Cucker Tarlson

A news anchor of the show of the same name, on the Faux News Network. He's an America First patriot who likes to showcase internet insanity on live television to other American conservatives who were blissfully unaware of how broken internet culture has becpme. However he would soon get cucked by the Russians, specifically by the RT Network during the Ukrainian War. He made Russian propaganda to combat the Ukrainian supporting soyboys and doing so ended up invited by the Russian media to visit the country and interview Vladimir Putin.For the whole interview; Putin only lectured him the entire history of Russia.

Cucker later made videos documenting how advanced Russian society is. Such as showing off that shopping trolleys can be locked and daisy chained with other shopping trolleys, unlocked by a coin, and showing off why ticks there are stronger and dangerous than the effeminate ticks in the West.

Unfortunately for him. His vids were stolen and reuploaded by RT Network as his revenue got siphoned.

Now he spends his days speedrunning Super Mario Bros. 2 against the locals in the White Castle backdoor dumpsters at 5910 Crawfordsvile Rd. Speedway. IN 46224. He is currently in 8th place out of 10 in locals at Any%.