The Habibi Wars
The Habibi Wars[edit | edit source]
Background[edit | edit source]
The Habibi Empire (543-1089 A.D.) was led by our most benevolent Hamood Habibi I. He had founded the empire in 543 A.D, however Gollumist scholars refute this claim, saying that it was founded in the late 700s (they lie to us.) At the height of its power, it encompassed all of the modern day Arabian peninsula, the fertile crescent, Anatolia, Egypt, Libya-Tunis, Northeast Sudan, Eritrea, and Somaliland, as well as a vassal state in Persia led by 🎤🐢. The empire's capital was the city of Al-Habibieya, located off the Jordanian coast.
Gollum (A.K.A Smeagol) was a longtime player on the world stage. He gained popularity in New Zealand around 105 B.H (Before Hamood) and founded his empire around 200 A.D. He built up his navy, gained followers, and colonized the globe. By the time of the First Habibi War, he had a massive global empire, spanning north america, western europe, southern africa, and all of oceania.
First Habibi War (Habibi War I)[edit | edit source]
Habibi War I started when Gollum and his army invaded Hamoodish Somaliland. The massive Gollumite navy had gained immense strength from studying the TikTok Rizz Party, as Hamood controlled modern day Turkiye and Gollum needed to understand the ways of Turkish Quandale Dingle in order to triumph.[1]
Invasion of Somaliland & Turkish Quandale Dingle[edit | edit source]
The 1st, 2nd, and 4th Gollumite Marine Divisons, collectively known as the "Juicy Sweet Korp", landed in northern Somaliland on May 3rd, 634 A.D. They managed to conquer the native villages in the region, as they were armed with nothing but sticks and stones and could not defend themselves properly, however they did manage to break many soldiers bones while noticing that words had no effect on them. After conquering nearly all of the region, Gollum moved up into Eritrea and Sudan, with the end goal of relinquishing Hamoodi territories in Africa to free Gollumite colonial expansion.
Hamood had gathered his forces and proceeded to move with caution, as Gollumite fighters had hired juicy sweet fish in the nice cool pools to kill Hamood. Hamood made it to the southern nile, but it was too late. Gollum had him encircled. but hamood had a brilliant idea. he gave his men a pep talk that went something like this:
"wsg guys, so basically gollum has killed a lotta our homies over in somaliland and eritrea bro. hes got us encircled. now hes gonna kill us. so lets not let him. instead, lets go across the red sea and alert turkish quandale dingle in medina to go fight gollum, whos secretly working with white shirt kid. turkish quandale dingle, being the turkish man he is, will not let some peasant in a white shirt over throw blue tie kid, his lord. so our homie tqd is going ta help us kill gol."[2]
Hamood then continued to part the red sea. They made it across to Medina, alerted TQD about the Gollum-WhiteShirt Alliance, and TQD was alarmed from the alarming alert. He hired a batch of Turko-Italian soldiers, dubbed the "Quandalian Turks" and marched with Hamood to Cairo, where Gollum was rapidly approaching.
Tune in next week to find out who will win this epic battle of rizz