Colonel Blintz: Difference between revisions
JoshGroban (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{Deceased}} thumb|fatass '''Colonel Blintz''' was an ex-officer of the Green Nation and an ex-Freaker. Blintz was in charge of a Green-held region until he was injured in the line of duty when he was shot in the head; the injury was described as a "massive, disfiguring head wound." Afterwards, he disappeared, only to resurface later as a member of the Tan Republic and the NPC Alliance, taking his soldiers with him. The soldiers that woul...") |
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'''Colonel Blintz''' was an ex-officer of the [[Green Nation]] and an ex-Freaker. Blintz was in charge of a Green-held region until he was injured in the line of duty when he was shot in the head; the injury was described as a "massive, disfiguring head wound." Afterwards, he disappeared, only to resurface later as a member of the [[Tan Republic]] and the [[NPC Alliance]], taking his soldiers with him. The soldiers that wouldn't join him were melted down for scrap. The head wound was so severe that he lost his fucking mind and became a bloodthirsty psychopath who hates all of freakydom. He killed freakers on the daily. | '''Colonel Blintz''' was an ex-officer of the [[Green Nation]] and an ex-Freaker. Blintz was in charge of a Green-held region until he was injured in the line of duty when he was shot in the head; the injury was described as a "massive, disfiguring head wound." Afterwards, he disappeared, only to resurface later as a member of the [[Tan Republic]] and the [[NPC Alliance]], taking his soldiers with him. The soldiers that wouldn't join him were melted down for scrap. The head wound was so severe that he lost his fucking mind and became a bloodthirsty psychopath who hates all of freakydom. He killed freakers on the daily. | ||
Blintz was intent on dominating the Earth and was using the [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]]'s own tactics against them. He is defeated and bitches about it until [[Sgt. Hawk Tuah|Sergeant Hawk Tuah]] peeled ALL OF BLINTZ'S SKIN OFF, GOUGED HIS EYEBALLS OUT, DISSECTED HIS STOMACH, THEN PROCEEDED TO TEAR OFF HIS MUSCLES, CRACK HIS SKULL AND LIGHT HIS SKELETON ABLAZE, MELTING HIS SKELETON after beating him up. He then poured the melted remains of the skeleton in a glass and drank it. | Blintz was intent on dominating the Earth and was using the [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]]'s own tactics against them. He is defeated and bitches about it until [[Sgt. Hawk Tuah|Sergeant Hawk Tuah]] peeled ALL OF BLINTZ'S SKIN OFF, GOUGED HIS EYEBALLS OUT, DISSECTED HIS STOMACH, THEN PROCEEDED TO TEAR OFF HIS MUSCLES, CRACK HIS SKULL, DISMEMBER HIS REMAINS AND LIGHT HIS SKELETON ABLAZE, MELTING HIS SKELETON after beating him up. He then poured the melted remains of the skeleton in a glass and drank it. | ||
It's possible that he wasn't part of the Tan Army but of a different faction that he created with his troops. | It's possible that he wasn't part of the Tan Army but of a different faction that he created with his troops. | ||
Revision as of 10:27, 8 April 2026
Colonel Blintz was an ex-officer of the Green Nation and an ex-Freaker. Blintz was in charge of a Green-held region until he was injured in the line of duty when he was shot in the head; the injury was described as a "massive, disfiguring head wound." Afterwards, he disappeared, only to resurface later as a member of the Tan Republic and the NPC Alliance, taking his soldiers with him. The soldiers that wouldn't join him were melted down for scrap. The head wound was so severe that he lost his fucking mind and became a bloodthirsty psychopath who hates all of freakydom. He killed freakers on the daily.
Blintz was intent on dominating the Earth and was using the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society's own tactics against them. He is defeated and bitches about it until Sergeant Hawk Tuah peeled ALL OF BLINTZ'S SKIN OFF, GOUGED HIS EYEBALLS OUT, DISSECTED HIS STOMACH, THEN PROCEEDED TO TEAR OFF HIS MUSCLES, CRACK HIS SKULL, DISMEMBER HIS REMAINS AND LIGHT HIS SKELETON ABLAZE, MELTING HIS SKELETON after beating him up. He then poured the melted remains of the skeleton in a glass and drank it.
It's possible that he wasn't part of the Tan Army but of a different faction that he created with his troops.