Oswald the Lucky Rabbit: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Oswald.webp|thumb]] | ''Not to be confused with [[User:Ozzie T. Floridian|Ozzie Floridian]] or the [[Oswald|page i literally didn't know exist before making this page]] or the [[Oswald (octopus)|octopus of the same name]].'' | ||
'''Oswald Leporid''', also known as '''Oswald the """""""Lucky"""""""" Rabbit, Oswald the [[Ortensia|Wif Beeter]]''', '''Oswald the Old Ass Geezer''', '''Ozzie of the Mounted,''' and '''Not My Self-Insert,''' was once an average everyday depressed and dissatisfied 1920s baker who was mediocre at best in cooking. One night, he got psychologically possessed in his sleep by [[The Demon Squids|parasitic demon-squids]] serving [[Tabotagus Glorpiglorp THE CREATOR VIII]] to time travel into the future to kill the world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman [[JFK from Clone High]], so that Tabotagus, the second most world famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman, would be the only world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman. ''Makes sense''? | |||
'''''"doo doo da doo, doo doo da doo, doo doo da doo it's Oswald" - His catchphrase.'''''[[File:Oswald.webp|thumb]] | |||
'''Lee Harvey Oswald Leporid''', also known as '''Oswald the """""""Lucky"""""""" Rabbit, Oswald the [[Ortensia|Wif Beeter]]''', '''Oswald the Old Ass Geezer''', '''Ozzie of the Mounted,''' and '''Not My Self-Insert,''' was once an average everyday depressed and dissatisfied 1920s baker who was mediocre at best in cooking. One night, he got psychologically possessed in his sleep by [[The Demon Squids|parasitic demon-squids]] serving [[Tabotagus Glorpiglorp THE CREATOR VIII]] to time travel into the future to kill the world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman [[JFK from Clone High]], so that Tabotagus, the second most world famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman, would be the only world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman. ''Makes sense''? | |||
[[Mortimer Mouse]], the esteemed time teleporting detective, was coincidentally present to bear witness to the horrific incident. However, the demons somehow evaded detection despite his telepathy and they successfully made him bring the blame on Oswald. Therefore, when Oswald finally went back home in the then-present 1920s, so too did Mortimer who shot him on the spot with a comically large bazooka due to it just being his job as an executioner. Although he was unresponsive and a whole sad ass funeral was held for him, he was not dead. Although he collapsed on the spot and remained unconscious for the longest time, there he was. He had awakened 90 years later in an underground burial with his flesh and bones still intact to his skin. To him, this was unbelievable, but being possessed demonically by servants of a squid demigod had its surprising rewards. | [[Mortimer Mouse]], the esteemed time teleporting detective, was coincidentally present to bear witness to the horrific incident. However, the demons somehow evaded detection despite his telepathy and they successfully made him bring the blame on Oswald. Therefore, when Oswald finally went back home in the then-present 1920s, so too did Mortimer who shot him on the spot with a comically large bazooka due to it just being his job as an executioner. Although he was unresponsive and a whole sad ass funeral was held for him, he was not dead. Although he collapsed on the spot and remained unconscious for the longest time, there he was. He had awakened 90 years later in an underground burial with his flesh and bones still intact to his skin. To him, this was unbelievable, but being possessed demonically by servants of a squid demigod had its surprising rewards. | ||
Revision as of 13:22, 25 July 2026
Not to be confused with Ozzie Floridian or the page i literally didn't know exist before making this page or the octopus of the same name.
"doo doo da doo, doo doo da doo, doo doo da doo it's Oswald" - His catchphrase.
Lee Harvey Oswald Leporid, also known as Oswald the """""""Lucky"""""""" Rabbit, Oswald the Wif Beeter, Oswald the Old Ass Geezer, Ozzie of the Mounted, and Not My Self-Insert, was once an average everyday depressed and dissatisfied 1920s baker who was mediocre at best in cooking. One night, he got psychologically possessed in his sleep by parasitic demon-squids serving Tabotagus Glorpiglorp THE CREATOR VIII to time travel into the future to kill the world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman JFK from Clone High, so that Tabotagus, the second most world famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman, would be the only world-famous eccentric and neurotic seashell salesman. Makes sense?
Mortimer Mouse, the esteemed time teleporting detective, was coincidentally present to bear witness to the horrific incident. However, the demons somehow evaded detection despite his telepathy and they successfully made him bring the blame on Oswald. Therefore, when Oswald finally went back home in the then-present 1920s, so too did Mortimer who shot him on the spot with a comically large bazooka due to it just being his job as an executioner. Although he was unresponsive and a whole sad ass funeral was held for him, he was not dead. Although he collapsed on the spot and remained unconscious for the longest time, there he was. He had awakened 90 years later in an underground burial with his flesh and bones still intact to his skin. To him, this was unbelievable, but being possessed demonically by servants of a squid demigod had its surprising rewards.
Biography
TBA because im a sad tired lazy virgin