Kristijan Valjavec

Not to be confused with Christian Köhler that smurf looking mf

Kiki
slurp slurp
Real Name	Kristijan
Alias(es)	Kiki
Species	Weeb
Sex	Femboi
Date of Birth	idk
Nationality	Croatian
Relative(s)	• Crazy Swazy • incel looking brother
Occupation(s)	Kitchun
Criminal Record	Leaving Monster energy cans everywhere
Rank	Lesbian Femboi
First Appearance	At my workplace
Onlyfans	Yes (naughty)
Status	Still watching anime

Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard (and) like a lesbian.

He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update.

He has a passionate hate for GayNein like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me.

Also his skin is weirdly soft so I have a theory and at this point headcanon that he is actually a transboi (not that I would complain). He constantly leaves Monster energy cans everywhere at the workplace and I can get free deposit out of it hehehe.

Kristijan being not a genetic failure

History

Kristijan being a kawaii maid

While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai.

He wanted to kill himself and jumped of a cliff but Luigi saw him and caught him before he hit the ground. Luigi's strong biceps made Kiki blush immediately and he knew Luigi has big cock energy. Luigi always wanted to have a little goth GF and he and Kiki started dating.

BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA

2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality.

Appearances in Video Games

Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown

Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside Ivan Čulina. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel.

The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.

Trivia

• Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood.
• Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb.
• Shoesize 500
• Blind
• 
  Had an emo phase
• Afraid of Susie (same honestly)