Santa claus: Difference between revisions
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<blockquote> | <blockquote>HO! HO! HOly Shit!</blockquote> | ||
[[File:Hoh.jpg|thumb | [[File:Hoh.jpg|thumb]] | ||
Santa | Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas and friend of [[Jesus Christ]] who is speculated to live in Greenland, Lapland or Northern Siberia. He has squad of deer and elves who he enslaves like serfs to bring all the treats and gifts to help pass the long winters across the world, and defeat villains such as [[Krampus]] and [[The Grinch|The grinch]] | ||
He | He is very, very fat and used to wear a green outfit before the near end of the world war I. However he grew too fat for it and now has to stick with a red one ever since, thanks to Coca-Cola. | ||
He tricked a pawn of the devil himself called [[Pitch]] and defeated him by shooting him in the ass with a dart | |||
Santa Claus is considered a being of divine judgement; Giving presents like PS3s to Chad Warden and gives [[coal]] to bitches in the [[Sharty tripod|sharty]]. | |||
There's also this demon called Krampus who basically does the same shit but vice versa. He gifts the good kids crappy trinkets like an out of tune xylophone made of milk teeth, and murders, abducts and tourtures bratty kids instead. | |||
[[File:S.mp4|thumb|center|Santa dying on the inside.]] | |||
[[Category:Christians]] | |||
[[Category:Christmas]] | |||
[[Category:Old people]] | |||
[[Category:Fat]] | |||
[[Category:Fatty Fatso]] | |||
[[Category:Fathers]] | |||
[[Category:Slave Owners]] | |||
[[Category:People who still play with toys]] | |||
[[Category:Jolly]] | |||
[[Category:Merry Men]] | |||
Latest revision as of 15:36, 11 January 2026
HO! HO! HOly Shit!
Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas and friend of Jesus Christ who is speculated to live in Greenland, Lapland or Northern Siberia. He has squad of deer and elves who he enslaves like serfs to bring all the treats and gifts to help pass the long winters across the world, and defeat villains such as Krampus and The grinch
He is very, very fat and used to wear a green outfit before the near end of the world war I. However he grew too fat for it and now has to stick with a red one ever since, thanks to Coca-Cola.
He tricked a pawn of the devil himself called Pitch and defeated him by shooting him in the ass with a dart
Santa Claus is considered a being of divine judgement; Giving presents like PS3s to Chad Warden and gives coal to bitches in the sharty.
There's also this demon called Krampus who basically does the same shit but vice versa. He gifts the good kids crappy trinkets like an out of tune xylophone made of milk teeth, and murders, abducts and tourtures bratty kids instead.