Eric Cartman
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Eric Cartman is approved by Oswaldo T. Floridaman. |
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This article is rated Count von Count. |
"Butters if I were to knock you out and suck your dick for 5 hours straight I would be less gay than you are for playing this fucking game." - Eric Cartman
| Eric Cartman | ||
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Alias(es) |
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 | |
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Occupation(s) |
Businessman | |
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Friends |
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Affiliation(s) |
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Previous affiliation(s) |
South Park Residences | |
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Enemies |
Kyle Broflovski (Ex-Frienenemy) | |
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Sex |
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Nationality |
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Complexion |
โโ Pale Orange | |
Eric Theodore Cartman, usually referred to as simply Cartman, was one of the four primary characters in the SpongeBob SquarePants adult spin-off series, South Park, alongside Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick. After the events of the COVID-19 pandemic of the 2020s, Cartman would find out about his newfound godly powers to try to take down (((them))), who are the unknown entity infamously known for killing Kenny every episode, where he makes a cameo alongside other South Park characters leading to the time skip.
During some point in the future of the early 2020s, Cartman would be reintroduced as an inspiring businessman who converted into Judaism and later would get involved with the ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Society! and become their lawyer anytime they would get in serious legal trouble. He is 436 years old.
Personality[edit | edit source]
Cartman is described in various terms, in short, he is an evil, vicious, angry, self-absorbed, immature, destructive, sarcastic, snooty, loud-mouthed, lazy, and insane 436 year old man.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Cumming soon. (This is just what is already in South Park)
He was born on July 1, 1989 to Liane Cartman, then a notorious whore in South Park, Colorado. Cartman was conceived 7 months earlier when Liane accidentally got pregnant with him after fucking Jack Tennorman, a random ass D*nver Br*ncos player, as part of her job.
3 years later, in 1992, Cartman first met Stan, Kyle and Kenny. They all instantly became "friends" but the friendship would inevitably deteriorate over time.
In 1997, he and the boys all proved the existence of aliens after they probed his ass but the evidence was immediately covered up by the feds.
In 1998, Cartman unknowingly killed his biological father, crushed his remains in a grinder and fed him to his half-brother, Scott Tennorman as chili as revenge to a prank Scott did to him. After Scott went through his epic schizo villain phase and revealed that he killed their dad to him years later, Cartman was shocked and horrified to discover that he is, in fact, half-ginger. What an asshole!
