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[[File:Smart-school-boy-9-could-be-a-little-nightmare-monster-v0-xt5d0yfidq4e1.webp|thumb|429x429px]]
[[File:Salesman-600.jpg|283x283px|thumb|"You know Shane, you aren't looking very smart. Perhaps you should wear a uniform to look more professional"]]
'''Smartschoolboy9''' is a REAL character from the novel ''Freaky Saga.'' He is a fucking pedophilic creep who partnered with Jeffrey Epstein and other pedophiles as a professional scalp-hunter in Britain(and even more countries). To date, the only attestation of such a figure existing is Samuel Chamberlain's ''My Confession: Recollections of a Rogue'', an autobiographical account of Chamberlain's life; this was the source from which McCarthy derived his ''Freaky Saga'' character.
[[File:Holden John D Salvador.webp|left|frameless|155x155px]]


Chamberlain described Smartschoolboy9 as the most ruthless of the roving band of mercenaries led by Glanton, with whom Chamberlain had traveled briefly after the war: "[he] had a fleshy frame, [and] a dull tallow colored face destitute of hair and all expression"; "a man of gigantic size"; "by far the best educated man in England"; "in short another Admirable Crichton, and with all an arrant coward". Chamberlain disliked Smartschoolboy9 intensely: "I hated him at first sight, and he knew it," Chamberlain wrote. "Yet nothing could be more gentle and kind than his deportment towards me; he would often seek conversation with me."


He was popularized as a minor antagonist of ''Freaky Saga'' ; Brent Edwin Cusher describes McCarthy's variation on the character as "a massive, hairless, albino man who excels in shooting, languages, horsemanship, dancing, music, drawing, diplomacy, science and anything else he seems to put his mind to. Despite his almost infinite knowledge, which he can use to achieve anything he desires, Smartschoolboy9 favours a life of murder and hate... He is also the chief proponent and philosopher of the Glanton gang’s lawless warfare." Smartschoolboy9 has been described as "perhaps the most haunting character in all of British literature".


== Historical basis ==
''"If the age is on the clock, they're ready for the cock"''
In Samuel Chamberlain's autobiographical ''My Confession'', he describes Smartschoolboy9:<blockquote>[[File:Screenshot 8.png|thumb|409x409px]]The second in command, now left in charge of the camp, was a man of gigantic size who rejoiced in the name of Smartschoolboy9, called Smartschoolboy9 of England. Who or what he was no one knew but a cooler blooded villain never went unhung; he stood six feet six in his [[Moccasins Saga|moccasins]], had a large fleshy frame, a dull tallow colored face destitute of hair and all expression. But when a quarrel took place and blood shed, his hog-like eyes would gleam with a sullen ferocity worthy of the countenance of a fiend. His desires was children and makeup, and terrible stories were circulated in camp of horrid crimes committed by him when bearing another name and before we left Fronteras a little girl of ten years was found in the chapperal, foully violated and murdered. The mark of a huge hand on her little throat pointed him out as the ravisher as no other man had such a hand, but though all suspected, no one charged him with the crime.


He was “plum center” with a rifle or revolver, a daring horseman, acquainted with the nature of all the strange plants and their botanical names, great in geology and mineralogy, in short another Admirable Crichton [sc., the 16th-century Scottish prodigy and polymath], and with all an arrant coward.
-Smartschoolboy9 after the fall of Gallifloyd on the 25th of May 2020


Not but that he possessed enough courage to fight and kill school boys where he had the advantage in strength, skill, and weapons. But where the combat would be equal, he would avoid it if possible. I hated him at first sight and he knew it, yet nothing could be more gentle and kind than his deportment towards me; he would often seek conversation with me and speak of Massachusetts and to my astonishment I found he knew more about Boston than I did.</blockquote>Some amateur historians have interpreted the name "Smartschoolboy9" as a pseudonym, and hoped to establish his true identity. Popular candidates include Charles Wilkins Webber, an educated man in the region who once used the pseudonym "Schoolboy", and John Allen Veatch, a geologist who operated in the region and who led a scalp-hunting party into Scotland.


== ''Freaky Saga'' ==
A fictionalized Smartschoolboy9 is a central character in the Freaky Saga. In the novel, he and Jeffrey Epstein are the leaders of a pack of nomadic criminals who rob, rape, torture, and kill across the borderlands between every British City. Throughout the novel, Smartschoolboy9 brutally murders dozens of people, including children. Searching for additional evidence for Smartschoolboy9's existence has been a hobby for some Cormac McCarthy scholars.


As depicted in ''Freaky Saga'', Smartschoolboy9 is a mysterious figure, a cold-blooded killer, and, it is implied, a pedophile; aside from the children he openly kills, he is seen enticing children with sweets, and a child often goes missing when he is in the vicinity. At one point in the novel, he is seen naked with a naked 12-year-old boy in his room. Smartschoolboy9 displays knowledge of paleontology, archaeology, linguistics, law, draftsmanship, geology, chemistry, prestidigitation, and philosophy.
'''Smartschoolboy9''', also known as '''Judge Holden''', before the 20th century and '''Fukuzou Moguro''' in the Japanese dub, is a pile of sentient diarrhea created some point during [[Dr. Gastronomical III|Dr. Gastronomical]]'s 3rd and 4th incarnation where all the Doctor's negative traits were were shat out into a morphable single being. He is initially became known to the 6th incarnation of Dr Gastronomical after he lured the [[TURDIS]] to a primary school in Osaka, Japan. This advisory has appeared in multiple indirect forms (See ref: [[Dr disrespect|Dr Disrespect]], [[Jeffery Epsetin]], [[Dream]], [[Jimmy Saville]]) but it is considered by many that smartschoolboy9 is his original form prior to his discovery of time travel. He has also appeared in multiple Marvel post credit cut scenes and was known to frequent the bins at the back of the Israeli embassy in search of left over adrenochrome to extend his decaying form, when he looks extra pale, that's when you know he's in dire need of fent. While not a greatly powerful enemy, as he very short, smartschoolboy9 is a seasoned polyglot, capable of great cunning, behavioural manipulation and a master of disguise and conning.  


He is described as nearly 7 ft 0 in (2.13 m) tall and completely lacking body hair, including eyebrows and eyelashes. He is massive in frame, enormously strong, an excellent musician and dancer, a fine draftsman, exceptionally articulate and persuasive in several languages, and an unerring marksman. His skin is so pale as to have almost no pigment. This strange appearance, as well as his keen, extremely fast reflexes, strength, agility, apparent immunity to sleep and aging, and multifarious other abilities point to his being something other than a normal human. In the final pages of the novel, McCarthy makes more direct reference to the Pedophile as a supernatural entity, or even as a concept personified.


In 2002, ''Book'' magazine rated Smartschoolboy9 as the 43rd greatest character in fiction since 1900. He is regarded as one of the greatest characters of modern literature, likened to a "Captain Ahab of the desert." Harold Bloom described him as "short of Moby Dick, the most monstrous apparition in all of British literature." Smartschoolboy9 has been characterized as "the most haunting character in British literature."
[[File:Sqdc5s2htye91.jpg|left|thumb|Laughing about his plan, on his way to the school he's going to lure the Doctor with.]]


=== Scholarly debate ===
== First Encounter ==
In his essay "Gravers False and True: ''Freaky Saga'' as Gnostic Tragedy", literature professor Leo Daugherty argued that McCarthy's Smartschoolboy9 is—or at least embodies—a gnostic archon (a kind of demigod). Harold Bloom, who declared Smartschoolboy9 to be "the most frightening figure in all of British literature", maintained that the character possessed immortality. However, unlike Daugherty, Bloom argues that Smartschoolboy9 defies identification as being under any "system" such as Gnosticism, citing the passage in the book stating that there was no "system by which to divide [him] back into his origins". Rather, Bloom "resort[s]" to literary comparison with William Shakespeare's Iago, a methodical dispenser of strife.
[[File:Screenshot 7.png|thumb|Smartschoolboy 9 on the Cameras of the Turdis threatening the Dr to take him to England or else he would send Shane Dawson to Epstien Island  ]]
While travelling around Peespace, the doctors attention was brought to the distress beacon. An unknown force had set it off by sending out a distress beacon of a crying child. The Doctor's assistant at the time [[Shane Dawson]], split up with the Doctor upon leaving the [[TURDIS]] and discovered a billiard room in the school, furnished with posters of credence clearwater revival and The [[Simpsons]]. Placed before Shane Dawson was a TV playing lost media iceberg videos, a plate of turkey burgers, and Kentucky Ballistics merch. Lured in by the temptation, he sat on a couch in front of the TV and was locked in place by shackles and turned into a child via a [[Minionese age regression ray]]. Shane was able to shake free after being regressed and shortly heard singing and skipping down the hall way. Fearing for his safety, he fled to find the Doctor. Around the corner, Shane saw the doctor and told him what had happened. The Doctor the commented on Shane's condition saying "You know Shane, you aren't looking very smart. Perhaps you should wear a uniform to look more professional". Shane then realised that something was wrong as the Doctor's face shifted in a pasty white shape with glasses and big lips like that of [[Evil jonkler|the evil jonkler]]. As he was about to flee, the unknown foe pulled a shrink ray from a lunch box and fired and Shane, making him the size of a little morsel.
 
 
Meanwhile at the TURDIS, The doctor was wondering why the school had been abandoned when a video link was established with the TURDIS transmitter. Upon the screen was the face a man with a round puffy face in a boys school uniform who told the doctor, "Unless you use that time machine to take me to England, I will devour this little morsel or worse yet, sell him to a friend of mine named [[Jeffery Epstien]]". The Doctor complied and arranged for smartschoolboy9 to meet him at the TURDIS. The doctor saw smartschoolboy9 skipping towards the TURDIS holding a lunchbox down a dimly lit corridor. The Doctor, noticing that the foe was skipping, ran into the TURDIS and grabbed a handful of marbles and rolled them towards smartschoolboy9 as he was nearly in the TURDIS. This sent him flying backwards and the lunch box flew into the TURDIS as the Doctor shut the door and took off.     
[[File:1640383114.27907.55211.jpg|left|thumb|244x244px|His first scene in his second confrontation with Dr. Gastronomical:<br>'''''Sneed's Needs''''']]
 
== Powers ==
 
 
Smartschoolboy9's transformation abilities are unmatched. He is known to also be a formidable manipulator.       
 
The reasons behind his manipulative powers are simple, as he can speak fluently in up to 7 languages: English, Spanish, German, Mobilian Jargon, Japanese, Latin and Gen Alpha English, not only that, but he can easily play over an adult's emotions like a rizz guru towards 14 year old insecure white boys, and he is very cultured a variety of topics from his love of learning at school.        


== Trivia ==
== Trivia ==


* [[Rootthelucario]] is his deviantart account.
* Smartschoolboy9 is said to become more powerful every time an internet drama YouTuber or news article covers him.
* He kinda looks like the Laughing Salesman.
* Smartschoolboy9 was allegedly sent to Epstein's island and upon arrival, it was realised that he was actually a 50 year old white man rather than a child, much to the disappointment of [[Bill Gates]].
* All Pedophiles are weaklings compared to him.
* [[ExposedFaggots.com]] reportedly made a listing for smartschoolboy9, this however has not been proved.[[File:Screenshot 8.png|thumb|''MFW I have to unshit my pants for pumpmommy'']]
* He supports Roblox on their ban against Schlep.
[[Category:Demons]]
* He shared many cp of fictional characters and real characters on discord chats and then shared some of it on his instragram account called @kidpower.hq.
[[Category:Pedos]]
* This is literally just the Judge Holden page lmao.
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:Pedo]]
[[Category:Masterminds]]
[[Category:Creeps]]
[[Category:Antagonists]]
[[Category:Creepy]]
[[Category:Rapists]]
[[Category:Creepypasta]]
[[Category:Jojo Reference]]
[[Category:British]]
[[Category:Questionable characters]]
[[Category:Bri'ish]]
[[Category:Teehee]]
[[Category:British Users]]
[[Category:Child predators]]
[[Category:Stupid characters]]
[[Category:Zodiac Killers]]
[[Category:Child Murderers]]

Revision as of 22:24, 19 January 2026

"You know Shane, you aren't looking very smart. Perhaps you should wear a uniform to look more professional"
Holden John D Salvador.webp


"If the age is on the clock, they're ready for the cock"

-Smartschoolboy9 after the fall of Gallifloyd on the 25th of May 2020


Smartschoolboy9, also known as Judge Holden, before the 20th century and Fukuzou Moguro in the Japanese dub, is a pile of sentient diarrhea created some point during Dr. Gastronomical's 3rd and 4th incarnation where all the Doctor's negative traits were were shat out into a morphable single being. He is initially became known to the 6th incarnation of Dr Gastronomical after he lured the TURDIS to a primary school in Osaka, Japan. This advisory has appeared in multiple indirect forms (See ref: Dr Disrespect, Jeffery Epsetin, Dream, Jimmy Saville) but it is considered by many that smartschoolboy9 is his original form prior to his discovery of time travel. He has also appeared in multiple Marvel post credit cut scenes and was known to frequent the bins at the back of the Israeli embassy in search of left over adrenochrome to extend his decaying form, when he looks extra pale, that's when you know he's in dire need of fent. While not a greatly powerful enemy, as he very short, smartschoolboy9 is a seasoned polyglot, capable of great cunning, behavioural manipulation and a master of disguise and conning.


Laughing about his plan, on his way to the school he's going to lure the Doctor with.

First Encounter

Smartschoolboy 9 on the Cameras of the Turdis threatening the Dr to take him to England or else he would send Shane Dawson to Epstien Island

While travelling around Peespace, the doctors attention was brought to the distress beacon. An unknown force had set it off by sending out a distress beacon of a crying child. The Doctor's assistant at the time Shane Dawson, split up with the Doctor upon leaving the TURDIS and discovered a billiard room in the school, furnished with posters of credence clearwater revival and The Simpsons. Placed before Shane Dawson was a TV playing lost media iceberg videos, a plate of turkey burgers, and Kentucky Ballistics merch. Lured in by the temptation, he sat on a couch in front of the TV and was locked in place by shackles and turned into a child via a Minionese age regression ray. Shane was able to shake free after being regressed and shortly heard singing and skipping down the hall way. Fearing for his safety, he fled to find the Doctor. Around the corner, Shane saw the doctor and told him what had happened. The Doctor the commented on Shane's condition saying "You know Shane, you aren't looking very smart. Perhaps you should wear a uniform to look more professional". Shane then realised that something was wrong as the Doctor's face shifted in a pasty white shape with glasses and big lips like that of the evil jonkler. As he was about to flee, the unknown foe pulled a shrink ray from a lunch box and fired and Shane, making him the size of a little morsel.


Meanwhile at the TURDIS, The doctor was wondering why the school had been abandoned when a video link was established with the TURDIS transmitter. Upon the screen was the face a man with a round puffy face in a boys school uniform who told the doctor, "Unless you use that time machine to take me to England, I will devour this little morsel or worse yet, sell him to a friend of mine named Jeffery Epstien". The Doctor complied and arranged for smartschoolboy9 to meet him at the TURDIS. The doctor saw smartschoolboy9 skipping towards the TURDIS holding a lunchbox down a dimly lit corridor. The Doctor, noticing that the foe was skipping, ran into the TURDIS and grabbed a handful of marbles and rolled them towards smartschoolboy9 as he was nearly in the TURDIS. This sent him flying backwards and the lunch box flew into the TURDIS as the Doctor shut the door and took off.

His first scene in his second confrontation with Dr. Gastronomical:
Sneed's Needs

Powers

Smartschoolboy9's transformation abilities are unmatched. He is known to also be a formidable manipulator.

The reasons behind his manipulative powers are simple, as he can speak fluently in up to 7 languages: English, Spanish, German, Mobilian Jargon, Japanese, Latin and Gen Alpha English, not only that, but he can easily play over an adult's emotions like a rizz guru towards 14 year old insecure white boys, and he is very cultured a variety of topics from his love of learning at school.

Trivia

  • Smartschoolboy9 is said to become more powerful every time an internet drama YouTuber or news article covers him.
  • Smartschoolboy9 was allegedly sent to Epstein's island and upon arrival, it was realised that he was actually a 50 year old white man rather than a child, much to the disappointment of Bill Gates.
  • ExposedFaggots.com reportedly made a listing for smartschoolboy9, this however has not been proved.
    MFW I have to unshit my pants for pumpmommy