Pesto
The Lad Behind the Slaughter
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"Pesto" HAS BEEN APPROVED BY EVERYONE EVER! |
| You know there'll be jokes. |
| Community Page โ Megacollaboration |
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Pesto is a megacollab community page, meaning that anyone can contribute to it! Pages like these were created by lots of different people, so the writing styles may be different throughout the articles.
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Alias(es) |
Nicknames | |
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Birth date |
September 11, 2001 | |
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Occupation(s) |
Annoying Amanda | |
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Education |
Linus Touch Tips Senior High
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Friends |
Wyatt Bernstein (best friend) | |
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Affiliation(s) |
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Sex |
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Ethnicity |
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Height |
Pesto | |
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Weight |
Pesto | |
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Complexion |
Light Orange | |
Italian
Samuel Oliver "Pesto" Banks (ใตใใฅใจใซใปใชใชใใผใปโใในใโใปใใณใฏใน Samyueru Oribฤ โPesutoโ Bankusu) is the deuteragonist of the hit anime, Crash & Bernstein, and the best friend of Wyatt and Crash. He has a huge ass crush on Amanda Bernstein while Cleo Bernstein has a crush on him. His parents own Iconic Arcade, a famous arcade spot in Frosty Mart which is where he works. He used to hate Crash, but now seems to be desperate for his purple dick. Can't blame him. He is also a huge chad and can get any one just by showing his mustache and pubic hair. It is hidden knowledge but it is shown that he is the illegitimate son of renown Austrian artist, Adolf Hitler.
Characteristics and Traits
Pesto was nice to Wyatt but he was a dickhead to Crash at first. However, he later became good friends with Crash after realizing how much of an asshole he was. When he's around Amanda, he gets all flirty but not with Cleo though. He can get pretty nervous and scared sometimes. He is very romantic especially when it comes to girls but then he became a trap and fell in love with Crash's throbbing purple cock.
History and Biography
Before the NPC-๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ War
Pesto was born an incredible man, he saved his family from a fire by creating a device that instantly decimated anything, and then used it to destroy all flammable material in the house. He then went on to invent the wheel, and also created a sustainable business all on his own. At just eight years old, Pesto had already gained control over the entire state, due to his amazing strength and intelligence.
During the NPC-๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ War
Pesto would take control over the Southern half of New Oregon in the first three days. He used the Quadrobeam to destroy the Bernstein air fleet. After this, he took the Bernstein family (excluding Crash and Bernstein) and the Cool Ice Cube hostage in order to have Bernstein trade over the Radivator. His plan failed, so he executed the Cool Ice Cube by burying it alive.
During the raid, Pesto managed to take back the Arcade, after killing off Daniel Petersworth and Karl Billyton.
During the climax, Pesto unleashed the Arcade Bot, a mech formed from the arcade. He battled Mega Crash with it, and was defeated.
After the NPC-๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ War
Pesto survived the destruction of Earth. He befriended the Bernsteins once again, and now lives in the ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Galaxy happily with his family. Also, he's a male. He's not female, and his name is Pesto.
Poggers
I dunno what I was thinking
Leaving my child behind Now I suffer the curse And now I am blind
With all this anger, guilt and sadness Coming to haunt me forever I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river
Is this revenge I am seeking Or seeking someone to avange me Stuck in my own paradox I wanna set myself free
Maybe I should chase and find Before they'll try to stop it It won't be long before I'll become a puppet
It's been so long Since I last have seen my son Lost to this monster To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone I've been singing this stupid song So I could ponder The sanity of your mother
I wish I lived in the present With the gift of my past mistakes But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes
Your sweet little eyes Your little smile, is all I remember Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper
Justification is killing me But killing isn't justified What happened to my son, I'm terrified
It lingers in my mind And the thought keeps on getting bigger I'm sorry my sweet baby I wish I've been there
It's been so long Since I last have seen my son Lost to this monster To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone I've been singing this stupid song So I could ponder The sanity of your mother
We're waiting every night to finally roam and invite Newcomers to play with us For many years we've been all alone We're forced to be still And play the same songs we've known since that day An imposter took our life away Now we're stuck here to decay
Please let us get in Don't lock us away We're not like what you're thinking We are poor little souls Who have lost all control And we're forced here to take that role
We've been all alone Stuck in our little zone since 1987 Join us, be our friend Or just be stuck and defend After all you only got Five Nights at Freddy's
Is this where you wanna be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five Nights at Freddy's Is this where you wanna be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five Nights at Freddy's
We're really quite surprised That we get to see you another night You should have looked for another job You should have said to this place good-bye It's like there's so much more Maybe you've been in this place before We remember a face like yours You seem acquainted with those doors
Please let us get in Don't lock us away We're not like what you're thinking We are poor little souls Who have lost all control And we're forced here to take that role
We've been all alone Stuck in our little zone since 1987 Join us, be our friend Or just be stuck and defend After all you only got Five Nights at Freddy's
Is this where you wanna be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five Nights at Freddy's Is this where you wanna be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five Nights at Freddy's
I really hate you Stop getting in my way I've lost my patience When are you gonna decay?
I want to throw you out Just like my broken TV If you'll come back once more It shall be painful you'll see!
I hope you die in a fire!
Hope you'll be stabbed in the heart, hope you'll get shot and expire! Hope you'll be taken apart Hope this is what you desire!
It's almost over Why can't you just let it fly? Don't be afraid It's not the first time you'll die
Your mechanical parts click Sounds like when I broke your bones Once I get my second chance I won't leave you alone!
Oh yeah!
I hope you die in a fire!
Hope you'll be stabbed in the heart, hope you'll get shot and expire! Hope you'll be taken apart I hope you die in a fire!
Hope you'll be stabbed in the heart, hope you'll get shot and expire! Hope you'll be taken apart Hope this is what you desire!
I hope you die in a fire!,
I got no time I got no time to live I got no time to live and I can't say goodbye And I'm regretting having memories Of my friends, who they used to be Beside me before they left me to die And I know this is I know this is the truth 'Cause I've been staring at my death so many times These scary monsters roaming in the halls I wish I could just lock the doors And stay in bed until the clock will chime
[Chorus] So my flashlight's on and stay up 'til dawn I got this headache and my life's on the line I felt like I won but I wasn't done The nightmare repeats itself every time! Got to keep my calm and carry on Stay awake until the sun will shine But I'm not so strong and they're not gone They're still out there to take what's left of mine
[Verse 2] I have this urge I have this urge to kill I have this urge to kill and show that I'm alive I'm getting sick from these apologies From people with priorities That their life matters so much more than mine But I'm stuttering I'm stuttering again No one will listen and no one will understand Because I'm crying as much as I speak 'Cause no one likes me when I shriek Want to go back to when it all began
[Chorus] So my flashlight's on and stay up 'til dawn I got this headache and my life's on the line I felt like I won but I wasn't done The nightmare repeats itself every time! Got to keep my calm and carry on Stay awake until the sun will shine But I'm not so strong and they're not gone
They're still out there to take what's left of mine
Gallery
Pesto's design from Heroes of XD
Pesto going on a typical hike within the ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Galaxy.
Trivia
Story
- Pesto has a crush on Paul Blart.
- He works at an Arcade because his parents own the Arcade
- As a result of this, his allowance is paid mostly in token form.
- He, Crash, and Wyatt once received their photo on the wall of Iconic Arcade for getting the high score on Motorcycle Mayhem (although he wasn't present in the photo)
- He is a member of Wyatt and Crash's fraternity.
- He is characterized as The Possum in Wyatt's comic book.
- The Possum resembles Rigby from regular show
- He could possibly have an overprotective mom as in the anime episode Parade Crasher, he says that his mom made him wear a life jacket.
- Pesto has a crush on Amanda but doesn't know that Cleo has a crush on him.
Media
- Pesto is played by Adam Sandler.
- A cartoon design of Pesto was used in the shitty Disney XD games like Heroes of XD.