Sherk
| WANTED | ||
|---|---|---|
| image | ||
| Dead or Alive | ||
|
Real Name |
Shrenq | |
|
Alias(es) |
Big ugly cunt
| |
|
Species |
Ogrish | |
|
Sex |
green | |
|
Date of Birth |
Too damn long ago! | |
|
Nationality |
Manx | |
|
Relative(s) |
Upwards of 800 bastard children throughout New South Wales | |
|
Residence |
Wallan, Hell | |
|
Affiliation(s) |
Italian mafia
| |
|
Occupation(s) |
Bullying smaller people | |
|
Criminal Record |
His ugliness | |
|
Rank |
Old | |
|
First Appearance |
Glöm | |
|
Role |
fat old balding ugly bastard | |
|
Actor |
James Marriott | |
|
Onlyfans |
Nope, but he has a Patreon | |
|
Status |
Alive, but dying | |
Shek (not to be confused with Shrek) is a father of upwards of 800 children, all products of his semen being released into New Castle's water supply back in the 1590s. He currently resides in Hell, inside the ungodly town of Wallan. Every Tuesday he makes the transit from Hell to Greensborough, Victoria in order to work his 9-5 job at Macca's. He is a non-canon character, don't delete this pretty please.
Early Live
Shrk was born from an eggsac in the amazing, stupendous and definitely inhabitable, Altona, Victoria, Australia. Unfortunately, due to the immense pollution in Altona all of his hair and pubes fell out at a presumably young age. He left home to Australia sometime in his teens, as his father reportedly wanted to "eat him up".
In an encounter with Dutch colonists trying to hunt him to hang on their wall, Shege split his pants in anger, before promptly squirting the eyes of the colonists all over his chest and rubbing it across his body for good luck on his travels.
He would sto-away on a ship bound for England, where he would live the rest of his early life, before being drafted to the hundred year's war by general Mr. G. Willickers. Willickers saw great potential in Shwrk and so coined him "the Lightbringer" and spoke highly about him and his skills to his peers and enemies. He would be proven wrong, when Sjerk washed up on the shore of the Isle of Man, being consumed by carnivorous bugs and children. Willickers cut all connections with Sjwe after this event, due to his overwhelming disappointment for the horrible oger.
Go to Church
At age 45, he donated his alcoholically unstable liver to Big Nate, resulting in his untimely demise due to liver poisoning. He was elected Prussian of the year during the hundred year's war in Ancient Peking, now Beijing. His nose, ears and other identifiable features (one of which shall not be named) were obliterated by a Blue Waffle bomb during an altercation with the Japanese Imperial army.
After WW2 had started Shep made himself apparent to the Germans, in an effort to join the Nazis. They would notice him, integrating him in the Axis however, they would not allow him to participate in the Gestapo, as he was "Too fucking big to fit through the tiny German doors and shit".
After the Iranian revolution, Shekr made friends with the Ayatollah, who affectionately referred to his as a "Big ugly Cunt". This relationship led to him becoming a beloved figure in the exotic and unchartered nation of Iran. Unfortunately, all his teeth fell out.