The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)
Date:	Prehistory - 14 Billion BC
Location:	Who the fuck knows
Result:	The Big Bang
Belligerents
The Confederation of Funk Giants r/Gassers The Lingering Stench Amongus My Angry Ethiopian Friend	The Neko Arc Empire Horny Degenerate Weeaboos for Catgirls Pussy Hoggers The gnarp gnarp Sussy Bakas
Commanders and leaders
The Incredible Gassy Mondu the Fat The Avogodo Sgt. Braphog Sgt. Sheldon Gorlock The Destroyer	The Most Racist Neko Arc in the Universe Sir Meowsalot Lord Stamtish Erai Highgourd Kattobyte
Strength
1 nikocado ~10 trillion little alien morsel slaves ~500 Units with the brap power, so powerful, it creates black holes ~24 billion space-crafts ~500 billion Gas Giants Super AIDS carried by ~12,500 stingray like creatures Ultra advance chemicals and diseases of warfare ~1 billion Indian tech supporters ~50 billion silo warheads ~5,000 weapons grade ~75 imposters	Cringe ~5 billion femboys ~5.7 trillion neko arc ~1 billion super solider kitty drones ~50,000 weapons grade autists ~1 trillion space-crafts ~2 trillion horny degenerates A guide book to intergalactic species genocide Uncountable amount of shit memes Reality bender
Casualties and losses
EVERYTHING DIED! THE END.

Sgt. Sheldon Cooper coordinating a guerrilla bombing against the Neco Arc's Nya-Nya power storage facility.

The Big Bang Theory is a name given to one of possibly the earliest known series of wars in existence. Many scientists claim that it was so massive that it the cause the death of a universe prior to ours and gave birth to the current universe.

The only surviving recording of this massive war, comes from a slot machine, created by Stephan Hawkins, which inspired a separate TV show of the same name, but the only thing it shares, are the figureheads and Sergeant Sheldon's war cry: BAZINGA!!!

The war itself lasted for a long ass time, as information of the past universe is scarce besides the Old Gods and was started when the Neko Arc declared war on the Funk Giants by infesting and populating in their holy gas chambers, spreading cringe. Those bastards were typically blown away to something else that was eldtrich, suffocate to their gaseous forms or get "forked" on. Their home nebula had further retaliation, commencing the Battle of Sus. Named after fighting on planet owned the impostors among us who fought for both sides.

Long story short; only 7,000 or so entities survived that war, including Sgt. Sheldon and the immortal ones live out their days bullying H.B. Lovecraft and other weirdos who love cats as much as they love using the N-word.