Diavolo
| Diavolo | |
|---|---|
| |
| Real Full Name: |
Diavolo |
| Alias(es): |
The Boss, Vinegar Doppio |
| Chronological Age: |
33 |
| Classification(s): |
Human |
| Residencies: |
Italy |
| Occupation(s): |
Mob Boss |
| Attribute(s): |
D++ |
| Other Relative(s): |
Trish Una, Doppio |
Diavolo was the boss of a big ol gang
Childhood[edit | edit source]
Diavolo was a fuckin dick, at some point he like killed his mom and burned down his entire fucking town or something what a bastard.
Later on in his life, Diavolo got put in a special needs school which is basically a nice way of saying school for lil shits.
Diavolo got bullied a lot due to his pink hair, and the fact that he looks like a gay version of Amy Rose. Everyone called him lil dick cheese due to this fact.
Eventually, Diavolo got sick of them teasing his awesome hair do and once again burned down the school, while locking everyone in the building because all who dis Diavolo's hair will pay the ultimate price.
In the documentary based on Diavolo's life, it was mistakenly thought that Josuke Higashikata was the one who got all pissed when you make fun of his hair when in reality, it was Diavolo.
Adolescence[edit | edit source]
When Diavolo turned 15, he finally decided to pull his head out of his ass and do something cool with his life. He decided to get a job at McDonalds so that he could make some money in order to buy some bad ass shit to do stuff with.
This dream would later come to fruition when Diavolo was in the kitchen flipping burgers, Ronald McDonald teleported behind him and raped him but Diavolo had a different reaction then expected.
Due to having consumed a massive truck load of Jolly Ranchers earlier that day, the chemicals mixed together with Ronald McDonald's semen and gave Diavolo an STSP (Sexually Transmitted Super Power).
The power materialized in the form of the stand King Crimson which gave Diavolo the ability to skip through time. This way, he could say the n word in crowds of people and no one would know it.
The first thing that Diavolo did with his new ability is punch through Ronald McDonald's chest and turn him into a glory hole that would later be used in a public restroom. Diavolo then burned down the McDonald's too because why the fuck wouldn't he, it seems like that's all he knows.
Adulthood[edit | edit source]
Diavolo decided that it would be cool to start a gang because he had just watched the movie Kung Fu Hustle and thought that it would be cool to have guys to kill with and also participate in perfectly choreographed dance numbers with.
After almost 10 years, he'd nearly perfected his organization and was so excited to sing and dance. The world would soon be his Broadway stage when something showed up to ruin everything.
Diavolo was horrified to find out that during one of his cocaine binges, he ended up creating a daughter named Trish. This threw everything out of wack because women should only be in the kitchen, but Diavolo was too poor to afford a kitchen, so he just decided to kill her instead.
Diavolo had instructed his guy Bucciaratti to bring Trish over to him so that he could fist her anally and work on his ventriloquist act but Bucciaratti decided to not do that so Diavolo decided that he would fist Bucciaratti instead, but before he could do anything to him, a dog jumped up and bit Diavolo on the crotch. In his last dying moments, Diavolo realized that his life wasn't a crime action anime like he'd originally thought, it was actually a talking dog movie for kids that gets played in Elementary school classrooms when the teacher wants to reward the kids for being so well behaved or just to be nice.
Diavolo then died and his whole gang decided to turn his crime organization into a bakery organization to give sweets to kid and adults alike. Its a good thing Diavolo was already dead because if he'd seen what his organization had become, he'd have killed himself again.
