Editing Daron Malakian

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{{Quote|'''MY COCK IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS!!!!!!!'''|Daron's Infamous Quote}}
{{Character Box 1|name=Daron Malakian|image=Daroneyes.png|caption='''His iconic eyes'''|gender=Male|pronouns=He/Him/Drugs|sexuality=Unclear|species=Human?|age=49|color=White|nationality=Armenian|hometown=Bikini Bottom|height=Smol|affiliations=|other1=System of a Down(Formerly)<br>[[Foo Fighters]](Formerly)<br>[[Freaky Society]]|other_1=Affiliations|friends=[[Mr. Bean]]<br>[[Crack Miser]](BFF)<br>[[Franklin Turtle]]<br>[[Freaky Bob]]<br>[[Freaky Patrick]](Deceased)<br>[[𝓓𝓪𝓷]]<br>[[Terry Perry]]<br>[[Elmer Fudd]]<br>[[Chujin Ketsukane]]<br>[[Diego Marcoson]]<br>[[Ka-Chung]]|enemies=Any NPC}}
''this page is on a famous person so most likely they don't give a shit on stuff like this and this Daron is NOT THE IRL DARON so keep that in mind because they are polar opposites''

'''Daron Malakian''' '''''(Դարոն Մալաքյան)''''' is a known former member of the band System of a Down and current representative for the  [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society]]. He has his own band but nobody cares about that so im excluding that on the lore of him and btw, he's an infamous drug addict similar to his best friend [[Crack Miser]].

His favorite food are [[Furry Porn Patties]](excluding drugs in food to "Spice" it up).

== Biography ==

=== Syndrome of a Down ===
During 2001, [[SpongeBob Fanon Wiki|The Spongebob Fanon Anime]] released an arc called the "Syndrome of a Down Arc" where Serj joins an alliance with [[SpongeBob SquarePants|Spongebob]] and [[Squidward Q. Tentacles|Squidward]] on a quest to prevent the Plankton Army. This was when Daron was introduced as a minor character who supports them like a cheerleader. Nothing really happens to him.

=== Meeting with Crack Miser ===
In 2005, Daron was so money hungry and demanded to have total money over their recent albums(Hypnotise and Mesmerize) and this made the whole band angry so they dismantled all together. After this, Daron didn't know what to do and ended up with Crack Miser on the streets, at first they were neutral towards each other but later on they worked together to rob idiots which led them getting rich and buying stuff from [[Franklin Turtle | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴lin the Turtle]], [[𝓓𝓪𝓷|Dan]], and [[Diego Marcoson|Diego]].

He is also the first and only one who knew Crack Miser wasn't actually dead before everything got revealed.

He is also close friends with [[Mr. Bean]] as both have a lot in common with being absolutely handsome and freaky as hell.

=== Arrest ===
[[File:Barbie-trend-but-its-daron-and-serj-v0-44wbyzx73s2b1.png|center|thumb|295x295px|Him in a barbie shirt]]
At a Barbie movie showing; Crack Miser, Mr. Bean, and him did a mass shooting because they were drunk while pissing and shitting on the carpets. Good Bob snitched on them as they were sentenced life to prison in [[Bikini Bottom Jail]] but eventually [[Freaky Bob]] and [[Freaky Patrick]] saved them for killing the blue-haired Twitter liberals during the movie showing. After that, Daron became friends with both of them.

=== Foo Fighters Saga ===
[[File:Screenshot 2024-11-02 5.19.26 PM.png|center|thumb|268x268px|Its actually canon irl that Daron met Dave Grohl.]]
Crack Miser told Daron about a new team he's in called the [[Foo Fighters]] where they are publicly a band but more as a villainous group. This led Daron to join the group and to meet Dave Grohl and Corrin as he was officially accepted onto the group, he also provided guitar stuff in their songs and became powerful enough to be a first ranked member. He also became friends with [[Chujin Ketsukane|Chujin]] because Chujin had sex robots and he liked that, similar to Crack Miser's reason onto friending Chujin.

Everything went downhill when [[Modest Bob]] came and ruined everything in Daron's perspective, at first Modest Bob was ok but all he was suggesting is to be against Freaky Bob especially after his best friend died in a gay sex gang related accident. This led to Daron being against him but this wasn't enough when Dave Grohl sided with Modest Bob so Daron, Crack Miser, and even Chujin leaked many documents of the group and left before the group could even react. Nowadays, the trio is neutral to the team.

=== Death?? ===
Daron was getting a little freaky during this time and accidently get himself raped by [[Pizza Fucker Krabs]], nobody knows how this happened but Daron died.
[[File:Nononoononono.jpg|center|thumb|377x377px|Daron's Mistake]]
Daron was approached by [[God (ParodySponge)|God]] and God remembered how Daron killed System of a Down so God planned to put him in [[Hell (Daddy Pig Continuum)|Hell]] then a Cosmic God known by the name "Freaky Bob"(Idkwhy I used quote signs even though fhe has appeared more than once on this page) came in and saved Daron and resurrected him. Daron was confused on how Freaky Bob saved him two times but Freaky Bob said and in quote
{{Quote|'''I was just having cum blasts while listening to my favorite songs like Chop Suey! and Hypnotize so I had to save you those two times, now your my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 leaky drizzy drakey sex partner'''|Freaky Bob}}
Now Daron has to pay the '''''price''''' as he enters Freaky Bob's 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 dungeon to have a little bit '''''fun.'''''
[[File:Darono.mp4|center|thumb|361x361px|Daron entering Freaky Bob's scary 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 dungeon.]]

=== 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 arc ===
'''''This arc is the current one in the series and the longest by far, its also the reason on how the show is turning into a Fullmetal Alchemist clone but who cares about that.'''''

Daron in the beginning of the arc joined the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 society as a Low-Ranking Member due to his skills being all wack. Freaky Bob didn't want the dude to be a lazy bum so fhe trained him by hardcore sex, magic abilities, power strikes, and ect. During that month was the brutalist month for him but it payed off with him being a High-Rank Member that can defend the group and join on their missions. He is now an important character in the arc as he helps Freakybob, Dan, [[Terry Perry]], [[Ka-Chung]], [[Elmer Fudd]], and more.

That actually got Crack Miser to be an ally to the group solely because Daron is in it.

He is also a devout member of [[𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂ism]].

== Daron Malakian Trading Cards ==
He has '''<big>AWESOME</big>''' trading cards that are used as a reference to Pokemon Cards because we don't have the right for them.
[[File:Daron-version-of-pokemon-cards-v0-k9pfgho0jwkd1.png|center|thumb|908x908px|cardz]]
==Trivia==

* He made a sad song for Freaky Patrick at his funeral.

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