Kristijan Valjavec: Difference between revisions
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'''Kristijan Valjavec''' (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as ''Kiki'' is a croation "guy" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian. | '''Kristijan Valjavec''' (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as ''Kiki'' is a croation ""guy"" that looks incredible hard <small>(and)</small> like a lesbian. | ||
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update. | He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update. [[File:On8vfloe71v71.webp|left|thumb|158x158px|Kristijan being not a genetic failure]]He has a passionate hate for GayNein (another coworker) like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and also Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, I like to assault his hair with no consent, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me. | ||
He | He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice. | ||
He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy. Also I know you're a femboy i saw the reels u liked, stop denying it. | |||
<s>He still owes me 16,94 €.</s> Nevermind guys he payed it back. | |||
<div style="clear:left;"></div> | <div style="clear:left;"></div> | ||
== History == | == History == | ||
[[File:Kristijan wifu.png|left|thumb| | [[File:Kristijan wifu.png|left|thumb|144x144px|Kristijan being a kawaii maid]] | ||
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai. | While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai. | ||
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BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA | ||
[[File:Princess-kiki.jpg|left|thumb|190x190px|Princess Kiki and the Monster Energy Kingdom]] | |||
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality. | |||
Years later he and Luigi married and Kiki became princess of the Monster Energy Kingdom. | |||
Guys, he send me a reel about how breedable I am, what shoudl I do? | |||
<div style="clear:left;"></div> | |||
== Appearances in Video Games == | == Appearances in Video Games == | ||
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'''Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown''' is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside [[Ivan Čulina]]. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel. | '''Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown''' is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside [[Ivan Čulina]]. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel. | ||
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.<!-- == long Rant (emotional & angry) == | The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or [[Aleksa P.|Aleksa]], each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.<!-- == long Rant (emotional & angry) == | ||
(gonna gramma correct this later lol) | (gonna gramma correct this later lol) | ||
He was supposed to stay at the dishwasher yesterday with someone else and had a special shift that said he has to work till it's over, but cunt he is he leaves two complete full trolleys with a retarded amount of plates over for the next day, so I should take care of it. Bruh u were 2 ppl working at a time where no new plates came and you leave it to me the next day, who was a fucking lone and got spammed with 100 plates and cups by the waiters, I didn't have the fucking time to take care of YOUR garbage, especially since you two only worked one hour on it, that's nothing, idc how much else you all did that was your job, I also managed to leave my places nicely whenever I worked despite the fact I was dying the last month because I was constantly alone with a bunch of shit. | He was supposed to stay at the dishwasher yesterday with someone else and had a special shift that said he has to work till it's over, but cunt he is he leaves two complete full trolleys with a retarded amount of plates over for the next day, so I should take care of it. Bruh u were 2 ppl working at a time where no new plates came and you leave it to me the next day, who was a fucking lone and got spammed with 100 plates and cups by the waiters, I didn't have the fucking time to take care of YOUR garbage, especially since you two only worked one hour on it, that's nothing, idc how much else you all did that was your job, I also managed to leave my places nicely whenever I worked despite the fact I was dying the last month because I was constantly alone with a bunch of shit. | ||
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AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | ||
--> | --> | ||
<div style="clear:both;"></div> | |||
== Trivia == | == Trivia == | ||
* Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood. | * Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood. | ||
** Just tried a bit, that shit tastes like toothpaste and medicine wtf, why do ppl drink this | |||
* Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb. | * Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb. | ||
* Shoesize 500 | * Shoesize 500 | ||
* Blind | * Blind | ||
* [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb]]Had an emo phase | * [[File:Kitten gf.png|thumb|168x168px]]Had an emo phase | ||
* Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | * Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | ||
<div style="clear:right;"></div> | |||
{{Balkans}} | |||
<!-- For later> | |||
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:10em; right: 10em; z-index:999"> | |||
[[File:Gay kiki2.png|208x208px]] | |||
</div> | |||
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:8em; right: 3em; z-index:999"> | |||
[[File:uwu heart.gif|400px]] | |||
</div>--> | |||
[[Category:Croatia]] | [[Category:Croatia]] | ||
[[Category:Weeaboos]] | |||
[[Category:Femboi]] | [[Category:Femboi]] | ||
[[Category:Gay]] | |||
[[Category:AIDS]] | [[Category:AIDS]] | ||
[[Category:ADHD]] | [[Category:ADHD]] | ||
[[Category:Weeb]] | [[Category:Weeb]] | ||
[[Category:Serbia hater]] | [[Category:Serbia hater]] | ||
[[Category:Nacho Articles]] | |||
Latest revision as of 10:34, 1 October 2025
Not to be confused with Christian Köhler that smurf looking mf
| Kiki | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
| slurp slurp | ||
|
Real Name |
Kristijan | |
|
Alias(es) |
Kiki | |
|
Species |
Weeb | |
|
Sex |
Femboi | |
|
Date of Birth |
idk | |
|
Nationality |
Croatian | |
|
Relative(s) |
• Crazy Swazy | |
|
Occupation(s) |
Kitchun | |
|
Criminal Record |
Leaving Monster energy cans everywhere | |
|
Rank |
Lesbian Femboi | |
|
First Appearance |
At my workplace | |
|
Onlyfans |
Yes (naughty) | |
|
Status |
Still watching anime | |
Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation ""guy"" that looks incredible hard (and) like a lesbian.
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update.
He has a passionate hate for GayNein (another coworker) like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and also Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, I like to assault his hair with no consent, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me.
He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice.
He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy. Also I know you're a femboy i saw the reels u liked, stop denying it.
He still owes me 16,94 €. Nevermind guys he payed it back.
History[edit | edit source]
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai.
He wanted to kill himself and jumped of a cliff but Luigi saw him and caught him before he hit the ground. Luigi's strong biceps made Kiki blush immediately and he knew Luigi has big cock energy. Luigi always wanted to have a little goth GF and he and Kiki started dating.
BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality.
Years later he and Luigi married and Kiki became princess of the Monster Energy Kingdom.
Guys, he send me a reel about how breedable I am, what shoudl I do?
Appearances in Video Games[edit | edit source]
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown[edit | edit source]
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside Ivan Čulina. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel.
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood.
- Just tried a bit, that shit tastes like toothpaste and medicine wtf, why do ppl drink this
- Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb.
- Shoesize 500
- Blind
- Had an emo phase
- Afraid of Susie (same honestly)
|