Baldi Bouapha
| “ | Baldi as an emo NPC | ” |
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| Baldi Bouapha | ||
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[[File:
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| HAMMER UP!!!! | ||
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Alias(es) |
Cheese Pizza Collector | |
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Species |
Metahuman, similar to Saitama | |
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Education |
Master of Science of Mathematics | |
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Sex |
Male | |
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Alignment |
NPC Alliance (formerly) | |
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Residence |
Freaky High and the Freaky Galaxy | |
Baldi also known as Baldi Bouapha is the titular antagonist of Baldis Basics in Education and Learning! as well as Dr. Lunatic Supreme With Cheese. He is a male head math teacher with a profound love for the subject of math. Baldi had troubles in school, and was once exposed for going on strike in 2011. Baldi, when he was 4, had a massive tumor on his forehead. And as it healed, Baldi's forehead became more shiny as the years went by.
Baldi luxuriously has 1 singular piece of hair he grew up with since 12. He had pushed GoGoGoGOGOGOGO!!!! Goo out of a bottle on his head in theory to make it feel better and stay. 1 day later he noticed hair loss on his head, which, after the massive scandal, removed his beautiful hair. He then was left with 1 piece of hair, which he had beforehand and also stood up. Baldi befriended his 1 piece of hair, and he has loved it ever since then. Upon entering the age of 16, he got a new ruler. And like his piece of hair, he quickly fell in love with it. He started off as an NPC in his debut being emo and was a background character within the Good Society pre-timeskip introduced as Luigi's even taller half-brother raised by Kario, but at some point he would join the Society Squad and in post-timeskip he would later transform into a very angry individual declaring war on the holidays because Halloween and later Christmas made him mad. Due to his hatred of the Lords of Childhood, he became a member of the Freaky Society. However, he didn't just join overnight, as he had a history of killing 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers in hopes to keep his NPC teaching job prior to joining the Society. He was at one point very ruthless with kids, often being called a "child murderer" doing things that other NPCs and even 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers look down on. Mr. Game & Watch once considered Baldi to be one of his favorite teachers (perhaps because Mr. Game & Watch likes seeing children get beat by a ruling stick) as Ren and Talking Ben's son until he had discovered that Baldi actually liked furries and was hoarding Cheese Pizza from Pizza Fucker Krabs.
Biography[edit | edit source]
The Meme Saga[edit | edit source]
Life As An Emo[edit | edit source]
Baldi is often considered to be a depressed emo teacher trapped in a monotonous routine. Before turning bald, he was often dressed in stylized edgy clothes, hid behind messy bangs, and spent his lunch breaks alone in the teacher’s lounge, sipping cold coffee and sketching song lyrics into his gradebook. Baldi during his early years was disappointed that he didn't have a mustache like his father, Kario, the abusive parent that also "raised" Mario and Luigi, so he wanted to become SMART. So Baldi grew up and became a teacher, but, unfortunately, not a very good teacher as he would barely pass his math classes in collage and simply cheat to pass.
In fact, Baldi is just as stupid as the students he teaches! It's honestly surprising that Baldi never got fired, but when Mr. Game & Watch, a key figure in the NPC Alliance and proud backer of CollegeBoard is (or was) his biggest fan, it is hard to get fired by the school board. Though he genuinely cared about teaching, years of ungrateful students and apathetic colleagues left him withdrawn and pessimistic. To Baldi, math eventually became a metaphor for his own life, an existence full of negative numbers and unsolvable problems. His dreams of playing in a math‑rock band had long been replaced by stacks of ungraded homework, and his ruler—once a harmless fidget tool—was just something to tap out the rhythm of his boredom. Baldi’s isolation, combined with his deep self‑doubt, made him the perfect embodiment of the “sad depressed emo teacher nobody understands."
Over time, though, this quiet despair transformed into the strict, ruler‑slapping rage, that we see in the rest of Act 1, the Meme Saga. Despite this Baldi still hasn't abandoned his sadness, simply choosing to embrace rage, turning his melancholy into obsessive discipline, enforcing math problems with unrelenting fury with pure, weaponized frustration.
Class Warfare[edit | edit source]
After 2010, Baldi's madness would only grow and grow, eventually leading to him encountering 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 and his 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴tures. Baldi during the late 2010s would march through the crumbling school halls, with a ruler on one hand and a rifle he confiscated from a potential school shooter, a while back. The Freaktures—twisted, horrific monstrosities aimed by doing freaky crimes 24/7 spawned from FreakyBob’s 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂cooties—shamble toward the classrooms, but Baldi refuses to let a single student get taken by the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴tures. He drags the kids behind him, muttering equations under his breath like war chants, his empty eyes finally burning with purpose.
Despite being known as a notorious Cheese Pizza hoarder—stockpiling enough to turn the teacher’s lounge into a dairy‑scented vault—Baldi uses his greasy stacks as improvised barricades. He doesn’t care if the figures outside his school mock him calling him a CP hoarder; if a wall of congealed mozzarella is what it takes to slow down 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫’s 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴tures, then he will do what ever is necessary to survive 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫's madness. Between gunshots and furious ruler slaps, he shouts at the kids to “stay behind the cheese pizza wall and don’t get a single answer wrong!” His voice, once monotone, now carries a desperate edge of resolve. In the chaos, Baldi becomes an unlikely protector for the NPC Alliance and Good Society. Each shot he fires echoes like a failed math problem corrected by force, every slammed ruler a declaration of defiance. Baldi, doesn't understand why 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 is attacking his classroom, as he simply wants to keep his job as a Math teacher.
Declaring War On the Holidays[edit | edit source]
His crusade against Pumpkins and the Lord of Halloween have earned him the title of the "Gourdslayer." He has blue pants, big eyes, a pointy nose, and a much more hidden mouth. Bouapha generally fights by throwing big red hammers, and obtained his powerful hammer between the timeskip and unintentionally manipulating the fall of the physical form of Thor to obtain his hammer. The haunted battlefields became the stage for a new challenger—Bouapha, hammer in hand, eyes unblinking, and driven by his endless vendetta against the pumpkin scourge. When Silas Mann, the Horseless Headless Horsemann, rose to terrorize the Teufort Nine mercenaries once again, Bouapha followed close behind—not as an ally, but as an unstoppable, hammer-throwing wildcard who cared little for RED or BLU seeking for himself above others.
| “ | Baldi's theme once he becomes the "Gourdslayer" to destroy the Lords of Childhood | ” |
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He stopped caring about the NPC Alliance as Mr. Game & Watch and others would continue to cut his pay. He needed to kick the joy out of others, and the best way to get his revenge was to fight against the Lords of Childhood in order to prevent kids form having time off in hopes to beat them with his rule stick. Along the way he would learn about a mad scientist who was too weak to be one of Xehanort's Major Arcana, the mad scientist, Dr. Lunatic was back and he had a scheme that involved locking himself up in a prison of his own making known as Dr. Lunatic's Crazy Asylum of Madness. Dr. Lunatic was at it again, this time being even more of a chud with no penis, a second time. Baldi sought after the 4 Keys of Lunacy in hopes to teach that chud a lesson. Dr. Lunatic has gone beyond just torturing children with his Ghetto Rays, as an exile of M.A.D.B.R.O.W.I.N.E. he is now taking the brains out of zombies and putting them into the heads of other zombies to create a race of super zombies within the state of Ohio. Baldi would later beat him not with his mighty hammer and ruling stick, but he would work out to be a chad and wipe out every minion he would lay his hands on.
Prepping For Doomsday[edit | edit source]
While finishing to clear out the Crazy Asylum of Madness of the Chaos forces, within the site's dimly lit faculty room, he intercepted a strange transmission on an old, dust-covered radio. At first, it was only static. Then came the radio voice:
| “ | Radio Transmission, Halls of Lunacy | ” |
-THE NEO-SATANISTS WILL CLEANSE THIS WORLD. THE GODS HAVE FAILED HUMANITY. OUR SOLUTION: OBLITERATION. | ||
The words chilled him to his very core. Baldi then spent sleepless nights researching the message, uncovering a web of occult signals, encrypted coordinates, and hidden doctrines that all pointed to one horrifying conclusion: the Neo-Satanists were preparing a doomsday ritual to erase Earth from existence. He had quit his job to fight against the holidays, now he wanted back in to warn others. He made sure to pack up for Doomsday, keeping a large arsenal against the upcoming doomsday event. His warnings were dismissed as “another one of Baldi’s math metaphors.” Even when the sky darkened and the Neo-Satanists’ ritual sigils began etching themselves in the clouds, Baldi realized there was only one way to survive: escape. Rumors spread of an interstellar evacuation ship, a vessel designed to transport humanity to a “New Earth” in a distant star system.
The NPC Alliance Denies Baldi Refugee[edit | edit source]
Baldi sprinted to the launch site, ruler in hand, equations scribbled all over his notebook… only to find himself face-to-face with an unexpected gatekeeper, his biggest fan. Standing at the ship’s entrance was Mr. Game & Watch, flat, unyielding, and utterly unreadable. When Baldi pleaded his case, Mr. Game & Watch simply flipped his frying pan in silence and held out a sign that said, "NO ENTRY!" Mr. Game & Watch, a being of pure binary judgment, didn’t waver to let him in. The other members of the NPC Alliance simply recounted all the times Baldi put his interests over the Good Society and called him for what he was, a terrorist. With a single dismissive “beep,” Mr. Game & Watch flipped the launch lever. The doors sealed. Engines roared. And as the ship ascended into the heavens, Baldi stood alone, ruler trembling in his hand, luckily, he had seen a vision from Freakystian prior to this and then came to invade the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Galaxy, however, entry and acceptance into the society wasn't going to be easy.
Act 2[edit | edit source]
Breaking into the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Galaxy[edit | edit source]
This realm was no ordinary stretch of space. Planets drifted in non-Euclidean orbits, stars blinked in sync like watchful eyes, and the void was filled with strange cosmic music that sounded like 16-bit school bells. Here, math didn’t work the same way—it screamed. Every equation Baldi wrote would twist, warp, and rewrite itself. Still, Baldi pressed on. For him, this wasn’t just exploration. This was extra credit on a universal scale.
The 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Society Acts Hostile Towards Baldi, Gets Spared[edit | edit source]
On the first inhabited world he discovered, a new planet that he was dropped on to, he would encounter 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 and 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂's legion of orks. Instead of retaliating, Baldi simply smiled (or at least gave the impression of a smile—his mouth remained hidden). He slammed his ruler on the ground, producing a thunderous crack that echoed across dimensions, and with a single terrifying equation, he proved their calculations flawed. 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 and 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 would have called him an NPC traitor and kill him, but despite this he was spared but placed into an embarrassing situation that could be considered a real danger.
Baldi Murders More NPCs[edit | edit source]
One by one, the NPCs of the AA𝓕S fell—not out of cruelty, but out of correction. In Baldi’s view, every poorly-coded aggressor was simply an error to be erased, a bad answer to be marked wrong. Some say the sound of his ruler striking echoed so loudly that it was heard in the Neo-Satanists’ inner sanctum. Others claim that in the aftermath, Baldi wrote an entire proof in blood-red chalk across the stars, "NO MISTAKES. NO ESCAPE!"
Joining the Freaky Society[edit | edit source]
| “ | Baldi joins the Freaky Society | ” |
- Hello? Fanum there? I will tax you. Stick out that gyat for Freaky Bob and flicker goon mogger mew Are you boxy boo? Ohio sigma tune. W You cannot out rizz the rizzler You think that you're the Jonkler Now that my aura is here You're never gonna get out of here. Haha! Just keep edging! Do you have what it takes for jelqing? While we munt in the backrooms. Oohh... I am mewed... Hmm, you aren't so bad. You are a sigma chad! Hey let's keep edging this meme! Its skibidi! Oh... Ermm.. what the sigma? Now all you gotta do is... Buckle your shoe for the king of Ohio! Just Kidding! Hawk Tuah Time! After all we cant stop the lobotomy An 8 ball of coke cannot rizz the Mr Beast We run away from the Grimace Shake skibidi Gegagedegedagedago, stick out that gyat 'cuz i'm a freak! | ||
After murdering several followers of the AA𝓕S, Baldi would finally be accepted as an elite member of the Society. For the first time, Baldi lowered his ruler—not in defeat, but in respect. 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 extended a warped, glitching hand, and Baldi, with the precision of a perfect equation, accepted it. In that instant, a strange harmony resonated through the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Galaxy: teacher and Freaks united. From that day forward, Baldi was no longer an outsider—he was a full-fledged member of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫’s Society, ready to enforce their single, undeniable law across the stars: "If you want in on the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism. Then declare yourself what you wish. There are no rules anywhere. BLACK POWER!" Baldi then sent all the Cheese Pizza he collected finding out that he had been taking CP straight from Pizza Fucker Krabs the whole time. Baldi then shook hands with Pizza Fucker Krabs' greasy cheese pizza hands, and he laughed at Baldi to cheer him on saying, "So, you must Fuck Pizzas! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!"
Personality[edit | edit source]
Baldi is a friendly and organized math teacher. At first. After somebody answers a question wrong during his Math Class, he will proceed to beat them up with his ruler. Upon entering the age of 16, he got a new ruler. And like his piece of hair, he quickly fell in love with it and his piece of hair using its hair loss offensive powers. Baldi starting off as an emo is a strict and highly disciplined individual who hides his deep-seated melancholy behind an obsessive focus on rules and order. Though he was once quiet and withdrawn, his personality has hardened into an intense, almost unrelenting drive for control. He enforces his standards with an iron will, wielding his ruler not just as a teaching tool but as an extension of his authority, punishing mistakes with an unnerving mix of precision and frustration. Despite this, there are traces of his old, gloomy nature in his demeanor, reflected in his dry tone and an underlying sense of dissatisfaction.
Beneath his harsh exterior, Baldi’s behavior is rooted in a strange combination of bitterness and determination. He is methodical, organized, and unwilling to tolerate disorder, often approaching every situation as though it were another math problem to be solved. His interactions are defined by a lack of warmth, favoring blunt corrections over comfort, and his obsessive tendencies make him both highly reliable and intimidating. While his rage may dominate his outward personality, it is fueled by a lingering sadness that he has redirected into strict enforcement and rigid control.
Despite his grim nature, Baldi is not entirely devoid of passion. He clings to peculiar habits, such as his love for cheese pizza, which reveal a strange, almost comical side beneath his otherwise severe personality. This small eccentricity highlights the contrast within him—a figure both disciplined and oddly human in his quirks. Though cold and relentless in his methods, Baldi’s behavior reflects a man who has turned his discontent into a relentless, if eccentric, pursuit of order.
Baldi's love for Cheese Pizza[edit | edit source]
Baldi’s love for Pizza Fucker Krabs’s cheese pizzas comes from their simplicity and reliability, which appeal to his obsessive, math-driven personality. To him, every pizza is a perfect formula—crust, sauce, and cheese in flawless proportion—offering comfort and control in a world that constantly frustrates him. Their excessive greasiness and over-the-top nature resonate with his own extreme tendencies, turning a simple food into a strange source of emotional stability.
Over time, this attachment has grown into something almost symbolic. Baldi hoards the pizzas not only as comfort food but as tools of survival and defiance, treating them as immovable walls of greasy order in the face of chaos. In his mind, Pizza Fucker Krabs’s cheese pizzas aren’t just a meal—they are proof that even in a life full of failed equations and ungrateful students, one constant, perfect solution will always exist.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
Baldi appears to have a head shaped like a Maraca. He has a green Long-sleeved shirt with blue jeans and brown shoes. Baldi has a very long nose. His eyes are very wide and it appears he uses Lipstick. Baldi is bald and currently wears a green shirt with a pumpkin and the "no" symbol on it (a red circle with a line through it) symbolizing his hatred against the Lords of Childhood. In Dr. Lunatic, the more Hammer Ups he picks up, the more hammers he throws at one time. He can also throw them faster by picking up Pants of Power, make them bounce off solid objects with Sproingy Springs, and throw hammers backwards and forwards with Reverse Hammers!
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- He is a supporter of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society
- He is best friends with Jonkler
- His arch nemesis in Dr. Lunatic is Dr. Lunatic, a living virgin with no penis that doesn't stand a chance.
- He's a Tumblr Sexyman, like Starlo.
- He is a former member of the Society Squad.