The Heavy
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| The Heavy | ||
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Real Name |
Михаил | |
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Alias(es) |
Heavy | |
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Species |
Heavy | |
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Sex |
Heavy | |
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Date of Birth |
In Russia around WW1 or smth like that | |
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Nationality |
Russian | |
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Relative(s) |
Sasha | |
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Residence |
Somewhere in Nevada | |
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Affiliation(s) |
The Team | |
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Occupation(s) |
Mercenary | |
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Rank |
Heavy | |
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First Appearance |
Team Fortress 2 | |
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Role |
Heavy | |
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Actor |
Heavy | |
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Onlyfans |
Yes (he created an account to follow medic and later posted some dick and feet pics on it) | |
“ "Some people think they can outsmart me... (sniff) Maybe... Maybe... I have yet to find one who can outsmart buttfist." ” -Heavy in Meet the Heavy
Heavy is the second most homosexual merc on The Team, second to The Sniper cuz he was the one who turned him gay. He also killed 99% of the characters in the Fanboy and Chum Chum Universe after finding out someone ate his sandvich. Luckily, he got sniper to revive them as homosexuals after he remembered he ate it (He was given amnesia by his evil form).
He is a huge Bluey fan and therefore hates Peppa Pig so much to a point where he went to london and killed her and her entire family and made them to ham for his sandvich.
About[edit | edit source]
Heavy eats 247 sandviches a day. He doesn’t die though due to the power of pootis. Possesses extreme amounts of Homo-Energy. His favorite show is Bluey.
History[edit | edit source]
Vorkuta Incident[edit | edit source]
Heavy was born in Vorkuta, a gulag, during WW1. Since he was in the Soviet Union, he was immediately fed 17 entire bottles of vodka which caused him to unlock his inner ability known as 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓟𝓞𝓦𝓔𝓡 𝓞𝓕 𝓟𝓞𝓞𝓣𝓘𝓢 and beat the living sh*t out of all the guards at the facility. The Soviets sent more troops to the facility who were able to immobilize him for 5 minutes by giving him an endless bottle of vodka. After he finished drinking the infinite vodka, the Soviets killed his dad right in front of him. This sent him into a fit of absolute rage, killing every single person at the facility before vaporizing it off of the face of the planet in a massive explosion. He saved his mother and sisters by throwing them to the Dzhugdzhur Mountains before he exploded though. This event became a well hidden secret in the KGB.
Early Childhood[edit | edit source]
Since Heavy was now homeless and without a family, he grew up in the forests of the Soviet Union. He hunted many creatures such as Harry and Bug-a-Boo. Unfortunately, he was unable to kill the two as they had plot armor, but he could have if they didn't!!! It was during this time he witnessed a Bright Guy carry a New Zealander Australian child out of the forest. He thought it was pretty weird and shot the bright guy in the knees crippling him forever. Eventually when he turned 42 years old, he found his way out of the forest and into the Soviet streets. He got so angry that the people who murdered his father were still controlling the country that he shot a microscopic particle at the Chernobyl nuclear factory before fleeing after being spotted by the KGB. The chain reaction of the particle caused the Chernobyl disaster.
Meeting Medic[edit | edit source]
After escaping the Soviet Union to , Heavy moved to the U.S.A and met Medic, who gave him a bottle of vodka. Heavy was so distracted drinking the bottle he didn't even notice that Medic was about to give him a prostate exam. Heavy didn't realize until it was too late, Medic stuck his fist so far up Heavy's arse that it blew a hole through his chest. Medic ripped out a rib bone out through Heavy's anus and gave it to him. Heavy screamed so loud that it disrupted the space time continuum and caused the hole in his chest to heal. Medic thought that Heavy was pretty cool and invited him to the team. Later, Sniper joined the team and turned him gay through the sheer power of his HOMO-ENERGY.
Joining the Team[edit | edit source]
Upon joining the team, he was given his minigun, Sasha. He has always loved Sasha. He loved her so much that he did everything with her. He ate sandviches, slept, watched movies, and even had sex with Sasha. He then realized that she is holding him back and decided to break up with her. He still brings her around everywhere though. In the time he wasn’t dating Sasha, he was going to college and getting multiple PHDs in literature.
REVENGE!!![edit | edit source]
Heavy snuck up on medic while he was sleeping and stuck his hand up his arse for revenge on the prostate exams. Medic kinda enjoyed it tho since he's gay. Sniper walked in on them and took a picture and posted it but it got banned, so somebody drew a picture of it and reposted it, then another guy tried to make a re-repost and it also got banned.
ÜBER-HOMO[edit | edit source]
Heavy enjoyed putting his now POOtis fist up Medic's ass and wanted to create a porno with him. They sneaked up the intelligence room and later uploaded the video which got reposted all over YouTube.
They later wanted to post a second part and stole Sniper's van for it and drove away. But Sniper activated his super-sex stare and managed to explode a wheel just by refusing to believe it's continuing existence.
[Spy] didn't know anything of Heavy and Medic's fresh gay relationship as he thinks that Microsoft's Internet Explorer is superior. He tried to back stab Heavy as Medic but got buttfisted by him instead. He never disguised as Medic after that again.
Years after Heavy expanded Medic's butthole to its limits, they decided to start a family and the tables turned as it was Medic top time. Medic put a penguin womb inside Heavy and injected his Schniedel-gun up his entrance. Later Heavy laid an egg and they took lot care of it until at some point their German-Russian (interesting mix for two guys from the 1940s) baby hatched, which happened to be a goth girl that later married William Afton.
Engineer Gaming[edit | edit source]
Heavy fought God Form Engineer with Pootis Power in the unreleased comic #7 but got tired and decided to eat his daily 247 sandviches. Heavy was taking a long time tho so Engineer went back to destroying France. He ate them while watching Sniper and Duo fight Engi. Since he got really bored but still didn't want to fight, he kicked Soldier's balls for impregnating his sister.
Apparently somewhere around here he focused his Homo-Energy into his arse and created his very own god form? idk sounds pretty nice to me.
Beach Play (i moved this here cuz i reread The Medic and it turns out this happens after the battle against Engineer)[edit | edit source]
Also Heavy and Medic played on the beach and it was very gay.
Mannvich Ending[edit | edit source]
After many years Heavy became highly depressed by not receiving the Heavy update and therefore forcefully choked himself on a sandvich and committed suizide. This plan didn't work and he transformed into the Mannvich, a monster that now lurks in the forest he grew up in.
we haven't unlocked the other endings tho cuz it takes forever
Abilities[edit | edit source]
- He can eat a sandvich to multiply his powers strength by the trillions.
- He can also yell so loud it disrupts the space time continuum and heals him.
- He can tear things to shreds at the molecular level.
Notes[edit | edit source]
- People to this day still debate about who is the strongest, Sex God Sniper, God Form Engineer, or Pootis Power Heavy.
- His teddy like appearance was inspiration for Freddy Fazbear.
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