Mounds Bars

Want half a Mounds bar?

What? Who eats a Mounds bar?

I do.

My whole life, I don't think I've ever seen a single person eat a Mounds bar.

Well, you're about to see one now.

So, you walk into a store, you see the hundreds of options for candy, and you choose a Mounds bar?

Yep.

So, what is it you like? The coconut? The chocolate?

Yeah, both those things.

How long have you been eating them?

Uh... I've probably been having a Mounds bar two or three times a day for the last 25 years.

GEEZ, NO WONDER YOU CAN'T WALK! YOU HAVE TOTAL RENAL SHUTDOWN! YOUR KIDNEYS ARE DROWNING IN A STEW OF CHOCOLATE AND COCONUT, GIVE ME THAT!

What are you doing?