Jonathan Spectacles

WARNING: This article uses British English. BO'OH'O'WA'ER

(WIP probably forever since im an incompetent FUCK)

Jonathan Spectacles is a right plonker, innit? He's this spotty git who's always rocking naff ginnel-sized glasses and runs a shop floggin' peepers.

On the surface, he's just a mellow geezer who's got a crackpot passion for glasses, but, mate, behind closed doors, he's a depressive Pickwick-smoker who's addicted to the drink and gets himself into the most daft, Spiral Scrapes, Happy Families- style, mental states, yeah? Gob-smackingly dodgy, really. I mean, the bloke once tried to stop his shop, which is like a giant wind up, innit, rollin' off down the high street 'cause some pillock left a nail in the basement, like, and eh, would've killed the lot of 'em, flattened the whole dreamscape, got the council in a pickle, 'n' all. Major, like, emphasis on "tried" yeah?

Proud owner of the Gromit Mug™