Astingerslinger the Slayer - Revision history

BubsyTidePods at 04:34, 25 June 2026

2026-06-25T04:34:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:34, 25 June 2026
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	[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]		[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]
	'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 State of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.		'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members with [[Bloodedge the Griffin]] in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 State of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.

	==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==		==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==

BubsyTidePods at 05:01, 15 June 2026

2026-06-15T05:01:02Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:01, 15 June 2026
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	=== Death ===		=== Death ===
	He was beheaded in Delaware after receiving the death penalty after trying to kill [[~~King Caden~~ I of Delaware]] .		He was beheaded in Delaware after receiving the death penalty after trying to kill [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish I of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 States of Delaware]] .

	[[Category:Anti-freakies]]		[[Category:Anti-freakies]]

BubsyTidePods at 04:58, 15 June 2026

2026-06-15T04:58:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:58, 15 June 2026
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	[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]		[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]
	'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[~~Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)\|~~Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 State of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.		'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 State of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.

	==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==		==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==

BubsyTidePods at 04:58, 15 June 2026

2026-06-15T04:58:21Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:58, 15 June 2026
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	[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]		[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]
	'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)\|Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[~~King Caden~~ of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.		'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)\|Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[Cade Funfish\|Cade Funfish of the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 State of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.

	==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==		==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==

Ozzie T. Floridian at 23:59, 12 February 2026

2026-02-12T23:59:08Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:59, 12 February 2026
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	[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]		[[File:Astingerslinger.webp\|thumb\|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]
	'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)\|Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[King Caden of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via beheading in Rehoboth Beach.		'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)\|Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[King Caden of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via firing squad and beheading ''simultaneously'' in Rehoboth Beach.

	==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==		==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==

JoshGroban: Created page with "Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain '''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing NPC Alliance and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists Chef Boyardee in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate King Cad..."

2026-01-12T23:54:32Z

Created page with "thumb|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain '''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing NPC Alliance and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists Chef Boyardee in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate King Cad..."

New page

[[File:Astingerslinger.webp|thumb|Astingerslinger with the blood of the Freaky Society members he slain]]
'''Astingerslinger the Slayer''' was an NPC sponge warrior who kills [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]] members in cold blood. He is a member of the opposing [[NPC Alliance]] and is the most ruthless of all the NPCs, he assists [[Chef Boyardee (Freaky arc)|Chef Boyardee]] in killing Freakys. In August 2024, he was arrested after attempting to assassinate [[King Caden of Delaware]]. On October 20, 2024, he was executed via beheading in Rehoboth Beach.

==Origins (totally not lazy ai shit)==

In the quaint and serene underwater village of Spongopolis, life flowed as gently as the currents. Spongopolis was known for its vibrant coral reefs, playful schools of fish, and its most celebrated resident, Astingerslinger—a warrior sponge with a heart as absorbent as his body. But Spongopolis had a peculiar problem: the Freakys.

Unlike traditional monsters, Freakys weren't creepy or grotesque. Instead, they possessed a singular, diabolical skill—calling people on phones deviously. A simple phone call from a Freaky could turn a peaceful day into chaos. These calls would spread rumors, create confusion, and cause endless frustration among the villagers.

Astingerslinger, known for his bravery and quick wit, had made it his life's mission to rid Spongopolis of these mischievous Freakys. With his trusty coral sword and shield made from the finest seaweed, he set out to track down and slay Freakys of all kinds.

===='''The Normal Freakys'''====
Astingerslinger's first encounters were with the Normal Freakys. These creatures were small, slippery, and incredibly stealthy. They hid in kelp forests and coral caves, waiting for the perfect moment to make their devious calls.

One sunny morning, Astingerslinger heard the familiar, unsettling ring of a Freaky's phone call echoing through the coral canyons. With a swift dive, he followed the sound and found a Normal Freaky, its tentacles wrapped around a seashell phone.

"Aha! Caught you!" Astingerslinger shouted, brandishing his sword.

The Normal Freaky shrieked and tried to slip away, but Astingerslinger's agility and determination were unmatched. With a swift strike, he cut the phone line and captured the Freaky in a net made of starfish.

"Not so freaky now, are you?" Astingerslinger said with a triumphant grin as he tossed the subdued Freaky into a specially crafted cell.

===='''The Freaky Society'''====
While capturing Normal Freakys was a significant achievement, Astingerslinger knew that the real threat lay with the Freaky Society. Led by the cunning and elusive Freaky Bob, this group of elite Freakys orchestrated the most devious phone schemes. Their headquarters, hidden in the darkest depths of the Abyssal Trench, was a fortress of secrecy and deceit.

Determined to end their reign of telephonic terror, Astingerslinger embarked on a perilous journey to the Abyssal Trench. Along the way, he faced numerous challenges, from navigating treacherous underwater currents to battling fierce sea creatures guarding the Freaky Society's lair.

Finally, he reached the massive, kelp-covered gates of the Freaky Society's hideout. With a deep breath, Astingerslinger pushed the gates open and entered the cavernous chamber. The room was filled with glowing seaweed screens and elaborate coral desks where Freakys plotted their next calls.

At the center of it all sat Freaky Bob, a larger and more menacing version of the Normal Freakys, with a crown of seashells and a trident of seahorse bones.

"Astingerslinger, we've been expecting you," Freaky Bob sneered, his voice echoing through the chamber.

"Your days of devious calls are over, Freaky Bob!" Astingerslinger declared, raising his sword.

A fierce battle ensued, with Astingerslinger and Freaky Bob clashing in a whirlwind of bubbles and sea spray. Freaky Bob's trident struck with precision, but Astingerslinger's agility and determination kept him one step ahead.

In a final, decisive move, Astingerslinger disarmed Freaky Bob and severed the main phone line connecting the Freaky Society's network. Sparks flew, and the screens went dark. The other Freakys, realizing their leader had been defeated, fled in panic.

===='''Peace Restored'''====
With Freaky Bob captured and the Freaky Society disbanded, peace was restored to Spongopolis. The villagers rejoiced, celebrating their hero, Astingerslinger, who had saved them from the devious clutches of the Freakys.

Astingerslinger returned to his simple life, always ready to protect his village from any new threats. But he kept a close watch on the horizon, knowing that as long as there were phones, the potential for Freakys would always linger.

And so, the legend of Astingerslinger the Slayer grew, a testament to the bravery and resilience of a warrior sponge who stood up against the most unexpected of foes.

=== Death ===
He was beheaded in Delaware after receiving the death penalty after trying to kill [[King Caden I of Delaware]] .

[[Category:Anti-freakies]]
[[Category:Assassins]]
[[Category:Chaotic Good]]
[[Category:Freaky arc]]
[[Category:Killers]]
[[Category:Murderers]]
[[Category:NPCs]]
[[Category:Opposition to the Freaky Society]]
[[Category:Ozzie2009]]
[[Category:Ozzie Cinematic Universe]]
[[Category:Sponges]]
[[Category:Warriors]]
[[Category:Yellows]]