General Woundwort
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General Woundwort is approved by Oswaldo T. Floridaman. |
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The following is complete, 100%, without a doubt, according to the creator, sarcastically, A JOKE. Don't be triggered about this or I might go insane on you. READ AT YOUR RISK. |
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| General Woundwort | ||
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Pronouns |
He/Him | |
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Friends |
Dr. Hamsterviel | |
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Enemies |
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Sex |
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Sexuality |
straight probably | |
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Nationality |
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Alignment |
chaotic neutral | |
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Status |
alive but faked his death | |
General "Chungus" Woundwort is a general if you didn't already know by his name dumbass and a warlord who runs a vile and despicable chiefdom in southern England called Efrafa. He was born in Kingston, Jamaica in 1789 and is currently still alive at 236 years old. It is unknown how the fuck he's still alive at his age. Shortly after his infancy, he moved to Hampshire, England. A few years later, he went to ambush Napoleon while he was out hunting. 100 or so years later he did the same thing but with Jimmy Carter while he was fishing.
Around the early 1800s, he was in an intense rivalry with Jacques Hamsterviel due to him siding with the French. They got into numerous Spy vs. Spy-like scenarios, each one more absurd than the last, to kill each other with it backfiring tremendously every single time. Some time after the Napoleonic Wars ended due to the Minions friendly firing and killing Napoleon, the two met in a claustrophobic room, and the General introduced the Doctor to tea and had a lengthy talk session, sharing then-recent gossip, stories and personal shite, which led to them befriending and becoming partners-in-crime, a friendship that literally never ended despite 200 years later when Woundwort and Hamsterviel parted ways by deciding to become an NPC and the latter a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. Luckily for him, he still has Eric Cartman.
Personality[edit | edit source]
He is a wroth, unforgiving, paranoid and manipulative brown hare who treats everyone he doesn't know, even his fellow NPCs, with great disdain and distrust and it was later revealed that he only befriended Hamsterviel thanks to him having a vaguely similar personality to him. He is quick to scorn and shouts profanity every 6 seconds. Although he portrays himself as an "i'll fuck you up"-type, he praises Dotar Surk in his spare time and is seemingly very fearful of him. He's likely schizo since he's able to hear his own heartbeat half of the time amongst other noises. His immortality is oft cited for his descent into insanity.
Despite his best efforts to appear so, characters who are taller than him, aka 99% of the Freaky Saga cast, aren't intimidated by him despite him claiming so. This did not stop him from getting a canonical kill count of 8 in the saga, which is pathetic given FreakyBob's 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Douglas the Doorknob is afraid of him though, what a pussy.
Biography[edit | edit source]
he was born in kingston jamaica in 1789 and shit, man! then some weasel ate his mom and his dad moved him to london but that was too crowded for them and so they moved to some farm instead in hampshire. he ate carrots and shit idk man.
But his big break happened when he literally sailed himself down to France to face off against Napoleon Dynamite but ended up facing up against Dr. Hamsterviel instead. After fighting each other for 9 years, they reconciled and became friends, doing all kinds of horrific shit in the name of their friendship. They are both responsible for the severed head in the Applebee's toilet in Onalaska, Wisconsin.