Gurly Gug
Gurly Gug (ガーリー・グーグ, Gārī Gūgu) is an unnatural eldritch triocular 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 elephant/dinosaur/mouse/Urethra Gremlin hybrid who hails from the small New England town of Boilleog, New Hampshire. She tortures the NPC Palm Tree in the most graphic and inhumane of ways imaginable akin to how Big Dick Randy loves fucking Tiny Dick Steve. She's commonly seen with a toilet paper roll on her head that she uses as a hat like a true freaker.
the incident
Gurly was once a sad broken thing. She was too afraid to sign a j*b application and Roger's prostitution and drug cartel j*b didn't pay him enough to lend Gurly anything in return. She couldn't even afford a car and her only form of transit was by foot. And one day while going down the sidewalk to get to Hooters, she and Palm Tree bumped into each other whilst walking. Gurly stared dead at her in the eye and that's literally all it took for her to immediately realize what an NPC virgin piece of shit that Palm Tree was, so she dedicated the entire rest of her life from that point on to torture Palm Tree and gleefully post it online. This newfound prominence on Reddit gave her the attention she so desperately needed and soon she became the richest motherfucker alive in Boilleog and is currently the empress of said town. This is how you write character development vince gilligan!
As for Palm Tree though, she has broken 94% of every bone in her body.
trivia
- Roger from American Dad is her boyfriend
- Ted Kaczynski is her father, and the Urethra Gremlin is her mother
- She went back in time to 1600s Transylvania, changed her name to Jonathan and banged Count Dracula's daughter
