Daffy Duck's Review of the Most Bullshit Restaurant Ever
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fuck you dickord
Lyrics
- Listen here, you culinary catastrophes!
- I, the one and only Daffy Q. Duck,
- ventured into your so-called "restaurant" expecting food,
- not a gastronomic war crime.
- You call that slop a burger?!
- It looked like it had been flattened by an Acme anvil,
- then sat on by a rhinoceros with digestive issues!
- I waddled up to the counter,
- craving a delicious duck-sized meal,
- and what do I get?
- A soggy, grease-slicked abomination that had the texture of wet cardboard and the flavor of regret.
- My fries? Cold.
- Colder than Yosemite Sam's heart during tax season.
- And don't get me started on the soda,
- it was flatter than Elmer Fudd's singing voice.
- I've had more carbonation in a puddle.
- Service? HA! The pimply-faced teen behind the counter had the charisma of a sandbag and the speed of a tranquilized sloth.
- I asked for extra pickles, you gave me no pickles.
- That's not just an error, it's an affront to duck-kind.
- I oughta sue you for emotional damage!
- Cleanliness? I've seen cleaner restrooms in swamp shacks.
- The floor was stickier than a glue trap at a taffy factory.
- I took one step and nearly lost a webbed foot.
- I demand justice! I demand flavor!
- I demand fries that don't look like they were chewed up and spit out by a goat with a grudge!
- Consider this a formal declaration of vendetta.
- I'll be telling all my pals: Freaky Bob, Ka-Chung, heck, even Donald Duck.
- We're boycotting this grease pit until you learn the difference between a restaurant and a culinary abomination!