The Oinker Sexdoll
Description:
The Oinker Sexdoll was an unholy biomechanical abomination born from advanced humans splicing organic DNA of The Faggot with advanced electrical components of a cyberpunk sexdoll. This creation went on to nearly start World War 6 and bring about the end of Master Ashton.
In our Lords year of 2848, A temporal time vortex opened above the sleepy planet of Kepler 26b. From this portal emerged a flaming figure carrying traces of the time period 2023. Hitting the ground in a rural farm area, a pile of roasted pork buried itself in a crater. The government of Kepler 26b sealed the area off and made attempts to study the remains. All that could be covered was what appeared to be a cerebral cortex. Thinking it would yield scientific results and be a good laugh, The Lead Scientist Amelia added the cortex into the biomechanical body of her husband's boyfriend's sexdolls were hence referred to as "The Zodiac Homunculi". Ameila was an astrology girl and as the first of its kind, this homunculous was known as "Virgo" but others called him "The Oinker Sexdoll" from the pig noises it makes.
She later created the eleven more commanders, each with a cerebral cortex taken from one of the twelve lolcows that made an impact on society for the worse, hoping that the interplay of the attributes would attain a toxic balance and unity unprecedented in warfare. Each expressed its traits differently: for instance, Cancer was emotional and reserved opting to use biohazards against the opposing army with cancer and STDS, whereas The Gemini was bipolar as though two souls controlled one body, but nevertheless clever and an unpredictable strategist.
Since Virgo the sex doll was the oldest one, it was also the faultiest one, later becoming crippled and retarded. Only 3 wars in against the 40,000 Space Marines, he was forgetting his station and was later taken away from the army in 3008 to be given as a gift to The Head of Iceland (The store chain, not the country) to assault its competition: The McDonalds & Phizer Confederacy, and The Neo Pagan Chudcore Disney Corperation.
His first battle was leading The Virgin Battalion Division during the Finno-Korean Hyperwar on the side of Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate against The Hwan Empire's similarly designed 12 homunculous commanders, only these were based on Chinese Astrology instead.