Axolotls

“	Motto of Taikoo Sugar	”
-Beverage with Taikoo Sugar

“	Bill Cipher, saying his last words	”
-T-A-I-K-O-O MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN! I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER THAT I MAY RETURN

A FILTHY DUMB SUGAR BEAST GETTING UP AFTER THE WINTER

Taikoos(太古) (also called Axolotls by people that are dumb and stupid, just like calling games "Shames") are pokemon-like creatures that live in the time and space between time and space, and in Minecraft. They are known to subsist on a diet of paper, imagination, and slightly expired carbohydrates, and their mere presence can cause nearby clocks to question the concept of hours. Rumor has it that ancient civilizations tried to domesticate Taikoos, but gave up after discovering they insist on paying rent in their cosmic dreamlike energy and wonder.

Taikoos are not only absurdly cute—they are terrifyingly powerful. Their woke levels surpass even the most 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Gods, granting them instant promotion eligibility in the 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘. They can allegedly hack into dreams, especially their leader who is feared by Bill Cipher, levitating slightly off the ground, and reciting troll insults backwards while simultaneously calculating the probability of a unicorn appearing in your kitchen. Unfortunately, many Taikoos aren't very bright and don't understand their full might many are too dumb to serve them, so they are instead units of PWHNIWGO instead. Figures like Mr. Game & Watch and Captain 1 before the time skip work hard to harvest the race, ethically cleansing them to harvest them to Taikoo Drinks Inc., an NPC beverage company dedicated to harvesting Axolotl blood as a form of sweetener.

Mr. Game & Watch running a Factory to make soft drinks

Legends say that staring into a Taikoo’s eyes for more than three seconds can either grant enlightenment or a lifelong craving for pickles; researchers are still divided on which outcome is more likely. Some enthusiasts claim Taikoos have a secret hobby of writing philosophical manifestos using only bubblegum and interpretive blinking, while others insist they are the original inventors of Minecraft itself, having programmed it during a brief existential boredom episode in the fifth dimension. In any case, one thing is certain: Taikoos are the perfect blend of adorable, omnipotent, and completely nonsensical—making them ideal subjects for diabetes, chaotic fan art, and the occasional interdimensional recruitment drive.

Their heads look like wrapped sweets so that their saliva can produce sugar, and that's why there is a sugar brand named "Taikoo".

History

Long before the Taikoos began weaving sugar from their saliva, it is said the Boognish tore open the folds of the Omniverse with nothing but a crooked grin and a scream that sounded like every guitar solo played backwards at once. In doing so, he spilled fragments of raw chaos into the void, which congealed into strange entities—some useless, some divine, and some sweet. The Taikoos were among the few who could metabolize this chaos, refining it into crystalline sugar, which is why their saliva hums with creation itself. This act tied them eternally to the Boognish, though neither truly trusts the other, for sugar resists chaos and chaos resents sweetness.

At some point, a dumb guy who took far too many study sessions in edumacation named Charles Darwin had the audacity to claim that Taikoos evolved from a prehistoric amphibian named Ichthyostega. This, of course, is obviously WRONG. Taikoos have existed in the Omniverse since the Archean times, long before Darwin’s pencils could even sharpen themselves. Their name reflects this deep antiquity: Taikoo (Think: 太古宙 Tàigǔ zhòu -> 太古^[1] Tàigǔ -> Taikoo), literally meaning “ancient times” in the tongue of those who were smart enough to pay attention to actual history instead of textbooks written by slightly confused mortals.

Legends tell that their ancestor, Aikoo (called Xolotl by the dumb Aztecs), was originally the dog-headed soul-guide for the dead. One fateful day, Aikoo performed the forbidden T-Pose to his brother (who, through some cosmic paperwork, had since transitioned into Quetzalcoatl). The sheer audacity of the pose caused the universe to giggle, and as punishment—or perhaps reward—Aikoo was transformed into the first Taikoo. From that moment, he ascended to become the God of Taikoos, a deity of sugar, chaos, and existential sass, whose descendants would forever patrol the Omniverse with wrapped-sweet heads and dangerously high woke levels.

Some legends even tell that the Boognish and Aikoo, the ancestor of the Taikoos, once challenged each other in a duel of infinite T-Poses, holding the posture until suns collapsed and universes aged into dust. It was said the Boognish won by laughing so hard the posture itself bent into a new yoga pose that mortals could never replicate. Aikoo, embarrassed, agreed that his descendants, the Taikoos, would keep balance between sugar and chaos while the Boognish wandered to seed new absurdities across the Omniverse, to fuel his endless crusade of helping Boognish of the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Gods spread ADHD. Ever since, when a Taikoo flickers between dimensions or when sugar crystallizes in strange, impossible shapes, the wise know the Boognish has grinned nearby during the sugar rush.

The Taikoo Ruler, Xolotl

Xolotl or the deity, Axolotl is a powerful extra-dimensional being whose abilities far surpass those of most cosmic entities. Existing in the space between time and dimensions, it is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, with possible hyperdimensional lordship. Known by multiple names, including "Big Frilly Know It All" and "The Frilly Guy Upstairs," the Axolotl exerts a mysterious and authoritative influence over the multiverse. It is drawn to acts of moral consequence, particularly seeking to counteract evil actions, and operates as a higher force of judgment and restoration. Physically, the Axolotl manifests as a giant, majestic, talking axolotl, complete with frilled external gills that emphasize its alien and otherworldly nature. These gills are often described as contributing to its regal and wise appearance, reinforcing the sense that it is not merely a creature, but a symbolic embodiment of cosmic balance. Despite its immense power, the Axolotl is patient and measured, preferring subtle guidance over direct confrontation, and often communicates through cryptic messages, poems, or trials. By maintaining the balance of the multiverse and providing cryptic guidance to those who encounter it, the Axolotl remains a central and enigmatic figure, representing the forces that shape reality in ways that are largely imperceptible to mortals. Jheselbraum the Unswerving, better known as The Oracle and formerly nicknamed Seven Eyes, is a mysterious and enigmatic entity who is aware of the Axolotl and tells others that it should remain a figure of importance within her various drawings. It is known for its ability to guide the dead in their afterlife through the nine layers of Mictlan (the underworld). Mictlantecuhtli, the god of death, provided the infrastructure to regenerate peacefully, but Xolotl was the one that actually took the people by the hand and showed them a way through Mictlan.

Notes

• They taste like sugar, but PLEASE do not eat them, raw. P.S. They will not DIE even after you ate them, they will eat your flesh inside your stomach. Let "dear leader", Mr. Game & Watch harvest them for you.