Kristijan Valjavec: Difference between revisions
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Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian | '''Kristijan Valjavec''' (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as ''Kiki'' is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian. | ||
He has a | He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update. | ||
[[File:On8vfloe71v71.webp|left|thumb|158x158px|Kristijan being not a genetic failure]] | |||
He has a passionate hate for GayNein like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me. | |||
Also his skin is weirdly soft so I have a theory and at this point headcanon that he is actually a transboi (not that I would complain). He constantly leaves Monster energy cans everywhere at the workplace and I can get free deposit out of it hehehe. | |||
== History == | == History == | ||
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BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | ||
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeru Uperu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality. | |||
<!-- == long Rant (emotional & angry) == | |||
== Appearances in Video Games == | |||
=== Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown === | |||
'''Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown''' is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside [[Ivan Čulina]]. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel. | |||
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.<!-- == long Rant (emotional & angry) == | |||
(gonna gramma correct this later lol) | (gonna gramma correct this later lol) | ||
He was supposed to stay at the dishwasher yesterday with someone else and had a special shift that said he has to work till it's over, but cunt he is he leaves two complete full trolleys with a retarded amount of plates over for the next day, so I should take care of it. Bruh u were 2 ppl working at a time where no new plates came and you leave it to me the next day, who was a fucking lone and got spammed with 100 plates and cups by the waiters, I didn't have the fucking time to take care of YOUR garbage, especially since you two only worked one hour on it, that's nothing, idc how much else you all did that was your job, I also managed to leave my places nicely whenever I worked despite the fact I was dying the last month because I was constantly alone with a bunch of shit. | He was supposed to stay at the dishwasher yesterday with someone else and had a special shift that said he has to work till it's over, but cunt he is he leaves two complete full trolleys with a retarded amount of plates over for the next day, so I should take care of it. Bruh u were 2 ppl working at a time where no new plates came and you leave it to me the next day, who was a fucking lone and got spammed with 100 plates and cups by the waiters, I didn't have the fucking time to take care of YOUR garbage, especially since you two only worked one hour on it, that's nothing, idc how much else you all did that was your job, I also managed to leave my places nicely whenever I worked despite the fact I was dying the last month because I was constantly alone with a bunch of shit. | ||
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AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | ||
--> | --> | ||
== Trivia == | == Trivia == | ||
* Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood. | * Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood. | ||
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* Blind | * Blind | ||
* [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb]]Had an emo phase | * [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb]]Had an emo phase | ||
* Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | |||
[[Category:Croatia]] | [[Category:Croatia]] | ||
[[Category:Femboi]] | [[Category:Femboi]] | ||
Revision as of 18:54, 31 August 2024
Not to be confused with Christian Köhler that smurf looking mf
| ||
|
Real Name |
Kristijan | |
|
Alias(es) |
Kiki | |
|
Species |
Weeb | |
|
Sex |
Femboi | |
|
Date of Birth |
idk | |
|
Nationality |
Croatian | |
|
Relative(s) |
• Crazy Swazy | |
|
Occupation(s) |
Kitchun | |
|
Criminal Record |
Leaving Monster energy cans everywhere | |
|
Rank |
Lesbian Femboi | |
|
First Appearance |
At my workplace | |
|
Onlyfans |
Yes (naughty) | |
|
Status |
Still watching anime | |
Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard (and) like a lesbian.
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update.
He has a passionate hate for GayNein like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me.
Also his skin is weirdly soft so I have a theory and at this point headcanon that he is actually a transboi (not that I would complain). He constantly leaves Monster energy cans everywhere at the workplace and I can get free deposit out of it hehehe.
History
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai.
He wanted to kill himself and jumped of a cliff but Luigi saw him and caught him before he hit the ground. Luigi's strong biceps made Kiki blush immediately and he knew Luigi has big cock energy. Luigi always wanted to have a little goth GF and he and Kiki started dating.
BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeru Uperu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality.
Appearances in Video Games
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside Ivan Čulina. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel.
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.
Trivia
- Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood.
- Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb.
- Shoesize 500
- Blind
- Had an emo phase
- Afraid of Susie (same honestly)
