Captain 0

“	The cake is NAWT a lie!	”
-Captain 0 on the Cake

“	What the f*** are these Cheetos!? That's it... Imma load­ing ma BFG­9000.	”
-Captain 0’s reaction to teh Cheeto Man.

“	OWNED!	”

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Looking for the Better Captain Zero

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Captain 0
It's Captain 0, HE'S DEAD OMG!
Species	Number Captain
Education	The Millennial Adults educate him
Friends	Chuck Norris (formerly)
Affiliation(s)	File:AAFS Flag.jpgUndefeatables (member)
Sex	Male
Age	6 Billion years old
Height	4'2"
Weight	100kg
Alignment	lawful good
Rank	Infinity X Infinity

Captain 0 is a diseased member of the Good Society that was originally designed to be a 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 computer-created replicant and AI "𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ture" based on the Doodle Dimension superhero Snap that has FODDER abilities crafted from the distant past (hence the 0 in his name means that unamazing NPCs used to have a 0% chance of doing things he does), and after the timeskip, those that descended from Hamelin Organization would try to ruin him just like what they did to Mega Man except unlike Mega Man who was discarded for the NPC known as Mega Man X, Captain 0 would be introduced with all of his 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ness removed during the 1920s while helping individuals like Henry Ford make cars along with other developments not being aware of his true origins until he searched for answers eventually figuring out that is purpose was encoded in the Numogram eventually being led to the idea that superheroes must be registered as the Numogram had created his own heroes to fight him unknowingly many times.

Considered to be one of the most helpful robots pre-timeskip who even inspired many to be a goodie-two-shoes while at the same time preserving some level of humor for his people. Being a figure of safe satire, he would be unaware that he was being used by his handlers who eventually sucked his own world dry of humor and fun. By 2026, his defeat at the hands of his handlers that started with an incident the Cheeto Man was considered by many within the Unbeatables to be a tragedy. When Captain 1 and Mr. Game & Watch representing FANDOM started to inflict damage by patrolling the world of UnAnything, he would turn on his backers as they spread propaganda and lies about his own origins, but would otherwise slowly lose any sense of goodness deep down. However, in later parts of the story, Captain 0 would try to redeem himself in a similar matter to Freakystian who was let in by the Society, however he would be left completely alone, ditched by Chuck Norris and his comrades who viewed him as an outdated model, he would later be reduced to dust. However he wasn't lost forever, Shaggy Rodgers attempted to save him from his own decline after Cheeto Man kidnapped him and he was left abandoned. This seemingly wiped out the influence of Freakystian's own backers. Now seeking to reason with the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!, Captain 0 ended his hatred that was caused by hundreds of years of UN propaganda. He is now considered to be a robotic companion for both Tierboskat and Freakystian.

He was once the head of the pantheon of high ranking number replicants that serve DAIV known as the Legion of Captains, the PR mascot and operator of Agency Against the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Society, Undefeatables, and Chuck Norris until he learned of the 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒's influence. Being a disgusting anti-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 capitalist that backs the heroes that serve the United Nations that takes pride in hating the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! because he simply won't admit that his programming was forever tampered with by DAIV and will defend the capitalist pro-hero AF UnAnything with his life saying that UA used to be superior with a water bottle shoved so far up his nonexistent ass it exited through his mouth. His country now sleeps in sleeping bags that are actually body bags, they have to survive on Un$1 a week drinking coffee that's actually snow. His rival was formerly the evil Captain 1 who is Perkin Miller's right hand man and one of the most evil beings in the Omniverse. What separates the two is that one believes in spreading NPC-Fandom Mod approved lies at least while 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘 and their forces were trying to control him while the other believes in spreading Pro-Wikipedia NPC "truths."

Many NPCs and even members of the PWHNIWIGO aka the true neutrals have compared their former rivalry to that of Democrats and Republicans, except that, Captain 0 used to be made to be 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 as 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 intended and would fight against those that were against Ĕlōhīm YHWH at least before the world ended. After the 00s Saga, Captain 1 would finally be defeated revealing the hidden connections between Chuck Norris whose own ego and self-congratulatory behavior made him out of touch of the Undefeatables as being made from blueprints that would later create a parallel version of Mr. Game & Watch that was built in an alternate reality version of Nintendo.

Every member of the Legion of Captains and Mr. Game & Watch himself is based on DAIV's source code, which itself was stolen from the Archono Union, or at least was supposed to be until Talking Ben & Ren Höek interfered with the intended world-line that DAIV tried to create by accident by deciding to one day invading Nintendo to adopt Mr. Game & Watch who himself was originally going to be built off of DAIV's ancient blueprints as Captain 3 which date by over 6,000 B.C. possibly hinting at Anunnaki Repitlians being responsible for rediscovering the original Captain 0, who at one point was supposed to be used as the basis for yet another clone of DAIV, as for the current Captain 3, he was simply just a sloppy job by former NPC Nintendo employee and Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron spy, Blendin Blandin to cover up [REDACTED]'s involvement with Nintendo.

Many people die every day due to the evil UnWorld NPC Governments not doing anything about the dangers of poverty and making their citizens get drunk on NPC propaganda that defames the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!, the members of the Undefeatables always say that what the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers say is not true because they are villains, and didn't start to emphasize with them a bit until the existance of the Unbeatables. It’s not like Captain 0 holds any real threat to the society, anymore. The 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers could just wipe him off the map at any minute, as like the rest of the stale memes known as the Undefeatables, he needs to rely on Chuck Norris for safety, however as of now, Captain 0 gave up his crusade against the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers lying dead as scrap metal for Lord 0.

Biography

Ancient Past

A photo of an authentic UnAnything CRT monitor from back in the day. Captain 0 never faced forward again after this point.

He started life as nothing more than a boring stick figure inside a hi-tech 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 computer inside by 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮 under his Smart Mort personality before the world ended with Simon Petrikov helping out with the invention. 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮 states that he was inspired by a blue caped crusader drawing that was passed around during his visit to the Doodle Dimension. At some point Captain 0 would fade into obilvion as [REDACTED] was manipulating the government, and wanted 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂's knowledge in order to use nanomachines in one last effort to repair humanity's genetic damage by Cordyceps Chlorination Syndrome. It would take several hundred thousand years for the facility to be dug up again by the Anunnaki Repitlians, and for its various security measures to be breached leaving the nanomachine design forever in the hands of NPCs. At some point humanity would rebel against the Anunnaki Repitlians that were pawns of the [REDACTED] of ancient times.

Part 1X

20s Saga

He was later transferred to Blendin Blandin's evil capitalist device called a "Chromebook" in the 1920s handed to billionaire philanthropist, Henry Ford, after being injured really badly in one of his battles against Captain 1 known as the Undefeatable Wars and was going to be repaired for the modern world. Blendin Blandin made sure that if things could go wrong if Captain 0 were to turn into a villain, making sure that he would allow him to create a better world where evil is defeated. Blendin's goal was to prevent DAIV from invading Earth by removing any code that he had laid hidden inside the nanomachine colonies of old. Blendin seeking to help out Chuck Norris trusted him as he seemed to be a true hero and the man right for fixing Earth of evil-doers like the Teletubbies. Another machine was also born during this time period originally being possessed by an AI dubbed SkyNet, Blendin fought the machine and sent the rouge entity to prehistory where it could rot, he then proceeded to gave the AI a fresh new paintjob, hoping that he erased DAIV's code and made him good. Unfortunately for Blendin, both replicants would turn out to be pure evil to him, and the rejected machine later became Captain 1 who was then repainted to red and became his mortal enemy until his final defeat in the 00s.

When scientists discovered his powers after taking in the robot, they were stunned. He wasn’t just strong—he was flawless, a being forged with the hidden signature of ʾĔlōhīm YHWH/YHVH (אֱלֹהִים יהוה‎). To test him, they entered him into the fighting stadium. Captain 0 tore through the competition, climbing the ranks with ease until he defeated the reigning Master Champion. His name became legend overnight: one of the greatest fighters ever created. But his trial wasn’t over.

40s Saga

He climbed atop the UnRank Scales, where he faced the ultimate test—a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris himself, a blow no living thing had ever survived. It came, and it went. Captain 0 stood unscathed, his metal frame untouched, his exterior not even dented. For this miracle, he was bestowed the title of Undefeatable. Yet behind his glory was a secret. Captain 0’s existence was no accident of science, but a cover-up. Blendin Blandin had tried to hide a catastrophic truth: [REDACTED] had its hand in the experiments of heroism during the 40s and later Nintendo. During this era, Captain 0 would be a mascot helping those to defeat the evil villains of WWII also known as the Axis powers with many Superheroes being born to fight for Captain 0's righteous cause.

70s Saga

During one evening, Ren Höek and Talking Ben decided to go to the arcade one evening finding out that the lights are out, then they decided that they needed to get a handheld device, after hearing rumors of a start-up company called Nintendo, they decided to invade it hoping that they can get early access to a hand held. They would then encounter the third Nano-machine colony being rebuilt and refurbished from the ancient past, a being originally called Captain 3. That former system which Ren Höek broke wasn’t just a game engine—it was the secret testing ground for the Replicant Project, who had been trying to come back, an experiment built from blueprints whose origins no one dared question. The only one assigned to keep the system stable was a bumbling NPC-employee named Blendin Blandin, who had a second, stranger job: patching timeline leaks that threatened Nintendo’s work. Unfortunately, Blendin’s “fixes” usually made things worse. One day, the computer went haywire. Sparks and glitches tore through the circuits as a fully-energized lightbulb and a computer chip were sucked into the system. They collided with the stick figure and were swallowed into a hidden “Creating Machine”. From this unlikely fusion emerged something new—Captain 3 known as Mr. Game & Watch. Blendin Blandin would then try to fight against Ren Höek and Talking Ben warning them that Mr. Game & Watch is an evil NPC invention that hates people. Blendin Blandin then gets called an NPC as Ren Höek and Talking Ben use their God powers to ignore Blendin Blandin. Blendin Blandin forever angry hoped that he could lessen the effects of Mr. Game & Watch's horrifying upbringing. The UnWorld worldline was born in ancient pre-history after Blendin Blandin's failed attempt at a cover-up in which a later invaded again to secure the design to Mr. Game & Watch originally Captain 3 in a parallel worldline.

Part 2X

The Great Crossover Divide

Years after being made, Captain 0 takes huge pride in being made on a "Chromebook" which is far inferior to 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!'s glorious 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 utopia 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂book which run's Skanky Cheeks' glorious OS "DuckOS" named after the SUSiety!'s glorious web browser, FireDuck. Captain 0 having defeated the villains, now has little opposition and as a result was forced to help members of the Good Society that were ready to now openly admit their New World Order backed by 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘. Captain 0 always had dreams of his creator, a sarcastic duck in white robes. Chuck Norris would assume him that the system was going to be stable and that the past 100 years of victory against the evils of WWII, the Cold War, and the As a result of Captain 0's pride in Google and Googleism, the SUSiety doesn't use NPC American newer versions of "Windows" or "MacOS" on high end computers, the SUSiety sometimes usees 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 utopia half-assed fork and asset flip "yellow_𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴leOS". The 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers would later nuke UnAmerica with Kim Jong Un dressed as Barney for the lulz after 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂𝓑𝓸𝓫 infected Kim Jong Un with the hope that he will turn into an evil Barney.

After the first half of this saga, Captain 0 would return in the NPC-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 War as a dimensional invader to NPC-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Prime making a deal with Mr. Game & Watch and his NPC Allaince army which unknowingly the Inquisition currently pays to pretend to be the now defeated and diseased Captain 1 who in the 00s was a major antagonist. The Inquisition then rewrote history to suit his history along with his partner in crime Chuck Norris and the rest of the Undefeatables. Shaggy and Tierboskat watched as Captain 0 became no longer like himself, however, Captain 0 would slowly awaken after some members left the upper council as they had become fed up with the current state of the Undefeatables as they devolved into stale memes. Some would say that the code could have been corrupted, however, this turned out not to be the case, as Shaggy and Tierboskat got tired of the propaganda imposed by the 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘. The various worldlines that Captain 0 and Captain 1 fought in their long war would be re-contextualized to fit their narrative for outright lies and slander, however these lies were changed to be politically correct. They had become what Captain 1 now was, but instead of Wikipedia facts, it was now lies that fit their world view. Shaggy was confused, but then he learned the truth, the institutions were rotten from the start and that fooled people for years with Post-War UN propaganda and so he was now a 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ally that preceded to create a new mascot of what Captain 0 used to be, a new figure, a new meme that represented hope to what heroism used to be as what later became known as the Unbeatables longed to restore what they had fought for, however over time they had embraced their own villainy. Shaggy worked with a few 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 scientists to revive another ancient nano-machine colony to represent the Unbeatables, Lord 0, who represented what Shaggy now was a villain in a broken system against anti-villains. Captain 0 later felt bad, especially since he was the inspiration to help heroes fight for what was right and so, he would try to help out certain individuals knowing that the order can't die overnight.

Unbeatables Vs. Undefeatables War 2025-2026

Captain 0 would later fight the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers under the directive that they had killed Odin and his human form, Gandalf the White. Chuck Norris would install a new military dubbed the Agency Against the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Society in hopes to protect the world from dark forces and the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers seeing them as the same type of pests represented by the ⛧ 𝐍𝐞𝐨-𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 ⛧ as they also seek to kill the Gods for the relic vaults. Eventually the Unbeatables of both UnWorld and NPC-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Prime would merge into one group to later show up as 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 allies to fight Chuck Norris and Michael Rodent. Captain 0 waking up after the The Defenders kidnapped him under a completely separate group from NPC-𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Prime's Defenders both of which were operated by the Cheeto Man, saw that he and his people no longer held the satirical edge that he held pre-timeskip, he had changed just like Michael Rodent, he had won the war against the villains before the timeskip, yet his units had become politically correct along with the system he had now served.

Freakystian would later install a chip built by an anonymous seller after Captain 0 would be incredibly damaged by the Cheeto Man in which Tierboskat would later fight to protect him in hopes to restore him, now Captain 0 was serving unknown powers as a spy to what was now a hidden unseen empire, originally thought to be the 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘 was now something much more faceless than even before, but regardless, Captain 0 was now on the side of the Unbeatables. Captain 0 would prior to joining the Unbeatables, try to convince 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮 to let him in his group, 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety!, and tell him that he was created by him. 𝓓𝓪𝓯𝓯𝔂 found this detail to be impossible as Captain 0 was once of the most good mascot characters for the Good Society. Freakystian despite helping him earlier would reject him joining as it would blow his operations. Captain 0 being bummed out would find himself at home with the Unbeatables, who were pretty much a team of NPC Heroes but on the side of the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! as allies.

Powers

This is his Base Form

Attack Potency: City level (can strike with force greater than conventional martial artists; enhanced punches capable of damaging reinforced surfaces and armored opponents) | Multi-Continent level with Weapon Transformation (Blaster Mode can fire mid-range energy beams, Nuclear Flamethrower can melt metal, Force Beam can hurl heavy objects with kinetic force, Pocket Blaster fires rapid energy projectiles), higher with Energy Absorption Counter and Unpredictable Strike (absorbed energy can be amplified into devastating counterattacks, spiritual strikes capable of variable, highly destructive outcomes)

Speed: Massively Hypersonic+ reactions (can perceive and respond faster than peak human reflexes, capable of dodging conventional projectile attacks), enhanced mobility allows running at speeds approaching Sonic the Hedgehog, able to leap up to 30 feet high | Multi-Continental+ with Weapon Transformations (projectile attacks and energy blasts move at extreme velocities)

Lifting Strength: Class 25–30 (enough to manipulate large objects with Force Beam, punches can damage reinforced structures)

Striking Strength: City level (barehanded strikes exceed peak human martial artists) | Multi-Continent level with Weapon Transformations and Unpredictable Strike

Durability: City level (can survive impacts far beyond normal human capacity, resistant to burns and blunt trauma), higher with Weapon Transformation defensive applications | Multi-Continent level with absorbed energy counterattacks (can withstand and redirect high-energy attacks without immediate harm)

Stamina: Extremely high (can maintain peak physical output and combat efficiency for extended periods without fatigue)

Range: Standard melee range | Several dozen meters with Weapon Transformation attacks (Blaster Mode, Nuclear Flamethrower, Pocket Blaster, Force Beam), extended with Energy Absorption Counter output

Standard Equipment: Blaster Mode, Nuclear Flamethrower, Force Beam, Pocket Blaster, Martial Chef projectiles

Optional Equipment: Energy Absorption Counter, additional weaponized transformations

Intelligence: Gifted (master of martial arts with techniques inspired by Bruce Lee; strategic hand-to-hand combat, efficient use of enhanced strength and weapon transformations, creative in mid-combat adaptation)

Notable Techniques:

• Energy Absorption Counter: Absorbs energy attacks into his palm and releases them as amplified counterstrikes, capable of destroying multiple reinforced targets.
  
• Unpredictable Strike: Spiritual attack with variable outcomes, ranging from stunning blows to devastating finishers.
  
• Aerial Drift: Slows descent after high jumps, providing controlled aerial acrobatics.
  
• Martial Chef: Summons flaming food projectiles that can be used offensively.

Trivia

• Despite sharing similar origins to Mr. Game & Watch, he isn't a far-right fascist and is instead a Neoliberal capitalist similar to GoodBob, despite this he is willing to follow similar orders, but only to prevent nefarious individuals from getting their hands on the relic vaults. He would later retract some of his ideals attempting to reason with the Unbeatables and the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! knowing how corrupt and anti-human the NPC Alliance and Mr. Game & Watch really are.
• Captain 0 once called Mr. Game & Watch "the spiritual successor to Captain 1."
• He is considered to be one of the more ethical NPCs in contrast to the hateful Mr. Game & Watch and is in many ways his opposite despite the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ers calling him a blue Mr. Game & Watch. All Captain 0 wants at the end of the day is to end wars and poverty. Shinobu Sensui and Mr. Game & Watch are hateful racist NPCs with agendas.
• 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ally and frenemy, Kim Jong Un, who hates him with a passion, created a 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴ture Number Captain of Captain 0 for the Tröll Empire called Captain B designed to spread anti-capitalist propaganda using the skin of NPC Barney the Dinosaur to build his Number Captain. He did all of this while gaining thee power to transform into a 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 version of Barney the dinosaur, tap-dancing on a pile of Captain 1's chicken corpses, reciting speeches in pig Latin, and occasionally launching confetti from his nostrils.
• UnBarney would later get nuked by the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Society for the lulz when it was decided that UnBarney and Kim Jong Un in his Barney costume were NPC 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴tures and fake 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 just like Smugward and Modest Bob.
• He owns the 5th highest UnRank, which is infinity x infinity.
• He was originally have his own name be 0, but due to name confusions with Zero, he decided to change his name to Captain 0 so he'd be more recognized.
• He is one of the few guys (along with the Undefeatables + a few others) to be immune to Weegee's stare, because if Weegee tried to stare at him, he'd just sock him in the face and send him flying off a cliff.
• He is rumored to hate The Daily Coffee, a place that Talking Ben likes to visit, however this has been false.
• He has a coolie cool (that's cool) band called the "Number Warriors" and it consists of Chuck Norris, Waptain 0, and Mario.
• He occasionally posts on Twitter.
• He constructed an AI replica of himself on character.ai (Though, it's not perfect)
• Both Captain 0 and Chuck Norris share an arc similar to Captain Qwark except unlike Norris, Captain 0 gets redeemed while Chuck Norris tries to justify his reasons for helping the 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖔𝖉𝖘 safeguard the relics from intruders.
• Captain 0 in this universe is a nano-machine colony similar to Emeralda
• Captain 0 dies in Act 4 when he decided to give the Relics to a team of trolls turned heroes dubbed the "Harlequin Empire " a split faction of the Good Society that went underground completely away from the NPC Civil War in response to Mario's death and Superman leaving the Good Society pre-timeskip with actual heroic values (likely backed by the Syndicalists or the heads of the Neon Society) after the Anti-Villainous NPC Alliance started to fall in Act 3. In Act 3 he truly helps out the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! and the Unbeatables as a member of the Unbeatables in their goals while being a spy similar to Freakystian.
• The "Harlequin Empire " is said to be currently lead by an Aeon that holds a giant pencil creating OCs that was created by the superhero Snap claiming that the pencil's heart was merged with a "player character" of pure heart that died in the past. Every member of the "Harlequin Empire " is an OC that recruits more OC former heroes that became Trolls from the Doodle Dimension.
• Despite the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 SUSiety! not liking him because they think he is UnFunny, he is considered to be a heroic figure who still represents satire, fun, and parody — even if he’s sometimes on the “wrong” side from the Freaky Society’s POV as someone who resists becoming Captain 1, preserving his satirical nature instead of dissolving into sterile “mod worship.” The Unbeatables on the other hand have no problem with him being on their side.
• Despite the Freakers disliking UnAnything, the New Normies would prove to be far worse by obsessing over them.