Pretentio

Pretentio is the metaphysical embodiment of the concept of pretentiousness. He is the leader of a hivemind that infects the weak-minded and insecure. You've probably met someone infected by Pretentio before. He is revered by hipsters and people with severe complexes.

Recall the one person in your life who is supremely, obnoxiously pretentious: that is Pretentio, the one who uses big words to sound smart despite having no idea what they actually mean, who thinks his opinions are superior to yours, and is constantly on his high horse preaching about moral fallacies he doesn't understand, all in an effort to make himself look like a savant and you, a moron.

Pretentio can never say he simply 'likes' something, he must always over explain in great detail why he is the only person in existence who truly appreciates the beauty of said thing, and he can never share the joy of camaraderie or mutual understanding, because he considers everyone else to be a thoughtless peon who simply experiences life and the universe at a lower echelon of consciousness than him. In this way, one may think of Pretentio's life as a cursed existence: perhaps it would be so, if he did not knowingly indulge in his ways. Pretentio himself does not and will never see it as a curse. In his mind, everyone else is simply not worthy of being in his presence.

He hates freakers because he doesn't understand the concept of irony and can't fathom that anyone could actually like something without also endorsing or romanticizing it. Also because nobody considers him an actual member of Freaky SUSiety, since he's insufferable to be around. At the same time, he dislikes NPCs because they are far too mainstream and they hate him for he's too anti-social and liable to be a member of their society. Instead he is a member of PWHNIWGO.

He will try to tell you that he is smarter than he lets on. Do not believe his lies. His inner monologue sounds nothing like a Greek philosophist; Pretentio is just delusional. Prolonged exposure may cause loss of brain cells, headaches, nausea and vomiting.