Kristijan Valjavec: Difference between revisions
(Accidentally send the nacho articles category to coworker and they found this article, he doesn't have a problem with the article himself but he wouldn't want more coworkers to see it.) Tag: Reverted |
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<big>Not to be confused with [[Christian Köhler]] that smurf looking mf</big> | <big>Not to be confused with [[Christian Köhler]] that smurf looking mf</big> | ||
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He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice. | He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice. | ||
He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy, | He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy. Also I know you're a femboy i saw the reels u liked, stop denying it. | ||
<s>He still owes me 16,94 €.</s> Nevermind guys he payed it back. | <s>He still owes me 16,94 €.</s> Nevermind guys he payed it back. | ||
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=== Extra === | === Extra === | ||
AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | AND NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU JUST WENT HOME ONE DAY LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF WORK TO THE POINT THAT I HAD TO CALL MY MOM TO HELP ME, LIKE EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO STAY TILL EVERYONE FINISHED, AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, I NEVER DID THIS TO YOU. Anyway my mom was so pissed since it was her free day she told susie, so no, it wasn't me who snitched, but even if, your fault, hope susie screaming at you was painful | ||
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== Trivia == | == Trivia == | ||
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* Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | * Afraid of Susie (same honestly) | ||
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{{Balkans}} | {{Balkans}} | ||
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[[Category:Croatia]] | [[Category:Croatia]] | ||
[[Category:Weeaboos]] | |||
[[Category:Femboi]] | [[Category:Femboi]] | ||
[[Category:Gay]] | [[Category:Gay]] | ||
Latest revision as of 10:34, 1 October 2025
Not to be confused with Christian Köhler that smurf looking mf
| Kiki | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
| slurp slurp | ||
|
Real Name |
Kristijan | |
|
Alias(es) |
Kiki | |
|
Species |
Weeb | |
|
Sex |
Femboi | |
|
Date of Birth |
idk | |
|
Nationality |
Croatian | |
|
Relative(s) |
• Crazy Swazy | |
|
Occupation(s) |
Kitchun | |
|
Criminal Record |
Leaving Monster energy cans everywhere | |
|
Rank |
Lesbian Femboi | |
|
First Appearance |
At my workplace | |
|
Onlyfans |
Yes (naughty) | |
|
Status |
Still watching anime | |
Kristijan Valjavec (no fucking idea how to pronounce that last name) also known as Kiki is a croation ""guy"" that looks incredible hard (and) like a lesbian.
He was added as a new character during Summer 2024 in the latest "People at my fucking workplace" update.
He has a passionate hate for GayNein (another coworker) like any normal human would since he is literally Satan and Hitler's love child (and also Bulgarian...). He also likes anime, even has a Naruto shirt that made me cringe. But his hair is fluffy tho, I can't hate on that, I like to assault his hair with no consent, yet he has a aerodynamic face shape like Vector from Despictable Me.
He loves Monster energy drinks to the point where he would easily fall for any trap including this green cum juice.
He has also weirdly soft skin that made me think he made be a transboy. Also I know you're a femboy i saw the reels u liked, stop denying it.
He still owes me 16,94 €. Nevermind guys he payed it back.
History[edit | edit source]
While he was a teenager he got a crush on Jimmy Neutron, but he rejected him because Jimmy isn't attracted to twinks. This made him so depressed he died his hair black and had an emo phase and cried after Jimmy senpai.
He wanted to kill himself and jumped of a cliff but Luigi saw him and caught him before he hit the ground. Luigi's strong biceps made Kiki blush immediately and he knew Luigi has big cock energy. Luigi always wanted to have a little goth GF and he and Kiki started dating.
BWAHHAHAHAH HE JUST TRIED TO STAND UP AND HIT A BENCH AND FELL DOWN WITH THE BENCH CUZ HES DRUNK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE SO STUPID WHAHAHHAHAHAH, I THINK HE CRINGED WHEN IT HAPPENED WHAHAHAHAHHA
2025 a monkey gave Kiki a magical Monster Energy can and told him to say "Skibidi Gyatt-dawa, Makeu Upu" and caused him to transform into Sailor Ur-Anus with the power of homosexuality.
Years later he and Luigi married and Kiki became princess of the Monster Energy Kingdom.
Guys, he send me a reel about how breedable I am, what shoudl I do?
Appearances in Video Games[edit | edit source]
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown[edit | edit source]
Balkan Brawl: The Eternal BBQ Showdown is an upcoming fighting simulator scheduled for release on Xbox Series X and Gaystation 5, but notably absent from the Switch due to its "Windows 8 laptop-level power." It will feature Kristijan as a playable character, alongside Ivan Čulina. The game’s trailer premiered on the official McDonald's YouTube channel.
The storyline revolves around a heated competition between Croatia and Serbia to claim the Golden Chicken Nugget. Players can choose to fight as Kristijan, Ivan Čulina, or Aleksa, each with unique culinary combat skills. In this humorous and intense showdown, players battle for barbecue supremacy in a quest to secure the legendary nugget.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Likes Monster energy drinks, it's literally his blood.
- Just tried a bit, that shit tastes like toothpaste and medicine wtf, why do ppl drink this
- Somehow understands how to use deodorant as a weeb.
- Shoesize 500
- Blind
- Had an emo phase
- Afraid of Susie (same honestly)
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