン Kurasshu Arekusandā Afuton) was the antagonist of the anime Crash & Bernstein and a proud member of the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! He is a rejected Muppet and sworn arch-nemesis of famous NPC, Kermit the Frog. He was reject from the Muppets job interview for being a living nightmare abomination of a being and a purple whatnot with many interesting abilities such as eating sandwiches the size of basketballs, eating out Wyatt and Mel and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. In fact, Crash was born with his ninja sword in his bussy. Crash was basically created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life! Overall, Crash is an extreme, crazy, loud, evil, and dare-devilish Muppet. Crash became Wyatt's adoptive brother where he also bathes in the blood of the innocents because he doesn't like going in public pools due to what kids do in there.

Crash actually came to life in the middle of a masturbation session Wyatt was having, in which Wyatt's sperm was the final ingredient that birthed Crash into existence. Crash attacks people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash puts his fist into the other people's butt. Crash uses himself for money. Crash can't spell, His eyes were the inspiration for your mom, as said in your mom. Once, he was struck by lightning, which caused him to gain multiple personalities, like Cat Crash.

Homies

Wyatt

Wyatt Fuckface Bernstein lives in Portland, Oregon, in an apartment with three sisters and his mom. His dad is a deadbeat who went to go "get milk" and never returned, resulting in him being far away from home most of the time and rarely being able to visit. Wyatt seems to have a severe hatred for mayonnaise (as he nicknamed it White Diarrhea) as well as loving doing activities with Crash!

Amanda

Amanda Elizabeth Bernstein is one of Wyatt and Crash's three sisters. Her personality is portrayed as the hot and popular eldest sister of Wyatt and Crash. She fucking hates Crash and holds a grudge against him for being a weirdo and a supporter of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism, often finding plots to get rid of him. On rare occasions, she does show feelings for Crash and secretly wants Crash though. Incest is the wincest!

Pesto

Samuel Oliver "Pesto" Banks is a very good friend of Wyatt and Crash. He has a huge ass crush on Amanda while Cleo has a crush on him. His parents own Iconic Arcade which is where he works. He used to hate Crash, but now seems to be desperate for his purple dick. Can't blame him. He's also a huge chad and can get any one just by showing his mustache. It is hidden knowledge but it is shown that he is the illegitimate son of Adolf Hitler.

Beema

Beema is Bernstein's science teacher. Crash shows detest for Beema and even tries to kill her in an episode. Oddly enough, the only episode Beema was featured in was a finland exclusive episode. Beema at first found Crash funny when she believed he was a birthday gift, but after learning Crash's true power she begins to detest him as well for his bashful and extroverted personality.

Gallery

Images

  • Crashshame.png
  • A stained glass depiction of Crash in the Church of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫.

    A stained glass depiction of Crash in the Church of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫.

  • Crash and Adolf Hitler.

    Crash and Adolf Hitler.

  • In physics, a crash is any event in which two or more bodies exert forces on each other in a relatively short time. Although the most common use of the word crash refers to incidents in which two or more objects collide with great force, the scientific use of the term implies nothing about the magnitude of the force.

    In physics, a crash is any event in which two or more bodies exert forces on each other in a relatively short time. Although the most common use of the word crash refers to incidents in which two or more objects collide with great force, the scientific use of the term implies nothing about the magnitude of the force.

Videos

Trivia

Story

  • Crash loves a doll that Jasmine owns called Princess Glitter until the day that he broke up with her due to her pussy being stank.
  • Crash is a Bi icon.
  • Crash is a war criminal.
  • Crash created a holiday called Crashenfest for the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society.
  • Crash is afraid of mustaches because of a trip to the doctor's office when he was stung by a scorpion, and later said, "Take me to Mount Rushmore. I want to jump of the mountain to end my suffering.”
  • Crash's favorite rainy day activity is being an edgelord and getting Hypothermia by being bare-ass naked in the rain.
  • Crash apparently like putting "mayo" in a sandwich.
  • Crash has a large amount of personas similar to Mort.
  • He is officially purple, though fanfictions seem to ignore this fact.
  • Crash has committed over 18 acts of domestic terrorism

Death

Unfortunately, Crash fucking died in the tragic thermonuclear blast sponsored by mickey mouse that served as the closure to the NPC-Freaky war along with 379344037532544285429594207506956042954609595642564695064206420959426244059595700560524695250976295605942695642065034878756742527534056204265454695469426545602095650256239560163595160357093157560990737957373279075759395061563103135082058248058024805480504552705704270702702704470570425704287702537025072705702370502753705135701570705701358138542025270570257047057042570704705427070425702704570427057024570427057042705072457047052704705704270502757042570704250727052705702470570245704270524705702705702456260626045602065694256265260275077057025027725277352057957427542702450247007704270570427042570245425086250528605086586026085628056802605720252072456270 others. 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 fimself posthumously memorialized him in his "grocery store" as one of the many stained glass portraits of brave, parted Freakers on the wall while you shop for tortilla chips.

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