Kristijan Valjavec: Difference between revisions
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'''Kristijan Valjavec''' (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as ''Kiki'' is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian. | '''Kristijan Valjavec''' (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as ''Kiki'' is a croation ""guy"" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian. | ||
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update. [[File:On8vfloe71v71.webp|left|thumb|158x158px|Kristijan being not a genetic failure]]He has a passionate hate for GayNein like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me. | He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update. [[File:On8vfloe71v71.webp|left|thumb|158x158px|Kristijan being not a genetic failure]]He has a passionate hate for GayNein (another coworker) like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and also Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, I like to assault his hair with no consent, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me. | ||
He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice. | |||
He still owes me 16,94 €. | He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy, but he can proof otherwise by letting his pants down perhabsh. | ||
<s>He still owes me 16,94 €.</s> Nevermind guys he payed it back. | |||
== History == | == History == | ||
[[File:Kristijan wifu.png|left|thumb| | [[File:Kristijan wifu.png|left|thumb|144x144px|Kristijan being a kawaii maid]] | ||
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai. | While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai. | ||
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BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | ||
[[File:Princess-kiki.jpg|left|thumb|190x190px|Princess Kiki and the Monster Energy Kingdom]] | |||
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality. | |||
Years later he and Luigi married and Kiki became princess of the Monster Energy Kingdom. | |||
Guy, he send me a reel about how breedable I am, what shoudl I do? | |||
== Appearances in Video Games == | == Appearances in Video Games == | ||
| Line 70: | Line 76: | ||
* Shoesize 500 | * Shoesize 500 | ||
* Blind | * Blind | ||
* [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb]]Had an emo phase | * [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb|168x168px]]Had an emo phase | ||
* Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | * Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | ||
[[Category:Croatia]] | [[Category:Croatia]] | ||
Revision as of 09:39, 19 September 2024
Not to be confused with Christian Köhler that smurf looking mf
| Kiki | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
| slurp slurp | ||
|
Real Name |
Kristijan | |
|
Alias(es) |
Kiki | |
|
Species |
Weeb | |
|
Sex |
Femboi | |
|
Date of Birth |
idk | |
|
Nationality |
Croatian | |
|
Relative(s) |
• Crazy Swazy | |
|
Occupation(s) |
Kitchun | |
|
Criminal Record |
Leaving Monster energy cans everywhere | |
|
Rank |
Lesbian Femboi | |
|
First Appearance |
At my workplace | |
|
Onlyfans |
Yes (naughty) | |
|
Status |
Still watching anime | |
Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation ""guy"" that looks incredible hard (and) like a lesbian.
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update.
He has a passionate hate for GayNein (another coworker) like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and also Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, I like to assault his hair with no consent, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me.
He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice.
He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy, but he can proof otherwise by letting his pants down perhabsh.
He still owes me 16,94 €. Nevermind guys he payed it back.
History
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai.
He wanted to kill himself and jumped of a cliff but Luigi saw him and caught him before he hit the ground. Luigi's strong biceps made Kiki blush immediately and he knew Luigi has big cock energy. Luigi always wanted to have a little goth GF and he and Kiki started dating.
BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality.
Years later he and Luigi married and Kiki became princess of the Monster Energy Kingdom.
Guy, he send me a reel about how breedable I am, what shoudl I do?
Appearances in Video Games
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside Ivan Čulina. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel.
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.
Trivia
- Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood.
- Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb.
- Shoesize 500
- Blind
- Had an emo phase
- Afraid of Susie (same honestly)
