Santa claus: Difference between revisions
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<blockquote> | <blockquote>HO! HO! HOly Shit!</blockquote> | ||
[[File:Hoh.jpg|thumb | [[File:Hoh.jpg|thumb]] | ||
Santa | Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas and friend of [[Jesus Christ]] who is speculated to live in Greenland, Lapland or Northern Siberia. He has squad of deer and elves who he enslaves like serfs to bring all the treats and gifts to help pass the long winters across the world. | ||
He | He is very, very fat and used to wear a green outfit before the near end of the world war I. However he grew too fat for it and now has to stick with a red one ever since, thanks to Coca-Cola. | ||
He | He tricked a pawn of the devil himself once called [[Black Frost]] into being stuck in ice. | ||
Santa | Santa Claus is considered a being of divine judgement and getting presents like PS3s to Chad Warden and gives coaljaks to bitches in the [[Sharty tripod|sharty]]. | ||
There's also this demon called Krampus who basically does the same shit but vice versa. He gifts the good kids crappy trinkets like an out of tune xylophone made of milk teeth, and murders, abducts and tourtures bratty kids instead. | |||
[[Category:Christians]] | |||
[[Category:Christmas]] | |||
[[Category:Old people]] | |||
[[Category:Fat]] | |||
[[Category:Fatty Fatso]] | |||
[[Category:Fathers]] | |||
[[Category:Slave Owners]] | |||
[[Category:People who still play with toys]] | |||
[[Category:Jolly]] | |||
[[Category:Merry Men]] | |||
Revision as of 12:36, 5 June 2024
HO! HO! HOly Shit!
Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas and friend of Jesus Christ who is speculated to live in Greenland, Lapland or Northern Siberia. He has squad of deer and elves who he enslaves like serfs to bring all the treats and gifts to help pass the long winters across the world.
He is very, very fat and used to wear a green outfit before the near end of the world war I. However he grew too fat for it and now has to stick with a red one ever since, thanks to Coca-Cola.
He tricked a pawn of the devil himself once called Black Frost into being stuck in ice.
Santa Claus is considered a being of divine judgement and getting presents like PS3s to Chad Warden and gives coaljaks to bitches in the sharty.
There's also this demon called Krampus who basically does the same shit but vice versa. He gifts the good kids crappy trinkets like an out of tune xylophone made of milk teeth, and murders, abducts and tourtures bratty kids instead.