Jonathan Spectacles
|
(WIP probably forever since im an incompetent FUCK)
Jonathan Spectacles is a right plonker, innit? He's this spotty git who's always rocking naff ginnel-sized glasses and runs a shop floggin' peepers.
On the surface, he's just a mellow geezer who's got a crackpot passion for glasses, but, mate, behind closed doors, he's a depressive Pickwick-smoker who's addicted to the drink and gets himself into the most daft, Spiral Scrapes, Happy Families- style, mental states, yeah? Gob-smackingly dodgy, really. I mean, the bloke once tried to stop his shop, which is like a giant wind up, innit, rollin' off down the high street 'cause some pillock left a nail in the basement, like, and eh, would've killed the lot of 'em, flattened the whole dreamscape, got the council in a pickle, 'n' all. Major, like, emphasis on "tried" yeah?
Proud owner of the Gromit Mug™
He lives in a eyeglass superstore resembling a giant pair of glasses. Everything within the store also resembles eyeglasses, including the doorknob, the windows, the lights on the ceiling and even the walls. The various coo-coo clock birds they have are also shown wearing glasses.
Jonathan Testicles is his freaky Irish arch-rival.
Biography
Birth and childhood
Jonathan Spectacles was born on May 1, 1998 in Cockinmouth, England to a pair of eccentric Bri'ish eyeglass store owners. They were upset that he didn't physically take on the form of a pair of glasses and put the consideration of putting him up for adoption, but they eventually backed out. They instead opted to force make him as obsessed with glasses as humanly possible by making him be exposed to ultraviolet light in order to partially blind him so he can wear glasses at age 1. This began his obsession with glasses so his parents' plan ended up completely successful.