Soyfon
The following is complete, 100%, without a doubt, according to the creator, sarcastically, A JOKE. Don't be triggered about this or I might go insane on you. READ AT YOUR RISK. |
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Now playing: "Soyfon's Awakening Theme"
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"Im literally THE STRONGEST, give me one week of training and i can SOLO both the laughably pathetic Freakybob and Enrique!. Those guys will suffer" - Soyfon thinking she is a main character
Nintendo Switch 2 is the BEST CONSOLE OF ALL TIME, my goddess's boyfriend gave me one when i got a vasectomy and OHHHHH now i can play Mario Kart World ON THE BIG SCREEN!!!"
"Soy Milk is my LARP POWER, it helps me get speedy and i can do all types of ninja moves so i can be the best assassination archetype with the help of my Bankai."
| Soyfon | |
|---|---|
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| Alias(es): |
Shāolíng Fēng |
| Gender: |
Female ♀ |
| Sexual Orientation(s): |
Lesbian |
| Affiliation(s): |
LARP Society |
Soyfon, also known as Soifon, is the soyest of the soyest and is apart of the LARP Society and by extension: The NPC Alliance and the The Larping Empire as she all serves them. She is known for being the mastermind behind Israeli assassination plots and the captain of the Second Division in the Gotei 13. Her lieutenant is Marechiyo Ōmaeda aka someone she frequently beats up all the fucking time until he had enough and defected to the Gangster side as they can use him for information against the LARPers and then use him for janitor duty. She didn't really care about his defection but had no idea how to replace him so the spot is empty probably forever since she's too busy jacking off. Her best friend is Futaba as all they do all day to be cornballs online but hey atleast there having fun, Soyfon wanted Futaba to be her lieutenant so they can do shit together all day everyday but got rejected so she whine about it for hours, she then realized she can just go to Futaba all she wants since she does absolutely nothing. You can see her sometimes at Starbucks drinking and watching Vocaloid tiktoks on her phone laughing out loud all the time
She is from the anime: Naruto
She is totally obsessed with Yoruichi Shihōin, a powerful big booty stacy of the 22nd Head of Shihōin Clan which Soyfon dedicated her whole life to serve her "godess". But in all honestly, Yoruichi is in control of the Second Division since Soyfon is basically her puppet that lets Yoruichi do whatever she wants. She spent years trying to "protect" her as she loved Yoruichi so much so she constantly daydreamed of dating her until Yoruichi disappeared with Urahara to go to Tel Aviv where Urahara was exiled by Aizen and Yoruichi went with him which made Soyfon so mad but then Aizen anal fucked her since she knew about the disappearance of Urahara and told her never to tell anyone or she's gonna get anal fucked again. Soyfon never spoke until Aizen's cover was blown out. After fighting Yoruichi when she came back to the LARP Society to help out the LARPing Thieves, she instantly became her biggest dick rider and glazed her all the time.
She is constantly fucked by Yoruichi
This is where she would become a honorary LARPing Thieves member as she basically helps out Mamiya Takuji, Tomoko Kuroki, Agnes Tachyon, BBNO$, and Morgana in every way so she can get free stuff all the time from them. Mostly from Discord Nitro, Plus Subscriptions, Games, Coffee, Body Pillows, Yuri Manga, and much more as they never refuse her. She's also a cutie not gonna lie, often being sexy as fuck and she can totally get a chance with someone but all she focuses on is how she can get Yoruichi. She realized this and tried asking out random females on the streets but that failed, she then tried to date Gold Ship only to be used for sucking her armpits, a win win deal for her i guess.
In Battle combat, she's kinda strong with her fast speed, agility, and two hit one kill tactic but she focuses on ones she deems "worthy" and gets her ass kicked many times by Freakers, if she actually faced Enrique or Freakybob well she's probably dead at this point. Her whole Yuri Addiction is alright but she's always heated in arguments against Mechasakurako and Agnes Digital on which Yuri Ship is the best and the three fight eachother to death. Soyfon always declares victory over those two but never proves any point to them.
VS Aizen
She faced Aizen to try to defeat him once and for all, Aizen laughed and began anal fucking her with his hand after knocking her out. He spared her because he wants to do it to her again sometime. This was her response after the battle.
Dick Size
I mean she has very small boobs to the point that she can be mistaken for a femboy body ype which angers her but then again she has a small dick so she's cursed forever. RIP SOYFON but you do have a bigger dih than Jax, Haida, Stuart BITCHle, Chibi Reviews, and Subaru so thats fair. #fairs.
Comments
I have a love and hate relationship with this character, its confusing to say the least lmao
-- Barf Bag (talk) 06:32, 7 July 2026 (EDT)