Willow
| “ | I once knew a melon named Walter. He was a jerk! | ” |
-Willow during the Jim Crow era | ||
Willow is by far the scariest mfkr in all places spooky like: Hell, Mordor, Halloween Town, the hood and the Constant. She is the harbinger of ruin and has a teddy bear she calls Bernie who is also an agent of destruction, but is also her sex slave. Pooh's Adventures Correlation Theory suggests that said the correlation between her towards Bernie, and Mr. Bean towards Teddy, hints that she may be a relative to the destructive eldritch hominid, though realistically it's probably just a coincidence. Weeaboos think that the bear is a stand, but their opinions don't matter. Nevertheless Bernie saves her in more ways than one when she's close to death, ego and literal.
Background:[edit | edit source]
As a child she discovered her fetish for inferno when she played with matches unattended, she got caught by the flame and died a slow painful death, however she gets reincarnated by two cats shown in the photo through crafting a Life Amulet for Willow's ghost to haunt back to life, now with an immunity to burning. This set her on a coom addicted quest to feel the same masochism as she did when she first burn to death, though she will never die from burning to death ever again, that would not stop her quest for gooning to burning alive.
Her Goffick Years[edit | edit source]
She's a major supporting character in the 2007 horror comedy novel: My Immortal, being one of Eboney's goffic friends and a member of the house of Syltheren, showing that she tried learning Japanese (was shit at it), was a goth and therefore wore black and listened to MCR and Good Charlotte in her teen years, and at one point dated Diabolo (Ron) Weasley. She along with Eboney and her laughing joking numbnuts that are her friends tried stop Tom Rid from killing Ebony or some shit like that. In the end she got expelled from Hogwarts after burning down the kitchen and murdering mandrakes for being loud and annoying. In response, she faked her death hung out for a little longer, only to get bored and leaving her goffick life behind, burning down that spooky forest near Hagrid's house as she left.
Rumor has it, that she worked for Carter during or right after her goffick years.
Adult Life[edit | edit source]
She would soon go around making dumpster fires and burning down an orphanage or library here and there for shits and giggles until she met Jeff the Killer who she kicked his ass and burnt off his eyelids so he will forever be painfully become blind. With this new found knack for torturing scary killers, she went to find the most frightful people to have existed at her time, leading her to becoming a domestic terrorist to New Meridian and a rival to Monkey Phoenix Wright in how much property damage they could do to grocery stores across the world.
The Romantic Sub Plot in her Life[edit | edit source]
in 2015, she was caught after 75 years of being missing and 3 years after being sighted again, unaged, and was put on trial for her serial terrorist attacks in the 1st circle of hell. Her defendant lawyer was Tyrone. The only important thing about the trial however was it took a long ass time, and the prosecutor was Miles Edgeworth, who made Willow really thirsty for him. The trial went on for long enough that the two fell in love, in much the same pace and logic a stereotypical shipping fan-fiction goes, and so in the end, that love complex caused her to be labelled as not guilty.
The day Willow became a free woman again, Edgeworth finally proposed Willow, hand in marriage, and to move somewhere together, she passionately consented, even agreeing to leave her life of arson behind, however a day later Edgeworth died from a car accident. Broken by this Willow went to the house of the person who killed edgeworth and burnt down her house, she then nearby car garage sale and blew it up, and overall carries on her fiery killing spree today, not only genociding spooky people, but also cars!
Incidents, Sightings and Rumors[edit | edit source]
- In 2013, Mel Cuck claimed to have found Willow pretending to be a wendigo in Yellowstone Park.
- In 2014, Tyler Blethens found a cooked remains of the Killer Turkey from Thankskilling, when asked about the finding, he commented this "That muthafucker was the tastiest shit I ever had, fam, i had to eat it i was so damn hungry, its gauht that rite level of juciness like my mom's pussy and dat rite level of crispiness, I swear dat crazy bitch was one who diddit!"
- In 2017, EDP445, claimed he found Mothman and tried to eat his ass. Prior to being caught that he was a pedo, he later claimed that he found Willow dressed in Mothman's skin and attacked him with a Fire Staff, giving his ass second degree burns
- In 2019, a man has fallen into the river in LEGO City, however the rescue helicopter was found burnt and busted, so they had to call Master Hand to start building the new rescue helicopter. It is believed Willow was responsible for the destruction of the original helicopter.
Willow talking to her fetish.
Willow and her sex slave after burning down some shitty park full of spiders or something.
A sketch description of Willow assassinating an unsuspecting man bathing in Hoja-Baciu Woods (1934).
Willow's Hair Fetish, for obvious reasons.
