SCP-682

SCP-682 shortly before being recovered by e-11 forces on ███████

Special containment procedures:

SCP-682 must be destroyed as soon as possible. At this time, no means available to SCP teams are capable of destroying SCP-682(We just can't, ok?) only able to cause massive physical damage. SCP-682 should be contained within a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m chamber with 25 cm reinforced acid-resistant steel plate lining all inside surfaces. The containment chamber should be filled with beer until SCP-682 is submerged and drunk out of his mind. Any attempts of SCP-682 to move, speak, or breach containment should be reacted to quickly and with full force as called for by the circumstances.

Description:

SCP-682 is an obese, vaguely reptile-like creature of unknown origin. It appears to be extremely unintelligent, and was observed to drunkenly babble nonsense to SCP-079 during their limited time of exposure. SCP-682 appears to have a hatred of everyone and everything, which it has frequently attempted to express by stuttering and mumbling incoherent phrases in several interviews during containment. (See Addendum 682-B).

SCP-682 has always been observed to have extremely low strength, speed, and reflexes. The exact levels vary with it form of slobbery. SCP-682's body fat grows and changes very quickly, increasing in mass as it consumes more beer. SCP-682 gains energy from alcohol, soda, wine and beer. Digestion seems to be aided by a set of filtering gills inside of SCP-682's nostrils, which are able to remove usable matter from any sparkling drink, enabling it to constantly regenerate from the beer it is contained in. SCP-682's regenerative capabilities and resilience are staggering, and SCP-682 has been seen moving and speaking with its body 87% destroyed or rotted.

A photo of SCP-682 taken in 2022